Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. They all belong to Shonda.
14 You Drive Me Half Crazy
"So you haven't talked to him yet?"
Addison walks into the hospital even though she doesn't have any patients to see, and she sighs when Savvy's voice on the phone asks her the question she was wishing she wouldn't ask her. "No, Sav, I haven't seen him yet. That's why I'm at the hospital. To see him." She walks into the elevator seconds later, and once again curses her bad luck first thing in the morning. The one day she actually wants to see Derek, and it's the one day he isn't making gooey eyes at Grey by the elevators. "So you're coming home soon?"
Addison shrugs slightly. "I hope so. I'll send the papers to Brian as soon as Derek gives them to me, and then we just have to settle the divorce and I'll go back home." She's happy to realize it doesn't hurt so much anymore. Apparently, instant cocoa and a night of crying her eyes out was all she needed. "Good. How are you doing, sweetie?" Addison smiles at Savvy's always comforting voice and steps out of the elevator as she replies. "I'm good. How are you guys doing?"
"We're okay, but I think Mark's become Weiss puppy and he'll be devastated when you come back and he stops being his only friend." Addison chuckles slightly and walks briskly through the corridors trying to find Derek. "I'm glad you guys are fine. I can't wait to go home." She pouts slightly when she reaches the end of the corridor and still hasn't seen Derek. "I can't wait for you to be back. I kind of need your medical advice." Addison stops walking, and her voice shows concern when she speaks again. "Medical advice? Are you all right, Sav?"
"I'm fine; it's nothing you should worry about. Listen, I have to go, take care of my godchild and call me when you talk to him, okay?" Addison isn't convinced, but she sees Bailey walking into the interns' locker room and makes a mental note to interrogate Savvy further the next time they talk. "Okay. Bye, Sav." She hangs up and walks towards the locker room, poking her head inside when she reaches the door. "Has anyone seen Dr. Shepherd this morning?"
"His name is on the OR board. He should be here, somewhere."
Bailey's not-so-useful reply lets her know she's getting in the way of the interns' work, and she walks away with a sigh, hoping to find Derek soon so she can leave the hospital and be one step closer to going back home. She decides to try Richard's office in case Derek's there, and she walks into an empty elevator for the second time that day. For a hot spot in Seattle Grace's relationships, the elevators are awfully quiet now that she actually has someone she wants to see.
She knocks on the door to Richard's office moments later, and she lets out a sigh when she sees Derek's nowhere to be seen. If she didn't know better, she'd think he was avoiding her. Richard greets her with a smile, and she returns it as she speaks. "Have you seen Derek today?" Richard shakes his head. "I've seen his name on the board, though. He should be here, somewhere." Addison frowns slightly, annoyed, and mentally promises to whack the next person who tells her that. "So I've heard."
She decides she can stop looking for Derek for a while to talk to Richard, and sits on one of the chairs in front of him. "Have you and Derek talked things through?" She knows Richard wants them together. He loves them both, and he only wants to see them happy. She wishes he understood being apart is the only way that's going to happen. "I gave him divorce papers. Does that count?" Richard frowns slightly, and for a moment she thinks he's going to give her a lecture on the correct way to tie a scrub cap, like he did when she first saw that frown all those years ago.
"I never thought I'd see the day when you gave up on a fight."
Addison smiles sadly at her mentor as she shakes her head softly. "There's nothing to fight for, Richard. Our marriage is over." Richard doesn't look too convinced, and she looks at him as she goes on. "Someone told me once that I had to learn when to stop fighting. Learn to see when fighting for something will do more harm than good." Richard nods and smiles slightly. "That someone was a very wise person." And Addison chuckles, happy to see he's understood. "He is indeed."
"So you're leaving us soon?"
Addison takes a deep breath, hoping Richard won't offer her a job and make everything even harder for her. "Yes. As soon as the divorce is settled." Richard stays silent for a moment as he looks at Addison, making her feel like he's reading her mind. It's a gift he has. And she figures it has something to do with being someone's mentor, because she's seen Bailey do it to her interns a few times already. "What are you not telling me, Addie?"
There it is. The mysterious ability to read her mind. She'd hoped it'd go away when she finished her residency, but apparently she wasn't lucky enough for that. "Nothing, Richard. I came here for a consult and to give Derek the papers. And I've done both things, so there's nothing else for me to do here." She knows Richard has probably seen through her once again, and she silently wills him to let it go. She really doesn't want to lie to him, but she doesn't think she'll be able to tell him why she really wants to go back home. "But there is something for you in Manhattan, isn't there?"
Addison sighs and looks down, wondering if she should tell him about Blob, and Mark, and the perfectly complicated life she's living right now. She opens her mouth to speak, but a nurse walks in before she can say anything, and she lets out the breath she'd been holding, thankful for the interruption. "This conversation isn't over, Addie." And she chuckles at his impersonation of a pissed off attending as she walks out of the office, leaving him with the nurse.
Addison walks towards the cafeteria minutes later, mentally willing Blob to cooperate and let her eat something that will make her stomach stop growling in protest. She's about to walk into an elevator when she sees Dr. Burke walking towards her, and she smiles at one of the very few friendly faces she's seen in Seattle. "Dr. Shepherd. Still here, I see." Addison smirks as she speaks again. "I couldn't leave you." Burke smiles at her, and she decides to give the Derek search another try. "Have you seen the other Dr. Shepherd?" Burke's face lets her know he hasn't, and she tells herself he's going to have to exercise a lot of self-control if he mentions the OR board. "I'll tell him you're looking for him." Addison nods at him, thankful for the new answer, and she looks at him as he walks away towards Cristina, leaving her alone and on her way to the cafeteria again.
Addison keeps walking towards the cafeteria, looking around for Derek but almost resigned to the fact that he is, indeed, avoiding her, and she picks a salad when she gets there, frowning slightly at the sight of the hospital food. She should be used to it after all these years, but she still finds it as disgusting as ever. She sits at one of the tables and sets the tray in front of her, and she's about to start eating when her phone rings and the screen flashes the very familiar name.
"Hey, Addie! How are you doing?"
"Much better. Thanks for the juju, by the way." She sits back on the chair, and Mark's voice shows he's smiling when he speaks again. "Anytime. When are you and our fetus coming back?" She chuckles slightly, swallowing the piece of lettuce she was eating before replying. "Hasn't Weiss told you what Sav told him I told her?" Mark takes a second to speak again. "You lost me on Weiss, Addie." She laughs slightly louder this time, making a few of the people in the cafeteria look at her as if they'd seen a ghost. Then again, a ghost was probably more usual in the hospital than a happy and laughing Addison. "I'll be there soon. Just have to find Derek so he can give me the papers, and the divorce should only take a few days." Mark nods on the other side of the line, and his voice sounds serious when he speaks again. "You haven't seen him yet?"
"Not yet. I've been looking for him for hours." She hears Mark sigh on the other side of the phone, and she's glad to be able to share her frustration with someone. "You don't… you don't think he's gonna want to give it another go, do you?" Addison can't suppress a chuckle when she hears his words. "And give up his whirlwind romance with the cute little intern? I don't think so." Mark surprises her when he doesn't join in on her laughter. "He may not be as stupid as he looks like, Addie."
Addison shakes her head softly. "He's going to sign those papers, Mark. In his own words, he can't wait to see me hop on my broomstick and fly back to Manhattan." Mark snorts on the other side of the line. "He may be even more stupid than he looks like, then." Addison chuckles slightly at his words. "I think both of us have done plenty of stupid things lately." And Mark is glad that she can't see the hurt in his face when he hears the last words. He is her stupid thing, after all.
"But, hey, this will be over soon. We can move on with all of this, he can have his intern, I can go back home, and we may even be able to go back to being friends, eventually." Mark shakes his head, but he decides not to tell her he doubts that's ever going to happen. He'd rather have happy Addison in denial than sobbing Addison in touch with reality. "You never know, right?" Addison smiles and nods at his words. "You never know."
Addison uses the silence that follows to eat another bite of her salad, and Mark speaks before she can swallow. "Addie? Are you chewing something?" She swallows and blushes slightly. "Salad. I'm sorry, I know I'm disgusting. I blame Blob for making me hungry." Mark chuckles at that. "That's okay, feeding Blob is more important than your manners. Are you eating lunch alone? I didn't think you were capable of that." She smiles and shrugs slightly as she takes a sip of her water. "I'm getting used to it. I like to think it's training for my new life as a single woman."
"We can still have lunch together when you come back. Single women do have lunch with their friends, you know." Addison chuckles slightly into the phone. "You know what I meant." He does know. She meant she's going to be single when she comes back, and is apparently happy about it. She meant there's no way her divorce will mean she'll go back to him. Give him a second chance. She meant he's being delusional when he thinks he still has a chance at being with her. "I know, Addie." And he suddenly isn't in the mood for talking anymore. "I'll let you go back to your salad. Call me, okay?" Addison nods as she speaks again. "Okay. Bye, Mark."
"Goodbye, Addie."
Addison finishes her lunch a few minutes later and goes back to the surgical wing, hoping to find Derek this time. She's walking towards one of the rooms when the lights go out and she stops in her tracks. If there's one place where the lights should never stop working, that's the surgical wing of a hospital. She decides Richard is probably the one to ask if she wants to know whether everything's under control, and she sighs annoyed when she sees the elevators aren't working. She heads to the stairwell and is about to start walking upstairs when she hears Richard's voice calling her name behind her, and she turns around to face him.
"Richard. Is everything all right?"
Richard hands her a piece of paper instead of an answer, and she starts reading it as they walk through the dark corridor. Lightning hit a sub station. We're running on backup generators. One of them is down." Richard puts his hands on his hips and looks at her as if everything was her fault. "Richard. Breathe." Richard stops walking and gives her a look that lets her know she shouldn't have said anything. "The only direct means of transportation from the ER to the OR isn't working. Don't tell me to breathe. I'll breathe if I wanna breathe."
He starts walking towards Bailey and Burke, who are watching as some people try to open one of the elevators. Addison decides to follow him, and she shakes her head when Burke tells them there are two interns and a GSW to the chest inside the locked elevator. This is bad. Richard puts his hand to his forehead in frustration, and she decides he needs someone to talk to him before he has a heart attack. "Good air in, bad air out." Richard's annoyed looks let her know her advice wasn't appreciated, and she decides to leave before things get even uglier.
"I should get going. Doctors."
Addison walks away and asks the nurses if there are any laboring women that may need her help. After making sure she isn't needed at the hospital and seeing Derek's name on the board next to a surgery that's taking place right now, Addison decides to walk outside and find something to do. Her first day off in Seattle wasn't supposed to go like this. Actually, her stay in Seattle wasn't supposed to be long enough for her to have a day off.
She spots a bar across the street from the hospital, and she decides it looks like a good place to kill some time until Derek's surgery is over. Maybe if she'd had this idea a few years ago, she would have spent her nights having fun at a bar instead of crying at home. Then again, she's not sure alcoholism is better than adultery, so maybe it was for the best. Addison walks into the cozy bar moments later, and she sits at one of the stools at the bar, smiling at the friendly looking bartender when he approaches her.
"What can I get you?"
"I'll have a…" She suddenly realizes a bar isn't really the best option for a pregnant woman. "I really didn't think this through." The bartender chuckles and she speaks again. "I suppose there's no such thing as a virgin appletini, right?" The bartender shakes his head, amused. "I can offer you an apple juice, though." Addison nods and thanks him with a smile.
"So, new in town?"
Addison nods and takes a sip of her juice when he puts it on the bar in front of her. "I've been here for two weeks. Do I give out a tourist-y vibe?" The bartender chuckles and goes back to cleaning some glasses. "The appletini gave you away." Addison nods and smiles, glad to meet someone who doesn't know her at all. It's refreshing after two weeks. "Doctor, right?" She nods again. "I am. What told you that? The non-alcoholic drink?" The bartender laughs as he speaks again. "Everyone's a doctor in here. The non-alcoholic drink made me doubt you were one, actually. I'm Joe, by the way."
Addison shakes his hand with a smile. "You're good at the guessing game. Addison Shepherd." Joe's smile falters slightly at her words. "Shepherd? You're Dr. Shepherd's wife?" So much for finding someone who didn't know her. Addison nods softly as she speaks again. "I prefer to say he's Dr. Shepherd's husband, but that works too. I guess you hate me by proxy, right?" Joe smiles and shakes his head. "I'm the friendly bartender. I don't hate anyone." Addison half-smiles, unconvinced, and Joe speaks again. "Why don't you leave the guessing game to me? You kind of suck at it." Addison laughs and takes another sip of her juice. "Sounds good to me."
Addison orders a second juice when she finishes her first, and decides stepping into the bar was a very good idea after all. Friendly conversation with a stranger and pretending she's not actually drinking apple juice was exactly what she needed. "You know, you're really not as scary as I thought you would be." Addison chuckles and cocks her eyebrow. "Seriously? Because I'm at my scariest when I'm laughing and being friendly." It's Joe's turn to laugh now, and she smiles as she finishes her drink. "I can see why people would be intimidated, though." Addison decides to take it as a compliment. "Thanks, Joe."
They keep talking for a while, Addison having more fun than she'd had in weeks and not even thinking about Derek for a while, and she stops mid-laugh when Joe stops talking to look at the door. Addison looks over her shoulder to follow his gaze, and her smile fades when she sees Bailey's interns walking into the bar. Meredith's eyes meet hers, and she decides this isn't the best time to play a power game with Derek's intern. She sighs softly and reaches into her purse, but Joe's voice stops her before she can get her wallet. "It's on the house." Addison smiles and puts on her coat. "Thanks. For the friendly conversation, too." He nods as she starts walking again.
"It was a pleasure, Dr. Shepherd."
She walks into the hospital minutes later, knowing Derek should be out of surgery by now and hoping she'll find him soon. She exhales relieved when she sees him sitting in the lobby, and walks up to him. "I have been looking everywhere for you." Derek doesn't look at her when she speaks again. "Well… you found me." Addison suppresses the urge to whack him upside the head and scream at him the exact number of hours she's spent playing hide and seek with him, but she decides this is probably not the time nor the place for that. "So? You're gonna give me those papers or not?" Derek looks at her for a moment before he finally replies.
"No."