A/N: Things get real here. I actually got depressed for a few days after writing this chapter. A fair warning, things get heavy here.

On an unrelated note: if anyone knows how to write tank battles without making into a chronicle, please PM me. Someone who knows what they're talking about and has an imagination of tactics and strategies. I'm only focusing on the character development. Either I get someone to write the battles for me, or I'm streamlining it.

That being said...yeah.

Oarai Girl's Academy – Sensha-do Training Grounds – Afternoon

The news of Oarai's victory over Glorianna reinvigorated the school. There were flyers and posters everywhere, singing the praises and victories of the Sensha-do team. All the while, they took it in stride. Not only did they had the opportunity to come out on top, they re-established their dominance in the Sensha-do world.

With the Nationals only months away, the team looked for every practice opportunity that they could get. And it just so happened that Pravda was inviting them for a match. When Ami mentioned this to the team, they were more than thrilled.

Rabbit team was very excited. "We get to beat Pravda again!" Azusa screamed.

"Yeah, but we barely won last time," noted Ayumi.

"How?" Yuki asked.

Aya answered her matter-of-factly. "We were driven to a corner and given a choice to surrender, remember? If Katyusha wasn't such a big head, then we would have lost."

But there were others that were less than enthusiastic.

Caesar sighed. "Does this mean we have to go through one of Pravda's ego trips?"

"If you only mean Katyusha, then yeah," Oryo replied.

"Like John Wilkes Booth in the States?"

"Or Napoleon Bonaparte from France, perhaps?" added Erwin.

"Or like Emperor Nero of Rome?" Caesar said loudly.

"THAT'S IT!"

"Of course, that would be it." Rirko was listening in on some of the conversations. He turned to Ami. "What are they talking about anyway? Who Katyusha?"

Ami smiled. "Katyusha is Pravda's Sensha-do commander. A strategist in her own right, she specializes in ambushes."

"So, a dirty player?"

"Hey, there's no rule about ambushes, it's fair game. You want that honor bit, go to Glorianna."

"Then I won't see your pretty face."

Ami blushed bright red for a minute, before punching Rirko in the arm. "You're an idiot. Don't say that in front of the girls!"

"Sorry." Rirko enjoyed teasing Ami. Perhaps, a bit too much.

"At any rate, we were driven into a corner by her tactics but…"

"But?" Now Rirko was genuinely interested in the outcome.

"Well, she first gave the team surrender conditions when she would have just gone in for the kill. Then, she left a weak point in her line thinking that Oarai would never attack."

"But did."

"And finally, she neglected to watch her flag tank, which itself got ambushed by Hippo Team."

Rirko facepalms hard. Having an ego wasn't necessarily a bad thing. However, when you underestimate your opponent's abilities and overestimate yours, it becomes fatal.

"Mastery of a tank does not excuse her arrogance with life."

"That would be something Shiho would totally say. Amen to that."

Emika was jumping up and down. "We get to shot at something, finally!"

"Yeah. I suggest we ask Miho if we can do a suicide run," Kii volunteered.

"That would be inadvisable…" Ichiho noted. "And stupid."

"If Oarai needs to sacrifice a tank, we'll be offering to help."

"Hell no," Emika jumped. "I wanna shoot at things first before blowing up."

Saki was looking at the entire exchange. "Oh, how little you know…"

"So, we'll be participating in the next match?" Maki asked.

Risa nodded. "Yeah. So, we'll need to step up our game."

"Maybe we can put some practice in?"

"We could, when?"

"Morning?"

"How about the evening?"

"I don't wanna go in the evening, I'm already tired from school."

"And I don't wanna go in the morning, it's too early."

"Um, girls?" Yumi interrupted. Both gave a look. "Early enough that Risa gets her sleep. But late enough that we can eat dinner afterward. How about that?"

Maki and Risa were silent for a bit.

Risa sighed. "Morning it is then."

"Evening words for me," Maki replied. Yumi just sighed. At least they weren't fist fighting anymore.

"WILL YOU GUYS JUST SHUT UP!" The voice of Momo of Turtle Team boomed across the field. The entirety was silent.

"Thank you. You were saying, instructor?"

Ami was preoccupied with Rirko's conversation that she didn't know she was back on. "Huh? Oh, right. We've also been invited to attend Pravda's annual Winter Festival. It will give the school an opportunity to experience another culture. Both ships will be docking in Toyama Bay, near Noto Island. It's also expected to have a squall there on the day of the match so bring your winter coats."

Once again, the teams erupted in chatter. Momo was quick to silence them, this time.

"The commander would like to say a few things before dismissal." She turned to Miho. She was patiently waiting for her turn to speak. It would be Rirko's first time hearing her address the team. What will her approach be?

Miho cleared her throat. "Um, I first want to thank everyone for their hard work against Glorianna. It was a hard strategy to pull off but everyone did well." The team murmured in agreement.

"Second, I'd like to announce the names of the new tank teams." Everyone oh'd and ah'd on the prospect of the new names.

Before the match with Glorianna, the Student Council put down a box, pieces of paper and some pens near the shed. It was so people could make up a name for the new team.

"Thank you, Turtle Team, for taking the initiative. And now, I'd like to announce to all of you the new team names."

Everyone hushed as Miho read the paper.

"The Char B1 will be now known as the "Tortoise" team. And the Hetzer…will be known as "Platypus". Everyone was silent for a few minutes. Then confused murmurs.

Both tank captains of the new teams were shocked.

"Tortoise?"

"Platypus?"

"What kind of names are those?"

"They go with the animal theme," Anzu defended. "I like them."

"Hmm…Do we have to go with the names."

"You girls did say 'do whatever.' So, we did." Yuzu added.

Both Kii and Risa sighed. They did say that but only because they were distracted with the practice.

"Now, that's out of the way. I want every team to see to our new recruits. Remember, how you all started. They'll be lucky to have teams working with them." At once, the teams swelled with nostalgia and pride. How far they came was an accomplishment. "I also want you all to continue to get to know each other, this time with a different team. Again, get the know them. What excites them. What style do they use? I expect to hear a lot of great things from you all."

"Remember, Pravda's match is in three weeks' time. Tank commanders, again, your input is appreciated." So basically, Miho volun-told the tank commanders to send in their ideas once again. Not that they had a problem with that.

"Will that be all, Miho?" Momo asked. Miho nodded. "Then, in that case, you're all dismissed." As the teams were dismissed, each tank commander, including Platypus and Tortoise, made plans to have a field day. They were only talking and decided to speak more in-depth later in the week.

As Turtle made their way back to the school, Miho made her way to Anglerfish.

"That was a great speech, Miporin!"

"Thanks, Saori."

"I think that Platypus and Tortoise were good names. The new teams really appreciated the attention."

"You think so?"

"I saw Risa beaming, that must be a good sign," Hana noted. Miho was happy that she could satisfy the new recruits.

"So, you're having the teams shuffled again?" asked Yukari. "To have them get to know them better?"

Miho nodded. "The teams still need to familiarize themselves with the new recruits. I think I heard they'll be having a field day! What a great idea! Whose idea was that anyway?"

"Risa…" Mako yawned loudly. "And Kii?"

"Should we be having dinner then?" asked Hana. "I think I'll be evening soon."

Mako, again, smacked her lips. "YESSS!"

Miho couldn't help but smile. "Alright, great idea. I just need to see Miss Chono really quick."

"Alright, but don't be too long!" Saori and the rest of Anglerfish went towards the main entrance. Miho went over to the sheds.

When Miho arrived, Ami was laughing.

"What's so funny, sensei?"

Ami took a break from laughing. "Take a look." As she pointed, they both saw Rirko, with a funny look. One eyebrow was up and his mouth slightly open.

"He's been like this ever since you named the teams."

"Um…" Miho didn't know what to think about this.

"Huh." Rirko snapped out and headed towards the two. He looked at Miho. "Well…this is a thing."

"Are the team names weird for you?" Miho asked, with a giggle.

"Well. To be honest. I kinda saw it coming with Anglerfish, Hippo, Anteater…It's still funny to me, actually."

"It's the norm here, get used to it."

"So, what did you want to see me for, Sensei?"

"Well…I just wanted to give you some pointers, if you're open to suggestions."

Miho became nervous. While she was open to suggestions, she hoped that it didn't change her style too much. Her nervousness didn't go unnoticed.

"Miho, you're not on trial here. You can take it or leave it." Rirko wanted to make sure that she was comfortable and not make it awkward.

Miho nodded and Ami began her report. "Well, your team cohesion has gotten a lot better. Plus, I see you could deal with our problem team there. I saw them talking to each other civilly."

"Thank you, sensei."

"Further, the tank teams have started to discuss alternative strategies for particular situations. And that's what I wanted to talk to you about." While Ami was speaking, Rirko looked at Miho's non-verbals. So far, when Ami praised her, she was relaxed. However, she immediately tensed up after hearing 'and that's what I wanted to talk to you about.'

"Regarding strategy. There's no doubt that you're our star player. And you said it yourself, if something happened to you, you wanted to have the teams think on their feet."

"Yes?"

"That's why I suggest that you set up a chain of command contingency."

This was a first. She understood what Ami meant. If something happened to Miho, someone had to take charge of the team in her absence.

"I understand. You're right. If something does happen to me, I can't leave the team hanging."

"Not only does it apply to off the field, but importantly, on the field as well. After you make your plan, clear it with the other commanders. Make sure they have some say in it."

Miho nodded. She thought she was going to be grilled for some mistakes, but what Ami was saying made sense. She relaxed a little.

"Your advice is great, thanks, Sensei!"

Ami smiled. "I…um, I'm glad you think so."

"Will that be all, sensei?"

"Yes, thanks, Miho. Great job out there!"

Miho looked cheerful. "Thank you! See you later Miss Chono, Mr. Nagasawa." As she walked towards her friends, Ami made a sigh of relief.

"That was seriously a good idea," Ami said to Rirko. "But why didn't you say it and had me do it."

He smiled a little. "To make you look good."

"Why?"

"Well, you are an experienced Sensha-do expert. And while the decision to take advice is ultimately up to Miho, she'll be more confident in her abilities knowing that she has someone like you for support."

"But she was already confident."

"Really? You sure? Why do you think she's been asking for the tank commander's strategies for each match?"

Ami never thought of that. Usually, Miho would make the strategies and everyone would follow.

"Because the thought of the team thinking 'on their feet' is uncharted territory. She never did this before. It's a trial run. If no one says anything, she'll start second-guessing herself and that may lead to…complications."

While it was a good explanation, Ami felt that Rirko was bullshitting her.

"All right, I'll believe you. But in the future, suggestions like this must be made by you. You have to look good too."

"Your concern is greatly appreciated."

"It's not a concern." Ami started to walk towards the school. "It's all about recognition."

She was right. Rirko was bullshitting her. He didn't think that his opinion would even be considered because of lack of experience. That Miho would take it under advisement and forgotten the entire exchange. Having it come from a reputable source made the idea appealing. And it worked. So, what does it matter? Miho was gung-ho about the idea. She'll probably have a plan in place before the match.

Oarai Girl's Academy – Student Council's Office – Morning - Next Day

It was the next day and Rirko decided that he had to discuss the issue where the council was only focusing on Sensha-do, and not on the other clubs. Of course, this stance was met with criticism.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE'RE NOT DOING ENOUGH?!" Sure enough, Momo didn't take the criticism too well. Anzu, Momo, and Yuzu met with Rirko, at his request, for a morning meeting.

"Hey, I'm just saying it as it is. The fact is that the council has Sensha-do as a priority. I'm sorry to say but due to that your morale around the school is lacking."

"Well, we've have been focusing a lot on Sensha-do, as of late," Yuzu admitted to it. "It's only logical that the rest of the school is lacking in resources…and maybe direction?"

"Then is it our fault then?" Momo questioned the validity of the report.

"A copy of the report has already been submitted to the headmistress and the other faculty. We'll be discussing the issue on Friday." Rirko said this with finality. That means it wasn't open to discussion.

"Without consulting us? I don't know how they conduct business where you're from but here, the Student Council is the ultimate authority. When we say it's a problem, it is a problem!"

"It's a problem," Anzu said, with a potato chip in her mouth.

"Miss president?!"

"Did you happen to read the agreement with MEXT and the school? When we had them sign that agreement before our match against University?"

"Yeah…"

"In that agreement, the headmistress has said with issues involving the student body. Morale is one such issue. Therefore, if one of her staff says it's a problem, then it's a problem."

"But why?"

"It seems this year both MEXT and the federation are experimenting with different leadership styles. Last year, it was all about the students. This year, it's a collaboration between student and teacher."

Yuzu and Momo jaws dropped on the floor. It's not unheard of that the Student Council shares control of the school with the faculty. However, the council had total control of Oarai since time immemorial, effectively leaving the faulty as an advisory role.

"You've got to be kidding me!"

Rirko cleared his throat. "Look, I'm not here to make your life harder. You do that already to yourselves. I'm just addressing the issue and may have a solution."

"Which is?"

"It's simple. Just get a committee together to act in your stead. Get very, very competent people on this committee, they do the work, and you're Gucci."

Yuzu looked at him funny. "…Gucci?"

"Gu…cci. Good. You're good."

"Oh."

Rirko hoped that it was a solution. He really didn't want to be in there longer than he should have been. Especially with an angry Momo breathing down his neck.

Momo breathed a heavy sigh. "I guess we don't have a choice. Especially, if morale in the school drops."

"Then it's decided. The Student Council will look at the possibilities of making various committees to solve the morale issues. As well, they will also assist us in running the school." Anzu looked proud of herself…. even though she didn't really do anything.

"I'll start getting a list of potential candidates." Yuzu bowed and walked over to the computers.

"And I'll start getting an announcement going about the search for committee members." Momo gave Rirko a dirty look, then went. He turned to Anzu.

"Aren't you going to do anything?"

Anzu just smiled. "I decided."

Arguing with her wouldn't do any good. Besides, it was out of his hands. He knew Anzu was the type of person that would do something if the situation called for it. If there was a problem, Momo or Yuzu would have made that known. Shrugging it off, he exited the office.

Oarai Girl's Academy – Rirko's Office – Morning

When he arrived back, Rirko decided to look at his e-mail before going on a break. He saw some adverts about random stuff he signed up for (he unsubscribed from those) but there were three e-mails that interested him. The first was from Headmistress Raidou:

Subject: Presentation

Hello Rirko,

I've received word from Anzu that the Student Council will consider creating several sub-committees to run the school. Many thanks for your support on this initiative. It's hard to get the council to do that type of action ever since they started Sensha-do. The work at the school is equally important however we will settle for their cooperation. I have every intent on having them make good on their commitment.

Further, I am looking forward to that Mental Health presentation you'll be giving this Friday. Remember that the start time is 9:00 am. Be sure to have everything prepared before then. Let me know of any resources you need.

Raidou.

It reminded Rirko of more work. It seems that Raidou had a lot of expectations from his presentation. But it wasn't a problem. Just put together a power point presentation, a few fun facts, perhaps embed a video. It shouldn't take more than half a day if he was committed. Of course, he had other obligations but he could always stay back after practice.

"Praise from Caesar." He smirked of the remark. It reminded him of another Caesar.

The second one came from somewhere he wouldn't expect. It was an anonymous sender.

Rirko wondered what it could be. "What the hell? I hope it's not spam." He opened the e-mail.

Subject:

I am watching.

This person was either a creeper or someone he talked to. But he couldn't tell where the e-mail was from. "This is beyond weird. Maybe, I can get one of the tech students look at this. I'm sure they'll be able to trace it back to its source."

The third e-mail he knew it was from. It was from the Sensha-do Federation. One, Shiho Nishizumi:

Subject: New Rules

As we are nearing the Nationals, I would like to remind each one of you of the new rules that are in place.

That all teams must have safety drills in place in case of emergencies. Any school that does not have safety drills in place will be disqualified from the competition. These drills must also be in a physical format and delivered to the Federation's head office before the drawing ceremony.

Any team member that has been emotionally compromisedwill NOT be allowed to compete. If a counselor lists a member as "emotionally compromised" and is found still participating in a tournament match, then the entire school is disqualified immediately.NO EXCEPTIONS.

Questions or concerns, contact your local Sensha-do representative.

Shiho Nishizumi, Chairperson

"Bitch." Rirko had no love for her. For what she did to Miho and the suffering, he wanted to avoid her as much as possible. It could have been a fear reaction. Or just unbridled hate.

She had some words in her e-mail bolded. It was used for processing information faster. In this case, safety drills and emotionally compromised would be noticed. She had ordered for all counselors, and anyone involved in Sensha-do for that matter, into compliance. If there were any more rules that needed to be followed, then Ami would let the girls know. She was good with that.

Without thinking, Rirko listed the e-mail as 'Spam.'

Oarai Carrier Ship – Miho's Apartment – Evening

It was a long day. Miho got home, exhausted by the day. The practice was especially hard when teaching Tortoise and Platypus new advanced techniques for the first time. It's as they say; the first time is always rough.

She didn't end her day, though. Miho was researching on Pravda, just like she did with Glorianna. Possible strategies, tactics, and contingencies were swirling around her mind. Mid-way through the evening, she took a little break to reminisce about the first-time meeting with Pravda.

Meeting Katyusha with Nonna for that match was interesting, to say the least. From the get-go, there was an air of arrogance and confidence that radiated with her. When Miho fell into the entrapment that Katyusha set up, she was sure she would rush in for the kill. However, Katyusha decided to give them the chance to surrender, grovel at her feet and beg for mercy.

Like that was going to happen. Miho, at first, didn't really care much for the match. But when they heard about Oarai being closed if they lose, she decided to care for the sake of her friends. So, she used Katyusha's own arrogance against her. Gathering intel from the enemy while they were celebrating, breaking a hole through their flank and ambushing the flag tank to seal the victory. Maybe Miho would have felt bad if she had known that when Oarai was declared the victor, Katyusha cried. Of course, it was a match between two schools. Enemies on the field but when the match was over, so did their antagonism.

Yesterday's enemies became today's friends. Katyusha accepted defeat graciously, rallied her on during the finals and helped her when she needed the most during the match with University. She could always count on Katyusha to be a support…if it means satisfying her ego a little.

Her reminisces ended when her phone began to ring. Looking at the caller ID, she saw it was Yukari. Miho sighed and she knew that it was one of her friends checking up on her. She appreciated the fact that they were concerned but it was to a point where they were like hounding her to make sure everything is fine.

Of course, they had every good reason to believe that everything was not fine.

Answering the phone, Miho tried to put on her best cheerful voice. "Hello, Yukari. It's nice to hear from you."

"Same to you, Miss Nishizumi. Am I interrupting you?"

"No, I was actually taking a small break. Planning for Pravda's match."

"Can't wait for that match?"

"Well, it'll provide us with the much-needed experience if we're to win the Nationals again this year."

"Yeah. That, and everyone is excited about the Winter Festival."

Miho forgot about the Winter Festival. Perhaps, it was something to look forward to. "I'll be the first time seeing Pravda in different lights and colors. In opposed to the dark grey clouds of snow falling on the ground."

"A festival is all about celebration after all."

Miho remembered the conversation between the teachers about having a chain of command contingency. "Listen, Yukari. Can I ask you something?"

There was a moment of silence. "Um, sure? What is it?"

"Well. I just remembered something that happened this afternoon. Miss Chono suggested regarding our chain of command."

"Right? What of it?"

"If something were to happen to me. Would you take command of the team? Make sure that they follow the strategy perfectly?"

This tidbit of news was so unexpected, Yukari felt like she got punched. "I…uh. Wow. That's a pretty big responsibility."

"Yeah, it is. But she's right. If something does happen, someone needs to step up. And you've been studying my style, haven't you?"

This was something that Yukari was doing in secret but didn't tell anyone. She wanted to help Miho in any way possible. "Yes. How did you know?"

Miho smiled. "The way you asked questions about particular things. Situational and having a hunger for knowledge. It's a good thing."

"Really?"

"Yeah. And that's why I'm asking you to take this responsibility. Well, will you?"

"… … …yes, I will."

"Good!"

"But Miss Nishizumi. Remember, this only covers if something happens to you. What about if the entire team is taken out?"

"I'll have something figured out by the end of this week. In this case, it would be another team taking the reins."

"I'm glad you're on top of things again today. Especially, what happened before…"

That statement reminded both about the post-match with Glorianna. A panic attack that came out of nowhere. It was something unexpected for everyone.

"That's why I have Anglerfish. Like you said, you have my back, right?"

"R…Right. Anyways, I wanted to let you know that Hana's planning to have a flower arrangement class at the community center near the school. Will you be attending?"

Miho wanted to focus on the match with Pravda. But she didn't want to turn down Yukari directly either. So, she took a page out of Rirko's book.

"No promises, Yukari, but I'll try to make it if I can."

"That's all I can ask you. Well, I'll let you go. Good night, Miss Nishizumi."

"Good night, Yukari."

She hung up. Miho stretched her arms and neck. She didn't want to remind herself of her emotional problems but she knew that she had the support of her friends. All she need do is to reach for it. And with this knowledge, she continued her work.

However, very late in the night. Once again, Miho had trouble sleeping. It was when Yukari mentioned the "Winter Festival." Imagine. Lights, cameras, happy families exploring the different vendors, a family that would eat authentic Russian cuisine, a family that would be together as one without anyone missing out.

A family…family…family…family…family…

And here she was. Alone. Where was her family? Her real family? Her sister and mother away from her. Even though her mother was keeping her at arm's length right now, she remembered a time when she used to smile so gently. Her sister, the same memory.

A sunlit day, both playing in the open court of home, her mother silently smiling at her children. Miho, very young, had a flower in her hand. She was hesitant to give it to her.

"Well?" Maho encouraged her to go. "Go on. She'll like it."

Miho uneasily approached her mother. Both Maho and Shiho gave a look and smiled.

"Well, Miho, what do you have there?"

"I found…I found this pretty flower. I wanted to give it to you." Shiho took the flower from her hand. She stared at it for a while.

After a moment of silence, she finally said, "I don't like it." The look of dejection was painted upon Miho's face.

"I LOVE IT!" She laughed and took Miho into her arms. Miho and Maho laughed as Shiho twirled around with her. This was something that Miho wanted to always remember. A happy memory.

But that's what it was. Just a memory. Just a memory of the days gone past. What happened to the mother she knew back then? What of her sister? Where was the family she longed for? With these thoughts in her mind, her chest began to tighten, her heart began to race. Miho shot up from the covers, breaking into a sweat. Breathing heavily, it took a minute to register but when the feeling of rejection and despair engulfed her, she gave a deep wail. She sobbed uncontrollably, confronted by the fact that she was alone.

No matter how much she stayed positive. No matter how much she claimed that her friends and her team were her new family, at the end of the day she was completely, utterly alone.

After a good ten minutes, she laid down still with tears in her eyes. She felt exhausted but wanted to cry more. She needed to tell this to someone. Now? No, no one would be awake this hour. Tomorrow?

Could she go to the emergency room at the hospital? Would someone be able to see her? She didn't know the hospital system to know for certain. Oarai's mental health team was only a few years old and she didn't know much. She didn't want to go alone.

How about her friends? No. No, she couldn't involve them. They may resent her and then leave her. Who? What could she do?

The thoughts coalesced into a single goal: she wanted someone else to know she was suffering. That she was in way over her head.

She didn't go back to sleep and stayed up for the entire night.

Oarai Carrier Ship – Rirko's House – Morning

The morning had broken and Rirko was still groggy. Shaking himself up awake and getting ready for the day, he poured some coffee, turned on the local news and make himself a breakfast. Something simple, cereal and toast. He turned on his cellphone, to see if someone wrote him something. Someone did. It was Miho.

Subject:

I need to see you now. Please!

Rirko stared at the e-mail. Miho wrote this around 5:30 in the morning.

"Son of a bitch. Damnit!" He turned off the television, rushed his breakfast, put on his shoes and coat and headed out the door.

Oarai Girl's Academy – Main Building – Hallway – Morning

When Rirko arrived, he was notified by the overnight guard that someone was there to see him and that she was waiting by his door. Knowing who it was, he briskly walked towards his office. Down the hallway, there was a figure sitting there, in the fetal position. She was trembling.

"Damn it all." Rirko wasn't mad with Miho. He didn't blame her for having him get up early to see her again when it wasn't a session day. The reason why he was mad was that this entire emotional roller-coaster couldn't have happened to a nicer, hard-working person like Miho. He felt pity and a need to help her. He slowed his pace and walked towards her.

He stopped at the door. It was Miho, all right. In the darkness of the hall, she looked at his eyes. He got down to her level. She wanted to say, 'good morning', and do what she usually does. But she even couldn't speak those words. It felt as if her throat was tied. Rirko was heartbroken and he felt he wanted to cry too.

"Wow…you…you look like you've been through a lot." He didn't say this to lighten the mood. He said it to validate what Miho was feeling. That she felt horrible, but it was okay. Someone was here for her.

When he validated her feelings, Miho couldn't hold her composure anymore. Completely broken, she hugged him and sobbed on his shoulder. All the while, Rirko rubbed her back gently as to comfort her, and said nothing.

This scene played out for another five minutes before Rirko managed to calm Miho down.

Oarai Girl's Academy – Rirko's Office – Morning

It wasn't even the start of the day and both were emotionally drained. On one hand, Miho's rough night was filled with frustration and sorrow. On the other hand, Rirko had to deal with a young girl and console her.

Miho was silent while Rirko grabbed a jug of water and some plastic cups. Setting it down on the table between them, Miho this time accepted his offer and poured out a cup.

"I'm sorry you had to see me like that." Miho was embarrassed. No one had ever seen her in that state before. "It was just too much."

"Well, I'm glad you got that out of your system. Maybe you can tell me, what's going on?"

Before, Miho was reserved about her feelings and emotions. However, this recent episode made her realize that things would get worse before it got better. And it would get even worse if she didn't have help.

"Last night. I thought about the winter festival."

"Hmm."

"Then about all the lights. All the fun things. Everyone happy and enjoying themselves. Everyone with…their…" She trailed off.

"Yes? With what?" He knew he couldn't rush her but he wanted to know.

Miho wanted Rirko to take the hint. She tried to say the word 'family.' But every time she thought of that word, it made her want to cry. She was already trying to hold it in.

"F…Fa…Fam…"

Rirko then understood what she meant. "Families?"

She nodded her head. He had said that word for her.

"So, is this about her family not being here?" Rirko wanted to make sure that the questions he asked were the right ones. "And how do you feel about your family?"

"… … I miss them."

"You miss them, huh. Must be hard to be separated from them."

"Yeah. We used to be close. But that's over now."

Now things were taking a turn. "What do you mean by that? How close were you?"

Miho had trouble finding the right words. It was difficult. "When I was very small, my sister and my mother used to smile all the time. That changed, when my father left. I didn't know where he went. Mother told me that we wouldn't be seeing him anymore."

"So, he either died or walked away from that life. And is that when your mother changed?"

Miho shook her head. "Mother always wanted us to do well in Sensha-do. She was a Sensha-do master and wanted her daughters to be the same. But she always put us first."

"So…do you know what changed her?"

"No…all I know that from then on, she never smiled again. And she made us focus on Sensha-do. Never on anything else."

"Shiho had relationship issues and then took it out on her kids? And your father?" Miho shook her head again.

Rirko sighed. The father was no part of her life anymore. That, or he didn't want anything to do with them. "So, going back to last night, if I may. What happened next?"

Miho squeezed her chest. "I started to have another panic attack. Everything around me was closing in." Her eyes started to swell up with tears.

"How did you feel about that?"

"Trapped and alone." Those were some hardcore feelings. The feeling was akin to being buried alive. Rirko wanted to stop it there but he had to know what caused it. "And do you know the reason this happened?"

Miho was silent at this question. She didn't want to talk about the happy memory. The thing that was supposed to make her happy, now made her sad.

"Miho?" Rirko shifted his chair and leaned towards her. "I can see that you're having a tough time on this. It's not easy coming out with how you really feel."

She nodded.

"I can see sadness and pain. But, what I see most of all is a loss. You've lost a lot of things that were important to you, right? To be able to live without the thing you cherish the most; that's hard for a lot of people."

"Yes."

"But it can be overcome. I want to help you, I really do. I want you to be happy, to be able to do the things that you love and with the people you care about."

To tell him about the memory, and the pain that was associated with it. She tried to formulate her feelings into words. But there was just too much pain and sadness to go through. Miho felt that she let him down; a person who was trying to help.

"I…I…"

Rirko knew that he wasn't going to get anywhere with his questioning. It was over…for now. No one with a heart, would even pressure her to answer now. The only thing he could do was console her.

"Listen, Miho. Like I said, it's not easy talking about your pain and struggles. But know that you have people who will watch out for you. Who will talk and listen to you. And if you think that they will turn on you and hate you, then you are wrong. If they felt that way, then they would have left a long time ago."

The fear of rejection and being alone again. That's why Miho didn't want to burden her friends with her pain.

"You can choose who to let into your life. If you let them, they will be there for you. Everything will be fine. Just have faith."

"… faith?"

"Faith that everything will turn out fine. Faith that your friends, your true friends, will never leave your side. Faith that after all of this, your family will smile again."

Miho couldn't say anything to him. Without an answer to what was happening and the fear of the attack happening again, at any time. Defeated and tired, she sat there and cried out of frustration.

Oarai Girl's Academy – Nurse's Office - Morning

It was already 8:10 in the morning. Rirko escorted Miho to the nurse's office. After explaining the situation to her, without revealing too much, he started to take his leave.

Miho was already in a bed and spoke weakly. "Mr. Nagasawa?"

"Yes, Miho."

"Thank you so much for listening to me. I don't know what would have happened if you weren't there."

"Know that you'll always have people. People who you can trust. People who will love you for who you are. Things change, people change. But it's not a certainty, nor does it last forever."

"She needs some rest," the nurse interrupted. "She looks exhausted."

"Yeah." As he left her, Miho fell asleep.

Rirko knew that she wouldn't be attending practice. Or, would she? He wouldn't be surprised if he saw her on the practice field that afternoon. As he headed back towards his office, this morning's events unnerved him.

"The very fact that Miho had these feelings within her. And she never let them out. Now they are affecting her to the very core and interfering with her aspect of life. If she continues like this, then I will have to suspend her. For the sake of her emotional well-being. You've put me in a difficult position, Miho."

As he made his way to his office, he ran into Anglerfish. They were running and looked distraught.

"Nurse's office."

They didn't have to say anything. He knew that they were looking for Miho. They nodded and ran towards the nurse's office. It's nice to have friends.

A/N A few things of note:

- The proper protocol, if dealing with high levels of anxiety and depression and you feel that talking with someone isn't going to work, would be to head over to emergency department right away. Call 911, if you need to. Just get help. Miho couldn't go to emergency because she didn't want to go alone and she had doubts if they could help her or not. An immediate answer wasn't available so she had to wait until morning to see someone who could help.

-If dealing with someone who's under a panic attack, comfort and never confront. They need support, reassurance that everything is okay. Don't try to make sense on 'why' it is happening. It is happening and something needs to be done. Words are powerful tools and sometimes we take it for granted. To have someone say 'everything is fine' can mean a lot to someone.

- Any professional counselor or someone with a mental health background may have a problem with the session. I don't know, it just feels...weird to me. I probably broke some Codes of Ethics or protocols or something. Let me know, thanks.

I'm writing this because I've been there. I can say I've been there and it sucks. It's been over a year since I've started having anxiety but I had help from my family and mental health team. So, if you are there suffering know one thing: you are NOT alone.

Your reviews, comments and favorites are touching and appreciated. Thank you.