The next few weeks flew by in a rushed whirlwind of fun. Most days I now spent at Alice's, which I had done before but I seemed to be turning up more and more frequently as the days went by. And after a few weeks I found myself actually preferring the friend situation. By the end of that first summer month I had nearly completely forgotten about that first week that Edward had first came down. Of course there would always be something there that would make me slip up. Like his smile. That crooked smile took me down every time. But most of the time it was easy. I could be completely comfortable around him. No pressure. He had become my best friend.
I texted Alice on Saturday to let her know I was on my way. She had become very uninterested in mine and Edward's relationship. Now that it was becoming more and more obvious that nothing would happen I found her questioning me less and less frequently. Now all her attention was focused on her relationship with Jasper. They had become an official item by the end of that first week, as did Rosalie and Emmett. And although when I looked at them I could see that they were all blissfully happy, I knew they couldn't possibly as happy as I was. With my best friend.
As I drove down to Alice's I thought of all the things I'd learnt about Edward. How his parents died when he was a young child, what college he planned to go to, his favourite things, things he hates - which was a very short list. Over the weeks our constant joking had become our second language.
As I pulled into the Cullen garage I saw Alice run out the door. "Bella!" She called, "Stay in your car, we're going to Port Angelus!" I took my hand off the car door handle and waited for Alice to reach the car. I was slightly annoyed that Alice was interrupting one of my days with Edward. The amount of days left was going down shockingly fast. Alice jumped into the car.
"Why are we going to Port Angelus?" I asked, I could hear a sharpness in my voice.
"Because I thought we needed a girl's day out! I feel like we haven't seen eachother all Summer!" I knew she was right. So with a sigh I started the car and headed out of the Cullen drive.
After about an hour of walking through Port Angelus I felt the time going by increasingly slow. I started to plan what me and Edward could do when I got back. Probably our usual sitting out in the field. It was amazing how we never ran out of things to talk about, it never got boring.
"Hey Bella," Alice whispered, snapping me out of my trance, "That guy keeps looking at you!" She giggled. I looked over. A boy in a faded blue checked shirt with brown short hair was leaning against the side of a shop. Alice was right, he was looking. "You should go talk to him!" I hesitated. I didn't want anything like this now. This Summer had been so great because I didn't have to deal with pressures like this. It was light and it was easy.
"No." I said simply. Alice stared at me, her eyes narrowing to slits.
"Bella you and Edward clearly aren't happening! You haven't gone out with anyone since Jacob! You need to get out there or your going to be single for the rest of your life!" She was shouting now.
"Wow, over reactions." I said laughing slightly, but I was slightly offended. Sure I didn't want to be with Edward now but that was my choice and I wouldn't be single for the rest of my life. "I just want this Summer to be relaxed, I've had too many dramas and for once I just want to focus on me." I said this all in one breath. It felt so good to say that last sentence. Focus on me. Not Charlie, not Jacob, not anything. Just me.
"Fine" Alice huffed. "Let's go, it's getting boring here." And I suddenly realized why she brought me here. It wasn't for bonding time, it was to find me a boyfriend. I smiled slightly. Nice to know her new romance hadn't changed her.
We walked back to the car and I started driving home. It was beginning to get dark now, but I didn't care. I was still planning on seeing Edward today.
I walked into the Cullen house, Alice at my side. Normally, around this time, Edward and I would come inside and hang out with everyone else, listening to music and watching TV. Which is why it shocked me when I walked into the living room and he was nowhere to be seen. Everyone else was gathered on the sofas.
Alice walked straight over to Jasper and sat on his lap. "Where's Edward?" She asked, not directing the question at anyone in particular.
"Tanya came for a visit," Emmett shouted from the kitchen, his mouth full of freshly popped popcorn.
"Tanya?" I asked. I felt a lump forming in my throat.
"Yeah she was his best friend back home. They were nearly an item before we left but he didn't want to start something just to go away for three months." I felt a huge wave of sadness wash over me. Tanya. Of course there was someone back home. Of course there was a Tanya.
I walked out of the room and out to the field saying nothing. She was probably much prettier than me, and funnier. I knew that I shouldn't be thinking about this so much. We were friends. And up until sixty seconds ago, that was everything I wanted, everything I needed. So why should I be feeling like this.
I caught a flash of Edward's smile in my head and suddenly realized why. Because I was always hoping that, by the end of this Summer, we would end up together. I always thought it had felt right. But there was a Tanya. A girl who he nearly went out with. A girl who he probably was, or is, in love with. I could imagine her in my head. She was probably insanely pretty, smart, kind. She probably had everything I was lacking. And the most heartbreaking thing she had, something that I could never have or get, was Edward.