Hi guys, tried to not make you wait too long this time. Thanks for the feedback. Especially the guest that reviewed today,it was really nice and I'm not gonna lie, it's a big reason why you now have a new thanks for motivating me.

It's personal but you need to know that I do not know when I will update again , I just learned that my mom had cancer and the next months are going to be hard. So, I can't promise you anything yet.

Thanks again to Ellie for correcting me (and more really) this particularly chapter wasn't really well written english speaking I'm sorry, you did great 3.

A week later , his nightmares finally seem to fade away. Surely Kate was the biggest reason as to why. Ever since that night when she had open up a little bit more to him, he was in awe of her. He just kept learning new things about her everyday and the Kate he knew now was far more extraordinary than he ever thought she was. She was still spending her nights and days at his loft but he couldn't help himself to wonder something. She did say they could talk about anything, right? He knew his thought was ridiculous and he must look like he needed reassurance but asking couldn't hurt. And he needed to know before she went back to work.

She was still asleep, using his arm like a pillow which didn't look really comfortable but he didn't dare to move an inch when he looked at her peaceful face framed by light, soft curls. Who'd have thought super badass Detective Beckett looked like an innocent little girl when asleep ? If you asked him, that aspect would definitely be the thing he loved the most about her. He had always had known her to be that strong cop, even though he had see her break one or two times, she never had show him any kind of weakness and he never saw her like someone affectionate. He had it all wrong. But hey he wasn't going to complain, a cuddle was always good to have.

When it was evident he wasn't going to be able to fall asleep, he ever so slowly slid his arms from her and, putting his bathrobe on, he headed over the kitchen. If he couldn't get to sleep, he could always make breakfast so it would be ready just in time before Alexis left for school.

It was when he just finished the scrambled eggs and put the bacon in the pan that he heard Alexis descending the stairs. He raised his head , smiling at her already-ready-for-school-daughter.

"Morning daughter. " He greeted her with his spatula.

"Morning father." He heard her answer with the same tone. "Can you just make me some toast, gotta be at school earlier today." She sat in front of her dad, watching him put himself to work.

She looked at her dad, frowning. "I'll take an orange in my bag."

He looked at her like she was crazy and couldn't stop his voice to go a little too high. "An orange? Is this supposed to ease my mind, now?"

She shook her head with a knowing smile,eating her toast. He did seem to be really good today. Even if she still wasn't thrilled about him being in relationship with the Detective Beckett , she could say she was pretty good for him. She raised up her seat and went to kiss his cheek.

"Don't worry, I'll survive."

He smiled at her , wrapping his arms arround her, thinking.

"Dad... I love you but I really need to go now."

She heard him hum and forced herself out of his embrace, waving a hand in front of his eyes.

"Hello, Earth to dad ?"

He looked back at her with a serious face. "Yeah, sorry but just before you leave : What would you say to spending a day with Kate?"

Alexis seemed a bit taken by surprise as she frowned at her dad, tilting her head to one side."Why would I spend a day with Detective Beckett?"

"You know you can call her Kate, don't you? And I- I mean, I'm sure doing girl stuff ,you two could rebound together, you know. You... could try to know her better."

He heard her sigh and he slighty grimaced, knowing it was a sensitive topic. But he really wished his two girls could at least look at each other.

"I can't promise you anything dad, but... I suppose we could try. We'll see, but dad, I'm gonna be late."

She ran at the door and closed it behind her before he even had time to say anything.

His mouth opened and close, stopping himself from saying anything.

Growning when the light hit her eyes she rolled ,hiding her face in the pillow, feeling Castle's side of the bed empty. She raised her head, eyes partially open and when she smelled something she recognized like coffee, she smiled, getting up and out of the bed. Him being awake before her was unusual and she kinda liked to wake up to the smell of coffee.

She circled her arms behind him ,pressing her cheek against his shoulders feeling him relaxed, she smiled closing her eyes.

He smiled feeling her warmth against his back, sighing. "Morning, Kate." He said turning to her so he could face her.

"I smelled coffee."

Seeing that little morning-smile he loved so much he reached up to tuck a wild strand of hair back behind her ear. Leaning slowly as he felt one of her hand touch his cheek and the other one flat against his chest ,he just softly brushed her lips, feeling her already parting for him. Smiling he gave her what she wanted , pouring in the kiss everything he could, only stopping when they needed air.

She let him press his forehead against hers and sighed. Still feeling overwhelmed.

"So, hungry, I hope?" She heard him say as he went to take a plate to serve her.

"Starved."

For a moment neither of them said anything until Castle decided to fill the silence.

"Soo, I talked to Alexis about the two of you having a girl day."

That made her gaze raise to his. "And?"

"Annnd she said she would think about it."

"That's a no."

Castle shook his head, taking her hand in his accross the island. "No it's not. She will say yes, she doesn't have anything to lose."

Shrugging Kate made a face, scrunching her nose and he couldn't help but laugh.

"What now?!" Kate snapped as he looked at lot less amused.

"I- you- It's just, you look cute when you scrunch your nose like that..." He tried sounding a bit hesitant.

Kate's gaze softened and he swore he saw her blush but didn't miss the way her eyes rolled. Sooo Kate-ish

When it was just the two of them resting watching some idiot soap on tv he tilted his head toward her. Time to face the music.

"Kaate?"

Raising a eyebrow, Kate looked at him, humming in answer.

He swallowed a little bit harder and sat upright. "Would you... Would you be here if I hadn't been shot?"

Noticing the way she frowned, looking at the floor and biting her lip, he already knew it hadn't been a good idea to start this.

She looked up at him with a an expression he couldn't quite read. "I- I don't know- Why, Why do you ask?"

"Ah. Well, just… wondering." He said acting like the conversation was closed and lay back.

But what he didn't know was that Kate wasn't done. He felt her gaze on him and he closed his eyes for a minute. Idiot

" Castle? Why are you asking me this?"

The serious tone she had didn't pass him and he sighed, turning to face her.

"It's stupid. It's just- I. If I hadn't been shot, would you be here ? I mean, would you be thinking about us being … this?" He motioned between the two of them.

She took both his hand in hers and made sure he looked her right in the eyes before talking, her voice strong.

"I loved you Castle. Even back then. I loved you. I fell in love with you a long time ago. I was just scared of even thinking about it. And yeah… I admit losing you may have pull the trigger. It just helped me to open my eyes on what I didn't want to. "

"But why?!" Castle asked incrediously.

"Because... Because it didn't make sense. You're like this world-famous, best-selling author, and I'm just this cop, and I was scared I would got hurt in the end, you know?"

He frowned , obviously not getting what she was saying.

She shook her head at him looking at the floor. "I run, Castle. That's who I am. When I'm scared, I run. And I can tell you I will run again. I was just trying to ignore what I felt for you hoping it just would go away with time. I guess I was an idiot to even think that."

She saw him smile at that and tried to smile as well. "I was going to accept your offer, go to the Hamptons with you, you know?"

Castle almost jumped off the couch, eyes wide. "Wh-How- You-." He saw her smile even more but he could see a glimpse of sadness at those memories.

"Yeah… That moment when I took you aside I was going to tell you it was okay, I would go with you. I really wanted to. And a lot of thing pushed me to do it that day. But-"

"But what?!"

"But Gina showed up." She said with a deep breath.

"Oh.. .Oh… OH." He still was looking at her with wide eyes and he just wanted to hit himself, hard.

"But Kate weren't you with Demming ?"

Kate smiled, looking at him and shaking her head. "I broke up with him that same day. So I could go with you without feeling guilty. He was a nice guy, but he wasn't the one I needed."

Castle nearly choked and thought he was really going to faint. "God I- I'm so sorry Kate."

"Yeah, well, long gone now, right?"

She saw him shake his head. "No. I mean, yes. But if only I'd known. We'd have little castle babies everywhere in here."

It was Kate's turn to choke.

"Woah there, slow down cowboy."

"Oops, sorry." He chuckled softly. "I didn't know. I really was sure you thought I was an ass."

"Oh, I did think you were an ass." She answered listlessly.

Castle stared at her before she could see understanding passed across his face. "I understand now why you were acting so off when we saw each other again!"

"Well! You surprised me at my crime scene! Two of my crime scenes!" She tried to say in defence.

"Yeah well, simple coincidences." He frowned again, remembering what she had said to him.

"Castle! Go home! Go back to your Hamptons, your ex-wife, your book parties! Okay? I've got work to do."

It hit him hard and in a moment he had her in his arms. "I'm so sorry Kate. I never meant to hurt you"

"I know you didn't Castle, and it's fine now. We're fine." She said, stroking a hand accross his cheek.

"Yeah? " She heard him ask with hope.

"Yeah."

Hope you liked it, reviews can't hurt. :)