Shepard cont'd:
"…What?" She narrowed her eyes at him over her tea cup.
"I think you should give Nathan a second chance." Garrus repeated. He had to admit it sounded crazy, but the man's apology had been desperate. And, though he only did it to get the man to leave, he'd promised he'd mention it.
She leaned across the mess table and pressed the back of her hand against his forehead, "Are you feeling ok?"
He brushed her hand away, "He apologized and really seems to want to make up with you. I figured we could find something for him to do to contribute to the war. Maybe we could use him?"
She blinked and arched an eyebrow at him. "You want me to invite him onto the Normandy? A ship full of aliens?"
Garrus nodded, "I'll keep an eye on him, no worries."
She pushed a hand through her hair. "Ok look, it's creepy that you're asking for multiple reasons but I'm just going to tell you the main one… Nathan's my ex."
"You…dated that guy?" He tried not to be upset. That was years ago, he had no right to be jealous, but he was.
"Well I didn't know he was a raging xenophobe until after the attack. If I'd known he was that close minded before it never would've happened." She leaned back in her chair, sipping on her tea and not meeting his eyes. "I dumped him after the attack, when I left with Anderson. I couldn't stay behind with all that… I left them all…" She shook her head, "Garrus I appreciate it but its old news, just…let it go."
"Not if there's a chance for you to have a piece of your past again." He pushed. Of all the people in the world who deserved some piece of mind, she deserved it most.
"Really?" She quirked an eyebrow at him, "Even if that piece is a xenophobic ex-boyfriend that hates your guts and would likely try and pry us apart?"
"I'm not encouraging the idea for me." He placed his hand over hers, "I think you should at least give it a chance, meet him for coffee or something... Just think about it."
He kissed her forehead and stood to leave. He made his way to the console and paused. His thoughts flickered to her life back on Mindoir, what might have happened to her if the Batarians never attacked? He thought back to how serene her voice had been as she patted down that strange creature with the black scales. The sun shining in her hair, accenting the auburn, her smile soft and warm, her eyes gentle and unhardened by the brutality of war. Her heart un-scarred. Would she have stayed with him? Married him? Had his kids? Was that something she would have wanted?
No more than an hour had passed with him alone in his thoughts before she joined him in the battery. She fidgeted with a drawstring on her hoodie and leaned against the wall.
"I've thought about what you said." She rubbed the back of her neck, "And I'm willing to give him a chance, but not now."
He turned to face her, leaning back against his station. It was so cute when she fumbled like this. She was always so collected, composed, in control. But right now she looked like she'd just been caught with her hand in the cookie jar.
"After… After the war. I know I should talk to him sooner, I know there are all of these things I should do…but this is personal. No one's lives will be spared, no nations will be saved…it's only for me, purely selfish." She held up a hand before he could interrupt, "And while I agree it should be done if for nothing but the sake of closure…I'll do it after the war, when I know there could be no ramifications to my distraction."
Garrus pushed off his console and hugged her tightly. "Whenever you do, I'll be here."
With everyone loaded back up onto the Normandy, Kaiden included, they set off to go steal some scientists from the Illusive man. She had to admit, it was good to see Jacob again. He may be wearing a Cerberus uniform, but he was Alliance to the core. They managed to save everyone, and find a formula for Turian poison. She forwarded the document to the doctor she'd overheard at Huerta Memorial.
She pulled up her email. They'd cured the Genophage, saved the citadel from Cerberus and Udina, and now the Quarians wanted to take their home world back. Why was everyone going bat-shit now? Couldn't they have just waited a bit longer? Or maybe waited until after monstrous sentient starships were done trying to wipe them out? She let out a sigh. At least she would get to see Tali.
The meeting went well, though she could see the vast disagreement between the admirals. Tali handled them all with grace. She'd changed considerably from that daring little girl she'd rescued in a back alley. She called Tali up to talk in her cabin for a while before the girl had to dismiss herself with 'admiral business'. She lay down and closed her eyes, doubtful for sleep, but it took her quickly. A glorious, wonderful, dreamless sleep.
She woke up to Garrus brushing the hair from her eyes. The way he looked at her, she couldn't help but blush and smile up at him.
"Hey." Her voice was breathless. She stretched out as far as she could, something popped in her back.
"Hey. I hate to wake you, but we need to go take out a dreadnaught." She shot up out of bed and he grinned at her reaction. She seemed well rested, full of energy; it was something he hadn't seen in too long. She pulled on her armor immediately and twisted her hair into a complicated bun.
"Are you kidding?" She grinned. "This is the kind of stuff I want you to wake me up for."
"It's not an option, Xen, drop it." She stood tall and leaned forward with her shoulders squared, blocking Legion from the crazy Quarian. Xen backed off begrudgingly, Shepard was certain she was sneering beneath the helmet. It was good to have Legion back. She missed her favorite robot. They spoke briefly before she was called by Admiral Raan.
"Geth fighter squadrons are tearing our live ships to shreds. We need to incapacitate them somehow before there is no Quarian race left to return to the homeworld." Her voice was level, but the panic was clear.
Before Shepard could try and comfort her, Legion approached.
"This one may be able to assist." He mentioned the Geth hub located elsewhere on the planet, where he would go ahead first and clear a path, and then she would assist him in disabling reaper controlled forces. She agreed readily, and trusted Legion implicitly.
When she approached the machine she was surprised to say the least. Her mind was going to be downloaded into Legions own conscience. She patted a worried Garrus and Tali on the shoulder before stepping into a platform built for a Geth prime. She felt so small. Admittedly she was terrified, but she wasn't about to let them know that.
"Shepard…. Are you sure about this?" He stood just outside the opening, he could hear her heart racing despite her cool exterior.
"We don't know what you'll find inside…" Tali shadowed him.
"We don't have a choice. Besides, its kind of exciting, don't you think?" She grinned, bouncing on her heel.
"No." Tali said flatly, crossing her arms as the door slid shut.
She found it hard to sit still, but managed just enough to be downloaded. She was grateful for the gun, even if it was just an illusion. She cleared the reaper corruption quickly and reached a recording of her first moment with Legion.
"You saved this?" She smiled, "I'm flattered."
"It was the first time an organic willing cooperated with a synthetic. It was noteworthy." He stated simply.
She grinned at him, "That explains why you kept my armor as a patch."
When she exited the network, she was a bit dizzy, and a lot euphoric. She grinned widely at Garrus, easing some of the tension from his face until the Geth Primes circled them, following closely behind Legion. Tali and Garrus moved in close, watching her. She raised an eyebrow to Legion, he explained they wished to join. She smiled and welcomed them, much to Tali's surprise, before heading back up to the ship.
She cursed violently when she learned that the Quarian's had begun to land on Rannoch before it was clear. They'd lost so many units already. A quick, yet traumatic mission to rescue admiral Koris left them with one more task at hand.
It was time to disable the reaper code.
She almost had to laugh. Of course it was a reaper. What in the world would make her think it could be anything else? But she was done running. She told Legion to pull over as she went to face the monstrous Destroyer on foot.
Her adrenaline went into over drive. Everything pulsed around her and went in slow motion as she targeted the laser, staring the reaper down as it charged its attack. She barely made it in time, but the full firepower of both her Normandy and the entire Quarian fleet hit the reaper full in the face. She cheered from the sidelines, narrowly avoiding the shrapnel.
Its eye flickered, it began to speak as she approached. It challenged her, threatened her, told her there was no hope for someone as minuscule as her. She listened to the dying reapers words and sat at the edge of the cliff, staring down at him, grinning.
"You say all of these things, how small I am, how insignificant, how weak…" She gestured with her hands as she spoke, giving her a relaxed air, a cruel smile crept to her lips. "...yet you know my name. Harbinger has spoken of me in distain; that alone should tell you I am your worst nightmare. There are millions more like me. You, despite all the wisdom of your age, are so incredibly stupid. We may represent chaos, but in that is life. It is chaotic, and it is beautiful."
"It is not a thing you can understand. Every organic form must be harvested, we are your salvation."
"You're saving us…by killing us? You're right, I don't understand because it doesn't make sense. But it doesn't matter, because you will fail."
"Finish your petty war." It rumbled, the light flickering away, "We will be waiting."
A chill ran up her spine and she stood and walked to meet her friends as they approached. Tali ran up excitedly, chattering and bouncing about their victory. But it was only one. And, by reaper standards, it was a small one. She cringed.
Han Gerrel piped up over the comm, he wanted to wipe out the entire Geth fleet. Legion pleaded with her, his people did not deserve death for defending themselves, and she couldn't agree more. The Quarian's started this war, the Geth simply defended themselves. She motioned for him to upload the code.
"Shepard you can't do this!" Tali implored.
"Tell them to stand down, Tali." Shepard pointed to the sky where a battle raged overhead, "The Geth are about to come up to full strength and the fleet will be slaughtered if they fight."
"But, Shepard..." She could feel the anguish from Tali, but she knew this could work. It had to. There could be peace. She turned away from Tali, hoping beyond hope that she was right. The concept of fully independent Geth, with their own free will, hyper-intelligent and grateful… it was too wonderful to stop. But she would not allow the fleet to fall in exchange. If they wouldn't listen... she would have to kill Legion and destroy their race.
Tali gave her the authority, and by some miracle she managed to get Han Gerrel to stand down. Legion paused, saying that direct personality dissemination was required. She protested, and to her surprise, he comforted her. She laid a hand on the piece of her old armor.
"Thank you, Legion, for everything."
"No, Shepard-Commander, thank you." He collapsed to the ground. She held back the tears, but barely.
She met Tali at the edge of a cliff, overlooking the beautiful Rannoch. She handed her a stone from the ground, so she could carry her home with her. She was so happy for her. Her homeland, the land the Quarian's had dreamed of for centuries was safe and at peace. As soon as the war was over, they had a homeworld to return to, to fight for.