A/N: I am soooooo sorry about the delay. However, here is the next installment of 'For You I Will.' Hope you enjoy:)
Disclaimer: I own nothing. The title of this chapter comes from Come Home by OneRepublic.
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Chapter 14: Better Half of Me
"Gilmore," Paris greeted Rory as she entered the suite. "DuGrey's here."
Rory sighed. She was not looking forward to this. Tristin had been with her throughout the summer and his only request had been that she accompany him on the New England leg of his tour over her spring break. But her coach had offered her a chance to go to a lacrosse camp at Georgetown, and possibly become captain next season.
She braced herself as she entered her room and saw Tristin lying on the bed sleeping. He looked so peaceful; she didn't want to disturb him. She lay down slightly on top of him, her left leg in between his legs, and rested her head on his chest.
"Hey, Mary," he greeted her sleepily as he slowly opened his eyes and wrapped his arms around her, resting his hands at the small of her back. He kissed the top of her head and smiled when he felt her small arms on either side of him. He smiled slightly and felt himself slowly drifting back to sleep. "I missed you."
Rory smiled and closed her eyes. This news could wait. Right now she just wanted to spend some time with her boyfriend. "I missed you, too, Tris." And with that she closed her eyes and drifted off to a restless – but much needed – sleep.
--
"So, you excited about the tour?" Tristin asked as they took their seats in the dining hall.
Rory took a breath. She knew the question was inevitable. All she'd prayed for, though, was for Tristin to not ask about it when they were in a public place.
She put on her brave face and smiled at him. "Definitely." She scolded herself for chickening out. This was not the way to handle this.
He smiled at her and took her hand. "Me, too. It means so much to me that you'll be there for this. I mean, I love that you're so dedicated to your sport, but I've missed you, Mare."
Rory sighed, and set her fork down. "Look, Tris, I, uh… have some good and bad news." She mentally smacked herself. There was no way this was good news. This was bad. Very, very bad.
"What is it, Rory?" She took note of his use of her real name. He knew something was up. He was definitely not going to be happy about this.
"Well," she began, trying to think of a way to tell him. "I got offered a spot at the lacrosse camp at Georgetown."
His eyes widened. "What? That's great news, Rory." He smiled, taking a hold of her other hand. "How is that bad news? You accepted the spot, right?"
She breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. "Yeah, I accepted. But, um, here's where the bad news part comes in. The camp is during my spring break. Which, coincidentally, is also the same week as…"
"The first leg of the tour," he finished for her. "And of course you accepted it."
"Tristin, I—"
"Forget it, Rory," he said. "We'll talk about it later. Let's not cause a scene right now. I'm sure there are people watching."
Rory sighed. This was the reaction she was expecting. She picked up her fork and started eating her lunch – dreading the fight she knew would happen when they got back to the suite.
--
"God, Rory, this is ridiculous!" Tristin exclaimed. "I ask for one thing from you. One damn thing and you can't even do that for me!"
"And what was I supposed to do, Tristin?" Rory asked. "Turn it down because I'm dating a superstar? Oh that's right, my world revolves around you, so of course that's what I'm supposed to do."
"That's not fair and you know it, Rory," Tristin said, pointing a finger at her. "I've done nothing but support you. I understood when you couldn't call me for a week because you had late practices and early classes. I supported you when you broke your leg and couldn't come with me that summer. And this summer? I said nothing when you decided to leave early because you wanted extra playing time."
"Right, and I suppose that I've been the only one who bailed out this summer," Rory responded. "Or am I wrong in remembering the time you skipped town – on the weekend of our anniversary, no less – because apparently I'm supposed to understand when your boss is in town and demanding a new song?" She paused, shaking her head. "Oh, and that's right, you're the one who conned me into going with you over spring break because apparently it was wrong of me to freak out when you declare your love for me on national television because apparently people do it all the time, right?"
Tristin was silent, and Rory knew she needed to continue before she lost steam. "God, Tristin, don't you get it? I care about you tremendously but this could be my big shot!"
"I don't get it, Rory. I tell you I love you and you tell me you need time. You promise me you'll be there for this leg of the tour and you back out because you get into some stupid camp." He looked at her with eyes full of anger, and she suddenly felt guilty. For backing out on him at the last minute, for not telling him he loved her, for not being there for him when he needed her the most.
She sighed. "It's not some stupid camp. If I go to this camp I could make captain next fall. I'd be the first sophomore to make captain in fifty years!" She paused again, still slightly unnerved by his earlier statement. "And, you know I'm not ready to… to…"
"Make your decision." His voice was cold.
"I'm sorry, Tris," she told him, not meeting his eyes.
He shook his head, not believing what he was hearing. "I… do you love me at all, Rory?"
"Tristin, love is such a big step," she tried to reason. "It's a commitment – a big commitment – and you know how it's been for me since Finn…"
"So it's still about Finn, huh?" his voice was quieter now, and Rory suddenly felt afraid. "Rory, I've been patient with you throughout all of it. I haven't pushed and I haven't tried to make you do anything that you don't want to, but… I need to know that this thing between us, whatever you want to call it, is going somewhere."
"You know it is, Tristin," Rory said. "You know that I care about you… so much. But every time I feel like we're getting somewhere, I just think that maybe Finn…"
"I'm not Finn, Rory," Tristin said quietly. "I'm not the exotic one. I haven't known you since you were fourteen. I haven't… I wasn't… we haven't even been together. Because I know that that's a big step. Something you didn't even share with him."
Rory stared at him. "Tristin…"
He held his hand up, knowing he needed to get this out. "I can't stay here in this limbo with you; waiting for you to be ready for me; waiting for you to catch up and feel the same way. There's a reason I never did relationships, Rory. And when I met you, I just… I knew you wouldn't hurt me, but I also knew it was too good to be true." He sighed, trying to find the right words. "You're never going to be ready for this, are you?"
She wet her lips, trying to think of what to say. And she realized that the only thing Tristin was requesting was the truth. "I want to. I want to be ready for this so much, Tristin."
He nodded. "I think I know that, Rory. But I don't know that I know that." He ran his hand through his hair nervously. And Rory felt it. The worst of the break up was over. All that was left were the pleasantries. The final good-byes.
"This wasn't another stupid fight, was it?" Her silence-breaking question came out as more of a statement. All she needed was the confirmation.
Tristin sighed. "You'll… you'll be okay." He didn't want this, but she was the one who needed to catch up. He didn't have the time to wait for her to catch up.
She nodded and for a second, she felt the urge to hug him. But she didn't do that. That wasn't the acceptable thing to do. "So will you."
Tristin took a deep breath. "I'll have Tom or someone send your stuff back to you." He paused, searching for the right words. "Just… take care of yourself." He smirked. "Mary."
Rory gulped back the lump in her throat. She couldn't cry in front of him. She wouldn't cry in front of him. "Bye."
And with that, he was gone. Rory fell onto the bed as the tears ran down her face. It was really over.
Tristin walked out of the room past Paris, who glared at him in confusion. Or hatred. He could never tell with her. He shook his head. At least he wouldn't have to deal with her anymore.
He walked outside and over to his rental. Sending one last glance back at Branford College, he got into the car and drove away. Hoping against hope that maybe, just maybe, this really was just another stupid fight.
--
It was nine o'clock at night when Rory woke up from her nap. She wondered for the briefest of moments why Tristin wasn't there when the events that had transpired earlier in the day came rushing back to her. She nodded and swallowed the lump in her throat again, determined to not cry any more than she already had.
She sat on her bed, watching the rain fall outside, thinking about everything that Tristin had said to her about Finn, and the dreaded 'L' bomb that he had dropped on national TV. She couldn't fault him for expressing his feelings. She herself and mulled over the possibility of falling in love with him. But the shock of it all, of him actually saying it out loud, had gotten the best of her, and she'd pushed the subject out of her mind. She'd reasoned that she really wasn't over Finn yet, and she probably never would be.
"You know, you could scare someone half to death just sitting there like that," Paris said, making Rory jump and finally notice Paris sitting at her desk, notebooks strewn across the desk. "What in God's name happened earlier?"
Rory shrugged, running her hand through her hair – something she'd picked up from Tristin in the year and a half they'd been together. "We just… broke up."
Paris snorted. "Gilmore, you and DuGrey couldn't break up if you tried. He loves you. And no one breaks up over something as stupid as not saying 'I love you' back. Hell, you even freaked out when Finn said it to you. But you two didn't break up."
Paris' words struck a nerve. Rory wasn't entirely sure which nerve, but she felt it. Some sense of awakening. Why would she just let him walk away? How could she let something like that happen?
"What the hell is wrong with me?" Rory asked herself aloud.
"I've been trying to figure that out since you and DuGrey started dating," Paris chimed in. "But I figured if I hadn't figured it out by now, I probably never would. Freud couldn't even figure out your shit."
Rory rolled her eyes, and focused her attention back on her personal problems. What could she do? "I…"
"I know it may be hard for you to figure out, what, with being perfect and all," Paris began. "But usually apologies come in the form of saying 'I'm sorry,' or some variation of that. Now, he probably won't answer your calls because he's an ass, so I would venture to guess that you should most likely go after him."
Rory sighed. "I… it's raining."
"And you'll melt?" Paris asked. "Gilmore, grow the hell up and go after him."
Rory smiled, for once agreeing with something Paris said. "You'll get my lecture notes for me?"
"If it means you won't be here in about five minutes, I'll even make you dinner when you get back," Paris responded. "Now, I need to catch up on some studying, so please just go after him and get him back so I don't have to deal with you moping around for the next six weeks. And by the way, you should probably tell your coach you won't be going to the camp."
Rory smiled as she stood up and grabbed her keys from off of her desk. "I'll... bye, Paris."
"Yeah," Paris responded, turning her attention back to the notebooks in front of her.
Rory smiled as she walked out of the suite and over to her car. She knew what she needed to do…