CHAPTER 14: Trust
A few more weeks have passed and it was now January 24th and Punk was due for a visit with Colt again. "Mr. Cabana?" Punk asked while knocking on the door. Colt motioned for Punk to enter in his room and to close the door behind him. "Hey Colt" Punk said as he took a seat. "How are things going for you?" "They're great Phil. Thanks for asking" said Colt. "And how you been doing?" "I'm great" said Phil. "I'm still looking for a job and I'm following all of my rules and everything."
"I know you are" said Colt. "And I really must say that I am surely proud of you and how far you have come." "Yeah I just wish that I had that job by now" said Punk. "Because I'd really like to get back to making my own money and not having to wait for a $300 check that comes for me once a month from the government since that's no way near enough the amount I need to support myself with." "I know the feeling" said Colt. "Jobs are extremely hard to come by." "Yeah" said Punk. "Especially if you're a convicted felon."
"Have a little faith" said Colt. "I'm sure that you'll be able to be to find something soon." "Well I surely hope so" said Punk. "So tell me something Phil" said Colt. "How's your therapy sessions going along with Dr. Mendez?" "Oh well they're great too" said Punk. "We're really making some headway." "A hmm…" said Colt as he began to take some notes. "I'm just glad…real glad that I'm beginning to see myself in a much better place than I've ever been in my entire life" said Punk.
Colt nodded as he continued taking down notes. "So um Colt can I ask you something?" asked Punk. "It's something that I've been meaning to ask you for quite a while." "Oh, what is it?" Colt asked as he looked back up at him. "Why did you really give me that metro card last month? It's not like we're friends or anything" said Punk. "Well Phil I must admit that I'm a little bit hurt by that comment" said Colt. "I tend to try to make a bond with all of my parolees as I feel that the better relationship they have with their officers, the more likely it'll be that they would be more willing to put in the work to maintain their newly changes lives."
Despite what Colt was saying, Punk knew that there was more to the story. "No…" he said. "There's, there's something else to this isn't it?" "More? What more can there be?" said Colt. "Look man. I know that you're about something" said Punk. "After all you do work for the feds and then…that comment about you knowing everything about me? I mean what in fuck was that man?" "Phil now you know that I'm not at liberty to discuss everything with you" said Colt.
"Oh so what you can come up here and try to pretend to "be my friend" by getting me a monthly transportation pass?" said Punk. "Look I know a lot more about you then you could ever realize" said Colt. Punk began to become even more agitated. "What do you mean you know everything about me?" he asked. "What the hell are you talking about!?"
"If I could tell you, believe me I could" said Colt. "Listen here chump if you don't start talking I'll start walking and when I say walking I mean that I'll walk my ass all the way down to my lawyer Bryan Danielson's office and hopefully he can maybe help shed some light on the situation we have at hand here" said Punk.
"Phil…you don't understand" said Colt. "Colt there's nothing to understand here" said Punk. "Except the fact that I don't like you breathing down my neck when I've already served my Goddamn time so either you put up or shut up." Colt slammed his fist down onto his desk. "Look" he said sternly. "I am also an undercover agent. I cannot just willing up and go dishing out information about myself…especially-"
"Who? To the likes of me? A lowlife? A nobody? A thief? A felon? Do you think that you're better than me just because you're sitting in that chair while I'm in this one? Well I'll tell you something man. You're not" said Punk.
Colt took a deep breath. "Look" he said. "All I can tell you for now is that Colt Cabana isn't my real name." "If it's not than what is?" said Punk. "I can't tell you…at least now" said Colt. "Well whatever your name is buddy I'm going to go right now down to my lawyer's office to make a complaint about you" said Punk. "I'm sorry Phil but there's nothing for you to make a complaint about" said Colt. "Because all he's going to tell that an undercover agent isn't obligated to inform you of anything other than what is necessary to be used for their cases."
"That's a whole bunch of bullshit and you know it" said Punk. "Either you give me your name or I'll go see my lawyer." "Mr. Brooks you would be wasting your time" said Colt. Punk let out a frustrated sigh. "Alright then" he said. "I'll make you a deal. Either you tell me who you really are or I'm calling my lawyer right now to file a suit for invasion of privacy." "Mr. Brooks you can't do either of those" said Colt. "I'm not invading your privacy. I already know your records."
"You know far more than what's on my records and you and I both know that so why don't we save ourselves the time and cut bullshit out and you start telling me because you and I both know that in order for you to be acting the way that you do…" Punk paused as all of the pieces started to come at once.
"That…that day!" he said. "That day! When you handed me a metro card…it was just after I had finished a phone call-"
"With your therapist. Dr. April J. Mendez" said Colt. "Yes Phil you're right. I do know a lot more than what's on paper…I know about you and her." "What do you know about me?" Punk heatedly asks. "Know what? That you're sleeping around with your therapist?" Colt chuckled.
"How…how in the fuck do you know that?" Punk angrily asks. "Relax…I won't tell anyone. Besides I've been around a long time to notice these things" said Colt. "I wasn't hired by the feds for nothing you know?" "But you're like…you're like 2 years younger than me" said Punk. "How do you know that?" asked Colt. "I do a little research too" said Punk. "I wasn't a career criminal for all of those years, you'd think that I'd learned to not only be street smart but people smart as well. It keeps your ass out of a grave a little longer…you should try it."
Colt shook his head in disbelief. "Now either you're gonna start telling me stuff that I wanna know or I'll tell stuff that you don't want others to know" said Punk. "You have nothing on me" said Colt. "If so you would have already told me my name." "Shit" Punk thought to himself. "He's totally calling my bluff right now."
"Look. I'm not going to tell on you and Ms. Mendez" said Colt. "That's not my job here. My job is to keep you on the straight and arrow and if she's making a huge impact on that then who am I to try and stop it?" "How can I trust you?" asked Punk. "How can trust you if not only you're prying through my personal life, but you're not who you say you really are."
"Because Phil you need to" said Colt. "Why do I have some sort of target over my head or something?" Punk asked. "No, no of course not" said Colt. "It's just that I see something in you and I wanted to be keeping an extra eye on you." "So what you stalked me and you wire tapped my phone calls?" asked Punk.
"It's not what it looks like" said Colt. "I wanted to make sure that you were really serious about wanting to make a change…I've lost so many of my parolees before, some full of so much potential…and well some not but I wanted to make sure that I didn't lose you back into the system…I knew that you could still be rehabilitated and get back into society. I knew that you could. I know that you can."
"Ok" said Punk as he continued to give Colt a serious look. "Then tell me what your real name is." "Alright" said Colt. "If it'll get you to trust me then so be it. My name is Scott Colton. "And because you were involved in a federal case, I had to use a pseudo name because of my affiliation with them." "This is unbelievable" said Punk. "I…still don't understand any of this." "I'm not supposed to use my real name when I'm work" said Colt. "I don't know who my parolees are associated with and I can't risk my life." "So what you're telling me is that the only reason that you were essentially probing into my life is because you wanted to be sure that I was still on the right path?" asked Punk.
"Yes Phil" said Colt. "Sc-" Colt shook and waved his hands "no" to stop him. "Colt…Um…how, how much exactly do you um…know about me?" asked Punk. "Enough" said Colt. "That you love this girl and that she obviously loves you too." "We…we actually haven't told each other that" said Punk. "We're wanting to take things slow because…well you know?" "Oh yeah trust me I know" said Colt. "So are you gonna tell anybody man?" asked Punk. "Because I'd die if she'd ever lose her job because of me."
"No, your relationship with her isn't my concern. What is my concern is your relationship with yourself and society" said Colt. Punk gave a sigh. "Well…I still think that this is a complete violation of my privacy" he said. "I'm only doing what I feel is best" said Colt. "Wait a minute" said Punk. "If you work for feds…how do I not know that you're not going to really tell on April?" "Because I see that she's clearly making you happy. She's obviously a good influence on you…it may be unconventional…but again if that's who you need in your life to keep me out of my sight in a certain light then so be it" said Colt.
Punk nodded. "And I'll put it to you like this way" said Colt. "I promise not to tell just as long as you promise not to blow my cover." "Agreed" said Punk. "Just…just stop prying so much because now I feel a little weird." "Ok than that's settled" said Colt. "So let's continue discussing your other accomplishments you have been doing so far."
"I'm not…I'm not sure that I want to at all anymore" said Punk. "Right now I feel sort of weird." "I understand. Trust me I do" said Colt. "And I'll know that you'll need some time." "Yeah" said Punk. "I will." He was very confused as to why Colt was acting this way with him. Sure he understood that Colt wanted his parolees to have better results and that he would do anything in his power to do so but why? Why express so much interest into someone that he didn't know. It was different than that with AJ because theirs was a romantic connection but Colt? Who knew what that was?
"So can I ask you something?" asked Punk. "Sure" said Colt. "Go ahead." "Tell me why should I trust you?" asked Punk. "I mean all my life I've trusted people and so far the only ones who haven't let me down is my lawyer and April. What makes you any different than the rest of those who've hurt me?" "Phil" said Colt. "Trust takes time to gain from anyone and I hope maybe in time we can grow to be associates because it looks like you're gonna need them."
"But what if I don't want you?" asked Punk. "Phil, we're going to be stuck together for the next 7 and a half years. I'm sure a friendship is bound to happen, don't you?" said Colt. "They've happened before with those who have survived on my watch…you've got so much potential to function in the real world and I won't let it go to waste. I refuse to and so should you." Punk continued to listen in silence.
"Here I wanna show you something" said colt. He reached into his drawer and picked out a photo to show him. "Do you see here Phil?" he asked. "Their names are Frankie, Todd and Matthew. These are one of the few I've managed to save using my new approach. These are the lucky ones and yes I'll admit that some of us have lost contact over the years but yes Phil at one time we were all acquaintances, friends even and yes you're right…we don't have to be friends but I was actually hoping at the end of this journey that you'd at least consider it."
"And again why would I?" asked Punk. "Because Phil like I've seen in your profile, you've-"
"What? Never had any friends before? Is that it?" Punk angrily asked. "Now listen here Colt. You're just my parole officer and we're never going to be friends. I don't need your fucking little charity ok? I'll do just fine on my own." "That's what the ones who didn't make it said" said Colt. "And I'd really hate to see you not make it…I don't think that April and Mr. Danielson or whoever else is on your support team would like to."
"You leave April out of this" Punk angrily said. "I'm sorry Phil but I can't" said Colt. "Someone needs to remind you of the reality of your situation, whether you want to hear it or not." Punk sighed as Colt continued. "And you want to know something else Phil?" "No not really" said Punk. "What a shame" said Colt. "Because I was going to tell you is that sometimes trust isn't a bad thing…it can be a very helpful thing. Think about that and I'll see you later."
Punk got up and left and as he did, he was full of mixed emotions that ranged from anger and skepticism to plain and simple confusion. He got that Colt wanted them to have a bond or something in order to help him but because of Punk's past he simply wasn't ready to trust someone who had friendship potential…he didn't even know the meaning of what that was to him anymore. Colt on the other hand knew that his story with Punk wasn't over as he vowed to continue fighting for his rehabilitation into society.
He made his way to the door and when he did, he turned around to face him once again. "By the way Colt" he said. "I'm not sleeping with her yet. I care about her…and you're right I do love her and hopefully she loves me too, not that that's any of your business but yeah I love her and I'm not going to be a failure anymore. I'm not going to screw up anymore…I am changing. It's slow but yes I am changing and I have no one but April to owe that to and I'll be damned if I let anything take her away from me…including myself." With that he turned around and continued walking away.
A/N: Aww he loves her! :-) Thanks for all of your reviews so far and please keep doing so :-)