The following weekend, Sirius turned to James with a grin as they sauntered down the boys' staircase to the Common Room. "What's our plan for Hogsmeade today, Prongs? Beth wants to get chocolate at Honeydukes but says she doesn't care where else we go."

"Lily needs a new notebook and she wants a frame for a picture Beth took of us," James said. "Besides that, I'm open for anything." He gave Sirius a deceptively mild glance. "Did you ever find out why Beth carries that picture of her boyfriend around with her?"

"No," Sirius said shortly. He didn't meet James' eyes as he fiddled with his collar, feeling unsettled. "I haven't asked her that. All I know is the prat cheated."

"Is that why Beth cries herself to sleep?" Peter asked from behind them. "Because her boyfriend cheated on her?" He and Remus had come down the stairs without Sirius and James hearing them.

Sirius frowned. "She cries herself to sleep?" He looked at Peter and then James. "How do you know that?"

James' face turned hard. "You're a fucking idiot, Wormtail."

Peter's eyes widened. "Was that a secret?" His head whipped between the other Marauders. "Sorry, Prongs."

"How did you know?" James was still glaring at Peter.

"I overheard you and Lily the other day," Peter gulped. "I didn't know Sirius didn't know. You usually tell him everything."

Sirius clenched his fists agitatedly. "Why the hell would she do that? That bloke was a prick. She shouldn't be keen on him anymore."

There was a long silence. "It could still hurt being betrayed," Remus said carefully, "even if she doesn't care about him now."

Sirius looked troubled, his eyes shifting to each of his friends in turn. "Shit, do you think she's still holding a torch for the cheating wanker?"

"James," the four Marauders heard Lily's voice call. They turned towards the girls' staircase where Lily was descending. "Beth's just changing her shoes. She'll be down in a minute." James looked at Sirius, eyebrows raised in a silent question and Sirius nodded.

James and Sirius hurried over to the bottom of the girls' staircase. "Hey," James kissed Lily. "Let's meet Sirius and Beth at Hogsmeade later. Sirius wants to talk to Beth."

Lily's eyes flicked to Sirius. Her face became worried when she saw his expression but she nodded. "Sure. See you later, Sirius." Lily and James left, Lily casting one last look at Sirius over her shoulder.

Remus and Peter walked over to Sirius. "Do you want the room?" Remus asked. "We can clear out for a few hours."

"Yeah, thanks," Sirius nodded. Beth appeared on her way down the stairs, smiling when she saw them. Remus and Peter silently left before she made it to the bottom.

"Where are Lily and James?" Beth asked. Her eyes searched Sirius' face and anxiety clouded her expression when she saw his. "What's going on, Sirius?"

"I want to talk to you," Sirius said. He knew he needed to do this now. Patience was not one of his strong suits. "Can we go up to my room?"

Beth nodded, confused, and they made their way to the Marauders dorm room. Sirius guided Beth to his bed and swept his clothes out of the way to clear a space for her. He sat next to her. "I'm not good at this kind of shite," he told her when the silence grew and she continued to frown anxiously at him.

"What kind of shite?" Beth asked warily. She hadn't been up to his room before and normally she would be curiously checking around, but his behavior was making her nervous and she kept her eyes on him.

"Emotional stuff," Sirius clarified. Beth looked more puzzled and he decided to just spill it. "Beth, are you still hung up on your ex-boyfriend?"

Beth shook her head. "I don't care about him anymore. I haven't for a long time."

"Then why do you cry yourself to sleep at night? Why do you still carry that picture of him around?" Sirius asked. Despite his efforts to sound unperturbed, his voice had an edge that he was unable to cover up.

Beth's mouth dropped open and she stared at him. "How do you know I cry at night?"

"Lily told James and Peter eavesdropped and let it slip to me." Sirius braced himself to ask the hardest question. He searched her eyes intently as he asked her. "Do you still love him?"

"No," Beth's eyes filled with tears. She gulped and looked down, fighting for composure. Tears threatened to push their way out past the half-crescent shapes of her dark eyelashes. Her lips were pressed tightly together and she swallowed as if there were a Quaffle lodged in her throat.

Sirius watched her, baffled. "Beth?" he finally broke the silence. "Just tell me. I'll be alright even if you still care about that arsehole."

"I don't carry that picture around because of him." Beth finally looked up at Sirius. "It's because of Diane, my best friend." The tears spilled down her cheeks and her shoulders shook. "I've been meaning to tell you, b-but it's still hard to t-talk about."

Sirius put his arms around her and held her close. She was trembling and her hand clutched at his shirt convulsively over his chest. After a few minutes she took a shuddering breath. "She… k-killed herself last summer." She broke down sobbing and Sirius tightened his arms and held her against him. He could feel her entire body shaking as the hot tears made their way down her cheeks and were then absorbed by his shirt. His mind raced as she sobbed. Relief that she wasn't wallowing over her ex-boyfriend was laced with guilt that he hadn't even known she was so upset. How had he not been able to see that she was in this kind of pain? He ran his hand down her hair and across her shoulders over and over, feeling the tense muscles in her back.

Beth's sobs eventually subsided. She sat quietly, shoulders still quaking. Her hands had moved around him to his back and he felt them gripping his shirt in a deathly vise. Sirius kissed her hair and stroked up and down her spine. He wished he could take away her pain. He felt a strange helplessness and with that, frustration.

She was able to continue after several minutes. "We were so close. Like you and James. At least I thought we were that close. But she didn't tell me how much pain she was in. And I…I must not have been a very good friend because I couldn't tell." She wiped her face with a tissue Sirius had summoned. "I miss her and that hurts, but it also hurts that I wasn't there for her. I wasn't able to help her."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Sirius asked. He felt his muscles tense as he waited for her to answer.

"I didn't want you to think of me that way at first," Beth sighed. "With pity or as the girl who didn't know her best friend was that miserable. I wanted you to get to know me without my emotional baggage."

"Oh Beth," Sirius kissed her temple and rocked her in his arms. "Sometimes people hide their feelings when they're hurting. It's not your fault she couldn't confide in you."

"I don't know," Beth said remorsefully. "I should have noticed."

Her words hit Sirius hard. "How could I not have sensed this?" Sirius looked stricken. "You're a bloody open book, Beth. I couldn't even tell you were hurting."

Beth tried to smile sadly at him with trembling lips. "Look, you were right about me. I am naturally a Pollyanna, overly optimistic and upbeat. Its true Diane's suicide changed me. I'll always miss her and I'll always wish I had done more to help her." She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. "But with you, I felt better about myself. Maybe it's because I sensed you've had issues in your life. You made no bones about being a dark horse. Or maybe it was because I was attracted to you so quickly and grew to care about you." Beth reached out and took his hand. "I meant to tell you. I was waiting for the right time. But we just got together and I've been so happy, I just pushed it to the back of my mind."

Sirius brought his lips to her forehead. "Tell me about her," he breathed against her smooth skin. He moved back to lean against the headboard and pulled Beth up to lie curled against his chest.

For the next hour, Beth did. The words came hesitantly at first, and then built speed until they were pouring out of her, painting pictures in Sirius' mind. She told him how they met in first grade ("I was just watching everyone else play at recess, too scared to join in and she asked me to swing with her"), their giggling stalking of Diane's first crush ("poor guy, every time he turned around we were there"), the night they cried themselves to sleep together when Diane's father left her mother ("he moved away a year later and she didn't get to see him often"), their swim team escapades ("we talked the new girls each season into playing pranks on each other to get them to feel part of the team"), their water polo partnership ("they called us the dynamic duo because we could read each other so well we always knew how to set the other up when driving for a goal") to Diane's comforting Beth after her break-up with Andy ("she managed to make me to feel I was lucky to be rid of him").

"She was kind, sensitive and funny. She acted very poised and together. I was one of her few friends who knew she battled depression. But she seemed great the last several weeks, even happier than usual. " Beth twisted her fingers together. "Her mom told me Diane had stopped taking her anti-depressants a few weeks before she killed herself." She swallowed and her hands trembled. Sirius covered her hands with one of his. "She didn't tell anyone, they figured it out by checking the number of pills left from her latest prescription."

When she finished, Beth slumped against him, looking pale and drained. Her tears had stopped and her facial muscles relaxed as she closed her eyes against his chest. Sirius continued to rub Beth's back. "I know how anguished I would feel if anything ever happened to James," he said quietly.

Beth opened her eyes and looked gratefully at him. "Yes," she said simply.

She was silent for a few minutes. "That's why I came here. Last semester was so hard. I had good friends who were there for me and I healed a lot. But I needed to get away for awhile, to go somewhere where no one knew and felt sorry for me." She took a calming breath. "I already have enough credits to graduate from high school, so I have a free semester.

"I've always had an obsession with the wizarding world. Uncle John and I are close. I looked up to him when I was growing up and I loved his wizard stories. Uncle John was really worried about how Diane's suicide affected me. Uncle John did something big—I don't know what-for Dumbledore years ago. He called in his favor for me. He knew this would be a huge change for me—getting to live with witches and wizards in a foreign country far away from home. It feels like a different world here. That's the real reason why Dumbledore let me come. He doesn't need goodwill to help him get support from the U.S. Department of Magic. That was just a cover story to protect me."

Sirius smoothed back her hair. "I'm sorry, Beth."

"Every night when I go to bed, I think of Diane and how I'd love to be able to tell her all that I'm experiencing." Her lips twisted ruefully. "I'm having a great time here but I miss her."

"That's natural," Sirius said.

Beth reached up to touch his cheek. "Thank you for being here with me." Her eyes were still bright with tears but the corner of her lips angled up as she gazed at him.

"I wouldn't want to be with anyone else," he told her honestly. He studied her tired delicate face, her sad eyes that nevertheless shone with a look of relief now that she wasn't hiding this anymore. He ran his thumb down her cheekbone and along her jaw before threading his hand through her hair.

"Sirius?" Beth wrapped her arms tightly around him and clung to him, pressing her face against his chest. "For the record, you did really well with this emotional shite."