Walk

Lizzie never made it a practice to avoid Gordo, especially now, when he needed her most. His therapy was going slow. Thanks to speech therapy, he was able to talk to her again, nearly as perfect as he used to, but his walking was still slow. The muscles atrophied so bad that he had to walk nearly every three to six hours for at least an hour. Even now, his therapist had to go through simple tasks to remind him that he could still do them.

His therapy was going so well that she felt it was okay to go back to work, but something didn't feel right about it. Dr. Miller had assured them he was okay to go home and be part of society. Two weeks had passed and he was doing marvelously. There was only one small problem. He forgot everything that happened. He could remember Lizzie talking to him, but the accident was all blanked to him. He couldn't remember why he was in the hospital and it was bothering Lizzie having to explain it every day. She very quietly watched out the window as Gordo spoke to her about living arrangements.

"David, are you sure moving in together before we're married is such a great idea? Look at what happened last time." She whispered kicking her feet back and forth on the chair she currently sat on. Her mossy green eyes followed Gordo's every move as he wrote in a journal about his progress. The doctor said it might help jog his memories, but so far there wasn't such luck. He couldn't remember what happened last time, and Lizzie wasn't sure if he ever would. When he met her eyes with a puzzled look, she frowned. "Never mind. It's not important."

Gordo looked at Lizzie with dark blue eyes and held out his hand to her. "Can I see Emma again?"

Lizzie nodded and reached into her pocket for her wallet. It was a wallet sized photograph of the sonogram. There wasn't even much to see, but he insisted on dwelling on it. "Do you think she'd still be alive if you hadn't had the accident?" She asked rather carelessly.

"Maybe, but…" He thought long and hard and nothing came to him. "I don't remember an accident."

"You're in the hospital, David," He traced the outlines on the photograph and frowned. "I know, but I don't remember why I'm here. Liz, I really don't know anything right now. It's all so foggy. I try to remember what you're talking about, but it's all a haze of darkness. I see bits and pieces, but I can't separate reality from fantasy."

She nodded and kissed his hand as he held the photograph close. "She would have been beautiful."

Lizzie nodded and looked out the window; listening to the world move around her while they sat still in silence for a long time. "Would you be able to draw her?"

He nodded and took the notebook from inside the drawer. "My mom asked me that a day or so ago. I've been working on this all week." He handed the notebook to Lizzie and folded his arms while she looked at the image inside.

"…that's what you saw?" Lizzie inquired quizzically.

"Mmhmm. Isn't she beautiful?" He laughed and pointed to the child's eyes. "Your eyes…but my color." He moved his hand to her hair next. "Blonde hair."

She would have looked mostly like her mother, according to Gordo. He touched the side of the sketch slightly. "She's beautiful, I'm so jealous you got to meet her and I didn't."

"You're jealous that I died?" Gordo asked, raising a brow. "Because that's the only way."

"David." She frowned and closed her eyes tightly, leaning forward and burying her hands in her hair. "I wanted her so badly. I wanted that baby beyond any doubts in my heart. She would have saved me from falling apart like I did. I loved her and I didn't even know about her until the fifth month. She was the only thing that saved me. Why did God have to be so unfair and take both of you away from me when I needed you most?" She began to tremble with tears. He brought her close so she could lay her head on his chest. He ran his hands through her hair, whispering quietly to her. "She was going to be my life."

"Liz, we can try again later…but not right now. Not right now, okay?" He kissed her head gingerly, his hand resting against the back of her head so she could lie against his chest. "Don't think that the world is over just yet. It's just the ending of one chapter. There's still many more. Emma may have been the first, but I promise you she won't be the last."

She smiled gingerly and wiped her tears away. "Promise?"

"I swear on it." He closed the notebook and put it away, folding the sonogram image into it. He didn't want her living with that regret anymore. "Christmas is coming up. What do you want?"

"Please, it's another four weeks from now. Don't be insane." Lizzie answered, laughing feebly and socking him gently in the arm. His expression never changed. "You were serious."

He nodded and bit down hard on his lip. "I want to get you something special this year. It's our first year together after four years apart."

"Three and a half," She corrected.

He nodded sadly. "I know. It was still too long to be away from you." He went to take a sip of his water on the side table, listening to Lizzie talk about all that he missed. When she came to the words Miranda's pregnant, he nearly choked. "How far along?"

"Five months, today." Lizzie answered, whimpering softly at the thought of Emma again. "Larry is over the moon. He's so excited, I'm pretty sure he'd be flying if he could."

"No kidding," Gordo answered, shaking his head. "Man, Miranda…yikes. That poor kid."

Lizzie shook her head and laughed quietly. "Better her than us, huh."

Now that he was cleared to go home, Lizzie wasn't so sure that living with him right now was a good idea. It wasn't that she didn't love him, but he wanted to rush progress. He wanted miracles right now and Lizzie was nothing close to a miracle worker. She didn't even know what to say to him most mornings. Even now as he attempted to walk up the apartment steps, she could barely breathe. He was so sensitive right now. The pain must have been something terrible for him to stop in the middle and stare at his shoes. "Are you okay?" She whispered. "I can go call Shannon."

He grit his teeth and smiled carefully at her. "No, I can make it. Just give me a minute." A minute passed and he still couldn't find the strength to go up the steps. "I'll get up there, go up ahead of me."

She nodded and left, knowing better than to argue with him when he was set on succeeding.

A few more minutes passed and she found him, still sitting on the floor, but with his arms wrapped around his body. He was trembling, presumably from crying. She couldn't quite tell. Sitting beside him, she brought him close so he could rest his head on her shoulder. She felt his tears soak through her shirt and began to wonder when he became so weak. Then it occurred to her that Roberta had said something similar; even the strongest people have to cry sometimes. It's not a sign of weakness, it's a sign they've been strong for too long. She wondered how long he was hiding this pain from her when he spoke up. "I want to go home."

"You are home." Lizzie whispered, touching his unruly hair.

"No…home…four years ago. Lizzie, I want to go to high school and pretend nothing happened. I want to be with you and Miranda, joking and laughing like we used to. I don't want to be weak, or broken. I don't want to be forgetful. I want to be who I used to be. The smart kid with potential." He looked away. "At this rate, I'll never be a director."

"Yes you will, stop being so faithless. I didn't think you'd wake up and you beat the odds. They even told us to say goodbye, that you wouldn't make it." She looked down with a tiny smile. "But you showed them, didn't you?"

"I love you, Elizabeth. Don't ever leave me. Please. I need you more than you know." He sniffed and looked down at his shoes again. "I feel like a child right now. I haven't cried since you kissed Ronnie Jacobs."

Lizzie sat up straight and looked at Gordo. "Did you say Ronnie?"

He nodded and blinked several times. "Yeah, when you kissed him."

"Do you remember who he is?" She inquired skeptically. "Please say yes."

"Yeah, he was your first boyfriend."

"You remember that?" She asked, looking down.

"Yes."

"Don't rush results," Dr. Miller scolded. "Slow progress is progress none the less."

Gordo nodded and looked away. "I just wanted to go back to work."

"Not yet. You're not capable of working just yet. Just a few more weeks, I promise." He looked towards Lizzie, warning her that if she didn't keep an eye on him, he'd take him away again. She didn't want that anymore than he did. "David, do you remember what happened yet?"

He shook his head sadly. "No. I remember a fight with Lizzie, but that's it."

Lizzie frowned. "Yeah, he's not kidding."

Dr. Miller spoke to Lizzie by herself and tugged her away into the hall. "Try to jog his memories, but don't do it too drastically, it may traumatize him. If he can remember then he made a full recovery."

She nodded and looked away for a moment. "I think I have an idea how I'll do that."

Twenty minutes later they were in the car driving passed Iverson Street, heading north towards the apartment. Gordo stared out the window making comments about people's houses changing colors. He could remember that but nothing else? Suddenly he idly made a comment about his car needing work when he noticed that there was one similar to it on the corner. That's when it dawned on her. She brought the car around to the street that garage was on, only keeping the car because the investigation was still open. "David, do you know where your car is?" She acted lost in the parking lot.

He looked to the blue one in the corner, recognizing his anywhere. It had a small chain in the mirror that his mom insisted was good luck in their culture. He didn't know how, but he'd kept it those years. He looked away feebly. "My car is wrecked. I guess I can't get work done on it." The whole front end was smashed, the left hand side crushed in. It looked like it was half its original size.

Lizzie nodded. "You don't remember how that happened?"

"No." He whispered and looked ahead. "I'm sorry, Liz."

"No, no…it's okay." They pulled out of the drive and began down Iverson to the next road. There was a stoplight. She went to stop the car when she idly noticed his hands crossed in front of his face. What was he doing? In the next instant she slammed on the brakes and heard him screaming that he didn't want to die yet, there was so much he had to do. He kept yelling about never wanting to die, and trembled hard. "David, calm down!"

When he noticed her sitting beside him, he moved slightly so his back was facing the window. "Don't die, Lizzie. I need you so much. I love you. I don't want you to die."

Lizzie raised a brow and made a mental note to call Dr. Miller after they got home.

Sipping on tea, she gingerly paged through a magazine while waiting for the office to pick up. "Dr Miller?" She asked when he came over the line. "It's about your patient, David Gordon." Because Gordo was with his parents, she felt she could speak freely finally. "I think he remembers. HE spent the whole car ride home crying and screaming he didn't want to die. We went through the intersection the accident happened at. I guess I should have tried harder to avoid it."

"No," Miller answered. "He's okay. Just give him time to calm down, he'll be fine."

She nodded and coughed when she saw the note on the counter under the magazine. Lizzie, I've decided to go elsewhere. You don't need me holding you back anymore. I love you, I want to marry you, I never want to leave you, but you and I need time to grow and be apart. She growled. "Wasn't three years long enough!"

Miller paused. "What are you talking about?"

"He left! I don't know where he went!" She looked away and clicked the phone so it hung up. She rapidly dialed a number and waited for Roberta to answer.

"He's here," She confirmed. "And he's hysterical. He says that you almost died. I need to talk to you later. He says he doesn't want to put you through this anymore. Elizabeth…who is Angie Bower?"

Sorry I cut it short. Got to head in to work. Angie is in the next chapter. Promise that will be resolved shortly.