"I've got something for you, Lace," Rico said as they finished their lunch the next afternoon. Lacey looked at him as she handed the waiter her card to pay for her meal, suddenly feeling wary. Something in his tone immediately alerted her that he was nervous about whatever he needed to give her, and Lacey knew that the only reason he would be nervous was because of Danny.
She sighed to herself as he handed her the envelope, thrown off slightly by the thickness of it. She didn't open it immediately, instead she tucked it away into her bag for later. Finally the waiter returned with their receipts and she signed before standing from the table.
"Thanks for another lovely lunch Rico," she said as she gathered her things to leave. "And thank you for being such a good friend to me all this time – I know you didn't have to."
"No thanks required Lacey - I'm happy to do it. I care about you… he cares about you," Rico said to her.
"I know," she said. "I still care about him, too," she added wistfully before hugging him and turning to go.
"Next week?" Rico called after her.
"Same time, same place," she said over her shoulder, giving him a small smile before walking out the door.
Later that evening Lacey still hadn't managed to talk herself into opening Danny's letter. She'd gone through the motions in all of her afternoon classes, distracted and distant, before finally making her way home at the end of the day. Her bag felt so much heavier with the knowledge that the letter was inside of it, and she couldn't wait to get home.
She poured herself a glass of pomegranate wine, settling herself onto her couch and placing the sealed envelope on the coffee table in front of her. She eyed it warily, wondering what it contained. She hadn't seen or heard from Danny in over 18 months and she wondered what made him reach out to her now. What changed?
Lacey thought briefly over the direction her own life had taken over the last year and a half. At first she'd been an emotional wreck after Danny left, spending many more days crying and raging, wondering when and why it all fell apart. She took responsibility for the role she played in the dysfunction, and she'd held out hope that they could eventually work things out. Then Rico had started coming around to check on her. He never really spoke much about Danny, preferring to keep the focus on Lacey and how she was doing unless she specifically asked. It took almost two months for her to finally get up the courage to ask Rico about Danny. She remembered the way Rico had looked at her sadly as he told her that Danny and Jo were living together now and raising their baby – Grayson, she thought idly. She remembered thinking that was such a beautiful name for a little boy, and she wondered if he had inherited his father's eyes or hair, wondered what their children might have looked like if she and Danny had been given the opportunity to have them. She imagined a pretty little girl and boy with butterscotch colored skin and thick, wavy black hair. Their daughter would have his nose, and their son would have her smile. Her heart broke a little more as she realized that she missed them already, even if the only place they'd ever existed was in her mind.
Lacey never asked Rico about Danny again. When he'd tried to broach the subject with her a few months after that, she'd cut him off before he even got started, telling him that she didn't want to talk about Danny anymore, that she just wanted to move on with her life. Rico had respected that, and he'd never brought Danny up again to her until today.
She set down her glass and picked up the letter, looking at the creamy thick paper of the envelope. She ran her hands over the messy script on the front – her name scrawled in charcoal pencil as if he'd done it in a hurry. She wondered if he'd been working on something else when he wrote the letter to her, or if he'd had to complete it quickly before Jo came back home. Lacey had come a long way since the breakup. She was no longer the insecure and frightened girl she'd been with Danny – she'd learned to own her mind and body in a way that she hadn't known how to do before him. She too had been able to work through the baggage she'd held onto from her past relationships, offering forgiveness to others and figuring out how to forgive herself as well. Instead of sinking into depression the way she had when she ended things with Archie, Lacey sought support from her friends and family as a way to avoid losing herself again. She spent time mending fences and growing her relationships with the people around her, learning and living her life. She'd continued her photography and had created some significant buzz on the local scene for her work. She enjoyed he creative freedom that Danny had unlocked within her as much or more than she enjoyed teaching at Columbia. When she'd graduated from the program a few months earlier, they'd offered her a permanent position in the psychology department, but Lacey had yet to decide whether or not she wanted to accept it. She knew it was an amazing opportunity, but the artistic side of her wanted to see the world, chronicling her travels through her photographs. Her lease was up on the apartment next month and she'd decided that she wouldn't be renewing it. She'd been saving her money for a trip around the world, and she was looking forward to seeing whatever else the world had in store for her. There wasn't anyone special in her life at this point, and, aside from her friends, she had nothing tying her to this place anymore. A year or so abroad would be the perfect opportunity to develop her talent and continue her journey toward balance and freedom for her life.
Turning her attention back to the letter in her hand, Lacey finally decided to just go for it. She ripped open the envelope and, pulling out the contents, she began to read. All of the feelings and emotions she'd been holding back for so long came pouring out as she read through Danny's words to her. She felt heartbroken when she read about how he'd felt when Rubin died, and when he finally confessed to her the real reason he'd taken Tara's life. She was horrified when she he told her about his toxic relationship with Jo, and was relieved to hear that they'd both managed to get out relatively unscathed. She was glad to see that he'd finally sought help for dealing with his issues, and could tell from the overall tone that he'd really grown as a person since she'd last seen or spoken to him. Her heart was warmed by his closing words to her, but she didn't know how she felt about his last statement.
"The studio door is open for you, whenever you're ready to come home – All my love, Danny."
She read and re-read those words over and over again, repeating them to herself in her mind. He still loved her, he still wanted to make things work between them. Part of her was elated at knowing this, but another part was hesitant. Was he still with Jo? Was he even the same person anymore? Would they still want each other the way they were now? She knew from his letter that he'd changed a great deal over the last 18 months, but she'd changed, too. She wondered how he would feel about her now, knowing that she wasn't the same girl he'd fallen in love with two years ago.
She agonized over this through the night, until she finally fell into a fitful sleep. When she woke the next morning, she made a decision (although, if she were being honest with herself, she knew there'd never been any other option anyway). She would go and see him. She got up out of bed, getting dressed and fixing her hair, trying to calm her nerves. She dressed casually, wanting to look great for him but with the illusion that she hadn't intentionally tried to look that way. She chose a long, floaty skirt and a fitted white camisole. The gauzey bohemian feel of the skirt's fabric allowed her to feel both comfortable and chic and the asymmetrical hemline showed just enough leg without being overly sexy. She allowed her hair, which by this time had grown well past her tiny waistline, to fall freely down her back in a cascade of little ringlets. She'd briefly considered straightening it before she went to see him, but decided against it because it would take too much time. "Besides," she reasoned with herself, "he's always liked my hair curly." Giving herself one final look in the mirror, Lacey headed out the door and toward the subway.
Lacey stepped off the subway and onto Danny's block, mentally preparing herself for seeing him. She stopped at a small corner café to gather herself before continuing toward his studio. The minute she walked into the restaurant though, she immediately regretted it. Danny was sitting at a small table in the corner, his back to her, bouncing one of the cutest little boys she'd ever seen up and down on his knee. The toddler squealed with joy as Danny lifted him up above his head, bringing him down quickly for a kiss. Jo was sitting at the table with the two of them, smiling adoringly at either Danny or the child – Lacey couldn't tell which. They looked like a perfect family and Lacey felt her insides grow cold as she watched Jo run her hands through her hair before pulling it back. On Jo's left hand Lacey saw the unmistakable glint of a diamond, and suddenly all of her resolve vanished. "Is this really happening?" she thought to herself, reeling. The letter, the honesty, all the things he'd said to her... had he really be engaged to Jo the whole time?
Jo looked up, alerting Danny to Lacey's presence just in time to watch her run out of the door and down the sidewalk. He got up immediately, handing off baby Grayson to his mother before starting after her. Danny ran out of the shop as quickly as possible, but it was no use – Lacey was gone again.
Walking back to the table slowly, Danny tried to wrap his mind around what had just happened. Had he really seen her? Had she really even been there? Why had she come, and (more importantly) why had she run away so quickly? His stomach dropped as he realized what must have happened, how his breakfast with Jo must have looked to Lacey when she walked in. He wondered how long she'd been there – obviously not long enough.
"What's wrong with Danny?" Tyler (Jo's fiancé) asked as he returned from the bathroom, sliding into the booth beside her and taking Grayson from her hands. Jo quietly explained what'd happened as Danny stared dejectedly out of the window.
"Dude, you're telling me that Lacey – the Lacey – just walked out of here and you're just gonna let her go like that?" Tyler asked incredulously, looking at his friend.
"She ran away," Danny said despondently, "I guess she changed her mind."
"Well then go change it for her again! She obviously wanted to see you if she was here. She hasn't wandered into this side of town for almost two years, Danny – she was here for you. Something you said made her come."
"I don't even know how to begin, Ty," Danny said, "I don't know where she went or where her head is."
"So go to her damn apartment and get her! If she isn't there, wait for her. Tell her the truth and bring her back. I understand it's a delicate situation give the history between you two, but if you want her you'd better go get her. You aren't going to get another chance." Something in Tyler's words struck a chord deep within Danny. He excused himself from the table, and headed toward the subway – he was going to get her back if it was the last thing he did.