The spring semester is drawing to a close and I still don't know when Jake is coming home. My finals are all easy and I breeze through them. After my last one I think of Jake and all the things I've sent to him in care packages. He would be set for a while. Each of his letters to me got more romantic almost like he wished he wasn't in the military. He loves being with his friend though and I know that those two might not have met each other again if not for the army.

I walk into the martial arts academy and head to the locker room. I change into the traditional garb and tie my black belt around my waist for my karate lessons. I set my foil up in my locker and my mask down on the floor. Sophie gives me money every month to renew this whole thing. I progressed really fast in these arts possibly because I have so much pent up rage inside me from what my father did to me but no one can understand it. I've only taken karate, and I'm working on getting my highest degree black belt. Later I'll work on fencing and hand to hand combat with different weapons. The instructors are all impressed with me and I enjoy getting active and finding ways to protect myself. I will never be defenseless and helpless again.

I go out into the mat room, sit in a corner, and mediate. I close my eyes and focus on calming myself down and I hear footsteps moving towards me. I roll to the side with my eyes still closed dodging the attack. I open my eyes and block the kick delivered to me. I land a kick to the assailant in their shoulder. They come at me again and I do a back handspring to avoid them and get behind them. I kick their lower back and they try to sweep my feet out from under me. They stand up and I punch them aiming for the solar plexus. They catch my punch and turn me away. While turning me I lift my leg and extend it with enough force and at the right time to hit the solar plexus. My assailant falls to the ground unable to breathe fully. I use my foot to roll the person onto their back and I see my teacher lying there on the floor. I gasp and bow to him.

"You've progressed well," he wheezes out. I smile at him and reply, "Thank you sensei."

He gets up off the floor and says, "Perhaps I won't teach you anything today. You've learned what you need. You should work on fencing and other combat art." I smile and bow to him. I back away from him and back into the locker room. These teachers were all private and they were paid to train me personally, one-on-one so I could advance and continue sparring with them even when they thought I had it mastered. I change my garb into that of the padded outfit for fencing. I pull out my foil and once again walk out to the mat room. I have a leotard under my outfit for the off chance Sam decides to work without the padding.

He walks in and sees me practicing. Sam walks up behind me and automatically starts fencing against me. He gets me twice but I get him three times. We practice and fine tune my motions. He tells me to delve into my gymnast past and use the grace in fencing. I do as instructed and he notices my improvement. He tells me to remove the padding and we'll try it for real. I remove the padding and we start to fence for real. We get very close to one another but don't touch each other with the foils. We work until we're tired and I say, "I give! Can we call it a day and I'll see you in two days?" He pants out his answer and I walk into the locker room, dragging my padded suit with me. I slip on a pair of sweatpants over my leotard and pack my bag.

I walk out of the academy and drive home. I grab my bag and walk inside my house. I can tell something is out of place but I'm not sure what. I keep my guard up as I set my bag down next to the door. I round the corner into the living room and don't see anyone. Suddenly someone comes behind me and covers my eyes, I struggle against my assailant while they whisper in my ear, "Guess who?"

I stop fighting and I gasp, "Jake?" He uncovers my eyes and I turn around to hug him. We hold each other for a long time and I cry that he's home safe. "I got every single letter and I wrote back. Did you get my letters? And my care packages?"

He laughs and says, "Of course I got your letters and your care packages. The boys really appreciate everything you sent us." He smiles at me and says, "What were you doing?"

I blush and say, "Oh, I've been taking college classes and well I've been taking self defense as well. Sorry you get to see me all icky, sticky, and smelly." I pluck at my leotard and he puts his hand behind my head to pull me to him. He kisses me sweetly and I slowly melt into his kiss.

"I've waited a long time to do that," he says dreamily.

"I've waited as well. I'll go and start something for dinner if you want," I say quickly heading towards the kitchen.

"Nah, let's go out. Let's celebrate," Jake says joyfully. I let him celebrate and we get ready to go out to dinner.

oOo

I have Jake for a few months and we plan our wedding. We set it for a date we cleared for him to come home and then leave again if he had to. His commanding officer cleared it and all the steps were taken so we could do this. I grab a few girls and we go out dress hunting for me. I find a beautiful dress that's pure white and has a ball gown feel. The neckline is a square neck and it has lace cap sleeves. The lace extends all over the gown giving it a feeling of elegance and delicacy. The veil is the one my mother wore on her wedding day. I had found it in one of the boxes in our attic that was never opened. Our wedding was going to be in July so I knew I had to make preparations fast.

I write Jake every chance I get and tell him about the preparations for the wedding. He writes back to me and tells me what's going on over where he is stationed. He's antsy and wants to come home to me I know it. I keep myself going to school and my martial arts classes because I want Jake to come home to another academic achievement from me. He writes me letters all the time apologizing for not being there while I plan our wedding. I always tell him that I'll wait forever if I have to. I start getting bored so I start working in my mother's field and find I'm pretty good at it. I start out small with Sophie's help creating aliases and getting into larger cons. I never breathe a word of it to Jake because I know he'd disapprove. When he gets back I'll drop out of the life forever and get a normal job. I always read Jakes letters and love the fact that he sends pictures to me. He sends me one a week after my birthday saying,

June 30th, 1995

Happy Birthday Cassie!

You're twenty today! I wanted to be there and get you a wonderful gift but I'm over here and all I can do is think about you. Here's the guys wishing you a happy birthday! Only a few more weeks until we're married and you're Mrs. Jacob Travers.

Sending All My Love,

Jake

P.S. Just so you know, I'm trying to find a way to ask Eliot to take care of you and tell you what happens if I go before he does. I hope I can find the right words soon. I've already requested it with our C.O. Don't worry, I've got you covered.

I look at the photo and see Eliot and Jake next to one another. The rest of the guys all smile at me from the photo and I see a few girls there. My guess is that they're either local girls helping out or they're nurses. I smile and write him back telling him I received the photo and to tell the boys thank you. I send it off immediately and lock the letter and the photo into a lock box where I keep everything important to me.

One week after receiving the letter, when Jake is supposed to be home I hear the door bell ring. Confused I open the door and see two men in uniform standing at my door. I cover my mouth as I gape at them. "No, no, no you have the wrong house. No, this can't be. No!" I start to cry holding the letter Jake had written to me close to my chest. I back up to the wall underneath the stairs and slide down to the floor sobbing. The officers step into my house and tell me, "Ma'am we're sorry for your loss. If you need anything call this number and they'll help you." He hands me a card and I just hold out my hand to grab it. I let it fall to the floor sobbing my eyes out.

"Your husband will be given a full military funeral and will be interred at Arlington National Cemetery ma'am. You should be proud of him. We are all sorry that a genuine hero was lost as a cost of this war."

"Thank you gentlemen," I say through sobs. One of the men hands me the box of tissues and I take them from him nodding. "Can you tell me what happened to him?"

"I'm sorry ma'am we cannot. We don't know what happened ourselves," One of them answers.

The officers walk me through what would happen and I agree to everything and as soon as I've accepted everything they leave me alone and I walk over to Jakes parents house and tell them the news. We comfort each other and then set arrangements to go to Arlington National Cemetery in two weeks.