"Where's Jade?" Beck asked Josh and Brooke. Jade was nowhere to be found.
"Cat called in sick for her. We're just gonna carry on with production, and have her approve it later. If she doesn't like it, well, then we'll have another shoot," Josh told Beck.
Beck scratched the back of his head, wondering why Jade wasn't here. He remembered Cat randomly asking him last night if he ate with Jade. He wanted to know why Cat would ask him that, but more importantly, he wanted to know if Jade was ok.
Jade woke up looking around the room. She vaguely remembered what happened last night. She recalled drinking with Andre and vomiting. She just couldn't remember the details. She sat up from bed and stretched. Luckily, she didn't have a hangover. She looked at the clock. It was ten past noon.
She opened the bottle of water next to her bed and took a sip.
"Finally, you're up," Cat said, as she walked into Jade's room. "I called Josh and Brooke to tell them that you were sick."
"Thanks."
Cat sat on Jade's bed, facing Jade. "We need to talk."
"About?" Jade asked, with her eye brow raised. She was hoping she wasn't going to hear one of Cat's famous spiels.
"I'm just gonna come right out and say it." Cat took a deep breath before continuing. "Are you eating?"
Jade gaped at Cat, completely thrown off. She didn't expect Cat to ask her that, especially right when she woke up. "Where is this coming from?"
"You drank last night, and you vomited out yellow bubbly acid. You only vomit that out when you drink on an empty stomach. And that only happened when you were…"
Cat looked Jade in the eyes, scared, and Jade glared back at her. "When I was what?"
"When you were anorexic."
"Ok. So what's your point here?"
"Are you eating?!" Cat demanded.
"I can't believe you have the nerve to ask me that!" Jade got out of bed and stood up.
"You didn't answer the question."
Jade turned around. She was already furious. "Yes! Ok? Yes! I am eating. Are you happy now?"
"If you are, then why did you vomit out yellow bubbly acid?"
"I don't know. I can't control what my stomach vomits out." Jade turned around to walk towards her bathroom.
Cat stood up and ran to stand in front of Jade to stop her. She tilted her head back to look Jade in the eye. Jade glared down at Cat. "Tell. Me. The. Truth!"
"I am!" Jade yelled in Cat's face.
"I don't believe you!"
"I don't care if you do or not! Now get out of my way Cat!"
"Eat in front of me."
"What?"
Cat tippy toed to look taller. "Eat a bowl of cereal in front of me."
"I'm not hungry. I just woke up."
"Eat it, and I'll get off your back."
Jade rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. She didn't want to eat. She couldn't eat. After not eating meals for weeks, she literally did not have the appetite to eat, anything. But she knew that eating a bowl of cereal was the only way to get Cat off her back.
They went to the kitchen and Jade ate a bowl of cereal in front of Cat. Cat made sure to put enough cereal and enough milk. She also made sure Jade drank every drop of milk and ate every bit of cereal.
"Happy?" Jade asked, glaring at Cat.
"Jade, I just don't want you to put yourself in danger again."
"I'm not putting myself in danger, Cat. Can we just drop this?"
Cat pouted. She didn't know what to do about Jade. She just wants to help her best friend and the last thing she wanted was for Jade to get hurt. "I just-" Cat sighed.
Jade could see that Cat meant well. Jade sighed and walked over to Cat to give her a hug. "I'm fine Cat."
"I just care about you Jade."
"I know. Can I go shower now?"
Cat giggled. "Yeah. You smell like vodka."
As soon as Jade closed her bathroom door, she put her back against the door, and slid to the floor. She buried her face in her hands, and started to cry.
Her head was filled with so many thoughts and she felt a tornado of emotions. She felt guilty for lying to Cat. She felt sick to her stomach for eating the cereal. She needed to vomit it out. She stood up to turn on the shower to cover the sounds of her vomiting. She kneeled next to the toilet. She vomited out the cereal and milk without even having to stick a finger down her throat to make herself vomit.
She felt so much better after vomiting. The cereal and milk wasn't settling into her nicely. Her stomach rejected the food, since her stomach had gotten used to having nothing.
She flushed the toilet. When she wiped her mouth, she felt the tears going down her face again. Each tear holding a different emotion. Pain. Guilt. Anger. Confusion. Stressed. Overwhelmed.
She pulled out one of the drawers under her sink. The contents in the drawer consisted of a pile of tampons. She pushed the tampons aside to find what she needed; scissors.
When she got the scissors she opened the scissors and put the sharp edge of the blade against her left wrist. She stabbed the blade into her skin and pulled down. It hurt so bad, but at least she could control this physical pain; unlike her emotional pain. She felt a little less emotional pain after taking the blade out.
In the shower, the water made her cut sting. She could handle this pain. She could handle any physical pain. In fact, she enjoyed it sometimes. It was emotional pain that she couldn't handle. Her way of diminishing her emotional pain was through experiencing physical pain along side.
Beck knocked on the door, waiting for either Cat or Jade to answer.
"Hey Beck," Cat said, when she opened the door. "Jade's in her bedroom."
She let Beck in and Beck walked to Jade's room.
"Hey," he said, shyly, as he walked into her room.
She sat on her bed with her laptop on her lap. She looked up and smiled at him. "Hey."
"How are you feeling?"
"I'm ok. What are you doing here?"
Beck sat next to Jade on her bed. "I wanted to check up on you. Josh and Brooke said you were sick."
"Yeah. Not really. I just slept in and Cat called in for me."
"Fun night last night?" Beck asked, curious. He assumed it was, since she wanted to sleep in.
"Yeah. Every night I spend with Andre is fun."
"Oh really? Are you trying to make me jealous?" Beck asked, playfully. His lips quirked up into a smile to the side; his famous Beck smile.
Jade rolled her eyes and laughed. "What about you?"
Beck sighed. "Not even in the slightest."
"Why not?"
Beck shrugged. "I guess it was cause I wasn't spending my night with you," Beck told her, trying to sound charming.
Jade rolled her eyes again and smiled. She playfully pushed him. In return, he pushed himself on her and kissed her.
One kiss lead to two. Two lead to Four. And so on.
After their make out session and love making, Beck and Jade lied down in bed together, in each other's arms. They both felt like they were the happiest people on earth. This feeling of being in the arms of the person you love, was an incredible yet indescribable feeling.
"What are these for?" Beck asked, pointing at the bandage around Jade's wrists. She wore them to prevent her cuts from being seen.
"I use it as a brace. I have weak wrists," she lied.
"Do you wanna go grab something to eat for dinner?"
"Nah. I'm not hungry. I ate already." She wasn't entirely lying. She did eat cereal for breakfast, even though she threw it up afterwards. "I'll come with you though." She figured Beck could be her cover up, so Cat wouldn't force her to eat in front of her again.
The next day, Jade decided to call off work, so everyone could be ready and prepared to go to Canada the following day.
"Do you have to go to Canada?" Tori asked Beck. She wanted Beck to stay. The thought of him and Jade together just made her shudder.
"Yes. It's work," he said, packing his luggage.
"Will you visit your parents?"
"Planning on it."
"Tell them I said hi." Tori pulled out a treat from her bag. "Give them this too."
Beck sighed and packed it into his bag.
Tori pouted while sitting on Beck's bed, watching him pack. When Beck finished, he smiled at her and held a hand out to her. She took it, and he pulled her into his arms to give her a big embrace. She squeezed him tight.
"Yay! Canada here we come!" Cat screamed as she got into the small jet. The jet belonged to Jade's family. It seated twenty people.
Jade was the last to walk into the jet. Brooke and Josh sat next to each other. The four directors sat together. Eight of the other actors sat together. The two editors sat together. Cat took her own seat. Beck sat by himself. He had an empty seat next to him and so did Cat. She didn't know if she should sit next to Beck or Cat.
Beck gave her a shy smile and waved at her. Jade rolled her eyes but found herself walking to the seat next to Beck.
"Hey, pretty girl," he greeted her.
Jade took her seat. She strapped on her seat belt. "You ready to go to your homeland?"
"Yep. We have two free days right?" Beck asked.
"Yeah. I figured you wanted to see your parents. Plus I wanted to go shopping with Cat."
"What about me?"
"What about you?"
"You don't wanna hang out with me?"
"I thought you'd want to spend your free time with your parents."
"There's no reason I can't do both."
"Actually there is."
"Which would be?"
"They hate me," Jade said softly. Back in high school, she didn't really care about what Beck's parents thought of her. Now, as an adult, if she wasn't going to be liked, at the very least, she wanted to be respected.
"Can you blame them?" Beck said, smirking at her, recalling the time Jade released a dog that ended up attacking Beck's dad. He also remembered kissing her afterwards, because she did something nice for him.
"It was an accident!" she said, defending herself. "You said you wanted a dog, so I got you a dog. I didn't know it was gonna attack your dad. I'm sorry. Plus you're dad ended up being o-"
Beck interrupted her by giving her a kiss.
Jade smiled at him. "You can't keep interrupting me by kissing me!"
"Why not?" Beck asked, with a smile to the side.
"Because it's-"
Beck interrupted her again with a kiss. He chuckled and she glared at him.
When they landed, Beck took his first step onto his homeland. "Ahh!" He took a deep breath in and exhaled. "Canadian air."
Everyone stood around and Josh and Brooke handed Jade the itinerary. She went over each item on their itinerary. Then she went on to room mate assignments. Beck was sad to hear he was rooming alone. Jade roomed with Cat. He knew him and Jade couldn't be in a room together because of professional reasons, but he still hoped.
When they got to the hotel, everyone went to their rooms to get some rest. It was eight o'clock at night, but everyone was exhausted. Beck was happy to discover that his hotel room was directly across Jade and Cat's.
After unpacking and settling in, Beck knocked on Jade and Cat's door.
"Can I help you?" Jade asked.
"I hope so. Would you mind keeping me company for the night?" Beck asked, smiling, in hopes that she would say yes.
Jade stood there, staring at him, thinking about whether or not she should do this. "Call time is 6:00 AM. We both should get some rest."
"Why don't we get some rest together?"
"I don't think so."
"C'mon. I'm not gonna take no for an answer."
Cat could hear them talking. "Just go!" she yelled at Jade. She wanted to have some rest, since she didn't really have any on the plane.
Jade rolled her eyes and got out of the door. Cat was clearly cranky, and Jade didn't want to deal with it. She followed Beck into his room.
"We need to get some rest," Jade said, as she lied down on the bed.
Beck joined her. He put one arm around her shoulder and reached for her hand, with his other hand, to hold it. "Ok boss."
Beck couldn't see her face, but he knew Jade rolled her eyes at him. They both closed their eyes. "I love you," Beck whispered into Jade's ear. They both fell sound asleep.
Jade woke up at 3:00 AM, for some unknown reason. She tried to go back to sleep, but she couldn't. She looked at Beck, and saw that he was still sleeping. She slowly and quietly got out of bed. She tip toed to the door.
"I hope you don't think you can get away that quickly," Beck said. Jade had reached for the door knob, but Beck had stopped her. "Come to bed."
Jade listened and came back to bed. Beck rubbed his eyes to get a clear view of her. He opened his arms and she rested perfectly on him.
"I'm gonna marry you one day, Jadelyn West," Beck told her, softly. He kissed the top of her head.
Jade loved the idea of marrying Beck. She dreamed about it in high school. But now, with everything so chaotic, it didn't seem like the right thing.
"Too bad you're still with Tori." Jade got out of his arms and sat up.
Beck sat up too. He reached for her shoulders to bring her back down but she refused.
Jade felt tears fall down. She's been such an emotional roller coaster lately. Usually, she was so composed, but everything has been flying in through the windows.
"Tori and I aren't together," Beck lied. He felt bad about lying. He knew he shouldn't have lied, but the truth is, he's in love with Jade.
Jade gaped at him, totally surprised. "Really?"
"Really," Beck said, smiling. He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and kissed her forehead.
For the next eleven days, Jade, Beck, and the crew worked hard, non-stop; From 6:00AM-10:00PM. The only time Jade and Beck had any alone time together was at night, after work. That is, if Cat didn't snatch Jade away; which she did a few nights.
The cutting stopped, during those eleven days. Though, somehow, she managed to get away without eating. She'd drink coffee and water to keep her stomach full. She didn't drink any liquor, to prevent another Cat spiel after vomiting. She'd gotten away with lying about when she ate and who she ate with.
Before they knew it, it was their last day of production in Canada. Everyone was so relieved that the chaos and stress was done with, for now. Everyone planned out how they would the next three days.
"So, you gonna come with me?" Beck asked Jade.
"Where?"
"I wanna show you something."
"But Cat and I have plans to go to-"
"I already told Cat, and she's fine with it," Beck reassured Jade.
"Fine!" Jade yelled. She tried to hide her smile, but Beck could still tell that she was smiling.
Beck parked the car and turned off his ignition. Jade got out of the car and gazed at her surrounding. They were at a park. There was a big open grass field, with trees as barriers. The park had a swing set, and jungle gym for kids. The color of the leaves on the tree were different colors. A clear indication of fall. She loved being at places that had the full four seasons. Back in Hollywood, they only had hot weather.
She walked up to one the trees and pulled a red leaf off a branch. Beck stood behind her, gazing at her.
"I bet I can guess which leaf color is your favorite," Beck told Jade.
She arched her left eyebrow. "Oh really?"
"Red," Beck answered.
Jade rolled her eyes, but nodded. He was correct. It wasn't much of a surprise that red was his favorite fall red leaf color. The beauty of the fall red leaf, was just a bonus.
He walked closer to her, and wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her tight. He gave her a kiss on the cheek, as he squeeze her tight.
"Why'd you take me here?" Jade asked.
"My parents used to take me here. I grew up here at this park."
"So why'd you take me here though?"
"Because, back then, this was like my second home. I used to come here, to think. I felt at peace here, and I wanted to share this place with you."
"Did you take all of your Canadian girlfriends here?" Jade asked in a joking way, but she really did wanna know.
Beck chuckled. "No. Just you," Beck whispered in her ear.
She turned around to face him, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. She titled her head, and kissed him.
They went back to the car after enjoying each other's company in the cool fall breeze at the park. He started his ignition.
"Where are we headed next?" Jade asked Beck. She buckled her seat belt.
"My parents house," he answered.
Jade's eyes bulged out. "What?! No! I am not going there." Jade unbuckled her seat belt.
"Please Jade?" he begged.
"No!" she yelled back. "They hate me!"
"They do not."
"Says you!"
"Please Jade? For me?" Beck looked straight into Jade's eyes, knowing she couldn't resist whatever he asked for when he looked at her that way.
She rolled her eyes and buckled her seat belt again. She crossed her arms over her chest, and said absolutely nothing.
Beck smiled and drove happily to his parents house. The park was only a few blocks away from his parent's house. He was excited to see them. It's been a while. He knew they wouldn't be pleased with the surprise visit of him with Jade, but he wanted to marry this woman, so they just had to accept it. Jade kept her arms crossed over her chest during the whole car ride.
Beck pulled up his parent's driveway, noticing another car - that didn't belong to his parents - parked in the driveway also. He wondered who owned that car, and what they were doing here at his parents. He hoped his parents didn't already have company.
Beck got out of his car, and opened Jade's door. She glared at him as she got out the passenger seat. In return, he smirked at her.
He walked to his parents door step and Jade followed him. He knocked on the door.
"Honey! Oh my! My baby boy is here!" Beck's mom cheered. She gave him a good tight hug. "We were hoping you were going to show up." She continued hugging him, not acknowledging Jade's presence. "He's here!" she called out.
Beck's dad showed up and gave Beck a manly hug. "It's good to see you son."
Beck held out his hand to gesture at Jade. "Mom, Dad, I brought along Jade. You remember Jade right?"
Beck's mom forced on a smile. "Oh. Hello dear." She waved at Jade.
Beck's dad just nodded at Jade.
It was clear that they were both still mad about the dog incident.
"I guess I'll go set down a fifth plate for Jade," Beck's mom told them.
"Fifth? Who's the five people?" Beck asked, curious.
"Your father, myself, you, Jade, and Tori."
Jade's jaw dropped, completely shocked.
What the hell is Tori doing here? Both Beck and Jade asked this question in their head.
Almost as if on cue, Tori showed up at the door step. "Hey babe," Tori greeted Beck. She gave Beck a kiss on the cheek.
At this point, Beck didn't know what to do. He just stood there.
"Hey Jade. What are you doing here?" Tori asked Jade.
Jade felt so out of place. She felt like she didn't belong. Without thinking, she turned around and stormed away. She didn't go to the car. Instead, she kept walking.
Beck's parents and Tori stared at Jade walking away. They thought it was utterly rude of her to leave without any explanation.
"What are you doing here?" Beck managed to ask. He was trying to get a hold of himself.
"I wanted to surprise you, and I wanted to have dinner with your family," she answered, innocently.
"How did you even know I'd be here tonight?"
"Georgia told me."
Beck rolled his eyes. Of course Georgia would tell Tori. He regretted telling Georgia about his up-to-date plans each day he was in Canada.
"Why did you bring Jade?" Tori asked, interrupting Beck's thoughts.
Beck shook his head, shaking away his thoughts. He looked to where Jade stood, and she wasn't there. He hadn't realized she'd left. The car was still there. "Where is she?"
"She walked away, without saying a word. How rude," Beck's mom commented.
Beck glared at his mom. "Just stop it mom."
Beck walked to his car.
"Where are you going?" Tori asked him.
"I'm going to go find her!" he yelled, as he slammed his car door.
Jade walked down the blocks. She decided to go to the park. It was the only place she knew, around here. At least the park was familiar territory.
Why was Tori there? She called him babe. That means they're still together. He lied to me. Why would he do that? Does that mean he's been lying to me this whole time? Does that mean he really doesn't love me? I knew it. This whole thing was just too good to be true. I should have listened to Cat and Andre. I should have stayed away. Why do I have to love him? Why him? Of all people? Why couldn't I have just kept my feeling swept under the rug? Why did they have to resurface?
As soon as Jade got to the park, she collapsed onto her knees on the grass field. Her vision blurred and before she knew it, the tears streamed down her cheeks. She began to sob loudly and her breathing picked up the pace.
She set her bag on the ground and began to dig out the one thing she needed right now. Her scissors. She hadn't used it at all while she was in Canada, but that was about to end. She removed the bands around both of her wrists. She opened the scissors and stabbed the sharp edge of the blade into her wrists. This time, she was aware that she puncture a vein on her wrist. She tossed the scissors to her other hand, to slit her other wrist. Again, she lacerated a vein, being fully aware of her actions.
She threw the scissors back in her bag, along with her bandages. She stood up and tried to wipe the tears away from her face. By then, her breathing was uneven.
The blood was dripping from her wrists, but she didn't care. She paced back and forth.
Beck frantically searched the blocks around the neighborhood for Jade. He tried to think on where she would go. Then, it finally hit him. He knew where she went. To the park.
Jade saw car lights approaching her. She ignored it and kept pacing. Her bag still set on the floor.
Beck got out of the car.
"I'm sorry Jade. I didn't know she was going to be there," he told her, walking closer. He could smell blood, faintly, but ignored it.
She stopped pacing and stared at him. She glared at him with an angry look. "You think that makes it ok? You think not knowing that she was going to be there, makes it ok?"
"No. It doesn't. Look, Jade, I'm sorry."
"Oh you're sorry? You're sorry for bringing me to your parents house where your parents didn't even fucking acknowledge me and where your girlfriend is having dinner with your parents, while they were expecting you, and only you? Not some washed up ex-girlfriend who they regarded at just dirt."
Beck didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry," he muttered.
"You lied to me!" She yelled. "You told me you broke up with Tori!" Jade continued to pace.
"I tried ok?!" He ran a hand through his hair. "I tried to break up with her but she begged me not to. I was planning on trying to break up with her again when we got back."
Jade scoffed and stared at him with disbelief.
"Look. It doesn't matter if I'm with her. All that matters is that I love you."
Jade scoffed again and continued to pace. Beck walked towards her. "You're the one I want to be with. You're the one I want to marry." He held her and tried to pull her close but she pushed him off.
"How do I know that's not just another lie?!" she demanded.
"Because you just need to trust me."
Jade still paced, back and forth. She felt light headed, but continued to pace. "Yeah… Cause that worked out so well," she replied in a bitter sarcastic tone.
"Just like I said Jade. It doesn't matter that I'm still with her. I'm in love with you. I want you."
He reached for her again, and she pushed him off, again. "It doesn't work that way Beck! You're not Hannah Montana. You can't have the best of both worlds."
Beck didn't know what to say.
"I can't believe I let myself fall for you again. I knew I shouldn't have. Andre and Cat told me to stay away from you. I should have listened," she said, as she continued to pace. She said it aloud, but it seemed like she was telling herself that, rather than Beck.
"I love you Jade."
"Just stop! I don't wanna hear any more of your lies!" Jade picked up her bag and began to walk away from Beck.
She didn't run away, she slowly walked away. She felt light headed again. The trees started to blur and she felt a little dizzy. She started to sway a little. In a matter of seconds, she collapsed onto the floor.
Beck quickly ran to her side. He fell to his knees and placed her head on his thighs. "Jade. Jade. Wake up. Jade!"
She was reached for her wrists to check her pulse but felt warm liquid. When he held her wrists up to the light he saw the cuts and blood dripping. He was completely taken by surprise.
How did this happen? Did she do this to herself? How? When? Why? Beck asked himself.
"Jade. Wake up."
Jade didn't respond. He put his ear against his upper chest to hear her heart beat. Her heart rate was rapidly fast.
Beck carried her into his car. He lied her in the back seat, making sure to have a good look of her in the rear view mirror. He drove as fast as he could to the emergency room.
What's wrong with Jade?
Will he make it in time?
Will Beck and Cat discover what Jade has been up to?
How will they react to it?
Will Jade wake up or stay in a comma?
Will Beck sweep his feelings underneath the rug?
Stay tuned to find out!
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