Thank you for the reviews, my two anonymous readers, Duckies, daxy, and Wolfsong98 (FanFiction)

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I do not own or claim to own CSI: Miami characters. This is fanmade and I make absolutely no profit off of this. I do this for my own amusement.

***

Chapter Fourteen: Nightmares

Horatio stroked Rick's hair lovingly; the other man had fallen asleep on his chest a few hours ago, Stetler's arm draped over his stomach. Horatio smiled to himself, I could get used to sleeping in Rick's embrace. Carefully, the redhead slipped out of Rick's loving hold, not wanting to wake him as he crawled out of the bed.

Horatio had seen the knife when he reached into Rick's drawer earlier that night. He didn't bring it up, he knew what it was for. And as much as he despised Mac for what he did, he didn't want Rick to do anything too rash.

Desperately wanting it out of the bedroom, Horatio removed the knife and pulled on his robe.

As quietly as he could, the redhead made his way downstairs, making sure to skip over the one step that creaks. The moonlight bathed the house in a mysterious blue glow, just bright enough for Horatio to see. His feet drifted across the cold tiles of his kitchen, making his way to the counter and replacing the blade.

His mind a little more at ease, Horatio let out the breath he didn't even know he was holding.

"A knife, huh?" Detective Taylor whispered from behind him, "Where did you let him cut you?" The lieutenant spun around, looking into Mac's silhouette. "I can't let him hurt you this way, Horatio".

"He wasn't hurting me, Mac," the redhead hissed, "He brought the knife upstairs to protect himself from you".

***

Rick woke up with a start, pulling himself out of a nightmare. It was a reoccurring horror that played out in his unconscious mind ever since the rape.

He was back in the mountains, the other man behind him. The memories of sheer terror as Mac forced himself upon Rick, slashing at his skin with a jackknife. Horatio would open the door to Rick's prison.

"Don't worry, Rick," He would whisper from the doorway, "I love you anyway".

"Please Horatio," Rick would sob, "make him stop".

Without another word Horatio would turn and walk off, leaving the two. Rick would cry out helplessly for his lover until Mac finally tries to slit his throat. That was when he always woke up.

He never told Horatio about the dream, but he figured he probably should one day.

Rick felt around in the bed for his lover, only to find himself to be alone. He sat up, looking for a light seeping out from under the door of the master bath. There wasn't one. Turning on the light on the bedside table, Rick opened the drawer to see that the knife was gone. There was no doubt in his mind that Horatio saw it last night. There was also no doubt in Rick's mind that the knife's presence bothered his lover.

He sat in thought for a moment or two before he decided to go find Horatio, despite him being unarmed. Pulling on his robe, he opened the bedroom door and stepped out into the hallway.

***

"He doesn't need protection from me, Horatio," Mac whispered, following the other man into the living room, "You need protection from him".

"I love him," Horatio growled, annoyed at Mac's ignorance.

"That doesn't mean he's good for you".

***

Rick slowly approached the railing, hearing voices from the room below him. He watched in silence was Mac and Horatio moved through the living room. His eyes widened as Mac took Horatio by the shoulders and backed him into the wall.

"I know you want me, Horatio," Rick heard Mac say softly, "And I've wanted you".

Rick felt the jealousy in his blood begin to boil once again, as it did earlier with Natalia… but this was worse than he possibly thought it could. His eyes turned fierce and his nails, like talons, dug into the railing. A tightness that started in his chest swarmed throughout his entire body like locusts over a field. He felt like the air around him was on fire, and that he could lift the two men with the sheer will of his mind. But at the same time he was terribly afraid of what will happen, both if he broke the moment and if he didn't.

"I did want you," Horatio admitted, "but that was a long time ago".

Rick blinked furiously, an attempt to chase Horatio's words from his mind and to hold back tears. Horatio had told him once that he had been attracted to a number of men in the past; he listed Mac as one of them. That was, of course, before the incident. But no matter what Mac did, that didn't change the fact that Horatio did at one time feel something for him.

"Everyone you have loved as been taken away from you or has let you down, how will Rick hurt you?"

"Rick wouldn't hurt me"

"The scratches on your chest tell a different story," Mac pointed out, opening Horatio's robe to expose his chest and get a full frontal view of him.

Rick's jaw dropped as Mac ran his hand over the redhead's chest. At times Rick could get a little too rough with Horatio in bed, he knew that. If Horatio didn't admit that he enjoyed getting scratched at, hit, and having his hair pulled during sex, Rick would have stopped. But such was not the case.

Horatio's body rested against the wall, he looked quietly up into the detective's steel eyes, "Stop, Mac".

"Let me kiss you again".

'Again'?

The word echoed in Rick's mind. The mind games that Mac unknowingly played on Rick often felt worse than the actual rape. That he could escape from, he did escape from. But his mind held him in complete torment from day to day. And now this…

Mac cupped Horatio's face in one hand, the other slipping under his robe and around his bare waist. Horatio let their bodies be drawn together, lost in Mac's eyes. His lips parted slightly as his jaw went slack, watching his soul battle his inner daemons. He was torn more than he knew he ought to be, but torn none the less.

Silently, Rick let his body fall to the floor. He leaned against the wall and grasped onto the railing's bars. He felt the color drain from his face and the tears well up behind his eyes. His breath was caught in his throat as he watched in horror.

Did you honestly believe that Horatio wouldn't want someone better than you? Rick's mind whispered to him. You should have known better. I told you that you weren't good enough. If you could have ever changed from the selfish bastard you are then things may have been different. But you didn't, so they aren't. You made him break your heart, Rick. You left him no choice.

Horatio shyly turned his face away, not wanting to believe the things he was feeling. Mac caught his chin and locked a gaze with him. He leaned down half way to Horatio, his lips inviting the other man to complete the deed once more.

"No…no," Rick whispered helplessly to himself, "Horatio, please don't. I love you".

He doesn't care. Nobody ever did.

Horatio closed his eyes and drew in a shaky breath

Some people just aren't meant to be loved. I always knew you were one of them.

"That's not true," Rick silently retorted to his own mind, "It can't be".

But you know it is.

Looking up into Mac's half-lidded eyes, Horatio moistened his lips.

"Oh God, please don't let this happen," Rick gasped, a tear rolling down his cheek.

Go ahead and cry for yourself. Nobody else is going to cry for you. Cry and weep and moan over your lost love, the love you never really had.

The redhead began to slowly and nervously lean in towards Mac.

Horatio hates you.

"Horatio loves me," Rick said quietly, although he felt completely helpless.

He wishes he never met you.

"No," Horatio said decisively as he broke away from Mac, closing his robe.

Rick breathed again, but still felt a little weary. He stood up and backed into the shadows of the hallway as Horatio started across the room and back upstairs.

"We could have had something together," Mac called after Horatio, who was making his way to the stairs.

"You're right," the redhead nodded, "we could have".

"But Rick took that from us," Detective Taylor growled, the frustration audible in his voice.

"No, Mac" Horatio sighed, turning away, "you did that".

Lieutenant Caine ascended the stairs, leaving the desires of an old life behind him. He would admit, he never found moving on in this manner to be at all easy. More often than not he would make definite closure if it wasn't presented to him. This end felt a little anticlimactic, but he was already well into a new life with Rick. In all honesty, that was all he needed.

He looked down the hallway and into Rick's figure, leaning against the wall. Horatio knew at that moment that he had heard and seen everything.

"Rick," Horatio gasped, running to his side, "Rick, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Rick lied turning his face away.

Horatio led them into his bedroom, sitting Rick down next to him on the bed. The moon was full and shone brighter into their room than any place downstairs. The silver teardrops were visible on Rick's cheeks. The redhead pulled him into an embrace.

"There's nothing I can say to fully apologize for what you have just seen," Horatio whispered into Rick's shoulder, "but I wish there was".

"It's okay, Horatio".

"No it isn't," Lieutenant Caine whispered as he wiped one of Rick's tears away, "You deserve better than that".

"I do?"

"Of course you do… Rick… you're the best thing that's ever happened to me," he whispered with a soft smile. Horatio brushed his lips over Rick's in an innocent kiss. "I love you, Rick. With all my heart".