WOW, THIS IS TURNING OUT WAY LONGER THAN I EXPECTED. THAT'S REALLY DUE TO YOU GUYS AND YOUR AWESOME SUPPORT. THANK YOU, HONESTLY. YOU'VE ALL BEEN THERE FOR ME THROUGH CONCUSSIONS AND ALL. I WAS REREADING SOME OF THE EARLIER CHAPTERS, BACK WHEN I HAD MY CONCUSSION, AND I REALIZED HOW MANY MISTAKES WERE IN THERE DUE TO MY CONCUSSION. I KNOW THAT USUALLY THERE'S REPEATED WORDS AND ADDED LETTERS AND STUFF DESPITE MY BEST ATTEMPTS AT EDITTING (I JUST SUCK AT IT) BUT THERE WERE WAY MORE IN THE CHAPTERS I WROTE WHERE I COULDN'T THINK. IDK, FOR SOME REASON I FIND IT FUNNY. OH WELL, IT'S 10:30 PM WHERE I AM WRITING IT NOW (AT HOME), SO THAT'S PROBABLY WHY CAUSE I'M TIRED AND EVERYTHING SEEMS FUNNY. ALSO, SORRY IT'S TAKEN SO LONG TO GET THIS UP. I'VE HAD A TON OF SCHOOL WORK. SORRY FOR SUCH A LONG A/N.
The alarm beeped and Emma groaned. She rolled over and turned it off, then turned her attention to Henry, who was sleeping like a log. She really did feel bad about waking him up, but they both had somewhere to be.
"Henry." She whispered, poking him in the shoulder
"What!?" Surprisingly, he shot up, almost taking Emma out with him.
"It's time for school." She replied, dumbfounded. "Since when do you…?" She trailed off, realizing that with PTSD usually came hypervigilance.
"Since when do I what?"
"Never mind." She shook her head, forcing a smile. "Let's just get you ready. You wanna change first while I make breakfast?"
"By breakfast do you mean poptarts?" He remarked with a smirk.
"Maybe." She retorted, raising one eyebrow in challenge.
"Poptarts are good." Henry said with a nod, as if confirming it for himself.
"They are." She agreed with a smile. "I'll have a package ready for you for when you're done getting dressed."
"Okay." He said, his tone dropping. Just like that, he was back to being glum.
With Emma off to the station and Henry on the bus to school (unless he skipped it, but Emma watched him get on, so he'd have to be even more sneaky than they'd originally thought), Snow and Charming settled down on the sofa. She curled herself on his side, and he draped an arm around her shoulders.
"What do you say? Should we get over to Archie before Emma realizes the reason I'm not there is not to tie up a few loose ends around the house?" David asked.
"Well, it's not exactly a lie…" She smiled.
"You know our daughter." He murmured as he nibbled at her earlobe. "It won't be long until she puts two and two together."
"We should get going then." She said. A mildly disappointed David followed her off the couch. After the two got dressed and brushed their teeth, they headed out to the car. Snow pulled her coat tighter against the cold winter air.
The drive to Archie's office was quick. Mary Margaret had called on the way over to give him a heads up that they'd be stopping by, and he was more than glad. He greeted them with a warm smile when he opened his door.
"It's been too long, my friends." He said as he enveloped Snow in a warm hug. Then he grasped David's hand.
"I agree." David smiled. Archie motioned for them to follow him and take a seat on the couch. "We've all been a little busy with Neverland."
"We have." Archie nodded in agreement and used it as a springboard. "I assume that's what you want to talk to me about?"
"Yes." Snow replied. "We're worried about Emma and Henry."
"That's understandable." Instinctively, Archie took out his notepad and fished his pen out of his pocket. "Anything in particular, or…?" Snow threw a glance at David, who gave her a look, and both shrugged. It still amazed Archie how the two could have such intricate nonverbal conversations. When David spoke, Archie knew they had decided he'd be the one to take point.
"Emma's reverting back to her old self."
"It's not that we aren't going to love her unless she's accepting and open," Snow interjected, "but it can't be good for her, can it?"
"And we're just nervous, because if she closes herself off to where she was before she came to Storybrooke, how will she be able to get better if she runs from her problem?" David finished. Archie had patiently waited through the couple's rambling.
"You're right." Archie said quietly. "But I think it's different this time because she knows she has people who love her and will stand by her no matter what."
"She doesn't accept help easily, and we can't force her to." The brunette said. "She's not thinking about herself, only about Henry. I can understand that mentality as a mother, but it's not healthy, Archie. She's never had to take care of anyone but herself and now she has an entire town that needs her, and a son, and she's taking care of everyone except for herself. She's never had anyone take care of her and she doesn't know how to let anyone help her." Archie made a note of all of that.
"Did she ever talk about her care plan after she was stabbed?" For clarity, he added, "For the PTSD, I mean."
"No." David shook his head. "She doesn't talk about that stuff."
"Maybe you could ask her?" He suggested. "Ask her what helps when she's feeling stressed? It doesn't have to be so obvious that you're asking about the PTSD, but maybe it'll give you some idea."
"Oh, please." Snow rolled her eyes and gave Archie one of her 'looks'. "This is Emma we're talking about. I can't hint at anything without her knowing my intentions."
"True." Archie smiled a little. As he was about to suggest a different tactic, the brunette opened her mouth, as well. Archie motioned for her to go first.
"I was just going to say, it's not like we can just talk to her. Those walls of hers see to that." Pausing to consider his next words carefully, Archie spoke slowly:
"Perhaps this is just something Emma has to deal with by herself, on her own terms?"
"No." David said definitively, shaking his head with conviction. "She's dealt with everything on her own for her entire life, Archie. I refuse to stand by and watch her suffer when I can help."
"What do you think you can do?" Archie asked with quiet countenance despite his growing agitation. David, moreso than Snow, saw things as a simple question of black and white; nothing was ever grey to him, and that was impeding his ability to help his daughter. David, for his part, shifted in his seat and crossed his arms. Archie tread carefully. "It's just that, as you said, for her entire life, Emma hasn't had any support from anyone. This is all new to her and she hasn't had time for an adjustment period. It's been one disaster after the next. She hasn't had time to freak out and break down –I'm not talking about little moments here and there, but real ones where major progress would be made– thus not having time to get used to a support system. It's going to take a while."
"So what do you suggest we do, then." David snapped, then winced. He hadn't meant to do that. "I'm sorry." He immediately apologized. "It's so frustrating to not be able to help Emma and Henry."
"I understand completely." Archie smiled the same patient smile he'd sent to Emma earlier in the week when she had exploded at him. "I can't even imagine, to be honest." This seemed to placate David for the time being.
"No, really, what should we do?" Snow's worried gaze met Archie's calm one.
"Think about how Emma thinks for a second. In her mind, any sort of vulnerability or weakness will get her hurt –she obviously has her reasons for feeling that way. So give her time. Let her handle the little panic attacks and freak outs by herself. When a big one hits, she'll either ask for help or let you help. The fact that she's spoken and admitted to having had PTSD in the past is huge. You have to realize that."
"You're right." Snow sighed and glanced around the room. Her eyes fell on the clock. "We're so sorry, we didn't mean to take up so much time."
"Hey," Archie reached out and grasped Snow's hand in his own. "Anything for you guys."
"Thank you." Snow whispered, not trusting her voice.
"We'll try what you suggested." David stood up and shook their friend's hand.
"One last thing, before you leave." For once, Archie sounded unsure of himself. "Trust yourselves as her parents. I can tell you that she already trusts you, now it's time you do the same for yourselves." Those words made David's and Snow's hearts soar.
"How was school, Henry?" Snow asked as her grandson dropped his backpack down in the kitchen.
"Good." He shrugged, and it didn't sound like he meant it. "Not the same without you there."
"Well, what's Mr. Hans doing with you guys?"
"He doesn't let us do projects." Henry blurted immediately. "You let us have free time to read or draw, or whatever we wanted, but he doesn't. I miss it." Yet another variance from his daily routine, Snow thought. "I mean, I never worked with a group during projects, but I did like doing them."
"You do have your mother's high artistic ability."
"Mom can draw good?"
"Well." Snow automatically corrected. After a moment, she frowned. "You didn't know that?"
"No." Henry shook his head. "You did?"
"I did indeed." Snow eased herself down onto a stool, deciding the chicken that had been simmering could wait a few more minutes. "She never really talked to me about it or showed me them, but when she was unpacking her box of things, I caught a glimpse of a few pencil sketches. Plus, I see the doodles in her work notebook that's supposed to be just for work, but she gets distracted and bored during meetings." At that, Henry laughed a little. It was a sound Snow had once taken for granted, but never would again.
"For some reason, I don't see Mom being a good drawer."
"Some people just have a natural talent for it." The brunette shrugged.
"Yeah, but this is Mom we're talking about. She can barely keep herself from burning the house down while making toast." Now it was Snow's turn to laugh.
"Maybe your mom isn't the best at everything. After all, nobody can be good at everything."
"But her being good at drawing?" Henry made a face of disbelief. "She doesn't take time to do the simple things like actually enjoy her bearclaw, let alone take the time to draw." Snow finally realized why Henry seemed more bummed out than he did yesterday. She desperately wanted to start comforting him right away, but knew that he, like both his mothers, needed time to weigh the pros and cons of opening up –even if they'd talk about whatever was bothering them ten times out of ten. The boy took a deep breath, then the plunge. "I know things have never been easy for Mom, but… don't people normally let themselves have fun with their family? Or, like, she just doesn't seem happy. Not sad, but not happy either."
"Why don't you take a seat?" Snow said quietly. "I think we need some hot chocolate for this conversation." As she prepared Henry's version of liquid courage, she mulled over how to talk to her grandson about their current predicament. She didn't want to lie and insist Emma was fine (though the blonde would probably be perfectly okay with that option), because Henry reacted horribly to being lied to. But she also didn't want to tell him how not okay his mother was, because that would be Emma's decision. She pulled the mug out of the microwave after it beeped and added two hot cocoa packets.
"Two?" Henry raised an eyebrow.
"Why not." Snow shrugged and resumed the stool she had previously vacated. "Henry, your mom is… a complicated woman. It's hard for her to open herself up to even the idea that things could be okay and right for once. She's never had that, and she's scared that it'll go away once she lets herself like it."
"But it won't." Henry insisted with childlike stubbornness. "We're not gonna do what everyone else has done to her." It broke Snow's heart. No one that young should know how cruel the world could be.
The way his grandma looked at him, her eyes pained and almost pleading with him to understand the complexity of the situation , it reminded Henry of Emma's face when she told him she was going to leave Storybrooke right before he ate that apple turnover.
"She doesn't know that, Sweetheart. She's never had that." Snow blinked back tears.
"Well then." Henry said forcefully, setting his jaw determinedly and keeping tears of his own at bay. "We're just gonna have to show her that we're different." Clearly, the boy wasn't going to give up on this nor was he going to let it go, causing Snow to sigh inwardly. But, if she was being honest with herself, she was excited. Having Henry on board with her and David actively trying to break Emma's walls down might just be what they needed.
"What do you suggest, Sir Henry?"
"Operation Fruit Loops." Henry replied with a mischievous smile.
It couldn't be such a horrible idea, the brunette decided. It would keep Henry focused on something other than his horrible past year and if it got Emma to finally realize she had a family, then Snow was all for it.