A/N: Greetings. It is currently 3:29 in the morning on a Thursday night. My sleep schedule is all fucked up now.
Anywhoo.
I felt bad about having you guys wait a long time for updates due to band and school stuff. So I made a super long chapter for you guys.
Annnnnddd. I've got another possible story/one shot up. So that took awhile too. Double Check, Demetri/Tanya. Don't exactly know whether to continue that or not; so I would appreciate it if you went and checked it out. :D
NOW ROSE/JASPER TIME.
Enjoyy.
x~o~x

Guarded

Chapter 13

Just as he had reluctantly predicted; she didn't come back for days. Days, had turned into weeks. And weeks, turned into at least a month.

He was beginning to think that she may have reallyleft for good. That he had scared her off to the point where she didn't want to come back. Not now, not ever.

Jasper cursed himself for it. Out of everything he had done—murdering innocents, forcing others to go into battle, doing Maria's bidding—noneof it measured up to what he had done now. If anything, it only added to his pain; and fueled the belief that he was a savage monster.

And the weight of his new family's emotions just made it worse. He didn't want to see their sympathetic expressions, let alone feel them. He didn't want them to feel sorry for him—he wanted them to hate him. He was happy everyone would be gone from the house for awhile.

He deserved it after all, didn't he? Every single ounce of pain he deserved. Whether it came from the guilt of what he had done, or from the pain the venom caused his human victims.

Lord, he hated himself. He wanted to just die, right then and there.

Jasper sat in his room, staring out the nearest window. It was nighttime in Chicago; and it was raining. He watched the rain drops bounce off the slippery green leaves; watched the light, dead looking browns of the trunks turn dark and alive.

He got up from his bed; and cracked one of the windows. Wind rustled in; along with the peaceful, unnerving sound of rain pelting whatever hard surface there was.

A certain smell entered his nostrils. An all too familiar vanilla scent wafted the air.

His eyes widened in realization. Could it be?

Immediately, Jasper tore open both the windows; and jumped out. He landed on the wet, slick ground; slipping backwards onto his knees.

He got up, briskly brushing off whatever mud he had on his jeans; and kept running towards the scent.

And there she was. At the front of the house. She had her back turned to him; but he knew it was her.

Rosalie turned around, sensing him nearby. She was wet from the rain; her hair damp and a slightly darker shade of blonde. Her clothes clung onto her, accentuating her soft curves. Jasper desperately hoped his body wouldn't betray him now,of all times.

Without thinking, he hugged her. He pressed her some frame against his chest; nuzzling his face in her neck. He inhaled her vanilla-y scent.

She tensed up at first; and Jasper immediately let go. "Sorry," he quickly apologized, putting his hands behind his back.

He refocused on her emotions. They weren't negative—thankfully. She was better than when they had last talked. She was happier, and he wondered why she was feeling a rush of sudden adulation run through her.

"It's fine," she said. She looked at him with shy, bashful eyes. "I missed you too,"

Jasper felt his stomach flutter at that. He smiled at her, happily.

"Now," she grasped one of his hands. "Are the others gone, or are you going to have to sneak me in through your room? I don't think I'm particularly ready to face them yet."

"It's safe. They're all gone. Edward, Emmett, and Alice went another hunting trip; and Carlisle and Esme went away for some time to themselves. They should all be back next week."

Rosalie nodded, and opened the door. Jasper followed her through. "I'm going to go upstairs to change. I have to get out of these wet things," She glanced at the knees of his pants. "And it looks like you may need to, too."

"I can give you a pair of pants if you'd like," He offered.

There was a small burst of fear running through her. She stared him wide eyed. "Wh—what?"

Jasper wanted to smack himself.

"Oh—uh—I just thought that might be more comfortable than a skirt—and uh; more comfortable. Since you know—you're kind of soaked, and I just figured they'd be warmer—" He stuttered; hurriedly trying to make things okay.

She nodded carefully. "Oh..kay." She walked up the stairs.

A few minutes later, they were both back in the living room; Rosalie in an old tee shirt and pajama pants of Jasper's; Jasper in similar attire.

They sat on opposite ends of the Cullen's white couch. Rosalie held her knees to her chest, and stared at the table. She appeared to be in deep thought.

Jasper studied her carefully. Her eyes were dark. Her hair was limp, and fell around her face—though he couldn't tell rather that was just from the rain or not. Her lips were pursed, and her brows knitted together; as if she was concentrating very hard on something. She looked considerably paler than he remembered.

He tried not to let his eyes wander to the rest of her physique. Jasper was secretly pleased with the sight of her in his clothing. Though, she did look a bit… unhealthy.

When was the last time she fed?

She cleared her throat. "I think there may be some things we need to talk about."

Jasper gulped. He knew it was coming, but it he ultimately afraid of what she had to say. He nodded, urging her to continue.

Rosalie shut her eyes, tight. "I'm so sorry Jasper," she whispered helplessly.

Jasper blinked. What? He replayed this moment in his head plenty of times. He expected her to go into a complete rage at him; to threaten him; to kick and scream at him. But he certainly didn't expect her to apologizeto him.

"…What?"

"I'm sorry. I know what I did didn't do any good for you. You must have felt horrible. I shouldn't have acted that way—"

Jasper stared at his hands; irritated. "That's insane, Rosalie. Don't apologize. You've got nothing to be sorry for."

"Yes I—"

"No .You don't. If anything, it was me at fault.

Rosalie stared at him in horror. "No.. Don't think like that, Jasper. You couldn't have known anything…"

"Maybe. But maybe not. I'm an empath after all."

She was quiet then. "Do… Do you know?" she whispered fearfully.

Jasper nodded, looking down at his feet. "I figured it out."

He felt her sadness come back. "How much…?"

"Not a lot," he assured her. "I asked Carlisle about it. But he wouldn't give me any specifics. I understand you for not wanting to share something like that."

Then he felt her doubt. Her worry. Her guilt and sadness.

"Don't," she hissed, once he begun to send her more positive emotions. Rosalie's current depressed state only worsened.

"I hate seeing you like this," he murmured. "Especially if I know exactly how you feel."

She grimaced. "And that's exactly what scares me the most."

They were quiet, Jasper letting Rosalie's words sink in. What did she mean by that?

Jasper took a deep breath, and looked at his feet. "I don't know if this would.. make you more comfortable, I suppose; in any way. But I do really know what you're going through. Hell, I'm still trying to recover from most of it myself," He gave a humorless chuckle.

He glanced back her. Rosalie's eyes were widened. There was a small hint of hurt in them; but there were also hints of hope and caution.

"You remember me telling you about that coven I used to live with?"

She nodded.

"Have you heard anything about the wars in the South?"

Rosalie raised one delicate eyebrow. "I've heard Carlisle mention them before. Why?"

"Some vampires had realized that if they wiped out any other nearby covens; or nomads in a certain area; they could feed without ever being noticed by the humans. They could feed on however much blood they wanted; have some left over; and never be found out."

"Immortal gluttony," Rosalie said humorlessly.

"Precisely. And to do this; they would create an army. A newborn army, to be specific. They'd create new vampires; train them; use them to kill others; then dispose of them like old toys."

Rosalie's eyes had turned glossy with fright. "And you… You were a part of this, weren't you?"

Jasper nodded carefully. "I lived nearly a century like that," he sighed. "I didn't think there was any other way to this life than that. That's the life the leader of my old coven taught me of, anyway. Maria—that was her name; had created me because she saw I had a gift that was useful to her—"

"And she used you to train, fight, and kill," Rosalie summarized for him.

"She convinced me we were mates;" Jasper replied in remorse. "I only did what I did; because she told me too. I thought what we had was love," His eyes met Rosalie's for a moment. "I was wrong. Dead wrong."

He let his silent message sink in. Then he gulped and looked away.

"I felt every single emotion—of every single being I met. I felt the pain of their transformations; the fear they had of being executed; the depression and apathy they had because they knewthey'd be dead in only a year or two. I even felt the emotions of anyone I fed off of," Jasper begun blinking rapidly; almost looking like he was crying.

"And then, Maria." He continued. He shook his head. "You've seen my scars. You know how much pain our venom can cause. I never lost a fight with a newborn; but I did lose several with Maria. Newborns are hard to fight—that should be common sense. I'd be worn out after each battle. But she didn't care. She'd drag me away to her chambers and… Force herself upon me. "

Jasper winced at the memories. "I couldn't fight back. I wouldn't have the strength to. And I think she really loved that fact. It left me powerless to her; to surrender to do whatever she wanted me to. She'd bite me wherever she wanted; making her mark. She'd violate me in… any.. openings she found. She'd whip me, she'd beat me…"

He felt something touch his hand, and hold it tight. He didn't notice Rosalie move to sit by him.

"I'm sorry Jasper. The man who… Well, one of them; he was my fiancée at the time. His family owned the bank my father worked at; and, that's how we had known each other. We had no real connection or anything; but I was so happy to be engaged… To have what I thought would be a loving husband, and a wonderful family."

She scoffed. Her breathe had become shaky, and she squeezed his hand tighter. He put his other on her shoulder, a small act of comfort.

"I was walking home from a friend's house. It was dark out—the night before the wedding. I found him and his friends; celebrating his bachelor party, I assumed. I didn't want to interrupt them; so I kept on walking, not saying a word to them."

She shut her eyes. And Jasper found his grip on her hand and her shoulder grow tighter with each word she said.

"He—he came by. Him and his friends. They called my name out, and came rushing toward me. Royce, my fiancée, smiled at me; and then pulled me toward him; my back against him. He was drunk; they all were. I could tell.

"'Ain't she a looker?' He said to them, gripping me tightly. I could smell the alcohol all around them…" Rosalie shuddered. "'Told ya'll she was a beauty', he said."

Jasper had to suppress the urge to growl. There was a quiet rage sweeping through him.

"'I dunno,' one of them slurred." she continued. "'Too covered up to tell.' That was when he ripped open my jacket; tearing away my blouse… 'How 'bout now?' he said."

Rosalie was shaking now. "It was awful Jasper. Just awful. They all crowded around me.. Howling with sick approval. They begun to tear away the rest of clothes… They ripped out the pins in my hair, pulling my scalp back. They smacked me, held me down, bitten me. They entered all openings… Sometimes at once. I remember vomiting sometime that night. One of them used a beer bottle-"

Jasper growled. "Fucking bastards. I'll kill them. I'll fucking kill them—"

"Already did." She gave him a sad smile. "I did my best not to spill one drop of blood though. I'd kill myself if I had lost control and fed off one of them. I can't deal with having a piece of them—inside of me, somewhere."

"Good. If you didn't, I'd have some tracking to do. Fucking assholes deserved it."

"They did. And I made sure they suffered."

Rosalie smirked at him, and then sighed. "We still haven't gotten to the main point, yet though."

"And what's that?"

"The kiss. "

Jasper felt his dead heart sink. "Oh. Yeah. "

Rosalie took a deep breath. "I really don't want to get on Alice's bad side already. She's a bit annoying, but still—"

"Alice?" Jasper blinked. He stared at her, perplexed. What the hell did Alice have to do with anything?

Rosalie looked equally surprised with his reaction. She was curious. She tipped her head to one side. "You know… Your mate?"

Jasper blinked; his jaw dropped for a moment. Then he started laughing. "No. No.Alice and I are nothing more than friends," he snickered.

Rosalie was flustered. "Oh—I—I didn't—" she covered her face with her hands, embarrassed.

"I know, I know. You weren't here when we explained that to the rest of the family, were you? I probably should have made that clearer, shouldn't I?"

She scoffed. "Should've."

Jasper chuckled again, brushing a strand of hair away from Rosalie's face. "Besides," He said, continuing. "I think you're a thousand times much more lovelier than Alice. She can't even compete with you,"

He felt a rush of happiness go through her; along with even stronger waves of relief.

"Thanks," she flashed her brilliant smile at him. "I don't particularly fancy being the other woman anyway…"

She giggled, prompting Jasper to join in with her.

When they had calmed down, he grasped both her hands in his; a sudden serious look across his face. "So… Do you think we could try this?"

Rosalie grinned, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I think we could. I would like that."

They embraced, holding each other tightly. Jasper had never felt happier than in that simple moment; and he reveled in it.

But he couldn't help but notice the small trace of doubt Rosalie was sending off.

x~o~x
A/N: Reviews make me and my chickens very happy. And rememberrr: Another possible story/one shot up; if you like my stuff and wanna go check it outtt. Mkkaaayy; bu-bye for now.