Ally's POV

I was in pain. Worse than anything I've ever felt before. And it wasn't because of Austin kissing Cassidy, no. It was the pain of seeing Austin in that hospital bed, so weak and frail. He's in a coma. He's in it because of me. Stupid me. His bruised ribs, broken leg, broken arm, and his broken heart because of me. My anger for him. My anger for something he didn't do.

My guilt. Don't even get me started on my guilt because that's even worse than my anger. Everyone knows it's my fault, they aren't brave enough to say it. And I don't blame them; if it was me I would be afraid to tell someone it was their fault; I'd be afraid they'd be mad at me, and stand up in defense.

But they shouldn't be afraid to tell me what they think. I wouldn't get defensive. I wouldn't shout in their face that it was no ones fault. I would nod quietly and put my head down because I know the truth. I know I had drove him away when I wanted him so badly. I missed him when he was gone.

Now I miss him even more. He's my everything, and without him, I feel empty; as if I had no purpose or way to live.

I know how cheesy this sounds, but he's the love of my life.

I just hope he forgives me when he wakes up. If he wakes up...

"Ally? Are you okay?" Piper nudges me. I snap back in reality when I'm in the hospital food court.

Everyone is looking at me- Trish, Dez, Carrie, Gavin, Piper my mom, my dad, Sidney, Krystal, and Patrick.

I look down at my plate, which is mac and cheese with green beans and potato's. "Fine," I say stiffly, picking at the disgusting hospital food. It was a dumb question, really, to ask if I was okay. Everyone knew I wasn't okay. My tear-stained face, messy hair, and a frown glued to my face said it all.

"Can I be excused?" I can't take it anymore, I run into the bathroom once I get their permission to go, and I cry. I cry like I never have before. Makeup runs down my face like it has all day, and I decide to wash my face until there is no makeup remaining. That wouldn't stop the crying, but it would stop the mascara from running.

I cry more, even though I know crying doesn't help. And I know Austin doesn't like me crying. "Dry those tears Alls," I can almost hear him say; and I thought I felt his soft fingers on my eyes, drying my tears and making everything okay.

"Ally..." I hear someone whisper, and I look up to see Trish.

"Go away!" I moan, laying my head on the counter where the sinks are. "It's my fault," I whisper, bothering to put my head up. "It's all my fault..." I swallow and lump in my throat.

"Ally come here." Trish is now an inch away from me and she wraps me into a hug. "It's not your fault. It's no ones fault. It was an accident."

I cry on her shoulder. "That's what everyone keeps saying! I was driving him away!" I yell, crying and hugging her more.

"No you weren't. You were scared that Cassidy was going to steal him away from you. But that's no gonna happen Ally-gator, and you know why?" I don't answer, deciding it was just for her to finish. I feel to weak to even answer. "Austin loves you."

"You mean loved?" my voice cracks.

"No. Austin still loves you."

I sniff and pull away. I don't say anything. "And if he doesn't, I'm gonna kick his a-"

"Okay Trish, I get it." I manage to let out a small, weak laugh through my tears.

"C'mon, let's go back to the cafeteria." She nudges me and I weakly follow.

...

I put my hand on the glass where Austin is. His eyes are closed, and he's breathing softly. Even though I know he's in so much pain right now... he looks so... in piece. He was stressed out when he went out the door. I know I broke his heart.

He doesn't even have to try. He still looks perfect to me in that hospital bed. He's still the best looking guy in my eyes. He'll always be the highlight of my day. If he lives, if he dies; he'll be the sun. I'll grieve myself to death, but I know when that day comes when I grieve over his loss, I know I'll be up there with him where I belong. There is a day when we all die, and the day Austin dies, I won't be too far along.

And I begin to question if he will do the same for me after what I did to him. How much pain I caused him. How better he would have been without me. How I made myself the victim of something he didn't do. Something he'd never do. And I'll always hate myself for that.

Trish's words come back to me. According to her, he still loves me. Every part of me hopes she's right.

I finally get the courage to open the door. This is my first time entering the room, but not the first time seeing him. The first time I saw him was 1:00 this morning, and I haven't gone home since then.

I approach him slowly, and I gently take a seat down on the chair; I take his weak hand. "Hi Austin," I start, trying so hard not to break down again. My lips quiver as I search for the right words. A tear streams down my face. It's easier to wipe my tears without worrying about makeup.

"I...I don't know if you can hear me," I continue, "but I just wanna say that I'm sorry... and I didn't mean for this to happen. If I knew that this was going to happen I would have stopped you right away. And it was so wrong of me to break up with you when you were trying so hard to tell me that I was the only person you loved.

But I didn't believe you," I whisper that part, and put my head down, than back up again. "I didn't believe you! And you told me a thousand times that I was the only person you wanted. But I didn't listen!" I feel myself breaking down. Slowly... but surely.

"I didn't listen," I say softly. "And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Austin. I'm the one that should be in that hospital bed, not you."

I prepare myself to say the hardest thing I've ever said to him besides telling him I loved him for the first time or breaking up with him. I continue after silence. "But there's a way out of here," I continue, whispering; and I swallow. "You can let go. You will be happier than you'll ever be here. You can do whatever you want; you can see your family again.

But if you don't, and you come back, I will be thrilled. Even if you don't want to talk to me again at least I know your okay. And maybe you'll be better without me. B-But I just want you to know that I love you. I love you more than you know. I just wanted you to know that.

You're my Moon," I whisper, putting my head down and crying. The crying turned into sobbing. "I-I love y-you so m-much." I kiss his hand, and sit up on the chair. "And I guess that's it."

I exit the room with a heavy heart. I was heartbroken, and I just want him back.

Everyone else has gone home but Piper and Krystal. They told me they'd give me a ride home once I was finished visiting Austin. I see them when I walk out on the bench, and Krystal is leaning on Piper's shoulders, and their heads are close together as they sleep. I smile a little. Their friendship was always cute me for some reason. It almost wants me not to wake them up.

Saving me trouble, Krystal's eyes fly open, and she nudges Piper awake. Piper snorts. "What?" I manage to laugh a little at her reaction of being woken up. I notice her mascara was running indicating she was crying to. I don't blame her. I would be the same if it were Patrick.

Krystal reminds her that I need a ride, and she nods. "C'mon honey let's get you home," Piper get's on her feet and we make our way into the car. I sit in the back while Krystal drives and Piper is in the passenger seat.

I lean my head against the window and sniff. Everyone was quiet the whole ride. My sniffling was the only noise. They drop me off and I open the door. "Thanks guys," I weakly say as I get out and go up the elevator and to my apartment.

When I get home, I go straight to bed. I don't turn on the lights. I don't pay any attention to Prince as he runs and tries to lick me. I don't even put my pajamas on. I just lay there and stare at the wall.

I can't sleep. I can't eat. I can't do anything but just sit there.

But after an hour of laying there with no success of sleeping, I sit up and turn on the light. I walk in the dresser where the close are. I open it to Austin's side. I take out one of his shirts and crawl back into bed and breathe in his familiar scent and cry some more.

"Austin..." I say through tears. "Austin..." I repeat. I repeat his name over and over again, but he doesn't respond. And I don't expect him to. I place my hand on the spot where he slept. "Austin..."

Okay you can rant about how terrible I am now. But things will get better I swear. Sorry the chapter is so short and freaking depressing.