AN: Just a quick one have to get back to work :(

Thanks to everyone for reading / adding.

Teri, Lauren – you ladies rock my socks

Jess – you are truly a champion – heart you.

Disclaimer – don't own Twilight.

Ch 14 – Tension

Tension

the act of stretching or straining.
the state of being stretched or strained.
mental or emotional strain; intense, suppressed suspense, anxiety, or excitement.
a strained relationship between individuals, groups, nations, etc.

Alice called me the next day, apparently she didn't trust me to come true on my promise. I had organised to see her the following Saturday to go shopping in Port Angeles. Even though she is overly persistent I am so grateful that she is willing to put the past aside and wants to establish a friendship with me, I figured the least I owed her was a shopping trip, no matter how painful I expected it to be.

Currently, I am sitting outside of Jake's store. I have a trunk full of books to give to him but for some reason I feel hesitant, I can't explain exactly what it is that is preventing me from getting out of the car but I just can't seem to move. After about 3 minutes I put my foot down, literally, and open the car door. As I open the door, I look into the shop and see two heads turning around to greet me.

My heart skips several beats, there sitting no more than 10 feet from the door looking up at me blankly is Edward, his bronze hair an erratic mess just as I remember it. His eyes aren't showing any sort of emotion, not shock, not anger, not hurt and most certainly not anything endearing. Perhaps I am more in tune with my intuition that I thought. I stub my toe into the step and slightly stumble, if it weren't for my hand gripping to the handle for dear life I would have fallen flat on my face.

"Sorry I didn't…I don't mean to interrupt…I didn't know that…I can come back." I say very ineloquently.

"No, it's fine. I was just leaving." They are the first words that he says to me, 'No, it's fine, I was just leaving'. I guess it could have been worse…far worse, he could have told me to go fuck myself or to get out of his town and his life, so on second thoughts perhaps 'No its fine. I was just leaving' is as nice as I could have hoped for. He stands abruptly and walks straight through the back of the shop and out into the rear car park.

As soon as I hear the door shut I slam my palm into my forehead, finally letting the door behind me go and slowly close shut with a painful squeal.

"Just give him time Bella, he is still completely in love with you, he is just hurt."

"He said that to you?" I ask far too eagerly.

"Well no, he actually hasn't mentioned you once since you left, not to me, not to any of the Cullen's, to no one."

"Oh" I sigh defeated. "Wait, you have been speaking to the Cullen's?" Jake laughs a little at me as he stands gesturing to the coffee machine, I nod and slump into my usual chair, which just so happens to be the one Edward was occupying just minutes before I came in and caused him to flee, leaving a full cup of coffee I see. I settle into the worn leather I realise that I can smell him, surely not; perhaps I am just having a sensory memory moment.

"You didn't just leave chaos in your wake Swan; you also did something pretty terrific when you left."

"I strongly doubt that Jake."

"No, I am being serious, Emmett and I were so worried about Edward and hating the fact that neither of us knew if the other knew anything, Rose called Leah to arrange a dinner and a reconciliation and now they are great friends. Everyone is one big group again." He is so happy that his teeth are going to explode out through his mouth if his smile gets any bigger.

"Jake that's awesome! Wow, I am so happy that you have got Em back."

"Thanks Bells, it's really great, we all go on camping trips together now. So what can I do for you? I didn't really expect to see you this soon; I thought that perhaps you might take a little more time to yourself before resurfacing."

"You mean you thought that I would have been in hiding for a little longer."

"Well, yeah." He laughs again, handing me a cup of coffee, I take a gigantic sip, and I would have sculled the entire thing if it weren't so hot.

"You know Jake, I have travelled a lot and drank a lot of coffee, but I must say that yours is definitely in the top 5 coffees."

"Top 5! Bella please, you know that mine is the best, don't even try and play me like that."

"I missed you Jacob. I really hope that what I have done isn't going to change our friendship forever, speaking of I have a little reconciliation gift of sorts for you, follow me." Jake stands without saying a word and lets me lead him out to the trunk of my car. "For you." I say as I pop it open.

"Are you kidding me?" He quickly rifles through a few of the books. "Bells, some of these are first editions and signed by the author.

"I know, they're mine. Well, they were mine they are yours now; you can do what you like with them."

"No way, this is far too much, some of these are worth a lot of money Bells, I can't take them."

"You have to, I have no where to put them."

"Bullshit, you forget that I have seen your mansion, you have more than enough room for these books."

"That's irrelevant, I don't want them. Either you take them graciously or I will break into your shop at night and deliver them myself." Jake ceases the arguing, instead he grabs me and hugs my tightly.

"Thank you Bella, you have no idea what this means for me and the store. If I online auction some of these books they could pay my expenses for the entire year, that would really help Leah and me out. Thank you." He whispers into my ear. "Some of them I am going to keep for myself though, if that's ok?" He continues pulling back and looking back at the books.

"What are you asking me for? They're your books."

Jake and I hugged for about 20 minutes before I left, he just kept saying thank you, thank you. It was at about the 14 minute mark that I had an epiphany; I have all this money, too much money for one person, especially considering that a majority of it is invested and just making even more money. If something as simple as the books that I don't want anymore can make Jake and Leah's life better then imagine the scope that I have for changing lives.

I already have a few orphanages in various countries but I need to do something on a smaller, more local scale.

It isn't until my shopping trip with Alice that I realise where I can best help, as we drive through Port Angeles I take note of the run down housing, the kids playing unattended in the street and the general un-kept condition of their clothes.

"Alice is this a particularly poor area?" Alice glances at me briefly before looking out at the housing on my side of the road.

"I wouldn't classify it as below the poverty line but the people here are struggling. The parents all work multiple jobs, the kids drop out of school to get jobs so that they can help their parents out. It's not like what you have in New York though, these kids are good kids, the crime rate is low, and it's a real sense of community everyone helps everyone else out."

"How do you know so much about this neighbourhood?"

"Because of Edward?" I stare at her blankly, she immediately continues, rolling her eyes. "Trust him not to tell you about that. You two have far more in common than you realise. Edward runs a community centre in the next suburb, it is sort of like a child care facility for kids whose parents are working or for kids who just want somewhere to go. He teaches them music, they have other staff members who teach them computer skills and cooking and heaps of other things. Jake even reads to the really little ones on a Saturday morning."

"And it's all volunteer?"

"Completely."

"Where do they get the funding?"

"Well I'm not sure if you're aware but Edward isn't exactly hard done by, I mean he is poor compared to you so maybe that's why you didn't notice, but he puts a lot of his own money into it. As do Jake and Leah. It's mainly from the community and a pissy government grant. They are in dire need though; Edward needs new instruments, computers and a renovation. They want to build a second structure to use as emergency housing, have a few bedrooms set up for families or kids in need."

"Will Edward be there now?"

"No ,he has a school camp this weekend."

"Can you take me there?" Alice pulls the car to the side of the road and drops a u-turn, a large smile on her face. We pull up to a grey cinder block building, it is fairly small, perhaps the size of a 6 car garage. From the outside it looks terrifying, like a prison building all grey and sad. On the side of the building there is a tennis court come basketball court come volleyball court come anything else you can think of to play on the concrete area court.

"I don't think there will be any kids here today, not this late on a Saturday." I look around and realise that there is indeed no children anywhere on the outside of the building. Alice begins walking to the door.

"Will we be able to get in?"

"Yeah, this place is open 24/7. There is always someone here just in case one of the kids needs something."

As I walk through the door, the contrast from the outside smacks me in the face. The first room is completely covered floor to ceiling in artwork. There is everything from finger painting to intricate beautiful sketches, there is a particularly striking painting that draws my attention, it as a watercolour of Edward and it is exquisite. The room is full of colour and life, it emanates happiness.

"Alice!" A female voice explodes in the room behind me.

"Irina, it is so great to see you again. Irina this is Bella, Bella this is Irina, she is one of the counsellors who work here." I walk towards Irina to shake her hand, she eyes my sceptically but takes my hand with a smile none the less. I guess she knows about me too.

"Sorry to disturb you Irina, I just wanted to show Bella around a bit." Alice says drawing Irina's focus away from me.

"No problem, at all, I am just in the middle of some reporting but you feel free to look around. It was great to see you Alice and nice to me you Bella." Her smile is warm and appears genuine.

Alice gives me a tour of the centre and I am so impressed and inspired, I just need to figure out the right way to go about this.

After shopping, which to be honest wasn't all that painful, we are sitting in a café, surrounded by our purchases, having lunch when I decided to pry a little bit more.

"Does the centre ever have any fundraising events?" I ask taking a sip of the horrible coffee.

"Yeah, a couple of times a year, they actually have one next weekend, if you're interested. It is an auction of the artwork you saw earlier actually…"

"Are you going?" I interrupt.

"Of course."

"Will you bid for me?"

"What? Why don't you just come?"

"I can't Alice, it's Edward's world, it is bad enough that I'm in his town, the last thing he needs is me in his community centre too." Alice nods understandingly, giving me more silent information about Edward's state of mind. I am starting to piece together a picture of Edward and it is not pretty.

"Are you freakin' kidding me?" Alice's voice shouts down the telephone at me.

"No." I state firmly.

"Ok." She sighs, hanging up. I really wish I could be there to hear Alice call out my bid's for the artwork. I had written multiple cheques and sent Alice off with strict instructions, which apparently she still need clarification on.

Three hours later, after attempting to unsuccessfully to watch a movie, Alice texts me.

You are the proud owner of 10 pieces of artwork. Congrats Al x

I shut my phone, content in what I have just achieved. My donation will hopefully allow Edward to get everything that he needs, I also intent to provide ongoing support, but one step at a time.

An hour later I am startled by the doorbell, I rush to it expecting to find Alice ready to retell the night's events, the person I find however stops me dead in my tracks.

"We can't accept this." He states holding my cheques out to me, the hairs on the back of neck stand on end, I immediately become defensive.

"Why not? What's the difference between you donating your money and me donating mine?" I bite, taking a step backwards away from his outstretched hand and the cheques.

"I can't take your money."

"I'm not donating my money to you, Edward; I am donating to the community centre! I have decided to become more involved with local charities and when Alice told me about the centre I would have donated regardless of whether you were involved or not. I actually chose not to attend tonight because I didn't want you to think that I was trying to invade your space." I take a deep breathe after my tirade.

"I cannot accept one million dollars from you Bella." He is less defiant now; it is then that it occurs to me that he probably isn't aware of my current situation.

"I actually think that I got some bargains tonight, $100,000 for a piece of art is nothing." I try and joke and hope that it will lighten the mood.

"$100,000 for a 4 year olds finger painting is by no means a bargain, you were ripped off with that one, and the previous bid was $3.50." I can't help but laugh to which he responds by actually smiling. "Speaking of, I have the artwork in my car; I can bring it in for you if you like?"

"No, thank you, I would like to donate the artwork back to the centre to have it hanging there."

"Thank you Bella. You have no idea how much we can do with this money. I still honestly think that it is far too much money though, at least let me give you back half of it."

"Edward, I know that you have refused to read anything about me since I left and I am surprised that Rose didn't tell you about it to be honest, I don't want to sound conceited but I don't need the money." Edward looks a little taken a back, surely he didn't think that I wouldn't have asked people about him. Doesn't he now know how I feel about him?

"Thank you." He says conceding and putting the cheques back in his pocket. We are both left standing awkwardly, when my brain finally surveys the situation clearly and I realise that he hasn't gone running for the hills I realise that I need to act.

"Would you…umm…like to come in?" He looks as nervous hearing the question as I felt asking it, there is an excruciating pause between us in which I mentally prepare for him to say no.

"Sure." Sure, so nonchalant, how does he do that, hide his feelings like that? I turn and walk into the house allowing him to follow me in. I turn to face him as we reach the lounge and I notice that he isn't gawking at the house like everyone else has, his eyes are looking straight at mine, his brow furrowed.

"Drink?" I ask gesturing for him to take a seat, this all seems so formal and unnatural when what I really want to do is throw myself at him and tell him that I am more in love with him than ever and beg him to give me another chance.

"A scotch would be great." I duck to the bottom of the cupboard for a scotch glass and use this moment of privacy to steady my heart rate. I hand him his drink and sit opposite him, the table and a whole world of pain and things unsaid between us. It isn't until he finishes his drink that he removes his eyes from me and looks around the house.

"I wouldn't have pictured you in a place like this." He states and I am completely unsure of what exactly he means by that.

"I didn't design it, it was the only house available at the time, but I have to admit I have fallen in love with it."

"I didn't mean the house."

"Oh." I am even more confused, he clearly doesn't understand my feelings for him at all. "This is my home Edward." I hope he realises that I'm not talking about the house either.

"Will Tyler be joining you?" The question is such a shock to me that I bust into laughter, to which his frown deepens, if he frowns anymore his eyebrows are going to touch his cheekbones and swallow his eyes.

"You really didn't read or watch anything about me, did you?" It is meant to come out as a joke but his response certainly isn't funny.

"Why would I? You broke my fucking heart. You think that I would want to sit there and watch you and your amazing husband on TV, or see pictures in the paper and read about how much he has supported you through this whole ordeal." A sob escapes my throat that I can't prevent and tears stream down my face. I try in vein to stop them. I am the one that did the hurting I don't deserve to cry.

"I am so sorry Edward." We both sit in silence his anger slowly subsiding, the vein in the side of his head goes back into hiding and my tears cease completely.

"Why did you come back here?" There is no more anger in his voice just pain, which is worse, I hold it together and answer his question honestly.

"It's where my heart is." There is no reaction from Edward; he sits blankly staring at me.

"I'm going to get another drink and then I want you to tell me everything." He stands grabbing the bottle and sits back down, relaxing into the back of the couch.

"After I saw you, I was whisked away to another location where I had to stay for 2 weeks before a prosecutor came to see me, Garrett his name was. For three days we sat together and went through all my evidence, Garrett then informed me that there had been some big developments and that this case had become even bigger and as a result the threat on me would be greater, he also told me that I would have to give two different types of evidence."

"At first I didn't understand why, however Garrett was about to make it all too clear. Garrett informed me that Tyler had been arrested in connection to the Volturi family; they had been funding all his campaigns in return for leniency and turning a blind eye. I was shocked and horrified. I would have to testify against my own husband."

I continue to tell Edward all about the case and the outcome and how Tyler got given 15 years imprisonment. I was talking for well over an hour and Edward didn't say a word, even after I finished he didn't say a word.

"So that explains why you've decided to come back."

"What explains it?"

"The fact that Tyler is in prison you can wait out your 15 years here for him in hiding." I don't know what exactly it is about that statement but suddenly I am furious.

"There is only one person I am waiting for Edward!" I yell at him, I don't mean to but I can't suppress the emotion. "I was going to get a divorce as soon as I could see my lawyer, because I am completely in love with someone else. Someone who I have hurt and have ruined any chance I might have had and that is something I have to live with, and even though coming back here reminds me of what I did to him, I don't want to be anywhere else in the world."

The tension in the room is so thick it is practically visible, it's like a blood red haze hanging between us, so much hurt and anger and pain and it is all my fault. I deserve all of this and more. I will wait; I will wait forever because there is no one else that I want to be with. It is Edward or nothing.

AN: Thanks for reading…please review let me know what you think – do you agree with Edward's reaction?

Thanks again

Much love
Court
xox