Thanks for all your wonderful reviews. I know what I did was evil but it was sooo much fun for once being on the giving instead of the receiving end. Now this chapter might be way to soppy for some of you but hey, it's my story and I like it this way. And who says the boys can't be emotional once in a while? Hugs, Vonnie

Standard Disclaimer applies!

And this was when it hit him and he closed his eyes and a scream of pure desperation escaped him, "Nooooooooo...!"

The scream echoed through the room as Sam sat up straight in the bed just to fall back into the pillows, all adrenaline fading from his body. His eyes closed but he didn't sink into the darkness he hoped for. The one that would take his unbearable pain away. Pain which wasn't physical yet was beyond anything he ever experienced before.

This time Dean was dead, not just dependent on a ventilator and in doctor's opinions beyond saving like a few month ago. No, this time it was real, he was gone and with him was a part of Sam. The one part that gave him the will to go on. He was left behind broken beyond repair and nothing held him in this life anymore.

He became aware of his heart starting to race at the same time as his breathing became more and more gasping. For some reason it didn't matter, maybe because he already lead go of this life. His body was more of a shell now and there seemed very connection to it any more. Monitor alarms were going off all around him but he heard them like from a far distance. He didn't belong here any longer, he needed to go home to be with his family and Jessica again. A smile brightened his face as he could hear his brother's voice calling for him.

"Sammy!"

He opened his eyes and could actually see Dean. He was sitting right in front of him, waiting for him. Expecting a to see a smile on his brother's face, he instead read only distress in it and saw tears standing in his eyes. A terrible thought surged through him, 'he must think I don't want to be with him and dad'. No, this couldn't happen, he needed to know that he was on his way that he was letting go. He tried to reach out for him but found he didn't have the strength.

The words he wanted to shout to him were less than a whisper, "C..om..in..g t..o y..o..u, t..e..ll d..a..d!"

His eyes slid shut again and peaceful warmth started to surround him. It was an awesome feeling like nothing nothing he ever perceived before, at least until he was torn it by away by someone pulling him into his arms. Panicked voices were surrounded him but the only thing he heard was sobbing as tears wet his cheeks and ran down his face. Tears that weren't his but belonged to whoever held him.

"Sammy, don't do this, I'm right here!" There was another sob and the arms holding him wrapped around him even tighter.

SN SN SN SN SN

"Dean..."

If the elder Winchester wouldn't have sat so closely to his brother, he wouldn't have heard the hoarse whisper from the younger man's lips. After hoping for a real response for so long, it almost came as a surprise. He felt tears stinging his eyes as he saw Sam's hazel orbs open. As they closed for a moment he took the opportunity to secretly wipe over his face, after all, he had a reputation to hold up.

"Hey sleeping beauty, about time you woke up. Been waiting for quite a while for you."

He smirked as he felt Sam's hand squeeze his. For a split second he looked at Dr. Connell and received a smile that told him, she understood his need to spend a moment with his brother before she would do her assessment, then his attention was back on his sibling. He wanted to hear how he felt, yet the weakness was very clearly written on his face, so instead he settled for bringing him up on the events of the last few days.

Dean was relieved to have his brother awake while he talked. He could tell it was more his voice then the words that kept his attention but he didn't care. All that mattered was that Sam was finally getting better. He realized they would have a long way to go before things were back to normal, if you could call anything in their life normal. So it didn't surprise him when Sam's eyes started to droop and finally they slid closed.

Still not ready to abandon his place, he just held on to the younger man's hand, listening to his breathing as he slept. After a few minutes he noted restlessness intruding into Sam's sleep. His head started to turn back and forth and he could see the movement behind the closed lids. Being used to he other's nightmares he was tempted to wake him but decided to rather watch and interfere only if the dream got out of hand.

Without prior warning there was a bloodcurdling "Nooooooo...!" escaping Sam's lips that revieberated in the room, before he sat up just to fall back into the pillows immediately. For just a moment nothing else happened and Dean thought the nightmare was over, then Sam started to gasp for breath and the monitor alarm went off, indicating a heartbeat of 195.

Tears were stinging his eyes once again and the need for denial entered his mind. He only had to say it often enough, 'This was not happening'. Yet it lasted only for a moment before reality caught up with him.

"Sammy!"

He felt Dr. Connell trying to pull him away, heard her and Bobby's voices talking to him but he wasn't going to leave his baby brother. Not now when a smile appeared on the other's face and his eyes opened again. For just an instant he thought Sam was going to reach for him when he more read his lips than heard the words coming from them.

"C..om..in..g t..o y..o..u, t..e..ll, t..ell d..a..d!"

The words struck like lightning as he finally understood what was happening and why. His baby brother was dying because he thought Dean was already dead. The panic around him was meaningless, the attempt of both Dr. Connell and Bobby to get him away of no consequence, because it was clear now, they couldn't save Sammy. Only he could!

Desperate he looked at him, seeing only the little boy that was entrusted to him by their dad when he himself was just a small child. The one he had raised and cared for ever since. No longer able to control his emotions he sobbed as he embraced the younger man his tears falling on the other's face.

"Sammy, don't do this, I'm right here!"

He wrapped his arms even tighter around him, his cheek touching Sam's as he continued to cry and pray for salvation from this nightmare.

Lost in the fear of loosing the only person worth living for, he almost didn't feel the slight movement. Slightly lifting his head away from his brother, he saw the hazel eyes stare at him in confusion.

"Dean?"

There was utter disbelieve in the one word and for a moment there was no answer and then a hint smile appeared on the elder brother's face.

"Yeah, it's me, in the flesh!"

The confusion slowly changed to trust and relief and then Dean found himself holding a uncontrollably weeping Sam. Holding on to him, he stroked his hair, mumbling soothing words to him. For once not caring about chick flick moments or tough images to hold up.

After a few minutes the younger Winchester finally settled down, mostly because the adrenaline flow was starting to slow and exhaustion caught up with him. Dean slowly laid him back onto the pillow but found that he couldn't break the embrace. Sam wouldn't let him.

"I thought you were dead!"

"Sammy, would I ever do that to you? I'm not going to leave you!"

"Promise?"

"Promise!"

Only then Sam let go of his brother, knowing Dean would never break a promise. Still, his hand continued to hold on, even long after he went to sleep again.

The elder brother quietly watched over the younger's sleep, not noticing the glances exchanged by the doctor and the older hunter. He would have been even more surprised by their thoughts as Dr. Connell contemplated the unbelievable event she just witnessed, unsure what to make of it. At the same time Bobby looked almost lovingly at the two young men. He had seen so much evil in his life that believing in something good sometimes felt almost impossible but these two taught him step by step how to again.

TBC

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