I couldn't let him win. I needed to act as normal as possible.

Easier said than done.

I found myself being driven to Spencer's house by Johnny as I needed to see him and get his opinion on this situation. Johnny parked the car and opened the door for me. "Feel free to drink." He winked causing me to let out a small laugh. He noticed how I was lower than normal. "Hey," He caught my arm before I walked to the building. "I know you're not feeling so good right now, but I'm always here."

I smiled softly. "Thanks Johnny."

He nodded. "I'll just be outside."

I used my key to get into Spencer's apartment. I called out for him and was met with a vague comment about him being in the shower. I settled for getting myself a coffee whilst I waited for him to exit the shower. Sure enough I heard the water turn off and Spencer appeared a little while later with a pair of jeans on and he was pulling on a white t-shirt. He quickly pulled me into a tight hug. "God I missed you." We sat down on the sofa and he gave me a look of concern. "I heard about what you did to Kaleb."

I laughed humourlessly. "Word spreads fast."

He didn't smile. "Even the Bat has heard about you now." There was an awkward silence between us. "What were you thinking?"

I cocked my eyebrow. "What?"

He made a noise cross between frustration and anger. "The Tabby I know would never kill someone. She's the furthest thing from a killer."

"Am I?" I questioned without even thinking about it. "Let's look at my life, I come from a damaged home, was tormented by her boyfriend for years, and was more than prepared to kill him to get away from him at that."

"Would you listen to yourself?" He nearly shouted. "This behaviour isn't normal!" His voice continued to get louder. "That monster has warped you into another version of Harley Quinn!"

"How dare you?!" I shouted back. "This coming from a man who owns a shady nightclub that's owned by this so called 'monster'. A man who deals guns and drugs on the side as well." He looked away guilty. "Yeah you didn't think I knew about that did you?"

He stood up and put his hands behind his head. "I did what I had to survive Tabatha."

"How is that any different to me Spencer?" I got up and made him face me. "How?!"

"Because you're you!"

I shook my head. "What I am is someone who has been trapped her whole life when the people around me told me I was free. The ironic thing… I've meant to have lost my freedom with the Joker. Yet I've never felt more free."

"God do you hear yourself?! You sound like a delusional, psychotic little girl!" He hed onto my arms, too hard causing me to flinch. "You need to listen to me."

"I don't need to do anything." I ripped my arms away from him. "I certainly don't need to listen to a man I've never loved."

I saw pain flicker through his eyes before I felt pain. He slapped me across my face; the shock and force behind it knocked me to my feet. I felt pain across my right side of my face and as I felt my lip I pulled away to see red on my fingers. He had split my lip. Realising what he had done, he shook free from his anger. "Tabatha…"

He tried to help me up. "Don't you dare touch me." I got up by myself. "We say thoughtless things when we're angry and I can forgive that." I could see the pain increase in his eyes with his hand held mid air. "But you… of all people striking me."

I walked around him to the door. "Tabatha I'm sorry."

I whipped around. "Fuck your apologies! You've shown me who you are, I was blinded by our friendship to see it. You're no better than any of them."