A MOTHER'S LOVE
CHAPTER 14
The sound of David's screams echoed through the whole house as Rosie threw open his bedroom door and rushed into the room. Rachel had warned them that David was prone to nightmares but this was the first one he'd had since he'd come to live with them. He was thrashing around on the bed, tangled in the covers, and swinging his arms as he found the invisible demons only he could see. A fine sheen of sweat covered his face and his features were contorted with pain and fear.
"David! David!" Rose said as she sank down on the edge of the bed beside him. She reached out to shake his shoulder, trying to pull him out of the dream that held him captive. "David! Wake up! It's only a dream!"
David's eyes flew open but he still appeared to be confused and disoriented, not fully awake. With a heart wrenching cry, he threw himself into his Aunt's arms and buried his face against her shoulder. "Mama!" he whimpered. Rose gently rubbed his back and whispered soothing words of comfort as she tried to stop the trembling she could feel running through the slender body. She could feel the wetness of David's tears on her shoulder as she held him close. His breath was coming in short gasping pants as he struggled to drawn enough oxygen into his lungs. Finally, after several long torturous minutes, his breathing slowed down and evened out as he seemed to regain control of his composure. But he remained in the comfort of his Aunt's embrace, reluctant to break the soothing contact between them.
Rose smiled faintly as she ran her fingers through those thick soft curls. When she was younger, she had suffered from night terrors and she knew how debilitating they could be, emotionally and mentally. She could only hope that David would outgrown his tendency towards nightmares as he got older. She felt David shifting positions, pulling away from her. "I'm sorry." He sniffed in an embarrassed voice as if he had just now realized where he was.
"There's nothing to be sorry for." Rose told him, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder and squeezing gently. "You were having a bad dream. Do you wanna talk about it?"
"No…." David said with a snort. "Like you said…it was just a dream."
"You should try to get some sleep. You have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. Maybe they'll finally take that cast off."
"I hope so." David mumbled as he lay back down and pulled the blankets up around his shoulders. He turned on his left side with his back to his aunt, dismissing her.
Rose stood up, then impulsively leaned down and kissed her nephew's cheek. "I love you, David." She said "Sleep well. No more bad dreams." She left the room, closing the door softly behind her, and made her way back to her own bed.
David lay there staring into the darkness, watching the shadows on the wall. He still felt shaky from the dream. This time he had relived the attack by the other boys on the roof in every excruciatingly vivid detail. Only this time when they threw him off the roof, he didn't get up and walk away. He died there in that alley and nobody even cared.
His life had changed so drastically in the past eight weeks. In a short span of time, he had been ripped away from everything familiar to him, from his home and his family, and suddenly found himself in a totally alien environment, living with an Aunt and an Uncle that were virtually strangers to him. And the only friend he had here was a street wise teenage black hustler that he was sure his Aunt and Uncle would never approve of.
School would be starting in a few weeks and that was bound to bring a new set of problems for him to deal with. He doubted if a Jewish wise guy from Brooklyn was going to fit in very well at his new school. David had never liked or disliked school He just went because he had to. But schoolwork did not come easily for him. It took him longer to remember stale dry facts that he didn't want to remember in the first place. He learned better by doing things than by reading about them.
He had resigned himself to the fact that his mother wouldn't be letting him come back home anytime soon but it still hurt. It hurt deep inside, a lingering wound on his very soul. Although he knew that it was his own behavior that had prompted her to send him away, he still felt as if she had given him away to strangers because she just didn't want him around anymore. And why did she have to send him to California? He had numerous relatives back in New York that he could have stayed with. Rose and Al were the only two members of the extended Starsky clan that lived so far away. Ma had told him that he would understand when he got older but that didn't help him any right now. The pain of what he saw as her betrayal and abandonment combined with the terrible memories of his father's murder only kept the rage deep inside of him simmering, looking for an outlet, a target to focus his anger on. Finally, he fell into a restless sleep.
The days passed slowly filled with the same routine. He got up in the mornings, ate his breakfast and then spent most of the morning helping Rosie do chores around the house. His Uncle came home for lunch and then David went back to his garage with him for the afternoon and did chores there. Then they went home around six o'clock in the evening for supper. David ate and spent the rest of the evening until bedtime watching TV. The only break in his routine was on Friday nights when he called his mother and talked to her and Nicky for an hour or more.
At least, the cast had finally been removed from his leg. The ankle had healed but it was still tender and had pins inserted in the bone. The doctors said he would always have trouble with that ankle. Because of the way it had been broken, it would always be weaker than his right one and he would be more prone to spraining it or even breaking it again. But being without the cast increased his mobility and gave him back his freedom of movement.
Slowly, he was adjusting to his new life but he still held back, keeping his emotions closely guarded. Outwardly, he appeared quiet and slightly withdrawn while inwardly, he was screaming out for someone to care about him and what he was going through. His only refuge was the solitude of his room. He started keeping a journal, writing down the feelings in those pages that he couldn't bring himself to share with anyone. He poured out his loneliness, his fears, and his anger at the world in general, finding a small sense of peace at being able to write them down on paper. He hid the journal under his mattress away from prying eyes. It was far too private and personal to allow anyone else to find it.
He was cordial and polite to his Aunt and his Uncle but he rarely laughed anymore and his smiles were forced instead of spontaneous. But his Aunt and Uncle were patient and loving, chipping away slowly at the wall he had built around himself and giving him the space he needed to adjust and accept them as his new guardians. And even if David himself didn't realize it, Al was starting to fill the void in his life that had been left by his father's brutal murder. But they were not his parents and they didn't try to be. It was a long slow process but they were all getting to know one another and fitting the pieces together to make living together in the same house possible.
Al encouraged and shared David's interest in cars and in sports. Since Al owned his own garage, David was learning the basics of auto mechanics and they spent Sunday afternoons watching sports on TV. A few times, Al even took David to the stadium to watch a real ballgame. Rosie soon learned all of David's favorite foods and took pleasure in preparing them for him, although she often found herself wondering where on earth he put all the food he consumed. Rosie and Al delighted in catching glimpses of David in those unguarded moments when he let his true nature show through. They knew that he had been severely traumatized by the move to Bay City combined with the vicious attack that had left him injured and his father's murder before that. But they vowed to be there for him if he would only let them.
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