Dear Dumb Diary,
I broke up with James because he went too far. He nearly killed Snivellus with his latest joke! He did the stream of slick oil on Snape, and guess what? His head broke his fall. He immediately started bleeding, and the Charms corridor sounded a bit like this:
"Ah! Severus is gonna die!"
"Someone get Pomfrey!"
Drip drip drip (blood)
"No one's getting the nurse!"
"Hey Bella, float him to the hospital wing!"
More drips of blood
"Ew! My sneakers are turning red!"
"There's pools of blood leaking into Flitwick's room! Someone call Filch!"
"I'm not cleaning that up!" (Filch protesting)
"Dumbledore and Pomfrey need to be here!"
Drip drip drip plip of blood
Finally, Dumbledore declared some order in the corridor. He and Flitwick managed to magic him up to the hospital wing, and Pomfrey met them halfway. They rushed him up to the wing, and he almost died. Everyone who witnessed the event (including me) had to admit that it was James that nearly killed Snape, and James was put on detention. Dumbledore said it wasn't fair that only James had to have a detention for nearly murdering someone, so I was put on detentions too. And McGonagall jumped in, so now we're suspended – well, we're put in the seclusion tower, which no one had heard about until now. We don't get to participate in the activities, we eat separate meals, and we take classes via iWandChat. It's very cool, but I have to live in the same room as James! Dumbledore knew about the privacy issues, so he conjured up a curtain to divide up the room. Gwen tried to visit once, but the gargoyles guarding the tower didn't let her pass unless she knew about the password (tea tree). Gwen guessed it in five seconds, so the gargoyles had no choice. They admitted her, and we had the best time (it was a Saturday). Unfortunately though, James and I didn't get to have our date because we both got secluded from activities... as mentioned above.
"I'm going to take a shower," James informs me twice a day. It's really stupid – as if I really needed to know that. I could have lived my whole life without that image in my head!
Signed, Lily Isolated Evans