A/N: Just want to say thank you so much for all of the lovely reviews on here, on DS, on the Hollyoaks site. They are all very much appreciated. This chapter is a little different because I thought I'd try writing from Ray's point of view for a change. It will go back to Brendan eventually though so don't worry :)

Chapter Fourteen

Ray woke up earlier than Brendan the next day. He slowly got out of bed, careful not to wake the sleeping man beside him. He glanced at him and smiled, thinking of how peaceful he looked in sleep. He didn't always of course but who wouldn't be content after the night they had just had?

Ray paced around the cell for a while, feeling somewhat tense and irritable. He was seeing Donny today. It had been a long time since they had last clapped eyes on each other. Ray wasn't entirely sure he was prepared for such an encounter. Of all Ray's lovers, Donny was the only one who had ever stuck around. Ray knew he could be a nightmare at the best of times; he was over-confident, sarcastic, annoyingly analytical. But Donny loved him regardless, loved him despite all of the trouble Ray got himself into.

And yet he had abandoned him, right when he had needed him the most. Ray had told Brendan that he understood why and he did, sort of. It didn't stop him feeling angered and hurt by it all of course. The one you love was supposed to stick by you, no matter what.

Ray sighed and rubbed at his face, feeling the stubble graze his fingers. He should shave, really. He didn't even know what time it was. There hadn't been a wake up call yet. Brendan turned a little in his sleep, moving the cover off of himself. It was quite a sight. Ray found himself smiling in approval. He moved towards the bed, lightly trailing his fingertips down Brendan's chest gradually getting lower. Brendan grunted a little, swatting at his hand in annoyance. He still wasn't quite awake yet.

Ray moved a little closer, sitting on his heels by the edge of the bed. He moved his mouth to kiss along Brendan's torso, his tongue swirling around his belly button. He enjoyed the feeling of Brendan's hair against his face. He liked a man with a bit of hair on him. Brendan grunted once again, this time smirking. He was finally awake. He opened his pale blue eyes slowly, looking down at Ray in amusement.

"That's some wake up call" he murmured.

"It gets better" Ray promised, kissing along Brendan's pelvis. Brendan stiffened a little, his hand resting on the bed moving to stroke the top of Ray's head. Ray loved the feeling of his fingers trailing through his hair; he had a strong, manly grip which Ray appreciated.

Ray moved his lips to kiss along Brendan's cock, licking the base of it. Brendan's fingers tightened in his hair. Ray smiled as he placed all of Brendan in his mouth, moving his mouth slowly as though to tease and prolong the sensation. As he brought Brendan deeper and deeper inside his throat, Brendan started to become more worked up. His hips bucked slightly off the bed, his head thrown back, his eyes squeezed shut. Considering it was morning he had already had a substantial arousal so it didn't take Ray long to push him over the edge and feel the remnants of his climax lingering in his mouth.

He raised himself up so his arms were resting on the bed. Brendan looked at him lazily, his eyes half-closed.

"Still feeling sleepy are we?" Ray asked, smirking. "I would have thought that would wake you up"

"Or make me even more relaxed" Brendan mumbled, closing his eyes. "Ye gonna come back to bed?"

"Sure" Ray climbed underneath the covers; Brendan shuffled slightly to the side to accommodate him. They both moved their arms as though to hold the other but settled for simply lying next to each other in the end. They both lay on their backs, looking towards the ceiling. It was eerily silent for a while.

"Ye nervous about today?" Brendan finally asked.

Ray considered this. "Obviously"

Brendan turned to face him, his eyebrows raised. "Don't get moody with me, mate"

"I'm not" Ray said, refusing to look Brendan in the eye.

Brendan sighed softly; placing his hand over one of Ray's which was resting on his stomach.

"It's tough, I get it. Wasn't easy seeing Stephen again when I was in here. Can't imagine it's any different for ye"

"It isn't" Ray replied, grateful for Brendan's warm and reassuring body beside him.

"What will ye say to him?" Brendan asked quietly, as though anticipating that Ray's head needed the quietness.

"I have some questions" Ray commented dryly.

"I hope ye get yer answers"

"So do I"

"Hate seeing ye like this" Brendan said, looking at Ray's face intently.

Ray turned his head to face him. "Sorry"

"It's not yer fault"

"Am I really that obvious?"

"Yer aren't as chatty as ye normally are, that's for sure"

"I talk too much" Ray shook his head, smiling.

"Not a bad thing really, ye would make a good barman. What kinda work ye done before?"

"Oh all sorts" Ray said, thinking carefully. "Some dodgy, some not. Worked in a few clubs as a bouncer, I know how to talk people down" He winked knowingly at Brendan, who rolled his eyes.

"Tell me about it" he mumbled.

"Why do you ask anyway?"

"Just like to know more about ye. Where's yer family?"

Ray closed his mouth tightly. He breathed through his nose in short puffs.

"Right, ye don't wanna answer. That's okay"

"They're dead" Ray said softly, still feeling the familiar burn behind his eyes at the mention of them.

"I'm so sorry" Brendan said awkwardly, patting Ray on the shoulder roughly.

"It was a long time ago" Ray replied, looking towards the ceiling again.

"How did it happen?"

"Car accident. I was fourteen. Had two younger brothers to look after"

"That's rough"

"Yep"

They were silent once more.

"What about you?" Ray asked. "You got family besides Cheryl?"

"Sure" Brendan nodded. "Got me boys"

"Your parents?"

Brendan looked down. "Don't talk to my Da much anymore. We didn't exactly see eye to eye growing up"

Ray nodded, expecting this answer. It explained a lot. "And your Ma?"

"Great woman. Couldn't cope with the likes of me though. Sent me off to live with Da when I was a teenager"

"I bet that was hard"

"Ye, brand new family to deal with, our Chez" Brendan smiled affectionately in a way Ray noticed he only did for Cheryl.

"You get one well with your sis?"

"Oh ye, she's my best friend" Brendan said quietly.

"Were you always honest with her?"

Brendan glanced at Ray, looking uncomfortable. "Nah, she had to find out the hard way"

"What will you do when you leave here?" Ray asked curiously.

"Go back to work. Get me life back on track"

"And Stephen?"

Brendan looked troubled for a moment. "That lad deserves better than me"

"I don't think he would see it that way"

"No…doesn't change anything though"

Ray nodded. "You love him though, don't you?"

"Why do ye ask such things?" Brendan sighed, clearly agitated.

"Because you need to face up to it. I bet you've never even said it"

"Well, I haven't"

"Say it now"

Brendan gave Ray a hard look. "Men don't love each other"

"Oh don't they? Do I not love Donny then? Does he not love me?"

"Alright then. I don't love men"

"Do you love me?"

"Ray-"

"Not like that, don't panic. You love me as a man, as a friend, right?"

"That's not the same…"

"Isn't it? Why's that then?"

Brendan looked confused. "I don't know what yer getting at…"

Ray sighed, exasperated. "You have mates; male mates like me who I assume you care for…"

Brendan smirked a little. "Not many, maybe one other"

"Okay, that's fine. Do you love Stephen like you love them?"

Brendan frowned. "I…I honestly couldn't say"

"How do you love your friends?"

"Well, ye would do anything for them"

"Okay, and I'm guessing that applies to Stephen as well?"

"Ye…"

"Would you sleep with your friends?"

Brendan raised an eyebrow. "Okay, stupid question" Ray tried again. "Would you see a future with your friends? Like have them to yourself all the time, maybe even live together, sleep in the same bed. Read the paper in the morning, sleep and play under the duvet on a Sunday. Kiss them like there's no tomorrow. Hold them like they are the most precious person in the entire world. Treasure them like you would no one else"

Brendan frowned more deeply. "I don't like what ye are getting at…"

"Can you honestly say you haven't thought about Stephen and those things?"

"They're a fantasy" Brendan growled.

"They don't have to be. Me and Donny had that, and more. It is possible for two men to love each other; I'm living proof of it"

Brendan looked disturbed. "I can't…love him. It isn't right"

"Does it feel right though?" Ray asked softly. "When you're with him, or any man for that matter. Does it feel wrong?"

"I guess not…"

Ray nodded. "You'll get there, Brendan". He felt disappointed; he really believed that this time he would get through to him. He didn't understand why it felt so important to do so but he longed for it.

Ray felt a movement by his side. He turned and looked at Brendan and saw him shaking slightly, clearly struggling with something. Ray was alarmed for a moment and almost reached out to him but then he realised Brendan was trying to say something. He kept opening and closing his mouth with obvious difficultly. Ray bent closer so he could hear him clearly. His words came out in a shaky breath, full of meaning.

"I…love him"

Ray felt an explosion of joy in his chest. He had finally gotten through to him. He felt elated and proud. This was a clear step in the right direction for Brendan, a step to accepting who he was and who he loved. It was a long journey, Ray knew, but he was glad that he was here to witness Brendan's.