AN: January has been a very bad month, my apologies.

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Colorblind

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Her phone rang noisily on the bedside table, but Massie didn't want to answer it. She laid face down on her pillow for a few seconds, waiting for the ringing to stop. After seven rings, her cellphone went silent. But five seconds later, the ringing started up again. Massie let out an exasperated groan and grabbed her phone, flipping it open angrily.

"What do you want, Dylan?" Massie rubbed her eyes with her hand as she pressed the phone between her ear and her shoulder.

There was a small giggle on the other line. "Jesus, M, no need to get pissed. I was just calling-

"Not everyone is a morning person."

Pause. "It's not morning anymore..."

Massie shot up from her lying position. "What time is it, Dylan?"

"Hold on." The sound of muffled rustling filled Massie's ears as she patiently waited. After a few seconds, the rustling stopped and Dylan came back on the line. "It's one in the afternoon."

Massie blinked a few times. "Ok. Thanks for waking me up."

"You're welcome, lazy ass. Now can we get back to why I called?"

"Sure, sure." Massie sat up and ran a hand through her tangled hair. "What's up?"

"Well, the girls and I were talking, and we decided that you need a new wardrobe. We're taking you shopping!"

Massie looked out her window and noticed the sky was getting darker as they spoke. "Don't you think it's gonna rain? All the malls are outdoors."

Dylan sighed, annoyed. "Yes, but you need this, okay?"

Rolling her eyes, Massie climbed out of bed. "Thank you for emphasizing every other word. I really appreciated that. I'm just not really in the mood, okay? Plus I don't really want to see Claire"

"Massie! You're never in the mood for anything. We're doing this for you, you know? And to prove it, we won't even mention this to Claire."

"Thank you," Massie said as she pulled on a jacket. "But I feel like every time we do something, it's for me. I don't want to be burden; I can take care of myself."

"We're your best friends, Massie. You have to let someone watch your back. We all love you like family, so you have to let us treat you like family too. I know that sometimes our plans can be too much, but we all have your best interest at heart."

Massie finished dressing, and staring blankly into the wall in front of her as she pondered upon Dylan's heartfelt words. Soon enough, her heart melted and she gave in to her friend's words. "I love you guys, too. But if it starts raining, we are going back. No buts."

Dylan squealed through the other line. "Yes! You're the best! Meet at Alicia's house in five."

Massie chuckled to herself as she snapped her phone shut and walked down the stairs to tell Derrick she was heading out, but she was only met with an empty house.

"Derrick?" She asked into the emptiness. Her voice bounced around the barren halls and high ceilings before landing flatly on the wooden ground.

For some strange reason, Massie felt betrayed. Things with Derrick were finally looking up, and yet he still managed to leave her so alone. She sighed hollowly, grabbed her purse, and walked out the door.

::

"Oh my god, this would look so good on you, Mass." Kristen squealed as she held up a skimpy dress in front of Massie's body.

Massie grimaced and swatted it away. "It's so tiny I could wear it as a headband."

Dylan sauntered over, a sugar cookie in hand. "At least you can wear it. You do have a killer bod, M."

"Dyl..." Massie eyed her friend sadly. "You're beautiful, too. Sometimes I wish I had a body like yours, with a nice chest and a nice butt-

"Don't say shit like that, Massie. I know you would rather be skinny than like me." The redhead flung her cookie at the trash can aimlessly, getting her dirty looks from the shop employees. "I'm never going to eat damned sugary things ever again. Starting today, I am going to workout like a freak."

Alicia walked over, her arms full of dresses and skirts to try on. "Are you ladies coming or not? You've barely picked out anything to wear."

"I'm too fat," Dylan whined.

Alicia rolled her eyes.

"This isn't really my style," Kristen added apologetically.

"Not every store can carry sports bras and running shorts, Kristen."

Kristen blushed. "Those are not the only things I wear." She quickly pulled three items off a random rack without looking and headed towards the fitting room.

Massie grabbed the dress Kristen had offered her earlier, along with two other dresses that were nearest to her. "I'll come with you, Leesh. Dylan, at least come with so you can share your opinions with us."

Dylan looked as if she was contemplating the suggestion, and broke out into a tiny grin. "Fine, I guess."

Alicia turned around, satisfied, and the rest of the girls followed towards the fitting rooms, each claiming their own while Dylan sat on the velvet chair in the middle.

Massie shut her door quietly and released a soft sigh as she began to take off her clothes. She scanned the items that she had grabbed, and groaned when she realized that all of them would barely cover her body. Promising herself she wouldn't buy any of the clothes here, Massie grabbed the first dress and pulled it on anyway. She walked out of the fitting room slowly and the eyes of her three best friends all lit up.

Alicia, who was wearing a soft, flowing dress, smiled approvingly. "You look magnificent."

"I look like a hooker," Massie pouted playfully.

Kristen tugged at the pencil skirt she was wearing. "At least it's better than this."

Dylan rolled her eyes. "Massie, you have to buy this. It is so cute and you'll look great when we go clubbing tonight."

"Wait, what?" Massie frowned.

Alicia smacked Dylan in the arm lightly. "You weren't supposed to bring that up until we got her in the right mindset."

Kristen looked scared as she scanned Massie's facials. But Massie didn't feel angry at all, instead, she felt relieved.

"Guys, I don't mind, really. It's so nice of you to be thinking of me all the time. I'd be more than happy to go clubbing with you guys, but please let me wear something I could actually move in."

Kristen, Alicia, and Dylan all came barreling towards Massie, enveloping in a lung crushing hug.

"We love you," Alicia murmured in her ear.

The girls pulled away and returned to their respective rooms.

Massie's smile lit up her whole face as she started unzipping her dress. Today might be a good day after all.

The door to Alicia's fitting room swung open squeakily. "Dylan and I will be at the cashier," she yelled to the still undressing Massie and Kristen. "Meet us at the door when you're... what the hell are you doing here?"

The sudden iciness in Alicia's voice shocked Massie to the bone. She quickly flung on her jacket and walked out of her room. Cam was standing there, shopping bags in hand as Claire approached them with new clothes in her hands. She narrowed her eyes at the sight of Massie. Dylan quickly came behind Massie and put a soft hand on her shoulder. Kristen walked out of her dressing room, and instantly froze when she saw the scene in front of her.

"I thought you were all staying home," Claire accused Alicia., her eyes still trained on Massie.

Alicia flipped her hair. "I thought you were going to watch a movie."

"Movies end."

"So do friendships."

Claire laughed coldly. "Funny how things can change so quickly."

Dylan scoffed. "Funny how people can be so different from what you thought they were."

"At least I haven't been the dark cloud looming over everyone's heads this whole entire vacation."

Massie stopped breathing. This was not happening again. She had just talked herself out of her bad mood and into a good one, and all of sudden everything came crumbling down again. "Claire, just leave. No one wants to fight with you."

"So weak," Claire spat as she walked into her fitting room and slammed the door.

Dylan tugged at Massie's elbow. "Let's go."

Massie stared at Cam now. He was fidgeting awkwardly and shuffling his feet, not meeting eyes with Massie. She sucked in a deep breath. "You guys go ahead, I need to talk to Cam."

"We're not leaving you alone with him." Kristen pulled at Massie's other elbow.

"Guys," Massie looked at the three girls softly. "I'll be fine, okay?"

Alicia sighed with annoyance. "Five minutes. That's it. If you go a second over, we will personally come in here and rescue you."

Massie smiled wanly and watched as the girls walked away. Cam looked up at her when they're footsteps faded, his two-toned eyes rimmed with darkness. He looked sad and lost, like a puppy wandering in the rain. Massie wanted to reach out and touch him, but she knew that the only thing that would happen would be the burning of them both.

"Can we go somewhere else?" Massie asked quietly as she tilted her head towards the door.

Cam nodded and Massie lead the way, exiting the store and earning confused looks from Alicia as they passed them at the cashier.

They stopped walking when they reached a bench somewhere down the block. Massie sat down, dropping her purse by her side. Cam sat at the opposite end of the bench, dropping Claire's shopping bags at his feet.

After a long, awkward pause, Cam cleared his throat. "It's going to rain."

"Sure, let's talk about the weather. It's not like there's more important things to discuss."

Cam ran a hand through his golden hair. "Massie, I'm sorry for what happened last night."

"I know."

"I wish I could go back in time and fix it."

"You can't."

"I wish you would just let me explain-

"Cam," Massie looked at him emptily. "I don't want to hear your explanation. What you did really hurt me."

He sighed loudly and wrung his hands uncomfortably. "It was stupid, I know."

Massie pursed her lips. "Then why did you do it? If you knew that I was going to end up being hurt, why did you do it?"

"Because I was selfish and all I could see was the good side to the situation. I was blinded, I guess."

Massie didn't respond for a while, and she let her mind wander. Next to her, she could feel Cam's body heat in the chilly, rainy air, and it didn't affect her at all. She didn't want him anymore. She never really wanted him at all.

"You really love Claire, don't you?"

Cam studied Massie's face slowly. "I do," he admitted sheepishly.

Massie looked down at her hands in her lap. "You two are perfect for each other, you and your lying, cheating ways."

"I deserved that one."

"You deserve a lot more."

"Then why don't you just give me what I deserve and get it over with? Why aren't you yelling or screaming or hitting me like you should be? Isn't that what I deserve?"

Every muscle in Massie's body tensed. "That would be too easy, and nothing about this is easy. You deserve Claire, and she deserves you. Whatever happens next is your own problem."

"What is going to happen next?"

The sudden seriousness of the situation suddenly fell on top of Massie. What is really going to happen next? Cam is out of her life for good and Derrick is a complete mystery. But Massie is never going to live a fulfilled life if she doesn't get a taste of both. "I don't know. But that doesn't mean I'll just forget about this and move on."

A crooked smile emerged on Cam's lips. "I know. Nothing could excuse me for what I did, and honestly, the guilt I'm feeling right now is pretty painful. But I just want your forgiveness Massie, and maybe we could be friends again." He ended the sentence with a slight lilt, making it a question rather than a statement.

Massie shook her head sadly. "I don't even know what to think anymore. We won't ever be the same."

"I'm still Cam, Massie."

"Not to me you're not. Not anymore."

"So that's it? We're done for good?" Cam's voice shook with emotion as truth of his words left his mouth and floated into the air around them, circling their heads, taunting them.

But if this is where they were meant to be, this is where they will stay. Massie nodded her head numbly. "This is the end of us." She didn't want to have to say those words, but they were actually a relief to the heavy tugging in her heart. It was as if those words were the block that was preventing her from reaching her freedom, her full potential.

Cam stood up. "I guess this is goodbye then?" He held his hand out.

Massie took his hand gingerly and stood up as well. There was no electricity in their touch, no spark, no emotion. Just nothing. And that was all the reassurance Massie ever needed. Her heart was settled and her mind was satisfied. With a smile, she slung her purse over her shoulder. "Goodbye, Cameron Fisher."

He nodded curtly and walked away without a single glance back.

Massie secretly wished he would have looked back because she really hated losing Cam like this. And although they will have to see each other everyday, their easy-going ways were no more. Now their encounters will be awkward and fake, like talking to strangers.

She closed her eyes just as the first raindrop fell.

Without a second look back, Massie walked away from the mall to the place she knew she could find her answers.

::

The rain was falling steadily and heavily by the time she reached the soccer field. There was a very low chance the person she wanted to see would still be here, but it was worth the walk.

Massie walked into the center of the field, the wet grass soaking through her shoes. She shielded her eyes against the pounding rain as she scanned the wide expanse of grass. The field was empty and gray, just like how the inside of her heart currently felt. A sudden disappointment washed over her body like a wave, unexplainable yet forceful. She turned around to leave, her wet locks hitting her raw cheeks lightly with every step.

"Massie?"

Massie stopped moving. All the blood in her body rushed into her heart, leaving everything numb and frozen except the rapid beating in her chest.

"Massie, what are you doing here?" The voice was behind her now, close and hot against her neck.

A shiver ran down Massie's spine as she turned around slowly. Her eyes looked straight into the golden ones of the boy she had hoped with all her might would be here.

"Derrick," she breathed. "You're still here?"

He looked confused. "I was on my way back, but I left my towel here. How did you find me?"

Massie suddenly felt very exposed. "I just had a feeling you would be here."

"Okay." Derrick smiled crookedly, and Massie almost gasped out loud. She had never seen Derrick's smile before, and it was just as breathtaking as she had imagined it to be. "Let's go back. It's starting to rain pretty hard."

Massie looked around at the bleak grayness. "I kind of like it. Can we sit?"

"Right here?" Derrick asked uncertainly.

"I guess." Massie shrugged.

"Okay." Derrick sat down, and Massie did too.

They're knees where touching, and they're shoulders were an inch apart. Massie looked at Derrick, the same time he turned to look at her, and she stopped breathing.

Suddenly nervous, Massie was the first to look away. "I talked to Cam today."

Derrick searched her eyes. "What happened?"

"It was like a breakup, but we were never together in the first place. I'm kind of glad it's over though; the whole thing is over and I can finally breathe again."

Roughly, Derrick pulled a fistful of grass from the field and threw it out in front of them. "That was your celebratory confetti."

Massie chuckled. "I'm honored."

"Wanna do something?"

Massie threw her hands up in the air. "Anything. Let's do anything!"

Derrick stood up and jogged over the his soccer bag that was thrown carelessly onto the ground. "I still have my soccer ball. Wanna play?"

"Oh god," Massie groaned. "I haven't played in years."

"Then it won't be too hard for me to kick your butt." Derrick pulled the ball from the bag and kicked it towards Massie.

Massie stopped the ball with her foot and narrowed her eyes. "We'll see about that. I have a strong feeling you're not going to be the one doing the ass kicking around here."

"It's on." Derrick ran over to Massie without warning and kicked the ball out from under her foot.

"Hey!" Massie yelled angrily and chased after Derrick. "That wasn't fair! I wasn't ready." She was laughing and running at the same time, and nothing had ever felt this good. The rain was drenching her to the bones, but Massie couldn't care less. She was finally having fun with the person she never thought she would have fun with, and she was going to savor this moment no matter what happened.

Derrick skillfully kicked the ball into the goal. "Point for Derrick! Who ever said we had to play fair?" He ducked under the goal and picked the ball up, walked back to the center of the field.

Massie walked up to Derrick slowly, eyes blazing. He stared at her, dumbfounded, his grip on the ball slackening. She didn't stop until they were only a few centimeters apart and she could feel his chest move with every breath. Rising up on her tiptoes, Massie leaned close to Derricks ear. "You win."

He shivered.

She smiled. He was right where she wanted him to be. Quickly, she snatched the ball from his hands and threw it in front of her, kicking it as hard as she could to the opposite side.

Unable to contain herself, Massie released a triumphant laugh and looked back at Derrick. He looked furious.

"Im going to get you, Block!"

Massie screamed playfully and ran after the ball as quickly as she could. But Derrick was faster than her, and soon enough, he was sprinting in front of her.

Deviously, Massie crumpled to the ground and clutched her ankle. "Ouch! Derrick I think I twisted my ankle."

Derrick was in the process of kicking the ball when he heard Massie's cries. He immediately stopped what he was doing and ran over to Massie. "Oh my god, are you okay? What happened?"

"I don't know. It hurts..."

"Is it broken?"

Massie shook her head.

"Can you stand?"

Massie shook her head again.

Derrick reached out a hand to help Massie up and Massie took it with a large grin. Before Derrick could even pull her up, she pulled him down onto the sloshing grass.

"Got ya," Massie taunted playfully and she jumped up to chase after the ball. But Derrick was too fast and he stuck out a leg, tripping her backwards and causing her to fall directly on top of him.

Suddenly, everything was so close: their bodies, their faces, their mouths. Massie remained wide-eyed as she stared into Derrick's. And before she could say anything, he tilted his head up and pressed his warm lips to hers.

Massie had always dreamed about kissing in the rain, but not like this. She didn't want this, not yet she didn't. Even though this is exactly where her heart wanted her to be, her brain was working furiously, screaming at her that whatever was happening was bad.

Awkwardly, Massie pulled away from Derrick and fumbled to stand up.

He sat up, cheeks flushed.

"What's wrong?"

Massie opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. The only thing she could do was clamp her mouth shut and remain silent because she knew if her mouth remained open, her screams would come out.

She shook her head softly as Derrick looked at her with confusion.

This time, it was Massie Block that walked away.