Kenpachi & Shuuhei: Friend
"I've come up with a perfect solution for our problem," Gin said.
"Um?" Yachiru said through her full mouth.
"Did you know that Shuuhei is an accomplished chef?"
"Wha…?"
"He makes lots of good food," Gin clarified.
"Oh, goodie!" Yachiru cheered.
"So all you have to do…"
"All I have to do is have Kenny order Shuuhei to make me food!" Yachiru finished.
"Er, that wasn't quite my plan but sure, why not? I'm sure that Shuuhei won't be terrified out of his mind or anything."
"Hey," Kenpachi said to Shuuhei.
"H-hello, Captain Zaraki," Shuuhei was proud of himself for not jumping. He wasn't sure how he had possibly missed the captain's ominous spiritual pressure before but he was definitely feeling its malevolent presence now. "Um, are you here to finally turn in your squad's descriptions forms for the annual registration drive?"
"The what?" Kenpachi mulled it over. "Hell no. I think Yumichika is doing something about that…that…whatever it is."
"Um, so…?"
"Yachiru says you cook," Kenpachi said.
"…yes?"
"So we're coming over tonight for dinner. See you at 7."
Dinner…Kenpachi…dinner…it took awhile for it to sink into Shuuhei's skull, way after Kenpachi had taken his leave.
I have to make him and Yachiru dinner? I don't even understand where this came from, Shuuhei pondered.
Then of course he had to work late and barely made it home before 7. He started to mini panic thinking of the hulking captain and the annoying…er…precocious pink-haired lieutenant coming by when he didn't have anything for them to eat.
"Hey," Kenpachi grunted as Shuuhei opened the door.
"Er, hello," Shuuhei greeted. "I uh, didn't really have anything fancy to make so hopefully you like it."
"What is this?" Kenpachi asked as he started chowing down.
"Just some stir fry."
"Yeah, but it's different," Kenpachi pointed out.
"Oh, I cook my stir fry in sake," Shuuhei then worried a little bit. How old was Yachiru again? I mean, she wasn't really old enough to drink, or was see? Did it even matter considering the type of people that she hung out with?
"It's good!" Yachiru chirped.
Shuuhei sighed with relief.
"Did you make brownies for desert?" she added.
Shuuhei hadn't even planned desert, since he wasn't a huge fan of sweets himself, and he had no idea what brownies were.
Yachiru sensed his confusion. "Ikkaku brought me back some from the world of the living and they're really good!"
"Oh well, I guess I would have to get a recipe from him to make them," Shuuhei mentioned.
"Good, we can have brownies next time," Yachiru said with a cheer.
Next time? Shuuhei groaned internally.
"Next time" Shuuhei had tried to make something a little more fancy, not that it seemed to matter to the large spiky haired captain one way or the other. Yachiru seemed to like the duck though, and Shuuhei actually liked making food for more than one person. It always seemed a little bit of a waste to make a whole bird for himself since he always had some go bad before he could finish it all.
He also attempted the brownies, however he wasn't that much of a baker. Not too many non-cooks understand the difference between a chef and a baker, but Shuuhei knew that he was good at one and miserable at the other.
"It's ok Shue, we'll work on it together next time. Maybe Ikkaku will come over and help!"
Of course it wasn't just Ikkaku, it was Yumichika and Ikkaku, which actually wound up being a good thing since Yumichika knew a little bit about baking and Ikkaku only knew how to not burn butter.
Before I know it, I'm going to be cooking for all of Squad 11, Shuuhei moaned to himself. What am I going to do? It's not like I can afford to keep feeding five people instead of one almost every night, especially if Yachiru keeps demanding baked sweets.
He was however proud of his brownies. He had to admit that although he didn't like hard sweets, there was definitely something to be loved about warm and moist chocolaty bread. Besides, he had found that if he made extras and handed them to Rangiku, he'd get a big hug and a kiss on the check for his efforts. He wondered how much brownies it would take to feed the whole Shinigami Women's Association.
"Yachiru, I'm getting fat, we can't keep eating so much food all of the time," Kenpachi complained.
"Kenny can't get fat!" Yachiru denied. "He only gets more musclely!"
"Uh huh. I'm just saying we need to cut down on eating over at Hisagi's."
"Oh boo!"
About a week later, Kenpachi was walking with Yachiru to her lieutenant's meeting. She saw Shuuhei and squealed, jumping into his arms. "Mommy!" she cried. "Make me some cookies, Mommy!"
Shuuhei turned about half a dozen colors before settling on a very very pale white.
"Heh…heheh…HAHAHAHHAAHA!" Kenpachi belted out. "Don't let her get to you," he said to Shuuhei. "I'll bring some sake next time," he offered as a way of apology. Shuuhei perked up a little at that. Everyone knew that somehow Kenpachi always got his hands on the best sake. There were rumors that he might even make it himself, but Shuuhei suspected that Yachiru probably purloined it from the Kuchiki coffers in the middle of the night.
"See, it worked!" Yachiru said proudly. "AND I got lots of good food!"
"Yeah, it did. Rangiku is happy too. I guess she's fond of something called "snickerdoodles" that Shuuhei makes now."
"Oh, I love those!"
"So, who's next?" Gin asked.
"Humans and shinigami, I think. ALL shinigami versus ALL humans," Yachiru offered.
"All right, here goes: Rukia Kuchiki and Keigo Asano: Friend."
"Too bad, that would have been a fun mate, I think Ichigo might have died!"