Chapter 14
Naruto opened his eyes to a white ceiling and a very familiar smell.
Ugh. Hospitals. But I know this isn't my usual room, I put my name on the ceiling in spitballs once.
He sat up slowly and the room spun. "Woaaah."
A hand was on his chest and another behind his head. "Lay back down, son, just lay down, there you go." Naruto followed the hands and the familiar voice back down onto the soft pillow. Spiky yellow hair flashed in his field of vision, but was quickly gone.
"Dad?" Naruto whispered. The word sent him into a coughing fit. Each hack made his chest and ribs ache and felt like sandpaper scraping over his vocal cords and throat. Finally, they died down and Naruto uncurled from the fetal position he'd fallen into.
"Shh, shh, don't try to speak," the warm voice soothed. "I'll get you some water." For half a second, the strong chakra emanating from his left was gone, but then it was back again. A hand lifted his head and something cool and wet pressed against his lips. Naruto tried to gulp it down, but the cup kept moving and he could only get quick sips.
"Is that better?" the voice asked. Naruto licked his now-moistened lips and nodded. He felt himself be lowered back onto the hard bed and nearly whimpered at the loss of contact.
Naruto opened his mouth and tried again. "Dad?"
"What is it? Is something wrong? What hurts? Do you feel sick? I'll call a nurse—no, better be a doctor, they'll know what's wrong with you, don't worry. I'll be right back." Arashi started to stand up, but Naruto grasped for his hand.
"Dad, I'm fine," he croaked, his voice still very dry. Naruto opened his eyes again. His father was half-standing by the bed. Naruto surveyed his appearance. His forehead protector was gone and his bangs fell in his eyes, which had bags under them. His clothes were rumpled and worn-looking. "But you look like hell, you know."
Arashi blinked and, after a moment, snorted. "To think I was worried about you." He sat back down and ran a hand through his hair. "Should I call the doctor in?"
Naruto shook his head, but that made the room sway dangerously. "I think I'm okay. Just a little woozy."
"Yes, the doctor said the antidote might make you feel sick," Arashi explained. He grabbed some pillows from under the bed and propped them behind the boy's head and shoulders. "Here, this should help you sit up."
"Thanks." Naruto sat up slowly, the pillows behind his back almost uncomfortably hard. He leaned against them anyway, more unhappy flat on his back than with the lumpy pillows poking it.
Arashi sat on the edge of the bed, his brow furrowed. "What do you remember?"
Naruto swallowed and answered, "I was at the training fields, working on that jutsu you taught me, when Iru—uh, Dolphin and I were attacked by two missing-nins. One of them grazed my arm with a poisoned kunai. Dolphin took on one of them and I fought the other. I could feel the poison in my system and the guy I was fighting hit my head." As he said this, Naruto winced and gently rubbed the back of his head, where a goose egg was covered by bandages. Grr I wish Kyuubi could take care of that. I've got a headache. "Hmm. How's Dolphin?"
"He had some minor injuries. He did pretty good, managed to hold both of them off until I got there," Arashi explained. He poured some more water into a cup and handed it to Naruto, who began to sip it.
"What was the poison on the kunai?" Naruto wondered between sips.
At the mention of the poison, his father twitched. His left hand clenched and he took a deep breath before answering. "The poison was very strong, you felt how fast it worked." Naruto nodded and sipped again, glad for the cool water. Arashi took another deep breath and ran a suddenly shaky hand through his hair. "You were damn lucky that the kunai only grazed you. The doctors estimated that a tenth of the poison on the kunai got into your system."
Naruto lowered his glass and stared at his father. "A tenth?And it worked that fast?"
He nodded, his mouth tight. "A tenth."
Naruto scratched his chin, thinking about that poison. "That's one heck of a poison," he murmured. "Did medic-nins analyze it? Because if we could replicate that kind of—"
"What!"
Naruto jumped and stared at his father, who was staring back in amazement and almost horror. "You almost died! Had that kunai wound been any deeper, you'd be dead now! As it was, the doctors were barely able to save you! If I hadn't rushed you here, you'd be dead anyway! You've been in a blasted coma for five days!" During this rant, Arashi had risen up fully and now loomed over his son, face contorted in rage and fear. Suddenly, he turned and stalked to the window, bracing his hands on either side of it.
Naruto stared at his father, then scanned the room. Someone had brought a table in and placed it in front of the chairs in the room. Papers, scrolls and books were scattered on the table and spilled over to the floor. The couch on the other side of the room had an indentation in it. It was clear his father had been just about living in Naruto's room for the duration of his coma. "I'm sorry, Dad, I didn't know." Arashi didn't respond, just continued to stare out the window. "I'm okay, really."
Arashi responded by hitting the window frame. Then again, harder. And once more, hard enough to crack it. Naruto pushed himself up into something close to a sitting position. "Dad?"
The other blonde man shook his head and brought his fist up to his mouth. After a moment, his shoulders began to shake. He gasped for breath and his face began to turn red. Then, he threw his head back and laughed. The Hokage's laughter rang through the room, with more than an edge of hysteria to it.
Naruto stared at his father, eyes wide and concerned. "Uh, Dad?"
Arashi turned around and waved his hand in a "don't-mind-me" gesture, still laughing. He dragged a chair over and sat down. Slowly, his guffaws died down to laughs, then to chuckles, and finally with a sigh, he stopped laughing. "My cheeks hurt now," he commented.
"Do I need to call a doctor?" Naruto asked, very worried about his father's mental health.
"Hmm? Oh, no, no," Arashi assured him. He grinned. "I'm fine."
Naruto blinked. "Riiight. I'm calling a doctor." He reached for the call button, but his father stopped him.
"No, really, I'm okay now." At Naruto's decidedly skeptical look, he continued. "It's just one of those situations where you either laugh or cry and it's not exactly becoming of the Hokage to fall apart crying, so," he shrugged. "I laughed."
Naruto inspected his father's face carefully. Satisfied, he leaned back against the lumpy pillows and sighed. "Yeah, I guess I can understand that."
Arashi shook his head. "It has been a trying three weeks," he murmured. "I swear," he marveled, staring at Naruto with an almost wondering expression. "Trouble follows you around like a lost puppy dog."
Naruto grinned sheepishly and scratched the back of his head. Sakura had told him that once, while repairing his multiple broken ribs after a simple C-ranked mission of his turned into a three-week, A-ranked battle for his life. That happens a lot. When I'm Hokage, I'll assign missions more carefully. I bet the Granny's half drunk when she gives out missions.
"Anyway, I'll go get your mother and Dr. Amuki." Arashi stood up.
"Ew. Why him?" Naruto demanded, making a face. He did not like the man.
Arashi grinned and ruffled his hair. Naruto made another face at the childish treatment. "Because he has the test results back," he answered.
"Finally," Naruto muttered. "Did he send them through the mail in Suna?"
Arashi frowned as he walked out the door. "Hush."
A few minutes of staring at the ceiling with out the return of grown-ups and Naruto was bored. He got bored very easily. The boy began to eye the pile of papers on the desk. "It wouldn't hurt to just look, would it?"
He slowly sat up and waited for the room to stop spinning. He slowly stood up and waited for the floor to stop rushing at his face. Finally, it did and he stumbled over to the desk and began riffling through the papers and scrolls on it. "Oooh, what's this? Mission assignments?"
They were low-level missions; no Hokage would be reckless enough to bring anything near classified information out of the safety of the Hokage tower. Naruto flipped through them, landing on one that described a mission to a nearby village, to replace a sick kindergarten teacher for a day. Naruto smirked, it was assigned to Hinata. She'd be pretty good at that, I think, but I know who'd be even better. He carefully scraped away the name Hinata and replaced it with another, copying his father's rather messy penmanship. He would have gone on, but footsteps alerted him to the return of the grownups. Naruto pushed himself to his feet and made his way back to the bed, pulling the covers over his body just as the doorknob turned.
His father entered the room and gave Naruto an odd look. Does he know I was up to something? Next was Meara, who rushed over to him and immediately smothered him with hugs and kisses and questions, which Naruto took, endured and answered in turn until she was satisfied. Dr. Amuki and Arashi waited it out and when she was finished and sitting on Naruto's bed with her arm around his shoulders, Dr. Amuki cleared his throat.
"We have gotten all of the tests back," he began. "There was nothing to speak of in the blood tests—" At this, Naruto had to keep himself from gaping. So, whoever's behind this not only repressed Kyuubi so deep he got out, but he or she altered my blood so that it was completely human as well. I may be in over my head.
"Naruto? Are you listening to Dr. Amuki?" His mother's voice snapped him out of his thoughts.
He nodded vigorously. "Uh, sorry. I got lost in thought. Please, continue."
Once again, the obnoxious doc cleared his throat. "Well, the only test that showed anything up was this test." He said a large, complicated word that Naruto rolled his eyes at and handed a piece of paper to Arashi. "It detects unusual chakra or energy signatures in the body, ones that aren't native to the body."
"Not native?" Naruto repeated, looking at the paper, trying in vain to decipher the multi-colored blobs on the paper.
Dr. Amuki nodded. "Yes. When we did the scan, you'll see that there is a foreign energy signature in his brain, affecting the part of the brain that controls the conscious mind." He leaned forward and pointed at several purple blobs on the pictures.
Whoever's behind this is messing with my brain to control what I percieve. That's more advanced than any genjutsu. I guess that's what Kyuubi meant when he said my mind was being warped. Naruto scowled at the picture, trying to figure out what that meant.
Dr. Amuki continued. "I did some extra research, but could find no precedent for this kind of phenomenon. The only hint of a reference I could find was in an old book, detailing medical practices from around the world."
Meara took the paper from her husband's hands as he glanced up. "Where was this mentioned before?" he asked.
Amuki fixed his glasses. "Coincidentally, it was mentioned in connection with the Churaeah tribe."
At this Meara raised her eyes. "Really?"
"Yes." Dr. Amuki nodded. "It wasn't a direct reference, but it was the closest I found."
Arashi frowned. "So, other than this, you found absolutely nothing."
The doctor pushed his glasses up, shifted his feet and cleared his throat. "Uh, yes. As I said, there is no precedent for this or anything like—"
"Thank you, Doctor," Arashi interrupted, dismissing the man. Dr. Amuki clearly got the hint and and mumbled something incoherent before scuttling out.
"So," Meara murmured. "The only reference to this is from my family's tribe."
Arashi wandered through the room and eventually came to the other side of his wife. "I think its about time for a visit to them, anyway. We haven't been up there since before Raidon was born. What do you say?"
Meara glanced between the two blondes, her eyes resting on Naruto. "Sounds good to me. How about you? Do want to see your G.G. again?"
G.G.? That must be some relative of mine or something? Naruto grinned. "Sure. I'd love to see G.G. When do we leave?"
--------------------------------------------
"Do I have to?" Naruto wondered. He shuddered at the thought of what was to come. He was about to endure utter pain that no man should have to go through. His mother, his very own mother, was about to put him through the worst torture imaginable, worse than being captured by enemy-nins with laughing gas, worse than being a forest facing an army of over-caffeinated beavers. As stated, the worst thing imaginable.
Shopping.
Meara rolled her eyes. "Yes, you do." She grabbed his hand and dragged the teen forward.
Into the hell—the mall.
"Why do I need clothes? I have clothes!" Naruto complained.
"It's spring, Naruto. The tribe lives in the mountains and this time of year, it's still pretty cold. You need to be equipped for the cool weather," she explained, tugging her son through the store.
Naruto growled. "Don't I have winter clothes?"
"You had a growth spurt lately, or didn't you notice?" she asked.
"I have? Oh." Naruto thought and realized that, indeed, his pants had been moving up his calf for the past few weeks and his shirts had been getting a little bit tighter around the shoulders as well. I wonder how tall I've gotten?
Seeing her point, he didn't give up, but tried a different tactic. "But, can't you get me clothes, well, like, without me having to be here?"
"No."
"But—"
"No."
"I—"
"No."
Naruto opened his mouth.
"No."
Naruto sighed and waited a couple of minutes. "Where are we even gonna find winter clothes? I mean, who's selling them anymore?"
"That is why we are going to a tailor shop," she answered.
Naruto eyed his mother, coming to a realization. "You have an answer for everything, don't you?"
Meara laughed. "That's my job. We're here." Naruto stared at a small shop with the inventive title 'Konoha Tailor Shop' printed on the window in block letters. There was a picture of what was apparently, the proprietor in the corner of the window. He didn't look that old, but wore inch-thick glasses anyway. Naruto wondered how well he could see.
"Come on, honey," Meara said and started forward. Naruto took two steps following her and spun around, preparing to run. He took two strides in that direction and—
"Ooof!"
Tripped on something.
Or, rather, someone.
Naruto managed not to crush the person he'd tripped on by throwing his hands out on either side of their head, so that he stopped in a push-up position above him.
Er, her?
"Hinata?"
The dark-haired girl blushed furiously as she stuttered, "N-Naruto, u-uh, um . . ."
Naruto grinned down at her. "Hey, what are you doing here?"
Before Hinata could attempt to stammer out an answer, Meara grabbed Naruto's ear and dragged him up. "What do you think you are doing?!" she hissed into the currently twisted ear.
Naruto tried desperately not to whimper as his mother gave an extra hard yank on his abused auditory organ. "I-ow! just tripped! Ow!"
The woman glared at him, then gave a gentle glance to Hinata, who had pulled herself up and was standing in front of the pair, tapping her fingers together and blushing. "Did he really just trip over you, Hinata?"
Hinata nodded. "Y-yes, Mrs. Rajiri, I-I'm afraid I got in N-Naruto's way and he tripped over me b-by ac-accident," she murmured.
Meara let go of Naruto's ear with a "hmph." She smiled at Hinata. "Thank you for stopping my son from running away," she answered.
Hinata blushed and shifted on her feet. "Oh, i-it was n-no p-p-problem, really."
"Alright," Meara agreed. "Come on, you," she snapped at her son. "We have to get clothes."
Naruto spun around and grabbed Hinata's hand. "Hinata! Save me! Please! Help! Don't let her take me! Hinataaaaaaaaaa!"
Meara smacked Naruto hard on the top of the head. "Stop that!"
"But, but," Naruto trailed off, rubbing his abused head. "At least come with me," he implored the Hyuuga, employing his big blue eyes. "So she doesn't put me in something awful!"
Meara sighed and rolled her eyes, but Hinata asked, "W-what do you m-mean, N-Naruto?"
Naruto grinned. "We're going on a trip to my mom's family in the mountains and I need some winter clothes, since I grew out of mine," he explained. "Would you help me in there? Make sure I don't end up in uh, frills or something?"
"Frills? Naruto, I wouldn't put you in frills! For Kami's—"
"I know, but I need some moral support! Please, Hinata!"
"Well, I-I don't k-know—"
Naruto seized on it. "But that's not a no! Come on!" He once more clutched her hand and tugged her forward, striding into the tailor shop, Hinata blushing and Meara shaking her head.
"Hey! I need some clothes!" Naruto yelled upon stepping into the shop.
"Narutoooo," Meara moaned.
The shop owner came out of the back and raised his eyebrow. "Excuse me?"
Meara stepped forward and slapped a hand over Naruto's mouth before he could say something. "Hello, sir. My family is going on a trip and Naruto needs cold weather clothes, since he's grown out of his old ones. Sorry about him."
"How much will he need?" Mr. Motosuwa asked, reached for his tape measure.
"Oh, I don't know. The doctors said he was probably close to done growing, and I have my husband's credit card, so . . . let's go nuts and get him a whole wardrobe, just with a little room for adjustment, in case they were wrong and he grows some more," Meara grinned.
The tailor smiled back. "The first step is to measure him."
Naruto turned around and almost made a break for it, but Hinata was in his way again. Oh, man, he thought as Meara grabbed his shoulder and dragged him elsewhere.
"D-don't worry, N-naruto," Hinata assured him as she followed. "I've done this before, for f-formal robes. It's over s-soon."
"Promise?" Naruto pouted.
Hinata blushed again and nodded. "Mm-hmm."
"Hold out your arms," the tailor commanded.
Naruto obeyed and sighed. Mr. Motosuwa whipped his tape measure out and began, well, measuring. Naruto turned to Hinata. "So, how've you been?"
Hinata blushed. "Oh, w-well, I-I've been alright." She tapped her fingers together and inspected her feet.
The tailor scribbled things down in his little book and wrapped the measure around Naruto's waist. The measuree frowned. "Hey, Hinata, are you feeling okay?"
Hinata glanced up at him, then away. "I-I think so, why d-do you ask?"
The tailor measured from Naruto's armpit to his waist. "Well, you just look kinda red, that's all," he explained. Behind him, Meara closed her eyes and covered them with her hand.
At Naruto's statement, Hinata's face turned, if possible, even redder. "Oh, uh, I-"
"HEY! WATCH IT! WHADDAYA THINK YOU'RE TRYING TO DO!" Naruto howled at the tailor, who immediately backed away and gaped.
"Naruto!"
Naruto turned to his mother and pointed accusingly at Mr. Motosuwa. "He was trying to touch my—"
"He was trying to measure your inseam!"
Naruto stared at her, then spun to Hinata. "Did he try to measure your inseam, too?"
"Naruto!"Meara rose from her seat.
He spun back. "Whaaat? If he molested her the same way—"
Meara dragged him away. "Naruto! He is not molesting you! He has to measure your inseam!"
"What's an inseam?"
Meara sighed. "It is the length from the front of your pants to the back under your crotch. And Hinata said that she was here for formal robes, so no one measured an inseam on her."
Naruto relaxed. "Oh, okay."
He strode back to Mr. Motosuwa. "Sorry I yelled. You just took me by surprise." He grinned and jumped back up on the little raised circle he had been standing on. "You can keep going." He turned to Hinata. "Well, I guess nobody molested you, but if they ever do, let me know and I'll pound 'em into dirt!" Naruto emphasized this by smashing his fist into the palm of his hand.
Hinata blushed and Meara rolled her eyes again. In a couple of minutes, Mr. Motosuwa was done with no more problems. Naruto stepped down and threw himself into a chair. "Yeesh, I thought it would never be over. Can we go home now?"
"You were only up there for five minutes, Naruto," Meara sighed. "And no, we need to decide on what you need, what colors, what styles and how much."
Naruto made a face. "Ew."
The tailor came out with a larger notebook and several binders. Naruto moaned and shuddered. He scooted closer to Hinata and tried to grab her hand again, but Meara slapped his arm and he moved back to his seat.
"We have several styles of every clothing item here, as well as multiple fabrics," Mr. Motosuwa began.
"I'll need something durable to train in, and preferably orange," Naruto butted in. "In fact, could you make this?" He leaned forward and scribbled out a sketch of his old black and orange outfit he'd gotten when out with Jiraya.
Mr. Motosuwa raised an eyebrow. "I suppose I could, if that's what you really want."
Naruto nodded firmly. "Yep. Oh and maybe something to go with this?" He grabbed the pen out of the tailor's hand again and drew a long, sleeveless, orange cloak with the red swirls lining the bottom of it.
Meara frowned at it. "Where did you get that idea?"
"Uh, I don't know, it just came to me one night," Naruto shrugged. I can't really tell her about my work with Lord Chikao in the real world. That would freak her out a little bit, I think. "I just think it looks cool."
"Do you want me to make the cloak as well, or just something to go with it?" Mr. Motosuwa asked.
"Oh, you can make the cloak, as well," Naruto conceded. He sat back in his chair, folded his hands and proceeded to count the tiles on the ceiling.
His mother's voice interrupted him at fifteen. "You know, a sleeveless anything won't do you any good in the mountain spring."
Naruto shrugged. "I know, but like you said, Dad gave you the credit card, so why not make it anyway?"
Meara laughed and ruffled his hair. "Fine with me."
Naruto frowned at the ceiling, and, having forgotten where he was, began recounting. When he was at one hundred and seventy-six, he ran out of tiles, so he figured he might want to tune back into the conversation. He turned back to the little square table, where Mr. Motosuwa, Meara and Hinata were all chatting excitedly about something.
"I don't know about this design," Meara hedged. She chewed on her lip and stared at a drawing on the table.
"No," Hinata murmured. "The design is alright. The color is all wrong, though. Naruto looks good in blue, but this is the wrong shade. He would look better in a much brighter, richer blue than this."
Naruto peeked over her shoulder. "Totally. I hate navy blue."
Hinata squeaked and fell out of the chair. "N-n-naruto! Wh-what are y-you d-doing behind m-me?"
"Huh? Oh, I ran out of ceiling tiles to count and decided to see what you guys were talking about," he explained. "Is this a kimono?"
Hinata pulled herself up and began tapping her fingers together. "O-oh, well, I-I have to go, anyway, m-my family was expecting me home s-soon." She ran out of the room and then out of the shop.
Naruto watched her go, frowning. "She sure is weird."
Meara smacked his head. "Naruto!"
The blonde rubbed his skull. "What? She kinda is! She's always stammering and blushing and she never looks me in the eye." He pouted. At home, I wondered if she could somehow see Kyuubi inside me, but I don't have Kyuubi here, so I wonder if she just doesn't like me. He frowned and rubbed his eyes.
"Hey, you tired?" Meara asked.
Naruto raised his head and shrug-nodded. "Not really, but sorta. Just bored, I guess."
"You can go."
"Really?" Naruto checked his watch. "But I've only been here an hour."
Meara laughed. "That's about fifty minutes longer than your father usually lasts. You can go."
Naruto grinned and jumped up, sprinting out and through the mall to freedom