A/N: Special thanks to everyone who reads/reviews the story. I'm up to over 15k views, and lots of favorites, but reviews are almost dead. Favorites and views are a good sign, but I love getting reviews!

Here's another update! There isn't tons of stuff going on, but I do have the next chapter mostly written so if people are still reading this, it hopefully won't be too long until the next update!

Something woke Leo up. He was positive that he heard someone move. He knew it wasn't Splinter; his father had already accidentally woke him up when he was leaving to return to his room to meditate and try to calm himself. His father had put his hand on Leo's shoulder, smiled sadly at him, then quietly retired to his room, knowing that his older children would care for the youngest in his absence.

That was 3 hours ago. He looked to his right and noted that Donnie was still sleeping. Good, he needs it. Poor kid had to patch up Mikey, while Raph and I did nothing but fight.

He looked up to the bed and noted his red-clad brother sleeping. He probably finally passed out for good. A cat nap will only sustain you for so long.

He looked next to Raph, and saw only empty sheets where another turtle should have been. NO! Mikey! How did he get passed three ninjas!? Leo shook his head. Not a good ninja, huh Mike? Guess you proved that wrong didn't you.

He ran to the living room, finding no one, and finding no sign that Mikey had been there. He looked in the kitchen, and in the dojo, but there was nothing. Frantic, he was about to run back into the bedroom to wake his brothers when he heard a flushing sound and running water.

The bathroom. He just wanted to use the bathroom. I panicked over the bathroom. Leo laughed despite everything and shook his head. Could have been worse though, Leo. Don't make such a small deal out of it.

Leo was staring absentmindedly at the door when Mikey finally opened it. The youngest stopped dead in his tracks, staring at his oldest brother, unsure of what he should do next. The oldest stared back at Mikey, equally unsure.

They continued to stare at each other for a few seconds, before Leo uttered a quiet, "Morning, Mikey."

"Yeah, umm, morning Leo." Mikey replied, clearly uncomfortable.

"Did you manage to sleep ok?" Leo questioned. "Even if you had someone taking up half of your bed?"

Mikey managed a small smile at Leo's attempt at humor. "I slept ok. Raph snores a lot though, so I can't hear out of my right ear all that much right now."

Leo laughed in return. "Yeah, I don't know how you manage to sleep in the same room with him. I hear him from my own room and it gets annoying."

"You learn to live with it, I guess." Mikey said with a shrug.

"I suppose so."

Leo was happy that they were able to talk, no matter how awkward it was, but it wasn't enough. Leo wanted to have a real conversation with Mikey, do something, or at least say something to start mending the bridge between them. Something, anything, to show Mikey how much he truly meant to him.

They stood across from each other for a few more awkward seconds before Mikey spoke. "I'll just go back and lie down I guess. Umm, Raph may wake up and he'll freak out if I'm not there when he does."

Leo looked back at the room, then back to Mikey. The orange banded turtle then realized why his oldest brother was awake and standing at the bathroom door.

"Is that why you're here? Because I got out of bed?"

"I heard a noise," Leo started, "and Don was still out of it, Raph was still sleeping and you were gone. I had to get up and make sure you were ok."

"Sorry, Leo."

"Don't be. You had to use the bathroom, and I overreacted."

"Yeah, but, I guess I really hadn't thought of you guys worrying if you woke up with me gone."

"Of course we'd worry. We'd search high and low for you if it came down to it. If you weren't in that bathroom, I'd be searching for you right now. But you were in there, and it's fine, and you're ok. That's what matters."

Mikey nodded his head, and went to make his way to his room. Leo watched him as he was leaving, not sure what to do. Say something! Again, this is why he thinks you hate him, because you stare at him like an idiot. You're the big brother, fix this. Swallow your pride; your brother's life is worth more than your damn pride.

"Hey, Mikey?" Leo asked quietly. Mikey stopped and looked to his big brother with a questioning look. "Can...can we talk?"

"Leo, I…"

"Please, Mikey. If you don't want to talk that's fine, just please listen to me." Leo pleaded.

Mikey didn't know how to react. Why does he sound so desperate to talk to me? Like he wants to actually talk, not lecture me. He stared at his oldest brother for a while, noting the pleading and worried look in his brother's eyes. It wasn't the usual one that he saw from him when he wanted to give him a speech, it was one of concern and, strangely, fear. Like he's scared I'll say no? What's wrong with Leo?

"Ok...ok Leo." Mikey agreed. "Why not."

Leo thanked whatever deity that was listening to him as he guided his little brother to his room to talk alone. He sat Mikey on his bed, and sat next to him trying to come up with the right words so he didn't make this worse.

Mikey was sitting there nervously, not sure what was going to happen. Maybe he'll end up lecturing me on what I did, and what I wanted to do. That's what Leo does best. So why isn't he doing anything yet?

"So…" Leo began, nervously rubbing the back of his head. "How are your arms feeling?"

Mikey looked down at his bandaged arms, thinking it over. "They're ok. They tingle a little when I move too fast and pull on a stitch or a scab, but they're ok overall."

Leo couldn't help but sigh sadly at his brother's explanation. "I'm sorry Leo. I shouldn't have said it that way."

"Don't be sorry, little one." Leo said, sounding a little choked up. "I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry."

"For what?"

Leo shook his head. "For what? For everything."

"But I don't…"

"You don't disappoint me." Leo interrupted. "Not even a little. I know how hard it is for you to focus and concentrate with what you have and I appreciate all the effort you go through to stay as focused as you do. I know I came across like I didn't like you but, I do. I do, so much. You...I know I lecture a lot and I get now that it's why it seems like I don't like you, but that's not..."

"MIKEY!?" Both turtles turned towards the bedroom to see Raphael run into the living room in a panic. "Mikey! Where the hell are ya?!" Leo watched as Raph put his hands on his head, shaking in disbelief. "How did I miss him moving? Where would he go?" Raph was talking to himself while looking helplessly around the living room. "Leo! Donnie! Mikey's gone!"

Mikey hesitated for moment, before jumping off his oldest brother's bed, current conversation forgotten for the time being. He ran into the living room to his brother, to try and calm him down.

"Raphie! I'm right here!" Mikey stood in front of his brother. "See? I'm fine. I just…"

"Mikey!" Raph shouted, relief flowing through him. He rushed to his baby brother and hugged him as if he hadn't seen him in years. At the same time, Donnie came rushing out of the bedroom and saw Raph and Mikey hugging. He also noticed Leo was still sitting on his bed, looking slightly upset and disappointed.

"Where did you go!?" Raphael asked Mkey after a few minutes. "I woke up and you were gone and I had no clue where you went or why and…"

"I just had to use the little turtle's room, Raph." Mikey smiled. "That's all. I'm sorry I worried you."

Raphael couldn't help but laugh. "So I just lost it because you had to take a leak? Guess I'm a little too paranoid."

Mikey sighed sadly. "I made you that way. I'm really sorry."

"Hey, don't worry about it." Raph said as he wrapped his arm around Mikey's smaller frame. "You're alright and that's what matters." He looked at Mikey questioningly. "You are ok, or as ok as you can be, right?"

"Yeah, Raphie." Mikey smiled. "I'm fine." Or I will be, soon. Hopefully.

"Ok then, since we're up, we might as well eat." Raph dragged Mikey with him to the kitchen. "C'mon squirt, let's get some breakfast."

"I'm really not that hungry, Raph."

"I'm sorry, what? You're not hungry? You love to eat!" Raph said with a smile. "But seriously, you need to eat a little something, at least."

Reluctantly, Mikey followed his brother to the kitchen while Donnie went to see his oldest sibling. He entered Leo's room and looked to his brother sitting quietly on his bed.

"Morning Leo."

Leo looked up with a small smile. "Morning Don. Feeling better?"

"Yeah, I am." Donnie smiled. "Thanks, Leo."

"Don't worry about it." Leo said with a shrug. "If you ever need to talk, I'm here, ok?"

Donnie merely nodded. "Speaking of needing to talk, are you ok?"

"I tried to talk to Mikey." Leo replied.

"I take it that it didn't go well?" Donnie asked quietly.

"It was going ok.I was trying to tell him what I wanted to tell him, but Raph ran out into the living room in a panic and I never got to finish."

"Don't worry, Leo." Donnie comforted. "You'll have lots of time to talk to him and make things right again. So it didn't work right now, try later today or something."

"Yeah, I guess I could." Leo then added a quiet "Thank you, Donnie."

Donnie nodded and turned back towards his lab. "I'm going to finish cleaning up from last night. It wasn't exactly something I was worried about at the time, you know?"

"Of course, Don. Would you like some help?"

Donnie looked at him in surprise. Leo usually never offered to help clean his lab. Donnie smiled at his oldest brother. "Sure. An extra hand cleaning up everything will make it go that much faster. You don't want to get breakfast first?"

"I'm not hungry, yet." Leo shrugged. "Besides, Raph and Mikey should have some time alone to talk."

"You think it'll be ok?" Don asked, worried. He knew that Raph had a temper and didn't even want to imagine how badly Mikey would take that anger being directed at him right now.

"They should be fine." Leo said. "Raph is Mikey's hero right? If Mikey will talk to anyone it would be him. I doubt that Raph would do something right now to hurt Mikey."

"Yeah, guess you're right." Donnie agreed. He turned to leave Leo's room, seeing that Leo wasn't moving. "You coming?"

Leo nodded and followed his younger brother out of his room. He paused for a moment at the entrance of the kitchen and saw his other brothers at the breakfast table. Despite the youngest's insistence that he wasn't hungry, his red-banded brother made him a bowl of cereal and was now sitting with him, watching Mikey reluctantly eat. Leo shook his head for a moment, before disappearing into Donnie's lab.

"Well, this proves it." Raph said to Mikey with a shrug. "You said you were fine. If you were fine, you'd be done that bowl and on your second, or third by now. So obviously, you're not fine."

"Ah c'mon Raph," his baby brother defended. "I had a hard night. I just don't feel like eating right now. Maybe later?"

"Yeah, we all had a rough night last night." He reminded Mikey. "It's a lot to take in, y'know? The whole depressed bit and the...well, all of it really."

Raph shook his head to try to forget that train of thought and saw Mikey moving his wrist around, looking uncomfortable. Seeing him do that for some reason almost made him snap at his brother, but he took a breath to settle himself down instead.

At this rate, I'm going to need to knit everyday for a month to calm down.

"So…" Raph asked, after he calmed down a little."Did Donnie take care of everything that needed to be taken care of last night?" He tried to hide the bitterness of being left out of the lab, but some of it still seeped through and it didn't go unnoticed by the youngest.

Mikey put the spoon in the bowl, putting his arms under the table, lowering his head to hide his face from his brother. "I'm sorry Raphie, I really am, it's just…" Mikey sighed and was silent for a while. Raph sat back and crossed his arms, waiting. "Everyone didn't need to be in there. I didn't want everyone to see what I did and tell me how stupid I was for doing it. Shell, I didn't even let dad see them, and he's the one that convinced me to go see Donnie. I still kind of wish I had said no, but can't change the past right?"

"Were they ok? The cuts I mean." Raph had to know. He wanted to know his brother was at least physically healing. "Donnie patched them all up right?"

"Yeah," Mikey nodded absentmindedly. "One was starting to get infected, and another one I had was cut pretty deep and it took a while to patch up. The rest were relatively ok, though."

"How can they be ok?" Raph blurted out, slamming his hand on the table. The whole situation finally got the best of him. "You sliced your arms, willingly, for shell knows what reasons you thought were ok, and now you're casually telling me that those cuts are now 'relatively ok'!?" Mikey looked up from the floor, allowing his bigger brother to berate him, knowing that it was coming at some point.

"Well isn't that just great!" Raph continued, response dripping in sarcasm and his anger on full display. "They're 'relatively ok'! Well thank shell for that! Me and Leo weren't allowed in that room because you didn't want us, even when you knew we were worried about you, and the best I get is 'relatively ok'!? I deserve better than that!"

"What more do you deserve!?" Mikey shouted back, hurt and upset by his older brother's tirade. "I told you what you asked for, he fixed them and they're ok. Not the best, but ok. He cleaned them up with whatever the shell he has in there. They sting, and they hurt. So yes, they're "ok" but they're hurting me, so 'relatively ok' sounds just about right."

Mikey pushed his cereal aside and stood up from the table. "As for why I didn't want you guys in there, it was because I don't need more people seeing how fucked up I really am! I had enough knowing that Donnie saw them and was playing 20 questions with himself about all the reasons why I did it, and I didn't need the two of you in there actually asking me the damn questions that Donnie at least had the decency to ask in his head! I didn't want the two of you to see this. I don't need you all to be more disappointed in me than you already are."

"Where is this disappointed thing even coming from!?" Raph shouted. "Name me one time I have ever said or shown that I was disappointed in you."

"I dropped the pizza on the basketball court. You bitched at me all the way home about how I need to be more careful and how I ruined our way of watching the games."

"I was mad Mikey, not disappointed."

"It's the same thing coming from you!" Mikey shouted, facing his older brother. "I messed up the one thing we did for fun where no one would find us! Of course you were disappointed! All of you were!"

Raphael paused for a moment, realizing what Mikey was getting at. "You hurt yourself after that, didn't you?"

Mikey looked away from his brother. "I screwed up, again. I deserved to be punished."

"Bullshit you did!" Raphael couldn't mask the look of horror on his face. "I got mad and yelled at you. That was punishment enough. No knives needed to get involved! You didn't have to scar yourself up because you dropped a slice of pizza onto a basketball court."

"I needed a reminder to not screw up again!" Mikey shouted back, facing his brother but moving around to align himself to the lair exit for a quick getaway.

Raph fell silent again, staring at his brother's arm. His eyes widened suddenly, realizing his mistake. Mikey took note of the change in his brother's demeanour.

"Raphie? What's wrong?" Mikey asked, worried about his brother.

"If I…" the older turtle began, then stopped just as suddenly. He looked up from Mikey's arm to look him in the eye. "If I hadn't have got mad at you, you wouldn't have hurt yourself. You wouldn't have thought that I was disappointed and it wouldn't have happened." Raph shook his head, still mad, but also feeling guilty. "The last thing I would have thought you would have done was that!"

"It's not your fault, Raph." Mikey tried his best to comfort his big brother. "Whether you yelled at me or not, I still would have done it."

Raphael's shot up in surprise and shock. Oops, I shouldn't have said that.

"How many other times did you decide slicing yourself up was 'deserved'!?" Raph shouted. "How many times did we ask you if you were ok, and you told us you were fine, but you really weren't?"

"Raphie, stop…"

Mikey could feel the tears falling on his cheeks. The guilt he felt putting his brothers through all this was too much for him. THIS shouldn't be happening. I'm still alive, which makes it that much harder for them to get over this. If I were dead this morning like I was supposed to be, at least the wound could start to heal. It can't heal if I'm still alive; the wound is still open with me here. I'm so sorry I screwed this up again big bros. I'm sorry. I'm sorry…

"How many times did we disturb you cutting because we called you to know where you were, when you were late coming home, and we were worried that something happened to you? How many times did..."

"I'm sorry!" Mikey finally shouted out to the surprise of his big brother. "I'm sorry, ok? Are you happy now!? I'm sorry. I'm sorry I lied about being happy. I'm sorry I pretended like everything was alright and I'm sorry that all of this happened."

"Mikey, look…"

"It wasn't supposed to be this way." Mikey continued wiping at his eyes. "You were all supposed to start healing now, getting over this and moving on." Mikey was slowly backing up towards the exit. "This wasn't supposed to happen."

"Mikey, just calm down." Raph tried to soothe him and approach his baby brother. "I'm sorry I lost it…"

Mikey shook his head and back away more from Raph. "You guys shouldn't be worried about what might set me off and be in a constant panic. Hell, I scared you all when I went to the bathroom! That's not fair. It's not fair to any of you. I'm sorry."

Leo and Donnie had heard raised voices coming from the kitchen and opened the lab door to see what was going on. They saw Raph slowly trying to approach Mikey, like he was trying to not to scare him, and saw Mikey backing away from him, in tears. Leo noted where Mikey was backing away to; the lair exit.

Oh no. Leo thought. No, no, no! If he leaves, he won't be coming back alive.

A/N 2: Bit of a cliffhanger! Try as he might, Raph can't keep his temper in check. He tried, but the whole thing was bound to make him snap sooner or later; I'm sure Leo didn't expect Raph to snap like that at him. He may have a word or two to say to his temperamental brother at some point.

Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think!