Yugi was still having nightmares. They weren't as often, and they weren't as painful, yet they were still there. And he didn't know why. Now that Yami was back to good terms with him, and the student wasn't afraid of him anymore, things had gotten better. Yugi felt stronger, and wasn't always tired anymore.
But still, he wished that he knew why some female vampire with honey eyes was trying to kill him with such a vengeance in his subconscious. He wondered where he had seen them before.
The teenager walked into his house at about five o'clock that afternoon. He was trying to come home even earlier than usual because he felt bad about leaving Yami all alone for so long. It wasn't like the two did much when they bonded, but it still felt nice to just sit next to each other while one read a book and the other thought. It was hard for both of them to read at the same time, because their minds would comprehend what the other was thinking.
Ever since the incident, Yugi had kept his mind wide open. He did not care what Yami saw, and even if it could have gotten him in trouble, he'd let Yami see it anyway. Generally, Yugi did nothing wrong. He was a good kid, and everyone knew it.
That wasn't really a good thing, though.
No, what Yugi didn't want Yami to see was the fact that not everyone else was good. No one hit him anymore, but the teasing still hurt. That would always hurt.
Yet at the same time, Yami's mind had been slightly closed off as of late. Yugi wasn't positive, but he thought that it had something to do with Yami wanting to protect Yugi's privacy. Now that…that felt good. Yami didn't want to learn anything unless Yugi was going to say it, and that one simple gesture was enough to make Yugi feel like the most respected person in the world.
"Hello, Aibou," Yami said contentedly from his spot on the computer. He looked like he was just finishing a report for one of the few superiors that he had left. Since he had gotten the job years ago, he had passed many people in the rankings. Yami didn't really care; his job was his job, but Yugi felt proud of him. Yugi was always proud of Yami. "How was school today?"
He was grateful, too.
"Hi Yami," Yugi returned, laying his book bag on a dining room chair. Yami never told him to put his stuff away because he always did it anyway. "It wasn't bad."
The vampire closed all of his files in favor of turning around to stare at Yugi; his crimson eyes flashed with characteristic concern, "But it wasn't good?" The smallest flash of a smile played at Yami's lips, but it was gone before long. He was worried.
Yugi only shrugged, "No, I was thinking a lot today." He paused, wondering if Yami was going to say anything. He didn't, "I had another one of those dreams last night."
"I had another one of those dreams last night."
Atemu sighed at the words that came out of his aibou's mouth. He loved that Yugi was being more honest and open towards him now; his mind link was there for him to see 24/7, but he wished that he could give the same honesty back. Maybe he could, but he didn't want to start something that might have been nothing. He didn't want to worry Yugi about Nimataka.
Of course the person in the dreams was Nimataka, but what would Yugi say if he knew that? He would think that something bad was going to happen, as bad things often happened to Yugi, whether he deserved them or not. He never deserved them.
Besides, Atemu was almost positive that he knew what was going on. Yugi's mind link was so wide open that he was probably starting to pick up a lot of things from the vampire's memory. Even though he had closed off his own mind only slightly in response, he didn't want to make Yugi feel like he was trying to close him out.
But he was trying to close him out.
Maybe that wasn't the best thing, though. Yugi had tried to do the same thing on many occasions. The first time he was sent to the hospital because of Atemu's attempt to gain back that trust. The second time, Yugi ended up so afraid that their relationship was almost ruined for good. For Atemu, there wasn't a hospital. Either he was 'alive', or he wasn't. And he didn't want to leave Yugi alone.
Maybe telling him the whole truth for once was going to be the right thing after all.
"Come here, Yugi," Atemu said, getting up off of the computer chair to sit on the sofa, "I need to talk to you."
Yugi walked over to the vampire with something less that excitement in his mind. He tried to close his emotions off, but feel Yami right there, telling him that it was okay to feel that way. he could He kept the passage open.
He was wondering what Yami was going to tell him; he didn't need the slight trepidation in his own emotions to see that the vampire was feeling uneasy. Plus, he used Yugi's real name, not their nickname. As a result, the student began to feel uneasy as well. He didn't like it. "Is something wrong?"
Yami shook his head, but Yugi could tell that he wasn't sure if he meant it or not, "No, not really. I just want to share something with you that might make you feel a little worried. But I want you to know anyway, because too much has been has been going on lately to just keep you in the dark."
Noting the use of the word 'dark' by a vampire, Yugi went to the couch and sat down next to his surrogate parent. For some reason he could only remember the ill-fated times that he sat there; he didn't like that, either, "Okay…what is it?"
"I want to tell you the full reason why I've been keeping my mind a little locked," Yami said, apparently struggling to find the correct words. Yugi became even more confused than before. He thought that he already knew why Yami was closing him off just the slightest bit. What else could it have been?
Something shifted in Yugi's own separate mind, but he tried to ignore it. He hoped that that wasn't what Yami was thinking as well.
Atemu was having a very hard time with this; if he continued with what he wanted to tell Yugi, he would have to admit that he was lying to him for a little while, and he didn't want to risk Yugi's trust once more. There were only so many weights that you could attach to a string before it broke, after all.
Then again, if he was to lose Yugi's trust over this, it would be nothing less than what he deserved. He had once again gambled Yugi's feelings over his trust or vice-versa, and he could not continue to do that. He had to decide which was more important, or least when to use each ploy in different situations. He had to learn to do that at the proper time, as well.
"I-I thought that you did that because you wanted me to tell you things," Yugi said slowly and a little unhinged; his voice was jumping; he was afraid.
"I do," Atemu said quickly, not wanting to think that he was wrong; the smaller was just a little misinformed. Besides, Yugi telling the truth always felt better than Atemu having to pry it from him. That barely ever happened at all, "There's just more to it that I think you should know. I probably should have told you sooner."
"Well, what is it?" Yugi was now sounding a little demanding; his fear was mounting, and the vampire hoped that the level wouldn't get any higher than that. But of course it would; this was news that even Atemu was not sure of, so it could end up being dangerous if it was not said right.
To make matters worse, Atemu could sense a thought in the back of Yugi's mind. The student was trying to ignore it with all of his consciousness, but from what the vampire could see, he wasn't going to be able to ignore it for much longer.
"Yugi," Atemu started, taking one of those breaths that he didn't need at all. He wondered if they made Yugi nervous, but didn't think to see, "Three thousand years ago, before I was a vampire, I had a lover. Her name was Nimataka."
"A-huh," Yugi said slowly, "But I already knew all that. What are you trying to tell me?" He shook his head, while Atemu only looked on sadly. Yugi already knew, but he didn't want this truth to actually end up being true.
"She…" Atemu decided to get this over with quickly, "She had honey eyes."
Honey eyes…
Yugi couldn't keep the thought in the back of his mind any longer. The person, the vampire, that was in his dreams, his very mind, was a three-thousand year old vampire? Yugi didn't want to believe it, but he knew that it was true. Yami wouldn't lie to him.
Even though it scared him beyond all belief.
Just as all humans weren't the same, all vampires couldn't have been the same, either. Yami was nice and kind and wise, but if this woman could instill such fear in his dreams, then what would the reality be like?
The student felt sick to his stomach, "Well," He paused, trying to calm down his heartbeat, "W-what does that have to do with our link?"
He didn't understand; he was too nervous, and Yami must have seen that, because he suddenly looked a little regretful, "No, you misunderstood me," He said earnestly, "That's not what I meant. I don't think that she's after you."
"Then, what do you think?" Yugi asked. Yami wasn't very good at these kind of talks, he was more of a hug-you-and-make-you-feel-better kind of guy. But still…he wouldn't have said something like that if at least a little of him didn't think it. Yami was, at the core, just as confused, and maybe just as scared, as Yugi was.
The thought wasn't comforting.
"I think that you're remembering my memories," Yami said clearly. "That's why I've been a little distant lately. You're getting clips of what I felt, and that's why everything is so dark, other than her eyes."
It wasn't comforting at all, and that was basically because of one thing with many attachments, "But…it's always so…" He faded off, not sure if saying it would be safe or not.
"Painful," The vampire said simply, "I know…it was. I loved her a lot, Yugi. It hurt to have her do that to me."
The mood was suddenly too grim for Yugi to handle well. He tried to think of something; anything, "Her eyes were beautiful, Yami…"
That wasn't quite it.
"I know, aibou…I know. She was very beautiful, I've told you before."
Yugi had never fully realized, until now, how much Yami was missing the vampire from over 300 lifetimes ago. He really did love her, but since Yugi had never met her, he couldn't have known; he couldn't have really seen. It upset him to know that Yami would probably never love again. Not like that.
"I don't want you to feel sorry for me, Yugi. That part of my life is over now, and I had gotten over it long ago." Yami's deep voice interrupted Yugi gently, and he was surprised to see that Yami was now sitting much closer to him. His thoughts must have been too loud to ignore.
"But didn't you-"
"I did love her, and I always will. But once she was turned and she lost herself, that's when the Nimataka I loved died." Yami said, his eyes showing something of the past. He could remember her face so clearly, but Yugi didn't want to look; it wasn't any of his business, and Yami deserved at least some privacy.
The mood changed, though, when Yami began talking again. It was lighter, "But there's someone else that I love now, Aibou, and while it's a different kind of love, it's just as strong." He smiled, and Yugi smiled back at him.
The teenager was scared, but not as much anymore. Yami said it himself; she was gone now. He hadn't seen her in so long, that it was probably impossible that she was still in the world that they inhabited. She was long gone, and even if she was invading Yugi's dreams, she wasn't real. She was only a memory.
Yami would protect him from those memories.
Yugi sat in his room, silently fiddling with an elaborate golden 3-d puzzle before mentally forcing himself to go do homework that was going to be due the next day…maybe it was actually going to be that morning; Yugi hadn't looked at his clock in a long while. And to tell one the truth, it didn't even matter what the time said, because Yugi knew that as long as he did good in school, Yami wouldn't mind.
Yami would never mind, even if Yugi was a failure at everything that he did in life. Yami would always love him, and Yami would always be proud of him, no matter what; even though Yugi had never done anything to tip the vampire's opinion in his favor.
But, Yugi mused, finally setting the half-finished contraption down on his desk, He loves me anyway…and I guess that that's what it means to be in a family…a real family…
Yugi stood up and stretched, not really caring about his homework due the next day. He could probably get away with doing it before class or during lunch. He slid his shirt off of his small frame, trying not to look at himself in the mirror; he hated his scars…he hated how he was so weak and that, along with his obvious mental strains, his skin was marked with those ugly raised marks.
A noise suddenly clattered outside of his room, and Yugi jumped, clutching his cotton tee to his bare chest. After a few seconds of silence, he breathed a little easier. It was probably just Yami, though the vampire wasn't known to stumble or fall. Actually, his surrogate parent was very graceful, had never, as far as Yugi was concerned, lost his footing before.
The student sighed audibly and shrugged, going in search of something to wear while he slept. He knew that he was just being paranoid, and even if he was supposed to be acting just a little paranoid, he just wasn't sure how much was enough.
Yami would tell him that he was being fine; that he wasn't being paranoid, and that he had the right to be just a little scared, because things happened to him in his past that didn't happen every day.
…Yugi just wasn't sure if he could believe him.
He had, by this time, ultimate trust in the vampire that raised him, but…could he really believe someone who always had his best interests at heart? Did things really work that way in his life? In anyone's life?
Yugi paused once more in his search for clothing; he heard his door creak open behind him, yet, when he turned quickly on both of his heels, his legs crossing as he moved, no one was there. He furrowed his thin brows in slight frustration; he distinctly heard the familiar creak of the hinges, but the door was closed, in the exact position it had been when Yami left to his own room after saying good-night.
So why did he hear that noise?
Suddenly, two cold arms, not unlike the feel of Yami's own skin, wrapped themselves around Yugi's bare slim waist. He shivered, because even those this flesh was the same temperature as Yami's, the attitude, the way that this person…woman…pressed into his skin…
He suddenly felt cold air in his ear…a tongue lightly caressed his flesh, and…far from being aroused by this, Yugi was scared. "Who…who are you?"
She didn't answer, and the only sort of responses or movements that Yugi got were the strong fingernails that began to slide effortlessly into his skin. He winced and sucked in a quick breath as he felt warm blood slide down his fevered flesh. It pooled at the waist of his jeans, but those fingers only began to dig deeper, holding him close to this unknown being. This being that didn't breathe.
"Come on, now…" She said softly, holdingYugi still as his legs gave out in intense fear and shock, "This won't hurt…just relax…you'll feel so much better…"
Yugi couldn't help but somehow believe her as tears welled up in his eyes and fell down his face at the same time. He was scared, and…Didn't Yami know what was happening? Didn't he feel the shock and fear that was forcibly leaking itself out of his mind?
Still supported by the nails that were now fully embedded in his hips, the woman lowered him to the ground and spoke to him, whispering as if she knew exactly what he was thinking, "He's not coming; he wants this to happen, you know. That's why he asked you all those years ago…"
Yugi sniffed. He knew that whoever this woman was, that whatever she wanted from him…she was right. Three years ago, when Yami asked him if he wanted to be turned into a vampire, he knew that by refusing Yami, the vampire had been seriously hurt, and that something inside of him hadn't been quite the same since, but…he didn't know that Yami would actually want someone to
force this on him…"What are you doing?" He asked in a quaking voice as the vampire began to open up his old scars. It hurt; blood dripped out them, free from the messily healed tissue. "Why?"
"Look at me, beautiful…" She said softly, finally lifting one of her slender fingers out of Yugi's skin and staining his soft blond hair as she ran those bloody fingers through it, "Don't be afraid…you need to see."
And slowly, though still too quickly for his mind, Yugi opened his eyes as already crimson fingers dug delicately into his face. They traced his scar that the bullies from school gave him, and they reopened the even older scar from so long ago; the one that his parents forced onto him…
She…this vampire…she was beautiful. Her hair was dark and long and straight, and sharp honey eyes gleamed out for him in the darkness. Her skin was tan…but it looked so much paler than it could be, just like…just like…
She ran her fingernail down Yugi's face again, then broke the raised skin on his scarred shoulders and back. Yugi shivered at her touch, having no other option available to him. This woman simply radiated with power…she could probably kill him with a single, effortless twist of his neck if he tried to get away. He couldn't even try.
"Why are you doing this?" He asked, trying to keep control of his voice but failing miserably; it shook as she drew a crimson line down his bare chest…cracked as she drew a circle right around his rapidly beating heart.
"Well, my dear," She said, bring her blood-stained fingers up to her lips as if to sample something sweet, "If I don't, then you'll have these scars forever…so many scars…You're too beautiful for all of these ugly marks, you know."
Yugi could only shake his head, "I don't want to…I don't want to…" He whispered over and over again, feebly shaking his shoulders and torso in an attempt to break free. He didn't want this…he wanted to know that he would die one day…that this life wouldn't last forever…that one day all of this pain that he had, it would be gone, all gone, "I don't…"
Yet the vampiress wasn't listening. She took no heed to Yugi's words and bent over slowly before breathing onto fevered pale flesh with dead murky air, "You don't…but…" Leisurely, she placed an almost gentle hand on Yugi's small skull and turned it towards the door, where someone was waiting…watching…
…It was Yami with a new, terrifying look on his face.
…Desire.
Yugi whimpered as he stared into those now cold red eyes.
"He does."
"Yugi! Yugi, wake up!"
Yugi's violet eyes opened forcibly. He was shaking so hard, the tears were falling so fast, it was as if the water was his air, and because he lost it, he couldn't breathe. "Yami…" He whispered, "Yami, it's not your memory, it's not."
There was a split second pause that took far too long for Yami to grab a hold of, "What do you mean, 'Not a memory?' Of course it's a memory, she's gone. Yugi, she's gone."
"No!" Yugi said, folding his arms to his chest, making sure that there was no blood leaking out of old scar tissue, no crimson seeping out of his pores, "She was there, touching me, talking to me. About you, about me…Yami, this was real."
"No, shh," Yami said softly, pulling Yugi into his lap and whispering; Yugi didn't like how his voice was quavering. It meant that Yami was scared, too. Yami wasn't supposed to get scared, "It was a dream, nothing else, Yugi. What I told you just triggered something in your head, okay? That was it. Nothing else. Do you understand?"
Yugi could tell that Yami was also trying to comfort himself, not just Yugi. He was afraid that she was going to come back, and by doing so, ruin everything that Yami had managed to build up for himself. Including Yugi. Yugi meant that much to the vampire.
The smaller took deep breaths. Maybe Yami was right. Yami was right. He told Yugi the truth earlier that day, so he wouldn't go and lie now. It all made sense, anyways. He was just scared. That was all. It was all in his mind.
…Everything.
"Yami?" Yugi asked, trying to get as close as possible to the vampire that he was sitting on, "Yami, can I ask you something?"
"Of course," The vampire answered. Yugi could tell that he was very confused. He must have somehow shut off his mind while he was sleeping. It was odd, but then again, so was their connection; it was bound to do something weird at one point, right?
"Three years ago…" He started, realizing that even though that time period for him was humongous, for the vampire, it was nothing but a second, "When you asked to turn me and I refused…do you hate me for it?" As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Yugi turned away. He shouldn't have asked. He shouldn't have brought it up. How stupid.
"Do you hate me for it?"
Atemu's eyes went wide. He…did not know how to answer this question, or even that Yugi was still thinking about it. He could never hate Yugi, he couldn't even hate something that he thought or did, it was just not possible for him. But he wasn't disappointed, either. He wasn't sure what he was.
"Of course I don't hate you."
"But," Yugi said, apparently perplexed, "But you wanted it so bad. I shouldn't have said no. You gave me so much, and saved me so many times. My life should be yours, to do what want with it. I owe you that, don't I?"
"No," Atemu said a little more forceful than he intended. He felt Yugi jump a little in his lap, "Aibou, I wanted to help you. It doesn't mean that you owe me anything. I've never thought about it that way. That day, I was selfish. I shouldn't asked you such an important question while you were so young and hurt. I didn't want to be a vampire, it was forced on me. Why should I have expected anything different from you?"
"But-" Yugi started again.
"Yugi, I don't know what happened in that dream, but it wasn't real. None of it was real. Not what she told you, or what I might have done or said. None of it. Please believe me." Why was he begging? Even Atemu didn't believe himself. He was trying to take back what he told Yugi earlier, but he couldn't. He could only cover it up with other things. Other lies. Other hopes.
Atemu's hopes. He hoped that Nimataka was gone; he knew that she was gone.
So why was his heart disagreeing with him?
The vampire sat with Yugi for a long time. The student's tears had dried because of what Atemu had told him, and now he was feeling a great deal of guilt. He had taken advantage of Yugi's trust, and might have lied to him. He couldn't stand it when his aibou cried. He just couldn't.
"I'm going to go to bed, okay Aibou? You can stay home tomorrow if you want, I don't mind." Atemu would have enjoyed it a lot if Yugi stayed home, but then again, if he was scared and worried all day, then maybe it wouldn't have been worth it. The vampire would have rather had Yugi go to school happy and relatively worriless.
"No," Yugi shook his head madly, "Would you…please stay with me tonight? I don't want to be alone."
Atemu smiled softly. Yugi was still worried, and even though that wasn't great, it was still okay because he and Yugi were feeling the same things. They were still connected. And as long as Yugi worried at least a little bit, things would be fine. "Are you sure? Having me so close might make it easier for you to have nightmares."
"No, I don't care," Yugi said quickly, though he still meant every word, "I don't care if I have them. I just want you here with me, please?"
The vampire leant over a little and kissed Yugi's forehead, then hugged him tightly, trying to share the little stability and assurance that he had, "Okay, Aibou. I'll stay with you as long as you want."
They settled down on the mattress together, Yugi buried deep in Atemu's arms. The vampire could feel and hear Yugi's steady heartbeat, as well as his warm breath and temperature. Tightening his grip against his son, Atemu let himself fall into a sleep that he didn't necessarily need.
But it was wanted, because that's where Yugi was at the time, and Atemu wanted to be with Yugi always. For Eternity.
Honey eyes still flashed.
To Be Continued
Author's Notes: Damn it damn it damn it! I forgot what I was going to write::bangs head on random bricks: I had it all worked out in my head, and I forgot. How could I do that::cries:
Okay...wow, I haven't written this story in a while. You know why? Because the last chapter sucked. Whoever it was that told me to stop using so many '...'s...I love you. I really do. :smiles:
:Amazed: I haven't made Yami straight in a really long time...I'm amazed at myself. :amazed dreamlike state:
Anyhoo...I think that was an okay chapter seeing I lost my outline, if I had one at all, that is. I don't know.
Thank you to all reviewers! ...I'm sorry that I don't have some sort of witty comment, but...I just wrote pretty much this entire chapter in 4 hours. :nods: My creativity is drained.
Please Review.