Disclaimer: Firecrackers hurt, so do lawsuits.
Trust me this has to do with the plot. Somewhat. Meet my mind on cold medicine.
September 7 - Thursday - Playing with Fire
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Brother Hood House
"What a be-a-you-tiful day," Arcade said to the others as he walked into the kitchen strangely calm.
"Are you okay?" Wanda asked.
"Never better my Gothic friend, the sun is shining," It was raining, "The birds are singing," no bird in their right mind would live near the Brotherhood house, "And I have the perfect plan to stay safe today," Arcade said with a scary smile, "Go to school, school is boring, school is safe."
"I think the dead guys got to him," Pietro laughed before looking at his watch, "Whoa got a date, see ya!"
"Dead guys?" Lance asked, and regretted it the moment it left his mouth, he knew that if it involved his house mates he didn't want to know.
"Yo, there was this hot vampire chick, and a murderous zombie dude," Todd explained, "They were going to kill us till the hot one, named Marcy, saved us."
"I regret asking," Lance groaned, "Better get Arcade to school so he doesn't slip farther into insanity."
"Why? He would be like everyone else if he did," Good Fred said.
"Him being like everyone else would be bad," Wanda said before going outside to steal a neighbor's car.
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School, First Period, Computer Class
with Arcade, and Piotr
"What a be-a-u-tiful day Rusky," Arcade said to Piotr.
"Are you okay? Wait weren't you missing yesterday?" Piotr asked.
"Never better. I have gained new insight into my life," Arcade smiled.
"You are scarring me," Piotr said.
"There is no need to be afraid," Arcade smiled.
"I am going to sit on the other side of the room," Piotr walked away, "Why do I have to be here I am not really sixteen years old," Piotr paused, "At least I have Kitty in all my other classes."
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School, First Period, Ethics Class, Mr Lowe
with Todd, Pietro (having just finished his date, don't you love time zones?), Evil Fred, and Duncan
"Welcome back class," Mr. Lowe greeted his students, "Who can tell me the ethical problems with arson?"
"ME ME ME!" Todd yelled waving his arm around.
"Yes mister Tolensky," The teacher smiled at the thought of Todd actually learning.
"To easy to get caught," Todd said proudly.
"That is true," The teacher admitted, "There are cameras everywhere..."
"Make sure the security tapes melt," Duncan offered.
"Good idea," The teacher pulled out notebook, "Let me write this down."
"Use gasoline, makes it grow faster," Evil Fred said.
"But gasoline supports terrorists, use good ol' American grown cotton as kindling," A student said.
"True, most oil is in countries that support terrorists," The teacher crossed something off his pad, not noticing that Principal Bloominghantranfishcomoncalit had walked in the door.
"Am I interrupting something?" Principal B asked.
"SIR!" The teacher hid his pad of paper.
"It seemed to me like you were going to repeat recent events," Principal B walked farther in, "Did you start the last fire?"
"No. BUT WHOEVER DID NEEDS A MEDAL!" Mr. Lowe stood on his desk, "YOU HAVE CHEATED US TO LONG MR. B! I AM GOING ON STRIKE!"
"Then leave, I'll call a sub," Mr. B turned to the phone on the desk.
"This is odd," Todd said to Pietro.
"You think his anniversary present burning in the fire and his wife kicking him out has anything to do with his insanity?" Pietro asked.
"Yes," Evil Fred said, "I saw the break up, it was violent. I am surprised at the recovery Mr. Lowe made."
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School, First Period, Law and Justice Honors, Mr. Williams
with Fred, Amara, St.John, and Jubilee
"Princess of my fire," St.John held up a burnt rose to Amara, "I have had all my class aligned with your's so that we may fulfill with the stars have predicted with the alignment of Mars and the new planet Xena."
"That's so sweet," Amara blushed.
"Add in the moon Gabriell and we are meant to be," St.John continued.
"Slightly creepy though," Amara muttered.
"How come when he is a stalker he gets the girl and when I stalk Jean I don't?" Good Fred asked no one in particular.
"I think has to do with St.John's first DR session," Jubilee said, "Amara hit her head and John saved her."
"That would do it," Good Fred said, "What should I hit Jean with?"
"Great," Jubilee sighed, "I should have stayed with my foster parents."
"Why didn't you?" Good Fred asked.
"Don't ask, long story involving Rahne and rabies shots," Jubilee sighed.
"That happened once on my farm," Good Fred reminisced, "I think he survived."
"I don't want to know," Jubilee moved to a seat farther away.
"Good morning class," The teacher walked in ten minutes late, "I am protesting the principal as such would everyone please lite their books on fire and sit in a circle so that we can sing Kumbaya."
"Fire?" St.John asked to quietly for anyone but Amara to hear.
"Behave Johnny," Amara said seductively.
"Aw, why?" St.John asked.
"You can't take me out Saturday if you are in trouble," Amara said.
"Huh?" St.John blinked.
"Just don't lite anything on fire," Amara sighed.
"But they are going to lite it on fire," St.John pointed at the various smokers who were lending out their lighters.
"Don't make it get out of control," Amara sighed as various ancient text books were burnt. Some of which rivaled the Egyptian Book of the Dead in age.
"Kumbaya my lord," Good Fred sang loudly in a high soprano.
"Who knew he could get that high?" Jubilee said before joining in.
"MR. WILLIAMS!" Principal B walked in after dealing with mister Lowe, "WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT FIRE AS A PROTEST?"
"Only on city hall?" Mr. Williams asked.
"RIGHT!" Principal B yelled.
"Fine I will protest you on city hall," Mr. Williams left the room.
"I need another sub," Principal B groaned and grabbed a phone, "Why do all these kids have lighters? Ah yes, get a sub for Mr. Williams." ... "Yes another one." ... "No beer was involved." ... "IT WASN'T MY FAULT!" ... "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ARE QUITING!" ... "THE DINNER PLATE SET WAS MINE FIRST!" ... "I WILL SEE YOU IN DIVORCE COURT!" Principal B slammed the phone down to the stunned student's expressions, "GET BACK TO WORK!"
"On what?" Jubilee asked.
"Uhhh," Principal B stuttered, "Just talk about your feelings or something."
"Eagle of my inner flame ... " St.John got on a knee in front of Amara.
"NOT THOSE FEELINGS!" Principal shouted.
"Oh right. Sorry mate," St.John stood back up, "Feelings ... uh ... Well one time I was little I found this fire ant nest. I always liked fire ants. With a name like that who could hate them. So I cared for those little critters. I endured their love bites and several trips to the hospital. And then my pa hired an exterminator. IT WAS SO HORRIBLE WITH THEIR CRUSHED FLAME RED BODIES LYING STILL! NO LONGER THE EVER MOVING INFERNO THAT WAS SO LIKE THEIR NAMESAKE!" St.John broke down in tears.
"I have never seen this person in my life," Principal B said stunned.
"This is his first day," Amara said, "Isn't he cute when he gets emotional. You should read his books."
"I don't want to," Principal B said before shaming Pietro with his departure.
"What were you saying St.John." Amara asked.
"Oh right Sheila. So my dad killed all those poor lovely fire ants-" St.John restarted his tale.
"BEFORE THAT!" Amara snapped.
"I don't remember." St.John shrugged, "So once dead they never had the motion of a flaming inferno that made them so lovely..."
"Great." Amara sighed.
--------------------
School, First Period, US History Class, Coach Carpenter
with Wanda, Tabitha, Rogue, and Rahne
"Welcome class," The teacher greeted the students, "Who can tell me how to get a principal fired?"
"Uh why?" Rogue asked.
"THE BASTARD HAS BEEN STEALING OUR MONEY FAR TO LONG! WE TEACHERS SHALL NOT BE OPPRESSED! ANARCHY NOW! WE WILL TEAR HIM LIMB FOR LIMB! AND FEED HIM TO THE WOLVES!"
"Hey," Rahne protested.
"THEN STEW HIM WITH VEGETABLES!" The teacher continued to yelled.
"To think I missed this all my years in the asylum," Wanda muttered.
"Wonder what the principal did to her?" Tabitha asked.
"HE HAS CHEATED US TEACHERS FOR TO LONG! DOWN WITH PRINCIPAL B! BURN HIM AT THE STAKE LIKE THE WITCH HE IS!"
"That offends me," Wanda muttered.
"COACH CARPENTER! I CAN HEAR YOU DOWN THE HALL!" Principal B ran into the class.
"GOOD! YOU'RE GOING DOWN LIKE A DEAD ELEPHANT!"
"GET OUT!"
"FIRE!"
"Hello," Principal B said into the phone, "Please get another sub." ... "Yes I'll give you a raise, and tell someone to get the old Secretary off the lawn."
--------------------
School, First Period, AP Statistics, Mr. Halif
with Lance, Kitty, and Kurt
"Hello class," Mr. Halif smiled as the class entered the room, "I am happy to note that my medication dosage has been upped."
"Medication?" Lance asked no one in particular.
"Something about aliens and clinical insanity," Kurt explained.
"Oh." Lance muttered, "Do you hear shouting? It sounds like the principal."
"It is the principal," Kitty said holding her ear, "Weird."
"Today we shall have a more civic orientated class," Mr. Halif said, "Who can tell me the statistical probability of a sit in working in this day and age?"
"Not good," Lance said, "I tried once, ended up with two broken ribs. Maybe if I hadn't tried at an anti mutant rally..."
"I tried once at a religious clinic that was teaching how to recognize demons." Kurt said, "I was protesting them using my picture as a example."
"That's just stupid," Lance said.
"In my defense I was having mild hallucinations after accidentally eating one of Kitty's chocolate covered raisins. Apparently you can mess up cooking even if you don't use an oven."
"HEY!" Kitty yelled.
"Sorry Kitty the truth hurts," Kurt muttered.
"I like your cooking Kitty," Lance smiled.
"Really?" Kitty asked.
'CRACK' Kurt made a whipping motion and noise.
"So you volunteer to test my new recipes. Right?" Kitty asked.
"Of course, anything for you," Lance gulped.
"Lance grow a back bone. Can we get back to the topic on hand. How do I protest the principal?" Mr. Halif asked.
"Simple, blow up his car," Lance suggested.
"LANCE!" Kitty yelled.
"Good idea Lance, you get a hundred in this class." Mr. Halif marked his grade book.
"Really?" Kitty blinked, "In that case you could always burn his house down."
"KITTY THAT IS MEAN!" Mr. Halif yelled, "Though I could burn his office, hundred for you Kitty." And like that various students plotted illegal activities with the teacher; never attracting the attention of a Principal whose headache was growing.
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School, Second Period, Computer Class
with Arcade
"I'm glad I hacked the computers and changed all my classes to Computer class." Arcade said to himself, checking his bank account on line, "And that there is no teacher for this class. Oh lookie I got five hundred more dollars from my scam."
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School, Second Period, Home Ec. Class, Mrs. Cline
with Todd, and Wanda
"Welcome to class," Mrs. Cline greeted her students, "We will be cooking for the 'Fire the Principal' bake sale."
"That is odd," Wanda muttered, "Every teacher seems mad at the Principal."
"I know," Todd muttered, "Hey cutie wanna cook with me?"
"No," Wanda hexed a bowl onto Todd's head.
"I am blinded by love," Todd said as batter dripped down his face.
"Who knew love tasted like raw eggs and milk?" Wanda muttered.
"Love tastes like your underwear," Todd sighed.
"WHAT?" Wanda screamed the lights blowing up.
"That is so romantic," Mrs. Cline cooed.
"WHAT ARE YOU CRAZY?" Wanda snapped.
"Not according to my shrink, he says I just have a non normal thought process." Mrs. Cline said.
"Great." Wanda groaned.
--------------------
School, Second Period, Physics, Mr. Goodtran
with Fred, Amara, St.John, and Jubilee
"My eternal flame. I thought I would never see you again," St.John handed Amara a burning origami rose.
"We saw each other last period," Amara took the rose and let it burn out, "We were separate for three minutes."
"Who knew eternity was three minutes long?" St.John said
"That is so romantic," Amara cooed.
"AMARA HE IS A STALKER!" Jubilee yelled.
"Stalkers are romantic," Amara sighed as St.John folded another rose.
"Some things are just creepy," Good Fred watched as the second rose burned in Amara's hands.
"I see why you like fire so much," Amara said watching the fire burn.
"Hello class," Mr Goodtran walked in a few minutes late, "Would you believe the nerve of him. First stealing my money then calling security on me. Good thing that Officer Lents defected to our side. HE IS GOING DOWN IN A BURNING BALL OF GASOLINE!"
"All the teachers are crazy," Jubilee muttered as a bruised Principal walked in.
"GOODTRAN YOU WILL PAY FOR TURNING THE OFFICER TO YOUR CAUSE!"
"YOU SHOULD PAY THE PEOPLE WILL POLICE TRAINING MORE TO KEEP THEM ON YOUR SIDE! THIS IS WAR! THE UNION WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS!"
"THERE IS NO UNION! I ABOLISHED IT!" The Principal yelled, "YOU WILL HEAR FROM MY LAWYERS!"
"YOU CAN'T AFFORD A LAWYER! BESIDES MOST LEFT AFTER MANY OF THEM DIED AND THE COPS COVERED IT UP!"
"Darn," Mr. Goodtran muttered, "He saw through my bluff."
"GET OUT!"
"YOU CAN'T JUST FIRE ME I HAVE A CONTRACT!"
"OUT OR I GET THE TAZER."
"Fine," Mr. Goodtran left.
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School, Second Period, AP Languages, Mrs. Boontuck
with Lance, Piotr, and Kitty
"Hello class," Mrs. Boontuck greeted them, "Did you know there is something worse than mutants? PRINCIPAL B!"
"Great another one," Kitty groaned, "Why are all the teachers going crazy? I have heard yelling none stop today."
"Kitty my darling," Piotr said kissing Kitty's hand causing her to giggle.
"SHOVE OF TIN MAN!" Lance pushed Piotr away and pulled Kitty into a long passionate kiss, which sounded like a bad vacuum cleaner, leaving Kitty weak kneed
"BREAK IT UP!" Mrs. Boontuck yelled, "IF I DON'T GET ANY NEITHER DO YOU TWO!"
"That explains her behavior," Kitty muttered straightening her clothes.
"Kitty..." Piotr gasped.
"Yes?" Kitty asked.
"You..." Piotr stuttered.
"What?" Kitty asked.
"Eep," Piotr finally eeped falling silent.
"That was odd," Kitty muttered.
"SCORE!" Lance shouted, at which the teacher glared, "Sorry."
"LANCE I AM NOT SOMETHING TO BE SCORED AT!" Kitty screamed.
"My Kitty I would never assume to score at you." Piotr said.
"Of course not, you are a gentleman. Unlike others." Kitty gave him a small kiss and sat down.
Score, Piotr mouthed at Lance behind her back.
"Kitty," Lance gasped.
"Mrs. Boontuck, just checking in." A slightly out of breathe Principal looked in.
"I want to talk about a raise." Mrs. Boontuck said.
"No."
"THAT'S IT I AM ON STRIKE!" Mrs. Boontuck flew out the door.
"Great," Principal B moaned, "Kids, just mess around with each other, their aren't enough subs left." At the Kitty and Piotr and other couples started kissing, "NOT WHAT I MEANT!"
"Sorry," the students coursed.
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School, Second Period, US History Class, Coach Carpenter
with Pietro, Bobby, Kurt, Ray, and Roberto
"Hello students I am your sub, Joe Bob Murphy, call me Billy Bob though," The sub for Coach Carpenter greeted them.
"Where's the teacher?" Kurt asked.
"Last I heard trying to get a angry mob assembled," The teacher shrugged, "Just do your homework for other classes she didn't leave an assignment."
"We have no homework," Bobby said, "All the teachers are on a protest kick."
"Really why is that?" The sub asked.
"The principal has been stealing their money," Pietro said before starting to flirt with a girl, "You're a diamond among garbage."
"Are you saying my friends are garbage?" The girl asked.
"Yes-" Pietro said, "I MEAN NO!"
"JERK!" The girl slugged Pietro in the face.
"Ow," Pietro groaned as he moved away from the girl.
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School, Third Period, Computer Class and Lunch
with Arcade
"This is a good sandwich," Arcade grumbled through a sandwich.
"Do you eat lunch in this room everyday?" The librarian asked.
"Yes,"
"Go to the cafeteria," She sighed.
"No,"
"GO!"
"NO!"
"Wait why am I arguing, I am suppose to be printing up fliers for our protest next week." The librarian left Arcade to his sandwich and next class. Apparently very few kids sign up for Computer class, meaning he was the only kid in a class with no teacher.
Several minutes later Arcade ran from the building when the fire alarm went off.
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School, First Lunch
with Todd, and Duncan
"Yo, I'll have whatever attracts the most bugs," Todd told the lunch lady.
"Here ya go sugar, mystery meat, extra mystery," The lunch lady handed Todd shoulder meat from the missing link between man and monkey.
"I'll have whatever is FDA approved," Duncan said to the lunch lady.
"Here ya go jerk, bag of chips," The lunch lady glared, "You never picked me up for my date."
"Sorry, was doing homework," Duncan said.
"DON'T LIE TO ME! YOU NEVER DO HOMEWORK! YOU STOOD ME UP!" She screamed, as Duncan ran to a table.
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School, Third Period, English II, Mrs. Mandy
with Todd
"Yo wazzup class," Mrs. Mandy said.
"Yo, I thought you hated it when I talked like that?" Todd said.
"Yo, it's all good when protesting the establishment." The teacher smiled.
"Mrs. Mandy did I just hear you say you were protesting the establishment?" The Principal said as he poked his head in the door.
"Yo where's my money?" Mrs. Mandy demanded.
"Not you too. Get out!" Principal ordered.
"Yo, keep up the revolution kids," Mrs. Mandy ran out giving the principal a wet wilily on her way.
"That was mess up, yo," Todd blinked.
"If this keeps up I'll have to cancel school," Principal B moaned, causing a cheer to go up in the class, which was interrupted by a fire alarm, "Everyone out."
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School, Third Period, Algebra I, Mr. Lackey PART I
with Fred
"Sit there and behave," Mr. Lackey ordered before turning back to his phone conference with his fellow teachers.
"Do you mind if I eat your book?" Good Fred asked.
"Go ahead," Mr. Lackey waved a hand, not paying attention.
For the next half hour not a student moved or talked until the lunch bell rang, the only sound was Good Fred's stomach, which was blamed on a bad ceiling fan.
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School, Third Period, Pre-Calc, Mrs. Longtro PART I
with Wanda, and Tabitha
"Class, behave and don't kill each other," Mrs. Longtro said before turning to her phone, "No firecrackers are too expensive, lets try gasoline and a lighter."
"Something is seriously wrong with this school," Wanda muttered.
"Isn't this chaos great?" Tabitha laughed.
"No," Wanda said.
"Better than boring lectures,"
"True,"
"See, it is all about perspective," Tabitha smiled, "I have lots of perspective."
"What do you mean by that?" Wanda asked carefully.
"Oh this and that," Tabitha laughed and mock flicked some dirt off her shoulder.
"Never mind," Wanda groaned and started meditating trying to block the chaos of her classmates out. Only to get interrupted twenty minutes later.
"Okay class go to lunch I have some plotting to do," Mrs. Longtro ushered the class out ten minutes before their lunch started.
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School, Third Period, English III, Coach Coon PART I
with St.John, and Amara
"Amara my love," St.John knelt in front of Amara, "The last five minutes were like an eternity without food or water, or even fire."
"That's so sweet," Amara smiled.
"Creepy, how old is that kid? He acts five," A student muttered to his friend as St.John showed Amara the finer points of spitball making.
"Some new foreign exchange student, he's a frigging' mutie," His friend shrugged.
"No wonder he's so weird," The other student placed his head on his desk and fell asleep.
"Class, despite what you may think I will still educate you," The teacher said smacking the sleeping student over the head.
"Why the Principal is stealing your money." A student said.
"True," The teacher admitted, "But that is no reason to punish you."
"It's no punishment at all." The student said.
"I know, but still, to interrupt your education at such a delicate strange would be hazardous to my Social Security." The teacher said.
"Mate, Social Security's in the bucket, doesn't matter either way." St.John said ignoring a pouting Amara who had been trying to get through his thick head that she wanted a date.
"True," The teacher muttered before being interrupted by the lunch bell.
"Bye." "Bye." "Bye." Various students shouted as a mad rush formed to second lunch.
--------------------
School, Second Lunch
with Fred, Evil Fred, Wanda, Tabitha, Rogue, Amara, St.John, Kurt, Ray, and Amanda
"Kurt wanna go out this Saturday?" Amanda asked her blue boyfriend while sitting by themselves at a table.
"I overheard your pa talking about blue rugs," Kurt said.
"What he doesn't know won't hurt him," Amanda said moving in close to him and rubbing her face on his cheek.
"Stop that you know I can't think when you do that!" Kurt said.
"Is that a yes?" Amanda smiled evilly.
"Yes, I mean no, yes err uh." Kurt stuttered.
"That's a yes." Amanda giggled.
Across the room Tabitha asked "Where's Amara?"
"Probably with John." Ray muttered darkly, obviously jealous to anyone that listened.
"Why did I get stuck in a lunch were the only people who will sit with me are y'all?" Rogue muttered.
"Your lucky?" Tabitha laughed.
"If you want you can sit under your tree," Ray muttered.
"No thanks," Rogue said after seeing Good Fred arguing with Evil Fred under it.
"Where's Amara?" Tabitha asked again searching the crowd.
"Where's John?" Rogue asked.
"I have a bad feeling," Ray muttered.
"Do you smell smoke?" Tabitha asked sniffing, before either of the others could respond a fire alarm went off.
"John," Rogue growled.
--------------------
School, Library
with St.John and Amara
"...And that is why the killer whales are out to over throw the government," St.John finished telling Amara closing the Encyclopedia Americana, and the Hitch Hiker's Guide to the galaxy. (A/N:1)
"How does that answer my question?" Amara asked slightly shocked by the logic behind St.John story.
"What was the question?" St.John asked.
"Are we going out Saturday?" Amara asked the third time since they entered the library.
"Oh, right Sheila, as I said the whales in their attempt to over throw the world built a space probe ..." St.John began.
"STOP! Yes or no answer only, are we going out Saturday?" Amara said.
"I already answered that when talking about the dolphins," St.John said, before wilting under Amara's glare, "Yes."
"Good, now get rid of those books." Amara pointed at the stack of books St.John was using as evidence.
"How?" St.John asked pointing to the ransacked bookshelf.
"Give them to me," Amara grabbed them, set them on fire and placed them in a trash can, catching a curtain on fire, "Oops"
"Pretty," St.John giggled.
"Quick, before someone sees us," Amara grabbed St.John and dragged him outside when the alarm went off, "I am so glade they haven't put the new cameras in."
--------------------
Outside the School
"JOHN WHAT DID YOU DO!" Rogue shouted as St.John and Amara came out holding hands.
"WASN'T ME!" St.John defended.
"It was my fault," Amara blushed.
"Do we want to know?" Tabitha laughed.
"No," Amara said.
"What is life without knowledge?" St.John asked Amara.
"Out of Jail?" Amara said.
"Of right," St.John laughed.
"WHAT DID YOU DO!" Lance ran over to St.John weeping and grabbed his shirt, "I WAS WRITING A POEM TO APOLOGIES TO KITTY WITH! NOW IT IS BURNT!"
"Can I burn him?" St.John asked Amara.
"Go ahead," Amara sighed before ducking behind Rogue to hide from a teacher.
"Fun fun," St.John giggled forming a small fire in his hands.
"YOU ARE CRUEL PERSON!" Lance ran off as a small fire puppy chased him.
"Great, I lost Kitty again," Lance moaned when he reached the Brotherhood.
"Give up on her, she is worthless," Wanda said.
"I NEVER GIVE UP!" Lance shouted, "Except on homework, fights, cooking, washing clothes ..."
"Nasty." Wanda groaned.
"What's wrong with not washing clothes?" Todd asked.
"Notice that we two are the best when it comes to clothes," Pietro said to his sister.
"No me and Arcade are the best, you have bad taste in clothes," Wanda said as she patted Lance's back while he wept for his lost Kitten.
"I am better now. I can rise above this," Lance said as he stood up, "I will just have to work around Pyro, and then destroy him and the Tin man. THE WIZARD OF OZ AND THE HEARTLESS TIN MAN SHALL NOT WIN!"
"So much for being better," Wanda sighed and then smacked Lance, "Behave you are attracting attention."
"Sorry Wanda," Lance sighed, "I need to relax, and rise above this. Come on I have third lunch and haven't eaten."
"Me too," Todd and Pietro chimed in.
"I didn't get to eat," Good Fred complained.
"Look there's Duncan's new car, let's steal it." Lance walked over to Duncan's new car, which had just enough room for all of them. Duncan claimed the room was for cheerleaders.
--------------------
Mexican Restaurant on Main street
"This day has been weird." Wanda muttered watching some teachers protest on the courthouse's steps.
"Yes it has. But once the wizard is reveled to be a man I shall have my Pretty Kitten." Lance said smiling evilly.
"Someone get me water to douse him with," Wanda sighed, a waiter handed her the water, "SNAP OUT OF IT!" She tossed the water onto Lance.
"COLD!" Lance screamed, "What was that for?"
"For being in a Kitty daze," Wanda growled, "Those aren't productive."
"You're right," Lance said, a sudden flash of inspiration hitting him, "I should be plotting, not mourning."
"Great job Wanda," Arcade said.
"Not my fault, glad that you're back to your old self," Wanda said picking up a slab of meat and ripping a chunk off with her teeth.
"What is with these teachers?" Pietro ask.
"Something about their money being stolen," Good Fred said.
"That's what Mr. Halif said that one day before he got arrested." Lance said.
"What are you talking about?" Wanda asked.
"Those few days when y'all were missing," Lance said, "I ran into Mr. Halif and we vandalized Principal B's car and he got arrested for various disturbing the peace charges. He was drunk."
"Okay..." Pietro blinked a few times, "This town is going insane, at first I thought it was messed up because of my dad's various attempts to rule the world, but now..."
"Yes, they can't blame mutants for these problems." Wanda agreed.
"They'll try," Lance muttered, "ALL HUMANS ARE EVIL!"
"I am offended by that remark," Arcade said.
"WITH THE EXCEPTION OF A FEW!" Lance added sitting back down.
"Thank you," Arcade said.
"So..." Todd began searching for a new topic of discussion, "What are we going to do with the rest of the day?"
"Putput?" Arcade suggested after a short pause.
"Good with me." Lance agreed with the others.
"To the stolen-mobile!" Todd laughed as he ran out to the stolen car.
--------------------
Putput Course
"Is that the Brotherhood?" Jean asked Scott as Duncan's stolen car drove up.
"Yes ..." Scott said straining his eyes to see them, "Why are they here?"
"THE B HOOD IS IN THE HOUSE!" Todd shouted jumping out of the moving car.
"What house?" Good Fred asked following him out of the car.
"Figure of speech," Todd said before hopping over to the ticket counter.
"PUTPUT!" Arcade shouted jumping out of a still moving car.
"Make way God coming through," Pietro ran out of the moving vehicle.
"Are we the only sane people here?" Lance asked Wanda.
"It is put put," Wanda shrugged, "But yes we are."
"That's what I thought," Lance sighed parking the car, taking up six spots.
"Nice parking," Wanda commented.
"I've been practicing," Lance said proudly.
"Really?" Wanda blinked.
"Yup, I found a book in Toad's room entitled, 'How to Annoy People' by Flame Lover," Lance said.
"He usually wrights romances," Wanda said not making a move to leave the car, "Wait ... Why were you in Toad's room?"
"You don't want to know," Lance shuddered.
"Whenever someone says that I have a little voice saying 'ask,'" Wanda said.
"Fine, Toad is afraid of what is under his bed, to be frank now that I have seen it I am too." Lance shuddered, "Did you know that spontaneous creation of life was possible?"
"Sure, it happens all the time when my hex powers go wrong. Still what was alive?" Wanda asked.
"Well this old pizza box, and Toad's socks from eighth grade, he gets a new pair a year, some weird green stuff Mystique cooked when I first moved into the house ..." Lance began.
"I don't need to know anymore than that," Wanda laughed.
"You know you have a pretty laugh," Lance said, "You should laugh more."
"Living with Toad and my Brother I don't get that much of a chance, and the only laughter in the Asylum was from the crazies next door. Their laughter could drive a sane person insane. Nearly did." Wanda said looking down.
"COMEING?" Pietro ran up to an open window on the car.
"Yeah keep your panties out of a bunch." Wanda snapped, scarring Pietro off.
"Wow, he didn't argue about that panties comment." Lance blinked.
"He wears a thongs on Thursdays," Wanda shrugged, "Don't ask."
"Like you I have that voice that says 'ask' whenever I am told not to, but unlike you I listen to it." Lance said.
"I should learn to listen to mine," Wanda laughed.
"Yeah," Lance got out and opened her door.
"Thanks Lance." Wanda said.
"Welcome." Lance said and headed for the course.
--------------------
On the 'green'
"Why are they here?" Amara asked St.John.
"To burn something?" St.John asked.
"While that would be funner than this game, I don't think so," Amara said while making a hole in one without looking.
"Yeah, this game is too easy," St.John sunk a hole in one using a fat lady's butt as a back board.
"Let's go," Amara grabbed him and dragged him away.
"Hey Jubjubs," Bobby walked up to Jubilee, "Care for a rose?" He formed an ice rose.
"What is it with all the guys?" Tabitha asked as Jubilee told Bobby in very rude terms that she still remembered the frozen bra from that morning.
"Something about J-rod almost getting a yes from some girl to a dance," Rahne said.
"Fourth wall, Rahne. Fourth wall." Tabitha said, "You know the saying, 'The world is but a stage,' if you break the fourth wall on that stage people lock you in the Loony Bin. You don't want Wanda as a room mate do you?"
"Good point," Rahne agreed, "So want to go beat the guys again?"
"Of course," Tabitha laughed, "RAY! ROBERTO! SAM! READY TO LOSE AGAIN!"
"Playing with time bombs should be against the rules," Roberto moaned pulling plastic splinters from his arm.
"At least she didn't get your pants," Sam moaned.
"She does that all the time," Ray pointed out.
"Yeah the back. She did my front," Sam groaned holding said side of his body.
"Ow," Ray winced in sympathy.
"Yes ow," Sam glared at the uninjured guy not noticing the two girls run up behind him.
"He guys didn't you hear me calling?" Tabitha asked sweetly leaning over Sam, causing him to blush.
"No sorry we must have been distracted," Roberto said pulling a large splinter out.
"By what?" Rahne asked.
"Life, the universe, everything." Ray grunted.
"Distracted ..." Sam blinked as Tabitha moved about.
"Tabs your going to turn Sam red permanently if you don't get off him," Rahne laughed.
"Oh right," Tabitha said sliding into the seat beside him, "Something wrong Sammy?"
"Nothing wrong," Sam blinked a few times.
"Then why are you holding your hands there?" Tabitha asked sweetly patting his hands, causing him to yelp in pain.
Meanwhile at the concession stand. "I'll have this and that and that. And that. Oh and that. What is that? Give it to me anyway." Good Fred ordered his food.
"How are you going to pay for this?" The person asked.
"Pay?" Good Fred blinked, "Put it on Duncan's tab."
"Right Duncan's tab." The man did so, "Here you go Mr. Mathews."
"Are we going to actually play?" Lance asked the Brotherhood when they finally met up, after Pietro got rejected by three girls, Todd exterminated the bugs, Good Fred got candy, and Wanda fixed her make up.
"Yes I stole the balls and clubs." Pietro handed out the equipment.
"Let's play." Todd laughed.
--------------------
Hole #2
"Okay the score is," Wanda read, "Pietro one thousand."
"WHAT!" Pietro shouted.
"When you threw that tantrum and started swinging like crazy you got lots of swings, I only counted half of them." Wanda said, "Good Fred ... disqualified, don't eat your ball again."
"Sorry," Good Fred blushed, "It looked like a jaw breaker."
"Todd ... " Wanda read, "HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET A FROG TO DO THAT!"
"Well if you ask them nicely," Todd said.
"Forget it," Wanda groaned, "The voice is saying not to ask."
"Crazy," Pietro whispered to Arcade.
"Arcade," Wanda said, "Stick to video games, physical sports aren't your thing."
"Don't have to be so rude about it," Arcade muttered.
"Lance ..." Wanda said, "Using your powers to shake the ball in is against the rules."
"You used yours," Lance pointed out.
"True," Wanda admitted.
"Face it we all suck at this game," arcade groaned.
"I suck at nothing," Pietro bragged.
"Say nothing, it is to easy," Lance groaned
Wanda leaned over and whispered "Thursday Thong" into his ear.
"WANDA! I WAS TRYING TO FORGET THAT!" Lance groaned.
"Forget what?" Wanda smiled innocently, which looked very odd on her face.
"NO! GET IN THE BLASTED HOLE!" Scott screamed from across the course.
"JEAN STOP USEING YOUR POWERS!" Rahne shouted.
"YOU TWO BREAK IT UP!" The owner yelled at Amara and St.john as the two tumbled out from behind a scorched plant.
"Why is it that the X-men ruin any place we go to have fun?" Todd asked watching the X men fight each other.
"Revenge for us ruining their fun," Lance sighed.
"Figures," Arcade grunted.
"Karma," Wanda sighed, "She's such a witch."
"This coming from a witch?" Pietro asked.
"Quiet mortal," Wanda hexed him away.
"Ow." Pietro groaned from onto of Tabitha and Sam, who Tabitha was 'nursing' back to health by the concession stand.
"I need a new code name if people keep making those jokes," Wanda sighed let's leave, it's nearly supper time, "I want to try this new steak house."
"Aren't you a jew?" Lance asked.
"So?" Wanda answered with a question.
"Why do you eat meat," Lance asked, at which Wanda just smiled and laughed.
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Steak house
"This is Trish speaking," A TV blared out its speakers as various Football fans tried to find the remote to change it, "A local put put golf course burned down, blew up, froze, gained several new holes in its walls ... And has reports of rabid wolves? Okay that is just freaky, anyone want to tell me why this town is going down the toilet? In other news the day after the school burned down and was rebuilt the library burned up and the teachers are on strike protesting the Principal stealing their money. This is Trish asking why she didn't take that job reporting overseas."
"Odd," Wanda commented after the football fans found the right button on the remote and changed it.
"Really odd," Lance muttered eating a salad.
"This place has the best steaks," Wanda commented, hexing Arcade away from her peanuts.
"WHEE! I love how they let you throw their nuts on the ground." Todd laughed and threw a hand full up in the air.
"Me to!" Pietro threw his nuts down.
"What a waste," Good Fred sighed eating his nuts, shell and all.
"So what are we doing tomorrow? We have no school thanks to the strike." Lance asked Wanda ignoring his other house mates.
"Do we ever plan more than an hour ahead?" Wanda asked.
"No," Lance said.
"Then I don't know what we will do," Wanda shrugged, "We need light bulbs."
"Right, we'll get those tomorrow." Lance nodded, "I say we ditch these guys here."
"Agreed," Wanda said as Good Fred gave a waiter a heart attack.
"Guys I'm headed to the bathroom." Wanda told the others.
"Me to," Lance stood up and went to the car with Wanda.
"When do you get off?" Pietro asked a waitress.
"Never," The waitress ran from him.
--------------------
Brotherhood house
"NO JIM DON'T!" The TV screamed as Wanda and Lance watched on from the couch.
"I hate soaps," Lance said.
"Me too," Wanda changed it to a horror film.
"Better," Lance sighed leaning back to watch.
"YOU LEFT US!" Pietro ran, followed by the other members who had to dispose of the stolen car on their neighbor's lawn.
"You guys were playing with nuts." Lance pointed out.
"SO!" Pietro snapped, "I refuse to talk to you two, I am going to bed to get my beauty sleep."
"Me too!" Good Fred followed Pietro up the stairs.
"WHY WANDA!" Todd cried as he walked by.
"What's their problem? Obviously you two wanted to be alone." Arcade laughed and walked up the stairs.
"Odd," Lance said.
"Agreed," Wanda said.
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Parts Unknown, Asia
"Okay, everyone gets one pea," The army cook handed out the rations.
"This campaign is a failure," Jamie #3 sighed.
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End
Author Notes:
1: There is a long story. Suffice to say, never leave three band kids in the library, and don't place the Holy Hitching Books by the encyclopedias.
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