Amell waited by the fire for Cullen. He came in but kept his distance.
"I wasn't sure you would come."
"Hawke said it was urgent. I assume you are leaving the city."
"The city is on the brink of war, a war I helped start. I can't abandon it now."
"Then why am I here, Amell?"
She finally looked at him. He was stiff, withdrawn. He looked like he'd flee at any moment. She sighed. "I don't know how to say this but I must. I'm pregnant."
He opened his mouth but no words came out. "It's mine?"
"I haven't been with anyone else."
"But it's been months," he said.
"It only takes once."
He closed his eyes.
"I'm sorry. For what it's worth I have no expectations of you," she said.
He stood there silently for several minutes.
"Say something."
"I'm torn. A part of me wants to rush across this room, take you into my arms and make love to you."
"And the other part?"
"Wants to flee."
There was a lump in her throat. "You don't have to decide now."
"But if you leave…"
"That depends on the templars really."
"There's been no talk of Hawke or the estate but they know Anders is an associate of hers. You really aren't safe."
"Will I ever be?"
He sighed and rubbed his neck. "There's something you should know. There was someone else."
She felt a sharp pain in her gut. That hurt. "Oh?" was all she could squeak out.
"I thought the only way to get over you was to be with someone else."
"Who was she?"
"A templar, which made things awkward when I ended it."
"Were you together when we…"
"No. It'd been over for a while. She wasn't what I wanted. It was a mistake."
"You don't owe me anything."
"But you didn't."
"It wasn't out of loyalty to you. I knew it wouldn't be fair to him and I cared too much to put him through the pain. I did that once before with Alistair. I learned my lesson."
"You love him?"
"I could. If it weren't for you, I probably would. But it doesn't matter. He doesn't want me anymore. Not now." She gestured to her belly.
He approached her hesitantly. "May I?"
She nodded. "There isn't much there yet. I'm not far along."
He placed his hands gingerly on her stomach. Having him touch her was all too pleasing. She needed him to stop. Instead he ran his hand up her sides until he cupped her face. This thumb stroked her cheek. "I'm not running away."
"Things haven't changed."
"Solona… I can't offer you what you deserve but I can't turn away either. I need you."
She put her hand on top of his. "I need you too."
He kissed her softly and she kissed him back more urgently. She pulled him to the bed and he plopped down beside her. He held her and for the first time in months she fell asleep in the arms of the man she loved.
# # # # #
Cullen felt conflicted about the pregnancy. He was filled with both wonder and terror at being a father. He had no idea what future he and Amell even had. If she was forced out of the city, what would he do? Could he abandon his duty to follow? What about his duty to her and to their unborn child? He hated how complicated everything was. Why couldn't things be easier?
Meredith approached him, a stern look on her face. "Knight-captain I want you to arrange a search of the champions estate. I believe she harbors an apostate. But be discreet. I fear someone in the ranks is slipping her information." Cullen's heart sank. His worst fears were coming true. Soon there would be nowhere for Amell to hide.
"When do you want this done?" At least he was still trusted.
"As soon as possible."
"Yes Knight-Commander."
She left and he panicked. He needed to get word to Hawke but how? Amell was in danger. He had to get her out of Kirkwall. He rushed to the estate, not caring how it looked.
Bodhan opened the door. "Lady Amell is upstairs."
"Where's Hawke?"
"I'm right here."
"The templars are coming, we need to get Amell out of here."
"What's going on?" Amell asked, appearing at the top of the stairs.
"We need to get you out of Kirkwall."
"What about Anders?"
"I don't know where he is actually," Hawke said.
"Well we can't leave without him. I think I know where he might be." Amell left and returned under a cloak. "This should suffice."
"We are not going around the city looking for him," Cullen argued.
"Well I am."
"Don't do this, Solona."
"I appreciate the risk you took warning us. Now gather your men and make your raid. We won't be here when you arrive."
He looked to Hawke who only nodded.
This could be the last time he ever saw her. He rushed up the stairs and took her in his arms. "Be careful, my love." She kissed him on the cheek and gave him a small smile, one that didn't reach her eyes.
"Goodbye Cullen."
He left and gathered some men, praying the entire time. When he got to Hightown, he found Orsino and Meredith arguing, the Champion between them. Hawke's companions, including Amell, stood at her side. He marched his men over to where they were arguing.
"Knight-Commander is everything all right?"
"Maybe you can talk some sense into them because they aren't listening to me," Hawke said.
His mind barely registered the arguing pair, his eyes on Amell. She had her hood drawn up, half-hiding her face. Their eyes met. He needed to make a decision. Could he really let her leave without him? No. He couldn't. As soon as it was safe, he would take her from Kirkwall himself. He would protect her. It was his duty.
Just as the decision was finally made, the chantry exploded.
# # # # #
Alistair checked to make sure Hawke was okay.
"What did you do Anders?" Hawke asked, staring at her former ally.
"I took away the chance for compromise."
Meredith declared the Rite of Annulment. Orsino begged the Champion. Amell stood by Orsino.
"I'm sorry Hawke, but I can't just let the mages be slaughtered."
Everything was happening so fast. He could see the indecision painted on Hawke's face.
He needed to reassure her. He didn't have the answer but he trusted her. "I stand with you, love."
"I agree with Amell. I can't stand by and watch the mages die."
"Make your decision wisely, Champion. You stand with them and you will share their fate." There was no mercy in Meredith's voice. Her and her templars left. Cullen hesitated for only a moment before turning and leaving with his men.
He saw the look of pain that crossed Amell's face before she hid it. He wanted to reach out to her, to tell her she still had her family but he didn't. He knew Cullen's betrayal would hurt no matter what he said.
"I'll be waiting for you at the Gallows," Orsino said. "I'll leave him to your hands." He pointed to Anders who was sitting on a crate, his face melancholy.
"There's nothing you can say that I already haven't said to myself."
Hawke tried to get answers from Anders but came up empty. She turned to her companions for their advice.
"He deserves to die," Alistair said.
Amell spoke last. "Killing him now makes him a martyr. It's what he wants."
"What would you do?"
"I'd let him go, make him live with the consequences, alone."
Anders looked at Amell, his eyes full of tears. "Could I have saved you?" she whispered, her voice shaky. Alistair hadn't even considered how Amell must have felt.
"No, love. I had to do this."
"You could have told me."
"You might have tried to stop me or worse tried to help."
"We could have found another way, a better way."
"No, love. I'm sorry."
"Damn it Anders. She is going to exterminate all the mages for your crime."
"It had to be done."
Hawke sighed. "I'm letting you go. Maker knows why but death isn't going to solve our problem. Leave my sight. If I ever see you again, I'll kill you."
"Come with me Amell."
"Why would she do that?" Alistair asked.
"Because staying and fighting is going to end in her death. I can get you out of the city. Somewhere safe for you and the baby."
"I'm not fleeing. I will see this through."
"Amell please. You just saved my life, let me save yours."
"You made your choice Anders. So have I. Goodbye."
He walked over to her and kissed her cheek. "I will always love you." Then he turned and fled.
Amell's face was a stony mask. "Are you alright?" Alistair asked.
"We need to get to the Gallows."