Chapter 14
Deciding that the time was ripe to make his reappearance, Hogan left the emergency tunnel and took a slow walk back towards the main gate of the prison camp. Before leaving, he had Wilson scruff him up a bit and put his hurt arm in a makeshift sling, which he actually realized made him feel a bit better.
"Do you have any idea what you're going to tell them?" Boswell asked the colonel before he left.
Hogan shrugged. "I'll come up with something between here and Klink's office." He laughed. "I've had less time to make something up, and for some reason he usually believes the story I've concocted. At least, I think he has."
Hogan approached the gate and began waving his arms. Unlike some prison camps, the guards at Stalag 13 tended to ask questions first before shooting. One of the two guards at the gate looked at the man through his binoculars, dropped them on the ground and poked the other guard. They bolted for the gate, opened it and waited for Hogan to come in.
"Are you all right, Colonel?" the first guard asked in astonishment.
"I'll live, Corporal. Can you take me to the Kommandant's office, please?"
A small crowd of prisoners and guards began to form. Hogan raised his hand, immediately quieting the group. "Can one of you run over to my barracks and tell them I'm back?"
The prisoners quickly disbursed and headed for Hogan's hut, while the two perimeter guards escorted the colonel to the Kommandanteur. "Thanks. I'll take it from here." Hogan ran up the steps and into the outer office.
Hilda let out a squeal but quickly squelched it when Hogan gave her a signal. "What happened to you?" she mouthed.
Hogan smiled. "Tell you all about it later. He's inside?"
"Yes, with General Burkhalter and Major Hochstetter." Hilda made a face that left no illusions as to her feelings about Klink's two visitors. "In fact, Major Hochstetter just got called back to the office."
"Why don't you announce me?"
Hochstetter was just about to leave Klink's office when there was a slight tap at the door.
"Yeeesss, what is it?" Klink asked.
"I'm sorry to interrupt the meeting, Herr Kommandant, but Colonel Hogan is here to see you."
Klink sighed in annoyance. "Tell him to go away, we're busy…" He stopped as Hogan barreled through the door. "Hogan, how many times have I told you not to… Hoogaaan! What are you doing here?"
"Thought I would get a nicer greeting," Hogan grumbled, as Hochstetter's mouth hung open. "Major, you'll catch flies."
Hochstetter ignored the insult and recovered from his shock. "Yes, Hogan what are you doing here? And how did you get away from the SS? I was about to head down to take a look at the airplane."
Burkhalter remained silent. This ought to be good, he thought to himself. I'm never getting rid of him. He's like an albatross around my neck.
"Well, then, you may find the two SS agents that somehow knew I was being swapped, found me after I escaped the truck, and then pulled a fast one at the border crossing. Did you know they were the same bozos that came after me last spring?" (1)
Without asking, Burkhalter walked over and poured himself a glass of sherry, downing it in one gulp. He turned and faced Hogan. "You didn't answer the major's question."
"Oh, yeah," Hogan replied, "How I got away." Without asking, Hogan pulled up a chair, sat, and leaned back with his feet on Klink's desk.
"Hogan, sit down properly," Klink ordered, as he reclaimed the seat behind his desk and stared at the other officer. "We're all ears."
"Weis was flying the plane, while Schmidt was in back with us. The general and myself, I mean. But we got into a fight with an Allied squadron and the plane got hit. The general didn't listen. He got agitated and tried to make it into the cockpit, which is when he got himself killed. Lucky shot. A piece of shrapnel hit his carotid, I think."
"He was always an idiot," Burkhalter mumbled.
Hogan ignored the general's comment and continued. "Weis yelled back that he couldn't control the plane. That's when Schmidt uncuffed me and ordered me to take over the controls
"I'm surprised you didn't refuse," Hochstetter said suspiciously.
"Well, major, I'm not suicidal. I figured when there is life, there's hope. Thought maybe there was a way that I could take advantage of the situation I was in. Sooo, while I was trying to come up with something, I kept heading towards Berlin. But the damage to the plane was bad, and I convinced them that we wouldn't make it." Hogan chuckled. "I lied. The damage was bad, but I added a little emphasis to my maneuvers to make it seem worse."
"You mean you could have made it to Berlin?" Klink asked.
"No, I doubt it. But I didn't fancy jumping with those two right behind me. So I turned and headed west. And they did what I hoped. They unbuckled and stood behind me with a gun. That's when I put the plane in a loop." Hogan grinned. "The force of gravity took care of them from that point. I headed for France, but unfortunately, I realized the plane wouldn't make it."
"Why Hammelburg?" Burkhalter pressed Hogan.
"Don't you remember, sir? That's where the Kommandant and I jumped when the plane we stole from England ran out of gas. Oh, and General, you still owe me money." (2)
Another tap on the door interrupted Burkhalter's nasty retort.
"Yeeesss?" Klink said.
"Captain Mitchell is here." Hilda smiled at Hogan, who smiled back.
Mitchell ignored the Germans in the room and approached Hogan, who had arisen from his seat at Klink's desk. They exchanged salutes.
"Colonel, it's a pleasure to have you back, sir. We were extremely worried."
"Thank you, Captain. I take it everything here is copacetic?"
Mitchell lowered his voice. "Colonel, may I speak with you privately outside?"
"Of course. Kommandant, I will be right back." Hogan didn't wait for Klink's permission. He just followed Mitchell into the outer office, and left the three Germans wondering what copacetic meant.
"Is that a code word?" Burkhalter asked Hochstetter.
"I don't know. Klink?"
The Kommandant was frantically searching through a German-English dictionary. "I think it's slang, actually."
"They what?" Hogan yelled.
The three Germans jumped at Hogan's bellow. "I believe that would be a reaction to Mitchell informing Hogan about the search, Klink," Burkhalter noted as the door swung open to reveal a visibly furious Hogan followed by a slightly nervous Mitchell.
"You three are going to get my men back here, safe and sound, now!" Hogan ordered; an icy tone to his voice.
Burkhalter stood head to head with the colonel and looked him straight in the eye. "You are in no position to order anything, Colonel. I suggest you remember where you are and who is in charge."
"We don't even know where they are at the moment," Klink, who was trying to be helpful, added.
"You will have a lot to answer for, when I inform the Red Cross about what has happened over the last few days," Hogan retorted. "Plus, to threaten the other prisoners with executions if my men escaped is totally inexcusable." (3)
Hochstetter laughed. "What makes you think the Red Cross will find out any time soon? When are they scheduled for their next inspection, General?"
"Not for a while, and with the fighting, we can't guarantee that the packages will get through, much less a representative."
"General, when this camp is liberated, there will be a lot of questions, and you better make sure that, for your sake, I give the right answers," Hogan said.
"Liberated?" Hochstetter replied. "A little optimistic, aren't we, Colonel Hogan?"
Burkhalter stared at Hogan for a moment, and then addressed Klink. "When and if Sergeant Schultz gets in touch with you, inform him to stay put. Somehow I will find a plane to go pick them up." (4)
"Now you are thinking, General. I can fly it," Hogan offered.
"No, you will stay right here, where you belong," Klink stood up. "Besides, you are hurt. Go see the medic."
"Can you arrange for a medical transport, so hopefully they won't get shot at?" Hogan asked Burkhalter.
The general sighed. He knew Hogan had him over a barrel. "I can arrange for a medical transport. Klink, call me as soon as you hear anything."
Hogan and Mitchell walked back to Barracks two together. They were again greeted by the residents, who were relieved to hear that the plan the two had hatched to get Burkhalter to offer a plane had worked. "Make sure the radio and phone are monitored constantly," Hogan reminded them. "Carter and Newkirk may get in touch with us, before Schultz calls Klink. The captain and I will be in my office."
Mitchell stood stiffly at attention as Hogan first looked at him, and then sighed. The colonel took off his cap and placed it on the table. "Well, now. What do you have to say for yourself? Orders are orders. No one comes to my rescue."
"May I speak freely, sir?"
"Of course."
"We weren't surprised you managed to get away from the men in the truck. But truthfully, how far did you think you would get with no papers, no civilian clothes, and the POW painted on your jacket? Oh, that reminds me. We ordered another one for you. London will send it when they get a chance."
"It won't be broken in," Hogan complained. "But thanks. Oh, I realized my chances were not the best. But, I was willing to take it, rather than head somewhere for interrogation or be sent to a labor camp. And I did have a German uniform. You're changing the subject. Getting back to Newkirk and Carter, and your manipulation of Klink… Well done, by the way."
"I learned from the best, sir."
"Don't flatter me, Captain."
"I felt the opportunity presented itself to kill two birds with one stone. Like I said, Burkhalter shifted the burden to Klink, and well, I thought it would increase Klink's chances of finding you if we could somehow get some control over the situation." Mitchell paused to collect his thoughts. "And we were afraid for your safety. I know that's not what you wanted to hear, but it was my command, and I would do it again."
Hogan scratched his chin with his good arm. "I appreciate your honesty. But I'm not happy with sending two enlisted men down to the other end of the country."
"They were eager to go, sir. And they've handled more dangerous situations here. Every time they head out, they could be shot as spies."
"True," Hogan agreed. "Look, I know you probably had a bit of persuasion from the gang out there. And you did light up the field. But…you're still not off the hook." Hogan began to pace back and forth. He understood where Mitchell was coming from. Hell, he might have done the same, if he were in the captain's shoes. He would certainly do anything to rescue any one of the prisoners in camp. But, there was still the chain of command to consider. And Mitchell had sent two enlisted men into a potentially dangerous situation. Not to mention two innocent guards. "All right. Since you've had a brief stint at running this operation, it's time you've put in some real time. Once this is over, you'll pull overnight radio duty, say, for two weeks."
Mitchell was relieved he wasn't demoted. "Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. Oh, and Colonel, one question. If Boswell and Garrett hadn't found you, and Carter and Newkirk had, would we be having this conversation?"
Hogan grinned. "Don't push your luck."
(1) SNAFU
(2) Easy Come, Easy Go (6th season)
(3) Actually, Burkhalter threatened this if Hogan tried to pull a fast one in Easy Come, Easy Go.
(4) With the Luftwaffe almost completely defeated, and Germany short of fuel, planes were not that easy to come by at this point. (Feb. 45)