A/N - And finally, I give you Cerberus coup attempt, TTK-style XD... Tons of changes here, some subtle, some huge, but one thing doesn't change, so tissue warning! Obviously, you know things will be different since Kaidan is on the crew, but the other changes... I got really sick and tired of how stupid Shepard is during some of these missions ("C-Sec HQ? What's that?")... I get why it is that way in game, but it would never work in fics... so I had to fix!
Thanks so much for your reviews, Gabe97, Meggo929, AirForceBrat, JasielStael, and Lyv... Your feedback keeps me going! To everyone else out there reading, following, favoriting, thank you for the gift of your time!
All credit for everything ME belongs to Bioware, and I thank them for their amazing efforts! I also thank StoneburntHeart for her incredible beta, support, and general fan-girling!
Out of curiosity and determination to prove Javik wrong, Shepard put him on the squad when they reached the planet Utukku to rendezvous with Aralakh Company and search for Wrex's missing scouts. Not even Javik's typically blunt and caustic commentary diminished her joy at their reunion with Grunt, though. Both Kaidan and Shepard spent long moments catching up with their krogan 'son' before they headed off to start their search – and were unceremoniously dumped into the caves by an overbalance of the storage shed they were exploring.
They quickly confirmed the presence of rachni, though after their discovery on Tuchanka, it was hardly surprising. Here, Shepard was glad to find that Javik was as deadly and efficient in combat as she expected, and they quickly worked their way through the Reaper troops and to the central cavern. When she discovered the rachni queen, trapped in the Reaper's horrific chains and begging once again for her freedom, she felt the weight of all four Javik's eyes upon her as she struggled with her decision. In the end, despite her concern for Grunt, the queen was still too valuable a resource to lose, and she ordered Aralakh Company to hold off the Reapers to give her time to escape.
The choice weighed heavily on her shoulders on the way back to the shuttle, and she moved slower than usual, hoping that she hadn't sacrificed yet another friend to this bloody war. Kaidan hovered protectively at her shoulder. He didn't criticize her choice, either in word or action, but she knew he was suffering over the loss of Grunt, too, and that added to her guilt. When they reached the shuttle and heard Grunt call from behind them, they both turned to him with joy. They hurried to help him onto the shuttle, and Shepard breathed a sigh of relief. Once they got back to the Normandy, she could turn Grunt over to Chakwas' skilled hands and feel better about the result of their mission.
When they reached the Normandy, Traynor notified them that the salarian councilor was waiting to speak with Shepard in the com room. She entrusted Grunt to Kaidan and Javik, who headed off to deck 3 to deposit their charge in the med-bay, while Shepard headed to deck 2 to see what Valern wanted. She listened with grim suspicion to the councilor's concerns about the financial oddities of Donnel Udina, and gave her promise to meet with the councilor in person ASAP. Since she wanted to have Grunt transferred to an actual medical facility, the Citadel had been her destination of choice anyway. She stopped at the CIC to plot her course and check in with Joker, then headed down to the med-bay to check on the patient.
#-#-#
When they reached the Widow System, Joker called her to the cockpit. She stood from the couch in Starboard Obs, where she and Kaidan had been working, and set her datapads aside to comply. She shrugged at Kaidan's questioning look and headed to the elevator. Once in the cockpit, she overheard Joker communicating with Alliance docking control.
"Alliance control, this is the SSV Normandy, are we cleared to descend?" he called.
Silence was the only reply and she walked up behind his chair. Joker turned to her with a shake of his head and confused look, and she realized this was the reason he had called her.
"Alliance control, this is Normandy, we're headed to bay 1-4, Zakera Ward. Are we cleared to descend?" Joker tried again, with no success. He sent and extremely frustrated look to Shepard, who returned it with a look of confusion.
"What the hell's going on down there?" Joker voiced the question for everyone in the cockpit. "Even if there were a station malfunction, they'd have backups online." He reached for his control console again, muttering, "I've got a bad feeling here. Checking emergency channels." After a brief pause, he must have gotten a reply because Shepard heard him begin a conversation. "Hey, yeah, this is Joker. Uh huh. Yeah, no kidding." Finally, he turned to Shepard and announced, "Commander, there's a communication from Thane. He says it's important. Think you'll want to hear this."
"Put him through," Shepard replied. Joker pressed another button and Thane's voice filled the cockpit a moment later.
"Shepard, the Citadel is under attack. Cerberus troops are everywhere... and they're in control of the docks."
"Are you safe?" Shepard asked with concern bleeding into her voice. She had caught up with Thane in the Huerta lobby when she had visited Kaidan after Palaven, but she hadn't seen him since.
"No," was the blunt reply and her heart sank, though he added the explanation, "I had to evade their commandos at the hospital. I'm in a Presidium storefront, but I'm headed to C-Sec headquarters."
"Why C-Sec?" she questioned, trying to shove aside the growing worry.
"It's been compromised, and C-Sec's response depends on it," Thane explained. "As long as Cerberus is holding the headquarters, they have the station."
"What about the Council?" Shepard asked, almost as an after-thought.
"There's a Spectre named Bau on the station, when Cerberus attacked, I heard him say he was headed to protect the Council," Thane reported.
"Alright, Joker, get us away from the dock and close to C-Sec HQ," she ordered. "We'll deploy in the shuttle," she called over her shoulder as she headed out of the cockpit. She didn't wait for his response before she called for Kaidan and Garrus to meet her on Deck 5. If she was going to go against Cerberus again, she'd take the two people on board that knew them as well as she did.
#-#-#
As Cortez flew them expertly closer to the Zakera Ward landing closest to their target location, Shepard peered at the sight out the open shuttle doors. Although the area was usually bustling with commerce, it now appeared like any warzone. C-Sec officers were pinned down and Cerberus forces had the advantage of both numbers and firepower. They were systematically picking off each of the friendlies. As they hovered over the landing, Shepard glanced to her right and left and saw Kaidan and Garrus perched to follow her out.
"Ok, people, coming in hot!" she called to them. "Get to cover!" and she jumped down the short distance to ground, tucking into a roll on her landing and finding cover herself. She checked again and saw Kaidan and Garrus were safe, too. She nodded and raised her rifle to attack the Cerberus assault trooper engaged with the C-Sec officer directly beyond her cover, and surveyed the battlefield. When she ducked back, she motioned to her squad, prepared to issue orders.
"I need you guys to handle those turrets," she ordered, pointing to the two mechanical enemies set up dead center of the aisle leading to their goal. "I'm going east, to try to flank those guys at the top of the stairs," she continued. "Once the turrets are gone, take out the stragglers and cover me," she finished and saw them nod acknowledgment. It wasn't a terribly creative or involved strategy, but she didn't need one for Kaidan and Garrus. A simple place to start and take it from there would work for a squad that knew and trusted each other as well as they did. She had no doubts they'd succeed, and didn't give any more thought to the issue before she charged the group of Cerberus troopers to the right.
She wasn't wrong, and despite the fact that Cerberus deployed reinforcements throughout the short fight, she and her squad reached the top of the stairs and the familiar figure crouched there with relative ease.
"Shepard!" she heard Bailey cry sharply as she approached him. She motioned to Kaidan who knelt in front of the C-Sec Commander and deployed his omni-tool to perform his field medic duties. As she turned her attention to Bailey, he continued speaking. "I saw those Cerberus troops on you, and I thought you were done for."
"Bailey," she greeted him with a somewhat cocky grin. "You know me better than that!" she admonished him. "What are you doing here?" she added once he grinned back sheepishly.
"Getting my ass shot off trying to retake headquarters," he answered in a typical grumble. "Cerberus took it in the first push. We gotta kick them out of there. Everyone in C-Sec is flying blind without the network." He grunted as Kaidan continued to work on his wound.
"How bad's the situation?" Garrus stepped into his old C-Sec role to question. "Do you know if the Councilors are alive?"
Kaidan stood back and nodded to Shepard that Bailey was as good as he could get him. She offered the man a hand and he took it gratefully. She helped him to his feet before he turned to Garrus to answer his question.
"They split up," he reported. "I'll know more if I can access the terminal inside."
"Can you get us in?" Shepard asked him.
"I'll get the door," Bailey replied as he limped over to the control panel, his hand still against the wound in his side. "If no one interrupts me with a bullet this time," he shot back over his shoulder in an irascible growl that made Shepard grin. Bailey would be just fine.
The door opened seconds later, and Shepard led them through it, guns drawn. The room was clear and she motioned back to Bailey, who walked over to the nearby desk and sat. He began to work at the terminal there.
"Here we go," he muttered. "C-Sec network access, courtesy of Cerberus."
"What can you tell us?" Kaidan asked, looking almost disappointed that he didn't have to hack them into the system.
"Cerberus has control of the main channels, but I'm setting up a new one," Bailey answered. "Without it, our people have no plan and no chance," he added with a shrug. "Hello..." he said when he read something surprising on the terminal after a pause.
"What have you got?" Shepard said as she heard his tone of interest.
"A warning from Councilor Valern," Bailey replied. "He's supposed to be here, meeting with the executor," he added with a glance at Shepard. "Be on guard – the likelihood of betrayal from within is high..." he read off the message with a frown on his face. "Not a lot else. But if he's inside..."
"The Councilor wanted me to come here and meet with him," Shepard reported. "If he was talking to the Executor..."
"Usually that happens when someone big is going to be prosecuted," Bailey added on to her thought. "I guess that someone had Cerberus friends."
"The Councilor did mention Udina," Shepard replied with a frown. "But it's... insane. Udina working with Cerberus? And does he even have that kind of pull?"
"Enough pull to get me a Spectre position," Kaidan pointed out. "And I guess now we know why he did it," he added with a frown of his own.
"You deserve the position or the other Councilors wouldn't have voted for you," Shepard told him to head off any self-doubts. "But why would Cerberus want you to have it?" she asked, not understanding his reasoning.
"What's the one thing the Illusive Man would try to do to delay or undermine you?" Kaidan asked her pointedly.
"Keep us separated," she answered and had an 'aha' moment as she saw his point. "And it almost worked..." she added bitterly.
"Wasn't gonna happen," Kaidan countered with a shake of his head. "That's why you keep winning – he always underestimates you. One way or another, I wasn't leaving your side... You just pointed out that I could do it as a Spectre."
"So we need to get to the councilor and find out what he knows," Shepard replied with a nod.
"The executor's office is a fairly defensible position," Garrus offered. "He could be there still."
"Then we'll head there," Shepard replied with a nod. She turned to head out of the office, but Kaidan placed a hand on her arm to stop her.
"Bailey can you patch us in to your channel?" he asked the C-Sec commander as he opened his omni-tool.
"Good idea," Bailey replied with a nod, and pressed a few buttons on the terminal to establish the link. "There, now we can talk by omni-tool," he told them when it was complete.
Kaidan nodded his thanks and fell into formation. Shepard led them out, deeper into C-Sec headquarters.
#-#-#
As they picked through Cerberus forces on the way to the central elevator, Shepard used the link Kaidan had established to the C-Sec channel to update Thane. They learned that he was approaching from the opposite direction, and they planned to rendezvous with him at the executor's office. Bailey provided them with constant updates and feedback from the cameras he was able to monitor. In return, they had to report the unfortunate news that none of his officers had survived the attack. As they pressed on, Shepard noticed the grim set of Garrus' jaw and felt a twinge of guilt that she had brought him on this mission. It couldn't be easy to see people he had once fought beside, some of them friends, meet this fate. The sympathy she felt made her all the more frustrated and determined every time they reached a new pocket of Cerberus troops. She fought with abandon, moving them closer and closer to where they hoped Councilor Valern had found safety.
When they reached the executor's office finally, it was empty except for several corpses.
"Bailey, it looks like they got the executor and two salarian bodyguards," Shepard reported.
"Damn, alright keep searching," Bailey urged. "If you don't see the councilor's body, don't count him out yet."
Shepard turned her head to the wall of windows bordering the councilor's office and saw Kaidan wave her over. She came to stand by his side and looked in the direction he was pointing. The windows looked out over a wide open office below, and she caught the slight movement of one of the desk chairs. Councilor Valern uncloaked and stood beside the desk, looking startled that he had been noticed.
"Found him," she reported to Bailey. "He looks unharmed."
"Get him somewhere safe," Bailey called back.
As she moved to exit the room and comply with Bailey's request, another motion out the window caught her eye. A man in Cerberus armor jumped down from the ceiling and moved to attack Valern. Shepard motioned Kaidan and Garrus out the room, and broke the glass in front of her with her pistol. She jumped to the floor below and placed herself between the councilor and the would-be assassin. His oriental features were concealed behind a mask, and he wore his long dark hair pulled back in a ponytail, she noted. More alarmingly, he wielded a long knife that was reminiscent of the Japanese swords she had read about in her history lessons in one hand and was readying a mass effect field with the other. A biotic ninja? she thought with a mental shake of her head. That was new. She raised her pistol and pointed it at the intruder.
"Don't even think about it," she warned as the man didn't lower his weapons.
"Shepard, he's going to kill us all," Valern hissed in a loud whisper.
"That remains to be seen," she answered levelly, not taking her eyes off the Cerberus assassin.
"I mean Udina," Valern clarified. "He's staging a coup. He's got the other councilors now – to hand over to Cerberus."
"Three on one, now," Shepard ignored Valern for now and spoke only to the intruder. Kaidan and Garrus took their places beside her, weapons also drawn, illustrating her statement. "It's over," she told the attacker.
"No, now it's fun," the man replied, speaking for the first time in a low, malevolent voice. He shifted slightly, as if to begin his attack, but the sound of a pistol cocking beside his head froze him momentarily. All eyes turned toward the sound and they saw that Thane had joined the standoff and now had his own weapon drawn on the assassin.
After that first moment of surprise, the man sprang into action, attacking Thane with his fists, driving him back and disarming him. The two tussled together while Shepard pushed Valern out of the way and behind cover. She stood, pistol drawn, but she didn't have a shot. She glanced to Garrus and Kaidan and saw her frustration reflected in their eyes. They watched as the two threw each other to the ground and the assassin disappeared before Thane could recover. He was inhumanly fast.
All eyes searched for sight of the enemy, but it was the sound of him drawing his sword from his sheath that gave him away. He uncloaked just to Thane's left with his blade drawn. Thane turned to him, pistol raised and fired off several shots, but the intruder danced around with lightning quick reflexes and dodged them while he closed ground on Thane. He drew his sword back and began to swing it, intending to decapitate his opponent, but Thane ducked under the blow. He recovered and delivered several well-placed kicks and a biotic punch that set the enemy flying back in a skid.
Thane retrieved his pistol from the ground nearby and drew it on the attacker. The two moved toward each other, almost in slow motion as Thane repeatedly fired on the approaching man. The shots bounced harmlessly off his heavily armored opponent. Right before they collided, Thane jumped into the air and delivered another biotic punch to the other man's face as he came down. Unfortunately, that left his torso vulnerable and the assassin took the opening, sliding his sword through Thane's abdomen. He pulled his sword back out with a growl and ran off, as Thane slumped to the ground in a bloody heap.
"Thane!" Shepard cried as she ran to his side.
Kaidan was right beside her, omni-tool deployed. She motioned to Garrus who took up pursuit of the attacker, firing wildly as he ran after him. Shepard and Kaidan rolled Thane to his back. He was still conscious and Shepard sat back on her haunches and held her breath as Kaidan worked. Garrus returned minutes later, shaking his head.
"He escaped on a waiting shuttle," he reported apologetically.
Shepard turned back to Kaidan who just shook his head slightly. Thane caught the grim report, but gasped for breath to speak.
"I have time," he told them. "Catch him."
Shepard shook her head again but Thane coughed and spoke again. "You need to protect the council, Siha," he reminded her gently.
Kaidan placed a hand on her shoulder in silent support of Thane's urging, and Shepard nodded. She stood and squared her shoulders, gathering her resolve. She led them out to find a shuttle to pursue the assassin.
#-#-#
Along the way, she updated Bailey on the situation and requested medical help for Thane. He advised them that the Council was being taken to a shuttle pad on the Presidium, so they headed their own shuttle in that direction. The assassin wasn't done ruining Shepard's day, though, and jumped to their car mid-route, and used his blade to stab through their engine, then escaping in a waiting aircar. They crashed to the Presidium far short of their target. Bailey reported that the Council was being ushered to the shuttle pad above Shalimar Plaza, accompanied by Udina. They forced their way through wave upon wave of Cerberus invaders, and Shepard congratulated herself on her squad choice. She regretted the pain Garrus had suffered at his C-Sec friends' deaths, but his tech skills combined with Kaidan's made the fights against armored and barriered opponents much easier than they would have been without. They finally reached the bank of elevators that Bailey advised them would lead to the Council's destination and Shepard stood aside as the guys pried the doors open. They jumped on top of the car and Bailey set it in motion.
"Tell me that assassin hasn't reached the Council," Shepard called to Bailey as they clung to the roof of the elevator car.
"He's trying, but I'm making his car stop on every floor," Bailey reported drily.
"Nice," Shepard said with an approving grin.
They caught up with the assassin's elevator moments later and shot out the exposed power conduits below it to stop its progress. The delay only served to increase Cerberus' efforts, and they sent a wave of sword-wielding phantoms down to them. They fought them off, though the tight quarters made it tricky.
"Shepard, bad news," Bailey reported moments later.
"Is there any other kind?" she replied sarcastically.
"That hit man jumped to another elevator," Bailey told her, ignoring the sarcasm. "And he's overridden my controls. He's on his way up, I can't stop him."
"I'll handle it," Shepard growled back.
After dispatching another wave of Cerberus forces, they caught up with the Council's elevator. They jumped to the roof and dodged shots that rang out from below them. The car came to a stop and Shepard opened the hatch on its roof and jumped down. They exited the elevator, weapons drawn, and encountered the rest of the council, escorted by Spectre Jondam Bau. Shepard motioned to Kaidan and Garrus who sealed the doors behind them. They turned back to the Council, all three weapons drawn and trained on the salarian Spectre, who stood his ground and glared at her.
"What is the meaning of this, Shepard?" Bau demanded.
"Shepard's blocking our escape, she's with Cerberus," Udina accused.
"Answer my question, Shepard," Bau said, ignoring Udina for now, but moving into better position in front of the Council.
"You said you believed in me before, Bau," Shepard reminded the other Spectre, "I need you to believe in me again. Spectre Alenko and I are here to protect the Council from Cerberus."
"And yet you stand there with weapons drawn on the people you're trying to protect?" Bau questioned, still suspicious.
Shepard motioned with her hand and Garrus and Kaidan lowered their pistols, though she kept hers drawn.
"We don't have time to negotiate," Shepard growled. "You've been fooled, all of you," she said, speaking to the Council at large. "Udina's behind this attack, Councilor Valern confirmed it."
"Please, you have no proof, you never do," Udina scoffed.
"There were Cerberus soldiers in the elevator shaft behind us," Shepard said with a wave to indicate the sealed doors. "If you open those doors, they'll kill you all."
"We've mistrusted Shepard before," Tevos stepped in to point out. "And it did not help us."
"We don't have time to debate this," Udina said desperately. "We're dead if we stay out here. I'm overriding the lock," he told them as he began to move toward a nearby control panel.
"I better not regret this," Bau said as he lowered his pistol. "You weren't wrong before, I hope you're not wrong this time," he added threateningly at Shepard, but he stepped aside.
"I'm not," Shepard told him reassuringly.
"Udina, step back from the console," Bau called, training his pistol on the human councilor now.
"To hell with this," Udina growled and went back to his work.
Tevos approached him, grabbing his arm, and he threw her back. She fell to the ground with a squeak. Udina stood over her and drew his pistol.
"Gun!" someone cried and Shepard reacted before she even thought. She turned her pistol and fired, striking Udina in the chest and killing him instantly.
They whirled to face the elevator as the sound of a torch cutting through metal rang out around them.
"The door!" Sparatus called, pointed out the obvious.
They trained their weapons on the portal and seconds later, it opened to reveal Commander Bailey, weapon also at the ready, and several C-Sec officers.
"Bailey?" Shepard questioned in surprise as she lowered her pistol.
"Made it as fast as we could, Shepard," Bailey explained as he also holstered his pistol. "Looks like you, uh, took care of things," he added as he looked beyond her to where Udina lay dead.
"Something's not right," Councilor Tevos broke in to say. "You said Cerberus was targeting us... Where did their soldiers go?"
"Cerberus was right here," Bailey confirmed. "But they beat feet into the Keeper tunnels when they figured out we were coming. Sorry, Councilor," he said with an apologetic shrug to Tevos, "I'll say it plain... Shepard just saved the lot of you."
"Then you have saved my life twice now, Shepard," Sparatus said. "I owe you both a personal debt and one on behalf of Palaven."
"You don't owe me anything, Councilor," Shepard said with a serious look. "Times like these, we all stand together."
"Commander, do you have any idea why the Illusive Man would do this?" Sparatus pressed.
"No I don't," Shepard replied. It had been a question on the top of her mind as well, so she tempered the truth with another one, "But I plan to find out."
Sparatus nodded and Bailey stepped in to order his people to get the Council to safety and begin cleaning the mess. Shepard turned to him and got his attention.
"Thane?" she asked with a worried look.
"They took him to Huerta Memorial," Bailey replied. "Should be safe enough now if you want to go check on him."
Shepard nodded gratefully and motioned the squad out.
#-#-#
In the elevator, Kaidan managed to convince Shepard to head to the Normandy first, pointing out in a reasonable tone that she needed to change out of her armor and update Hackett on the coup attempt. She nodded tiredly and didn't argue, which worried him more than anything. She kept the briefing short, though she told him once she left the com room that Anderson had joined in, and that he was forwarding information on the Cerberus assassin. Apparently he had encountered him before. Kaidan's heart lightened for the first time that day when she also related that Anderson had told her that Caleb was still safe and under guard at the orchard.
He followed her back through the airlock and onto the Citadel and noticed the heavy guard stationed everywhere. He nodded in approval. It may be too little, too late, but it was a start. They entered the elevator and headed to the hospital. They walked passed the chaos in the lobby and Kaidan noted almost distantly the sounds of people wailing and suffering. The coup attempt had far-reaching effects, and these people were the most obvious face of that. But right now, his biggest concern was Shepard. She walked slowly, tiredly in front of him and he watched her with a worried eye. He knew despite the good news about Caleb, killing Udina weighed heavy on her shoulders, and he was fairly sure this hospital visit wouldn't have a good ending.
They were stopped in the hall outside the patient rooms by an officious looking doctor. Once he established who they were here to visit, Kaidan saw his guess confirmed by the look on the man's face. Shepard didn't want to hear it, though, and tried to convince the doctor that she could help, could do something for their friend. The kindly man finally just advised her to say her goodbyes and left them outside Thane's door. Kaidan took her hand and they walked in the room together. Thane was huddled on the bed, and his son Kolyat looked up in greeting as they entered.
"Commander Shepard, Commander Alenko," Kolyat nodded to each of them in greeting. "Thank you for coming. I don't know if you remember me," he added almost as an afterthought. "I'm Kolyat Krios, I came to donate blood and... well..." he trailed off as he looked down at his father.
Shepard took the few steps from the door to the bedside, standing opposite Kolyat, while Kaidan stayed by the door. He and Thane had said their goodbyes when the drell visited him when he was in the hospital. They were both realistic and had known that Thane was near the end of his life and that they may not have a chance later. Kaidan knew that Shepard had not made peace with things, though, and although she had known Thane was dying from the moment they had met, she had never accepted that he would actually die. It was her undying hope and dogged determination that both made her the strong leader that she was, and were going to hurt her the most today. All he could do was be there when she needed him.
Kaidan watched Shepard study Thane's reclining form – the drell was sleeping now, it seemed – until Kolyat spoke again and drew her attention back to him.
"He asked to take off his oxygen mask so that he could be comfortable," Kolyat said. "I don't think it will be long now," he added in a gentle voice, though Kaidan saw the words hit Shepard with the force of a physical blow.
"Your father helped me save a lot of lives," Shepard told him in her own gesture of comfort. "I'd like to be here."
"Of course," Kolyat said softly. They turned their attention back to Thane as he stirred on the bed between them.
"Siha, I'm afraid I won't be joining you again," Thane greeted her solemnly. He groaned in obvious pain.
"You've done more than enough, Thane," Shepard said in a low pained tone.
"That assassin should be embarrassed," Thane told her around a fit of coughing. "A terminally ill drell managed to stop him from reaching his target."
"I'll pass the word along," Shepard replied drily.
"There is something I must do before this gets worse," Thane said, visibly struggling with his words.
"I must-" he cut off in a fit of coughing and Kaidan couldn't help but wince in sympathy.
Thane recovered himself a moment later and began to pray. "Kalahira, mistress of inscrutable depths, I ask forgiveness. Kalahira whose waves wear down stone and sand-" he broke off again as he coughed and gasped for air, but Kolyat took up the prayer without a beat.
"Kalahira, wash the sins from this one and set him on the distant shore of the infinite spirit," Kolyat prayed for his father with his head bent over clasped hands.
"Kolyat... you speak as the priests do," Thane spoke between panting breaths now. "You have been spending time with them." Not even the struggle for air and the rasp in his voice could disguise the pride he felt at that realization.
Kolyat simply nodded to confirm his father's words and moved to the other side of the bed. He approached Shepard and proffered a book in his hands.
"I brought a prayer book, Commander," he explained. "Would you care to join me?"
Kaidan saw Shepard nod painfully and cast her eyes down on the book. Kolyat began, as she studied Thane's still form.
"Kalahira, this one's heart is pure, but beset by wickedness and contention," he read.
Shepard turned to him when he paused and waited for her to continue. He pointed to the next line and Kaidan heard her voice ring out, reverence in her tone.
"Guide this one to where the traveler never tires, the lover never leaves, the hungry never starve," she recited. "Guide this one, Kalahira, and she will be a companion to you, as she was to me."
Kaidan felt emotion swamp him as he realized the meaning of the words, and the last gift their wise friend had given her, but he was distracted by a last gasp from the bed. Thane coughed gently one more time and then his head rolled peacefully away from them. He was dead. He watched Shepard stretch out a gentle, shaking hand and close Thane's eyes. She swiped at the tears on her face before she turned back to Kolyat with a questioning look.
"Kolyat, why did the last verse say she?" she asked in a broken voice.
"The prayer was not for him, Commander," Kolyat explained in a gentle voice. "He had already asked forgiveness for the lives he has taken. His wish was for you."
Shepard turned back to Thane, and her shoulders slumped visibly. "Goodbye, Thane," she whispered in a pained voice. "You won't be alone for long."
Kaidan stepped forward and gathered her to him. He nodded their goodbyes to Kolyat and left the drell to say his own goodbyes. He ushered Shepard out of the room and back to the Normandy without speaking. She didn't speak or protest the entire way, which only made his worry increase with every step.
#-#-#
Once they reached the loft, Kaidan drew Shepard to the seating area opposite their bed and encouraged her to sit. He took a seat beside her and pulled both her hands into his. She finally met his eyes and saw that his were filled with concern. She sighed and tried to make an effort, though she knew it was weak.
"I'm ok," she told him and mentally cringed at the broken sound of her voice.
"You're not," he countered firmly, "And that's ok. I know how much Thane meant to you, and it wasn't an easy day before that," he added softly.
"No, it wasn't..." she agreed. There were so many thoughts crowding her right now, she wanted nothing more than to shut them all off and just not feel, just keep moving forward and not dwell. "I keep going over everything... Cerberus, Udina..." she couldn't bear to add Thane to that list so she only did it mentally. She knew Kaidan heard it as if she had said their friend's name aloud.
"There's time for all of that," Kaidan said and drew her into his arms. "But I think you need to rest first."
"Hackett wants us to go to the Far Rim, something is up with the quarians and geth," she told him from the shelter of his arms, and she sounded as tired as she was.
"They've been fighting for 300 years, they'll wait a few days," Kaidan told her firmly.
"What are you saying?" she asked as she drew back to stare at his face in confusion.
"I'm saying, we should take a few days shore leave, give yourself time to rest... and heal," he said with a steady look. When she shook her head to protest, he continued speaking as if she hadn't. "You know Bailey could use some extra hands restoring order, and we could all use a break. This war isn't going to be won tomorrow, Shepard... It's a marathon, not a sprint. And losing Thane, so soon after Mordin... you need to take some time," he finished, nearly pleading with her.
She held his eyes for several long moments and saw the stress and worry in them. She might want to keep going, to not let recent events have a chance to sink to her, but he was showing signs of wear, too, and for him, she'd do anything. She finally nodded, giving silent acceptance of his suggestion. He drew her back in his arms and kissed the top of her head.
"I'll send a ship-wide message in the morning," he told her as he held her. "I'm sure everyone else will be happy for some shore leave, too."
Shepard laughed a bit and closed her eyes. "I'm sure they will," she murmured in agreement before she fell silent and let his comfort wash over her.