CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Doug Penhall

Time slipped away from us; five minutes went by, ten minutes flew by and before we knew it, twenty minutes had come and gone. We were still on the floor and we were still in the middle of possibly the best make-out session I have ever taken part in and we had no plans of stopping. If you could imagine yourself in my shoes: I'm kissing someone who I recently came out to with my feelings and we were celebrating with a little bit of tonsil hockey, except we were participating in another version of tonsil hockey that only allowed us to wear pants. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we were on our way to going to third base, or maybe the home stretch if time allowed us, but time was not on our side. And suddenly, as a knock sounded at the door, I realized there was someone on the other side of the door. It felt so nice, being here with Tom and playing hockey that I didn't think to realize who it was at the door. So a minute went by, and me thinking it was nobody, I ignored it (I don't even think Tom heard it). One thing we did hear? The door swing open and Fuller's deep voice.

"What the hell do you guys think you're doin'?" he growled.

Tom and I immediately put an end to our 'hockey game' and shot to our feet. Fuller slammed the door shut and walked towards us. He didn't like what he saw. We knew we'd be in for a lecture about dating in the workplace, or maybe he was just freaked out because we were two lady-loving men who were in love with each other. He could be a very open-minded person, but under the circumstances he found us under I could see why he wasn't.

"Well obviously you two are okay," The anger in his face started to fade. "Otherwise you wouldn't be on the floor thinking this was a whore house."

"Sir…" I started.

"Your fellow cop, your friend, Ioki is currently with a pair of psychos and you're in here… doing this."

"It's our way of saying hello to one another," I joked. "And sir, I haven't had the chance to greet you…"

"Don't get cute with me, Penhall." warned Fuller. "Get your shirts on and let's go."

"You know, sir, a good way to start off your day is to say hello to your friends." Tom teased.

"You get those lips near me, Hanson and I will knock you and Penhall to the moon."

"I've not been there before," I said as he turned to Tom. "What about you, Hanson?"

"I've never been! Do you think they have mini-bars?"

"Probably that astronaut food-"

"Excuse me!" Fuller exclaimed. "Do you see me smiling?"

"No, but you know what always makes me smile, sir?" I asked.

"Penhall, I'm warning you…"

"A good knock-knock joke."

"Yeah?" Fuller asked. "Well knock-knock."

"Who's there?"

"Getcho."

"Getcho who?"

"Getcho ass out there before I throw you out there."

Tom and I made our way out to the car, shirts in hand, still smiling. Aggravating Fuller was probably one of my favorite hobbies and it was all in good fun. He knew we were only trying to lighten the mood. We knew Ioki was out there but we knew that we couldn't do anything until Fuller got there. Besides, the criminals weren't so good at being criminals, they weren't going to hurt Ioki… or at least I hoped not.

We sat in the back of Fuller's car and shortly after the car took off I noticed Tom's eyes were on their way to closing. I gently slapped his arm.

"Hey, man. You feelin' okay?" I asked. His eyes fluttered open and he looked at me.

"Yeah, just the darts," Tom said with a shrug. "You know, still making me woozy."

"Yeah me too."

"Well wake up, guys," Fuller said while glancing back through the rearview mirror. "You're going undercover."

"Are we going after Calvin and Sandra?" Tom asked curiously.

"Sort of." Fuller shrugged. "Calvin is affiliated with Bruno Briggs, a hefty guy who owns a bar downtown. The folks at the Tennessee police office say he's a lady's man with a big mouth. I need you guys to go to the bar and get some information from him – he should know where Calvin and Sandra are."

"Why would Calvin tell Bruno his whereabouts when he's on the run?"

"Calvin owes Bruno big money from when he borrowed to try and pay for their daughter's expenses," explained Fuller. "He's promised to give him some of the ransom money when he gets it. If Bruno doesn't know where Calvin is he'll assume Calvin ran off with the money and come after and kill him."

"So he needs to cover his tail," I figured out loud. "Just so he and his family aren't hunted down."

"Exactly. The easiest way to get Bruno to open his mouth is by sweet talkin' him and he loves women…"

"Ugh," moaned Tom. "I'm not dressing up like a woman. I always end up being the woman."

"You're not dressing up like a woman," Fuller pointed out. "You and Penhall are dressing up like women. And you're both going to seduce him and you're both going to come back with information."

"Why can't Judy do this?" I asked. "She's a woman ya know."

"She's still working with the RV trying to get evidence and clues."

"I've heard you're the romancin' kind," I teased Fuller. "We could just watch over your car and you could-"

"I don't look good in tights." He replied. "But you and Hanson are the two most feminine looking guys I know."

"Well, gee, thanks, Captain," laughed Hanson. "It's good to know you think of us highly."

"The only men on my force who could work high heels." Fuller laughed. "Okay, we're pulling around a corner and guys?"

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Keep the kissing to a minimum when you're around him, k?"

"I could never imagine kissing a guy named 'Bruno' anyway."

"I meant you two kissing each other. You'll be sisters for this case and well," Fuller pulled into a parking spot and turned off the car. "We don't need anyone thinking you're in love with each other when you're 'blood related'."

"You know," I started. "In some countries it's only natural to marry your siblings."

"Penhall…" Fuller sighed.

"Okay, okay. No kissing." Gee, couldn't the guy take a joke? Well, then again, if he had enough humor to tell a knock-knock joke and dress his officers in heels, then he probably had a decent sense of humor. Me in a dress – that's a joke itself.