CHAPTER FOURTEEN
A Broken Heart
Behind his closed eyelids, specks of light danced. Flashes of golden things, shimmering and flitting about, their enchanted movements pulling him from his sleep.
Ace woke up to the sound of her singing.
The space next to him was empty, and the room was warm with heat floating from the bathroom. He could hear Piper in the shower, crooning a slow dreamlike tune, and the notes slithered across the balmy air and snagged his heart.
He remained on his back, listening and seeing the colours of her voice. Remembered how strongly offended he was hearing it that first time - back on that fateful day in the market square. This time the colours swirled around each other like a waltz, flashing gold and blue, particles of magic that held all the various tones of affection. Endless longing, pining for a lost lover in the wide spaces of life, feeling entirely lonesome.
He wondered if she sang this tune often, or if she sang at all, during those first days apart.
Piper sounded so mournful he wanted to go to her. Get out of bed, and hold her naked under the shower. But he didn't. Singing was a private matter, and if she chose to express some hidden emotion in the seclusion of the bath, he would let her. And if in the future he found himself in the presence of her vocal nature, he would be thankful just to hear it.
He would never tire listening to her sing.
The water stopped, and all was silent. Piper must have finished bathing. There were occasional snatches of humming, but nothing like before. The squeak of the tap, and then she was brushing her teeth.
Ace would have to acquire a new toothbrush before the day was through. A covetous thrill ran down his spine; soon, he could dispose of Aerrow's toothbrush for good. Soon, Piper would be all his once more, and soon, they could start making a family as promised.
"Morning," she greeted him, placing a quick kiss to his head. "Sleep well?"
"Good enough." He sat up in bed, considered her towelled form and the way she rummaged through the dresser, pulling out various clothes. "Going somewhere?"
"Work," Piper declared, staring at a white blouse before tossing it back into the drawer. "Only for a few hours in the morning. I have to give Pepper instruction on what project files to bring to the convention, and discuss which members of the board to avoid. She's going in my place alone, and honestly I think she's loving the idea."
"Pepper? That short woman who keeps giving me dirty looks?"
She chuckled. "Yup. You just don't like her because you two are so alike. Both of you want me around all the time, and you're both control freaks." She wriggled into a pair of dark brown leggings and a green tunic. Gathered her hair over a shoulder.
"Are you calling me pretty? I'm not pretty. I'm a man."
"I'll tell her you said that! She'll never believe it."
These two had a mutual passive-aggressive relationship going on.
Whenever Ace visited his wife at the lab, Pepper was always there to deny visiting rights. Said he was upsetting Piper's carefully planned schedule, which was unproductive, and it was the third time in two weeks he brought her boss back late from lunch, after promising the first time he would return her in a timely manner.
The man was a nuisance, and despite her status as Piper's personal assistant, continued to disregard her so-called rules.
The first year Piper took Ace to the company's winter holiday party, Pepper discovered his dislike of hard candies and all things tartan. Naturally, all her subsequent presents took the form of a gift basket filled with the things Ace hated, and a note that simply said 'To Piper's Jerk Husband. Best Wishes. From Pepper'.
Ace sent her a box of putrid-smelling skunk cabbage, Lysichiton americanus, in return. He knew just how much she liked flowers.
Piper screeched in laughter when her assistant swore she was going to commit bloody murder.
"There's leftover soup in the fridge, and I was thinking of broccoli-cheese casserole tonight."
"I thought you said only a few hours?"
Piper cleared her throat, she had said that and meant it, but there was another matter that couldn't be ignored. It had been eight days since his return, and while Pepper knew she required off-time for personal matters, the Storm Hawks were still under the impression she remained sick with the flu. She feared Aerrow would turn stubborn and come uninvited to the house, and then it would be a disaster.
"I've been thinking about how to break it off with Aerrow."
The atmosphere in the room suddenly became colder. The woman fiddled with her hands, and with rueful eyes, connected her gaze with his. Ace swallowed, exhaled, then beckoned her to come to him. He could forgive her for being with Aerrow, she had chosen him after all. In his arms, Piper buried her face into his barrel of his chest, her damp tresses spreading everywhere.
After a time, he whispered words against her hair. "What are you going to tell him?"
She sighed. "I don't know. I thought about telling him over the phone, but that's a coward's way out. I thought maybe I'd show him first, I plan to wear my wedding ring again, if that's okay with you."
He nodded silently.
"I saw the leather thong with your key and ring. You kept it."
"How else was I going to get inside the house?" He joked lightly.
"Point taken. Anyways, I was going to do a test run first, see if anyone at the lab would notice." By this time Piper was fully snuggled into him while he deliberately petted her hair.
"Pepper would see it right away."
"I know. I plan to tell her everything before I see the Storm Hawks. Well, everything except the crystal." She knew she couldn't tell anyone about Lenore, that was a given. The goldstone necklace lay against the hollow of her neck, warm from her body heat, and its presence soothed her.
Silence fell. Lost in her thoughts, Piper wished there could be another way to break the monumental news.
"I could go with you," he offered. "Take off some of the heat."
Piper shook her head. "No, you're gonna stay in bed and get better. I can do this on my own."
A gentle hand turned her face upwards. "You can do it. I believe in you. You've faced worse odds. And I'll be here, waiting for your return."
A sentimental look crossed her face and impulsively she kissed him. "I'm so glad you're home. I missed you so much."
"I missed you too."
Aerrow wanted to die.
It would have been easier if someone had taken out his kneecap, or severed an arm, or both his legs because those were all physical pain – but this, this was inside. He couldn't get rid of it and there was no medicine for this kind of ache. Behind the safety of his apartment, he cried.
Just when he thought things were going right, the Dark Ace had to come back from the dead.
Piper had come to him, looking terribly guilty and worried as she landed her heliscooter in The Condor's hangar bay, and hesitated when the team appeared to greet her. In the bright light of the midday sun, the ring on her hand glittered purposely, and Aerrow's blood froze.
No.
No way in all of Atmos could this be happening right now.
He stumbled to the kitchen and pulled out a can of beer. Aerrow wasn't a heavy drinker, but if alcohol promised to take some of the edge off, he'd stop by the nearest liquor store and buy everything he could get his hands on.
He wondered where she was now, if she was holding him, stroking his black hair, cooking his food to regain his health. If Piper had kissed him yet, or if they already had sex. If she forgot about him completely and rushed into his arms. If she pulled her husband (he wanted to spit out the word and stab it) to their bed, undressed him, and made love to him through the night.
He imagined the various expressions on her face as his sworn rival set her naked body alight. If she screamed when she came, if she moaned his name over and over. If she shuddered in his arms like she did with him. God, Piper. Why? If the Dark Ace touched her body, a body that he knew himself, and worshipped and adored.
His mind was killing him.
His chest seized so tightly Aerrow thought it would be a blessing if his heart suddenly gave out, and his team found him alone and cold, dead in the middle of the floor. It would be a kindness to expire quickly.
There was an obtuse, brainless hope she would come to her senses, reject the Dark Ace and choose him; but Aerrow knew her personality, and he knew he was in the odds.
Legally, the Dark Ace was husband, and he the ex-boyfriend. Piper never did put in the papers for Substituted Service that would declare the other man officially deceased. Officially, they were still married.
The other man had presented her with a diamond ring, while Aerrow had only flowers and memories. There was no jewelry, it would have been in the future, a gift for some special anniversary if their relationship had progressed that far.
Aerrow groaned dejectedly, sliding to the floor like a boneless doll. Everything he had done for her, with her, the Dark Ace had been there first.
He was never going to have Piper.
He stayed away, far beyond her reach, stunned and bitter from her words.
"I thought... maybe with everything that happened between us, I should leave the team for a while."
Aerrow's face contorted into a visage of pain, and she winced inwardly. There was no gentle way to do this, and if she was around for team missions, her company would only cause him further harm. She knew him to be an emotional man, driven by passion and spirit, but those virtues weren't helping him now.
"You... You want to leave us?"
(You're leaving me.)
"No. Yes. I mean-" Piper struggled to find the words, "-I think I shouldn't be around you."
I wish you could find someone else to love. You deserve someone. Just not me.
(You mean, If I wasn't around you anymore.)
She stood so close and yet she had never felt so far away. A yawning chasm between them that sucked all the good memories into the abyss and left only bitterness.
Aerrow, despite reason, still wanted to cross that space and pull her into his arms. Make her forget. Love only him. He hated her for doing this to him, and hated himself for thinking he even had a chance.
He swallowed hard. He'd give anything not to be here, not to hear those awful words fall from her lips as if the past few months meant nothing. He was dying inside, he could feel it. He was worth so much more, he could and would show her his worth, if only she could see it. If only she tried.
He had made it better for her, when the Dark Ace was gone. He had made her laugh when all she used to do was cry. He couldn't understand why she was still hung up on him, when he had been there for her.
"How long?" His voice shook a little; he struggled to be calm. Inhaled severely through his nose and exhaled through his mouth. He could do this. Just hang on a little bit longer and then get off this goddamn ship. Go home. Sulk. Wallow. Pretend this was Storm Hawk business.
They were experts at this, lying with their faces and killing themselves inside.
"How long will your absence be, officer?"
The formality hurt. It would have hurt less if he had just punched her in the face. But no, she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of bringing her down. She commanded more respect than that. She was married, the diamond ring on her finger once more.
Piper should have said no when he asked her out, if this was the end result. But it was too late for regrets. They had known each other for far too long, and their lines were crossed. They tripped and fell into this horrid mess. He didn't get to stumble away so easily. This was hurting her too.
"I don't know, sir. Three weeks. I officially request a three week absence from my position as navigator and crystal tactician of the Storm Hawks." It was easy to lie when all your feelings were dead inside.
"I'll give you a month," he mocked. "Maybe two if you ask nicely."