I couldn't help myself, I just had to update today, everyone is so eager! Hope you like my chapter ;)

Booth

Everything is frozen in time. Each person involved in this moment is unable to move. Standing there rigidly, she is rooted to her spot, the shattered remains of the beaker sparkling feebly at her feet. Shock intoxicates her beautiful features. I can't manage to move a muscle even though I want to take the steps two at a time and wrap her in my arms and never let go.

My mind is racing a million miles a minute. She's pregnant. She had once said that she never wanted children. Whose child is it? Has she already found another to love her? Time has been against me all along…my enemy. I knew if I waited too long…

I hastily try to shift my fearful expression into something more pleasant…but I can't wipe the shocked look off my face. I can almost see the wheels turning furiously in her head, as if she is working out how I am possibly standing here. She seems unable to make sense of the anomaly of her day. Ashen, she looks like she is about to faint but surprises everyone and turns on her heel. I can hear glass crunching under her high heels as she races in the direction of her office. She's running away from me, fleeing the scene.

I stand there peering in her direction as more glass is shuffled aside. Another pair of feet approaches. I feel a graceful hand brushing my shoulder and Angela's voice: "Booth, I-"

I walk away from her and don't acknowledge the others. I'm sure they're all as white as a sheet. I tread quietly into her office.

"So. "I say. She knew this was coming but her distress doesn't fade. She's sitting behind her desk, looking even more fearful than before. She doesn't meet my eyes. I follow suit and stare at the ground momentarily. Coward.

At a loss of what to say, I figure to state the obvious.

"You're pregnant." Still nothing.

I'm starting to get desperate now because this is not the happy reunion I envisioned. But I have to admit, it's not totally unexpected.

"Congratulations?" Yeah, great job Seeley, way to break the ice...Like this is a regular conversation. It's not like we are attempting to resurrect a friendship and love that feels like its lost, yeah it's nothing like that (I scoff sarcastically). That's when the tears overflow down her strong cheek bones and don't stop. I can't restrain myself from rushing to her side.

"Hey Bones-" The sobs become more intense and my heart bleeds for her. "Shhhh. It's okay…" I stroke her sleek hair. She seems completely overwhelmed, almost to the point of hyperventilation. Can't say that I blame her.

"You're not dead," The words come out in a choked whisper and I immediately shake my head 'no.' I continue to try to coax her into a more relaxed state. She smiles gently and I muster up my best grin. She laughs through her tears.

I continue to caress her hair and my natural instinct is to kiss her temple. I haven't been following my instincts…I need to come up with something more worthwhile to say…but I feel like my voice no longer works properly from lack of use.

"Bones, don't get hysterical again, but whose is it?...And don't get me wrong. I'm happy for you. I really am. Is it Hacker's? Because honestly, I think you can do better than him." I don't know what made me say it, even though it's the truth. I don't want to insult her in anyway.

To my immense relief she laughs and I'm beyond thankful. But I need to know the truth, so I push on. "But come on, tell me…Is it Hacker's? If it is, just ignore what I said. I'm happy for you and Hacker…" The last bit is a boldface lie. It would be natural for her to fall back with Hacker….but hearing that from her would cause me physical pain. It feels like someone is gripping my insides.

"It's not Andrew's."

I thank my lucky stars for that. She can't look me straight in the eye for very long. But with every passing moment she seems a bit braver in my presence. "It's yours."

This seems like a blissful dream and nightmare all colliding into one.

And here I am. I've been running through the contents of that conversation for three days now. I've done nothing but sleep. No that's a lie, attempted to sleep (more like blankly stare at the wall). Bones kept my apartment, bought it as an investment, and thankfully let me return to it. The majority of my belongings were returned from storage. It seems she didn't have the heart to get rid of them. When I opened the door, it was as if I were stepping back into a place from a past life...

I haven't seen her since the day I returned. Directly after our "meeting," she told me she needed time; as much as it would take to adjust to my sudden reappearance. But time feels like the last thing I need. I understand the shock, but hasn't it torn me apart too? She's having my child for Christ's sake! Why can't we face this together? I wanted to respect her wishes of me not contacting her for a little while, but I had to try something…calling, texting, emailing, something. How could I not? That has gotten me nowhere. The silent treatement…

Angela reassured me, saying she would somehow help us iron this out. Nothing so far.

I'm sitting on my couch, hoping to drown my sorrows in alcohol. Clicking the remote, I flip through countless games but never settle on one. I am going to become a father, for the second time. Bones is having my baby.

What kills me is: I wasn't there for her at the beginning of her pregnancy. I wasn't there to hold her hand and kiss her when she had her first ultrasound. I wasn't there to hold her hair back when she experienced morning sickness. I couldn't run out in the middle of the night to satisfy the cravings. She was alone. Alone.

I want nothing more than to be with her. To exist with her. To build a life with her. What I wouldn't give to surround her in my arms, together in our bed, a union of two people. The ironic thing is, all of this feels like it would have been even more impossible if she hadn't thought I was dead. But how can I say that? Maybe it could have happened. Us.

Maybe our lives would have progressed differently if we both came back from Indonesia and Afghanistan and reevaluated our relationship. Maybe she would have, admitted things to herself… If she had learned to open up, maybe our time apart would have made her realize what was so plain to everyone else. The "what if's?" are driving me nuts.

I want to be there for her, for the child, my child, her child, our child. I love her.

Before all of these changes had taken place, when we were in our element, I remember one conversation that had disheartened me. It was a bleak kind of foreshadowing, a kind of prophecy foretelling us going our separate ways for a time. I close my eyes.

"What would you do if I no longer worked with the FBI?"

I nearly choke on my burger. "What?" I say sputtering.

"Let's say, hypothetically of course, that my work required me to leave Washington D.C…. permanently"-

"Bones what are you talking about? Are you planning on quitting your job or something? Being transferred?"

"No, nothing of the sort. I just want to know how you would react."

"Is this some kind of warped experiment or something?"

"Booth I am just attempting to gage the strength of our partnership. What such a question really means…"- She seems to be having a difficult time breaking this down for me…into the vernacular anyway. "This is a psychologically based"-

"Experiment? I think you know I don't like being a 'subject.' Number one, stop spending extra time with Sweets, number two, we don't need to worry about the answer to such a question because neither one of us is going anywhere. You know we are working at our highest symbiotic potential, our comradery yields very positive results, yadda yadda"-

"I didn't mean to put you on the defensive Booth"-

"Defensive? Whoa! Hey- I'm not being defensive. I just, I don't like to think about our partnership dissolving."

"Why not?"

"Why?"

"It's bound to happen some"-

" Well do you like thinking about it Bones? I mean, we're a great team you and me."

"We are."

"We collaborate very well."

"We do." She seems to have swallowed my pitiful answers of denial. She wants me to say more…about us. It doesn't seem like her. Why can't I? Fear of rejection. Fear of…losing what we have. I take her void of silence as the end of that subject. I take a sip of my coke. She hasn't touched her salad…but reaches over to "borrow" one of my fries, a lighthearted twinkle in her eye. Through the munching she continues.

"What would you do if I died?" This time I literally choke.

"Wh, wha? What kind of a sick and twisted question is that? And how can you ask that so nonchalantly?"

"Would it mean something to you?" Her face is serious, eyes boring into mine.

"Of course it would. We're very good friends Bones, obviously I don't like talking about such possibilities because they make me feel upset."

"Possibilities? Booth it is inevitable that both of us are going to die one day, we've discussed this"-

"Obviously I know that, but do we need to dwell on things like that right now?"

"Would you come and talk to me?"

"Bones stop…I don't want to talk about this"-

"I made you a promise."

"Okay fine. Yes I would. But let's talk about something happy okay? How is your new book coming?"

"Fine, I've actually made an immense amount of progress, I am ahead of schedule. My publisher-"

"Wonderful! See this is happy…regular talk, no more of the doom and gloom okay?" I smile. She smiles back.

"Sorry Booth, I didn't mean to disturb you. It's just, what we deal with in our line of work, you can't blame me for wondering about such things. I'm only trying to connect with you, you know"- I feel guilty because she was innocently asking. I have to say something.

"Bones just know that our partnership means a lot to me and"- In that moment a harsh ringing comes from her pocket and she pulls out her blackberry.

"Brennan?" She answers in a tone that is controlled and very professional. She begins nodding her head in an eager manner.

"I'm sorry Booth, but I'm going to have to cut lunch short. Hodgins just unnerved ground breaking evidence. I'll call you once we have more of a lead and possibly this afternoon we can question Mr. Grey? I have a "gut feeling," we'll learn a lot from him…well I might once I examine the new findings-logic, fact, truth, instincts, all helping us out on this one." She winks and rushes out the door, tendrils of hair and trench coat flying after her.

I whisper under my breath.

"And if you died…I would be…heartbroken."

So many times. So many times I've been close to telling her how I feel. What she means to me. The one time I exposed only half of what is in my heart, everything felt hopeless. Even so, how can I give up now? I feel like I have had some sense knocked into me and can't believe I've been wasting my time wallowing in self loathing, staring into the abyss (feeling sorry for myself). I should take some action. I should be at her door, demanding to see her and not taking 'no' for an answer. I can't stand being away anymore.

Running to my kitchen counter and grabbing my keys, I rush to my door. In mid stride I hear a forceful knock on it. I pause, continue to walk towards the door, insert the key into the lock and twist it.

Who knows what the rest of the night holds?

Xoxo!