The next morning dawned bright and early.

"Oh no, I know that line," Harry groaned. "There's going to be another Skeeditch match, isn't there?"

Darn right there is.

Harry rolled over and tried to get some more sleep, only consenting to crawl out of bed once Oliver Schwoodde made his morning rounds banging on a large saucepan.

A few spoonfuls of pickle-preserve at breakfast, and Harry went with the rest of the team to the changing rooms. He knew, along with everyone else, how important this match was for Grandmador. Skeeditch finals had been called off for the past two years due to events caused by a certain You-Know-Which-Smurf. This year, however, Schwoodde seemed determined not to let an evil wizard to cramp his style.

"WEASLEYS! I want you to Bludgeon the Slummins as much as possible, savvy? If they break a bone or something, you can tell their parents to sue this dude." He handed them a business card. "Tell them he's my rich half-goblin third cousin."

"Er…Schwoodde?" said Harry. "Don't you think you're being a bit too…tense about all this?"

Schwoodde's eyes looked positively bloodshot, and he ran a hand through his hair. Several large clumps fell out.

"Tense? Me? I don't know what you're talking about Potter. And see here –" he said, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, "If you're the cause of Grandmador losing this game, I will personally see to it that you will be the only Hogwimps student exempt from dessert for the rest of the year. "

Harry gulped.

The twins' friend, Smee Jordan, was commentating on the match. He called out the players names as they flew out onto the pitch, one by one:

"Ding-a-ling!"
"Spinny!"
"Weasel-face!"
"His Wittiness Looooord Stumpy!"
"The Grinch- Uh, I mean Schwoodde!"
"Smoking haggis, does Potter have genuine Fire Nanny? Why didn't he show it to me, the twerp?"

Then it was the Slummins turn to fly out, to a loud chorus of 'Boo's,' which caused Snap to cast a Silencio charm on the whole stadium and Transfigure a particularly rowdy gang of Snuffeluff fourth-years into kumquats.

It was a particularly violent game. The Slummins seemed uninterested in scoring goals, but particularly intent on fouling against up all the Grandmador players. It was almost as if they already knew they were going to lose, and so were taking the rare opportunity of beating up Grandmadors without a high risk of detention.

After fifteen minutes into the game, Fred and Lord Stumpy had already handed out four phony business cards. It was just after the fifth when Harry spotted a glint of…fluoro green? With…bling-bling?

"That's right, dudes," sang the Snitch. "I had a makeover!"

Harry dived as quickly as he could, but the new gangsta Snitch seemed adamant on getting away whenever he tried to grab it.

"Please, S-Unit," he begged. "If I lose this game, I don't get Jell-O for the rest of the year!"

"WHAT? No Jell-O? Then I'll help you out, homie."

Harry pulled his Fire Nanny up into the air, holding the Snitch triumphantly. He was immediately knocked over by Schwoodde who seemed to be either hugging or suffocating him. The Keeper was followed by the rest of the team, until Harry, his Fire Nanny and seven Skeeditch players tumbled down to the pitch in a mass of crimson robes. They landed on about fifty first-years, who tried to lift them, but then toppled over and fell.

"Don't worry, y'all just need more time to practice the groove," said the Snitch wisely.