"Grant, don't you think we should wait until after my first doctors appointment?" I suggest, trying to delay the inevitable
"I don't plan on telling them about the baby yet Caroline. I meant our engagement. I don't think everyone, especially my mother, would be pleased that you got pregnant so quickly. And as far as the doctor, I was hoping that we could get you in tomorrow morning.
ENGAGEMENT? My head begins to spin and I feel incredibly nauseated. Engaged?!
I offer a weak smile.
"Have you eaten today, Caroline?" he asks, his tone serious. I haven't had much of an appetite lately, and I've been struggling to keep anything down.
"Yes, I had breakfast."
His face stiffens, and then it fades into a grin.
"How does some take-out Chinese sound?" His smile reminds me of a boy's, and I just want to kiss it.
As we sit cross-legged on my couch, dining on the best take out chinese I've ever had, we stare at each other quietly.
"So, where do you live?" I try to make conversation, actually curious on to where I'll more than likely be moving.
"Well, we live," he smiles, "In a penthouse of Desques, in Manhattan." he says, followed by a heaping mouthful of noodles. He looks so relaxed, and I'm really enjoying his company.
I giggle quietly.
"After my appointment tomorrow, can I go see it?"
"Of course, it's your apartment too, Caroline. And I actually intend on taking you there to stay tonight. Now, quit talking and keep eating!" His threat doesn't seem as serious since he's got a grin plastered to his face.
After we finish I collect our left overs and head towards the kitchen to store them in the fridge. For some reason left over chinese sounds great for breakfast.
As I bend down to place it in the fridge, I feel awful. I drop the chinese all over the floor and run to the bathroom as fast as I can.
My dinner comes rushing back, and Grant is no where in sight.
As I finish heaving the majority of my supper, I wash my face and hands. As I walk into the bedroom I note that it's only 6:30pm.
This day has been awfully long and strange. I woke up this morning prepared to be a single mother, and now I'm engaged and moving into what has to be an unbelievably expensive penthouse! Wait, is this even a real engagement? Or just a front he can show his parents so that the baby news won't be such a blow.
I step into the livingroom and see Grant in the kitchen cleaning up the food that spilt onto the floor.
"I'm sorry, I just figured that'd be better to clean than vomit," I laugh.
Only his face isn't so amused.
"I hope you don't expect to come to my apartment and make a fucking mess expecting for someone else to clean it up!" he shouts, obviously annoyed.
He is so up and down it makes me dizzy. Literally, I have to sit on the couch to prevent further sickness.
"Get dressed, Caroline. We're leaving."
"You don't have to be so rude with me Grant. And you can speak to me like a human, not a dog." I mutter under my breath, half hoping that he doesn't hear me.
"Excuse. Me?" he snaps.
"Nothing! Absolutely nothing!" I sing, fed up with his attitude.
As he stalks towards me, I place my hand over my belly.
"Grant, don't even think about touching me" I warn.
That's when I feel a sharp slap against my cheek. My vision turns red as my face burns.
I bury myself further into the couch anticipating the next blow. How can he hit a woman?! Especially one carrying his child? With one hand still placed on my stomach, and the other flung protectively over my head, I await further assault.
Instead of being hit, he grabs my arm and jerks me up from the couch. Except I don't land on my feet. My back slaps against the coffee table, knocking the air from my lungs.
"Please Grant, I'm sorry!" I choke out, trying to catch my breath.
He slaps me again, on the same cheek even harder than he did before.
"Please Grant!" I scream.
Obviously the whole "auto-pilot" excuse is complete bullshit. He's been here all afternoon, and he hasn't had a drop of alcohol.
I tremble quietly on the floor, attempting to shield his next blow.
But it doesn't come.
I slowly open my eyes and see him staring down at me, his eyes full of tears.
"Cari..." he pleads. He's gone too far. I can't do this! I'm not going to be a battered woman constantly holding her tongue in fear of the next lashing.
But something in his eyes make all of my rational thoughts dicipate.
I stay to the ground, my back throbbing from the fall. I don't think it could have affected the baby, but what if I would have taken the fall to my stomach? Oh god!
"You could've killed the baby Grant!" I shriek, my eyes burning worse than my face.
He falls to the floor in front of me. He rocks back and forth on his knees, with his hands in his face. Then I hear the sobs.
Don't feel bad for him! I try to convince myself to run. Instead I ease forward, my back screaming with pain.
"Grant, you can't hit me baby. I think you know it's not right" I whisper, trying to keep my words calm. I don't want to piss him off.
"Cari, I fucked up. I've taken Xanax the entire time I've been here!" he pulls a bottle out of his pocket and holds it out towards me. Slowly I take the bottle and see it is filled with pills.
"They make me crazy, Caroline. I mean, if I would take the prescribed amount I'd be fine, but when I take so many I feel intoxicated Cari. I...I..." he sobs, breathlessly.
He then grabs the bottle from my hands and heads towards the kitchen. I try to stand, however my back doesn't agree with this decision. I then hear my garbage disposal.
He tossed them!
He returns to my side within seconds, tossing the empty bottle onto the floor.
"Is it okay if I stay here tonight? Alone? I don't feel very well and I just want to sleep." I beg.
His eyes shoot up to mine and they are filled with so much pain it makes my heart hurt.
"Can I please stay with you Cari, I swear..." he pleads, tears dropping from his eyes at each word.
I begin to stand, but the searing pain in my back prevents it. I fall back onto my bottom.
"I don't know if I can walk too good right now Grant, would you mind.."
Before I even finish my sentence he pulls me from the ground and into his arms in a swift movement. He stands and carries me to the bed, kissing my face as he does.
He carefully drops me on to the bed and strips me so that I'm left in only underwear. He pulls his shirt from his head, and then removes his pants leaving both on the floor. He looks godly in only boxer briefs. They're all black with tiny green emblems identifying the brand. However my eyes are too weak to attempt the small print.
He climbs in bed next to me and presses his warm body against mine. Even through the pain, seeing him half naked has me feeling aroused. He runs his hand over my belly repeatedly whispering sorry. I feel his member grow as he caresses my skin.
I lean to kiss him and he stops me.
"No Caroline, I don't deserve you tonight. Shh baby, go to sleep." he whispers as he continues to rub my belly. I don't have the energy to fight his verdict as I left my heavy eye lids close, drifting off.