14. A Lesson

Atem felt terribly guilty accompanying Malik, but his genuine joy and pleasure at the prospect of the afternoon's activity eased Atem's discomfort considerably. He gradually realized that this was really the first time since their duel that he had the opportunity to spend time privately with Malik, and, as ever, Malik was anxious to make up for some of the damage he'd done to his Pharaoh and his friends.

As they walked up to Malik's slip, Atem said, "Honestly, Malik, don't feel that you owe me anything. You were placed in an impossible position by fate. We both were. Everything worked out for the best."

"I know, but I really want to make up for things—a little. I could never do enough, of course—"

Atem put up his hand. "You had too much put on you and too little love and understanding from the authority figures in your life. You didn't have what you needed to give you the strength to face a burden that heavy. Please. There's no need to speak of it."

Atem saw Malik's eyes grow more fluid as he smiled ruefully and said, "You're right. We all need to put this behind us. I'm being difficult. Let's have a pleasant afternoon."

The two of them relaxed and got out on the water. Malik gave Atem a quick sailing lesson. As it turned out, he was a good teacher and they were quickly having an excellent time on the water—so excellent, in fact, that Atem almost forgot that he had originally planned to spend the day sailing with Seto.

Almost.

"Let's sail to Five-Spot Island," Malik suggested amiably. "That's a nice afternoon jaunt and we should make it back in plenty of time for dinner."

Atem had kept a look-out for Seto throughout their trip and hadn't seen him. (It would help if I knew what Seto's yacht looked like, he thought.) He decided to give in and give up on the chance of catching a further clue as to what might be going on with this Alex character and enjoy himself. "Sure, Malik," he said.

"Great!" Malik said with clear delight and relayed orders on trimming the sails accordingly.

Atem sighed inwardly and resigned himself to enjoying the afternoon. Malik wasn't quite the stimulating company that Seto was, but he was certainly a pleasant sight, with skin like smooth caramel, pale blond hair, and those unique lavender eyes. And he still wore the gold bands and revealing shirts that suited him so. He sighed. Seto would never wear anything like that.

"Isn't that Kaiba's yacht?"

"Huh?"

"That yacht, tied up at the dock there, isn't that Kaiba's?"

Atem started out of his reverie and looked where Malik was pointing. "Let's slow down and see if it is. Maybe we can say hi."

Malik was happy to do so and they eased off. Atem caught sight of a couple of figures aboard the small yacht. It was indeed Seto and Alex. Alex seemed to be speaking earnestly with Seto, Seto's attention fully engaged and his expression uncharacteristically warm.

"Wait, Malik," Atem said. "This might not be the best time to interrupt."

"Sure. Should we …"

"Let's not be too obvious." Atem didn't want to leave too quickly.

As they passed, he saw Alex impulsively throw his arms around Seto's neck and pull himself close, drawing his face toward Seto's. But at that moment, the sail obscured his view and he couldn't see what happened next.

"Yes, this is definitely not the time to interrupt," he confirmed. "Let's go."

"OK," Malik said happily. But Atem wasn't happy at all.

What was Seto's reaction? He had to know.

This is what I get for spying.

He tried to relax and enjoy the rest of the afternoon.

"Is something bothering you?" It was Malik.

"Uh, why do you ask?"

"Well, it's only that you haven't said anything ever since we passed Kaiba's yacht."

"Oh, sorry. It's just … I think that I interrupted a private moment and … I'm feeling embarrassed about it."

"You? Atem, it's hard to imagine you feeling bad about anything. You always do the right thing."

"Me? I make lots of mistakes. I … I guess I put on a really good front of confidence. Pharaohs have to, you know."

"I never thought of it that way."

They pulled into Malik's slip. Atem was about to disembark when Malik pulled him into a hug. He bent so that his lips were right next to Atem's ear and whispered, "I guess Pharaohs need reassurance, too. Thank you for everything, Atem. Honestly. And … thank you for today. It was so much fun."

Amazed, Atem embraced him in return and said, "Thank you too, Malik. I'm glad we can be friends."

As Atem turned, he was startled to see Seto's yacht tied up nearby.

When had they come in?

Seto was standing next to the slip looking at Atem with an expression that Atem had difficulty reading in its entirety. There was surprise, but also … was that disappointment? Or … disapproval? Was there some other undertone? He felt the blood rise to his face. They had been observed, and had that last bit been … misunderstood? Surely Seto didn't think they were a couple. They were never together.

But then there was Alex. He was much easier to read. There was dejection there. Definitely.

Why couldn't I have a little patience?

And … looking at the young man, Atem wondered why he couldn't feel a little more compassion instead of this gigantic mixture of relief and gladness. Why was he overjoyed that this young man was suffering so? After all, he would feel the same way if …

"Seto—"

"You couldn't wait to sail, I see."

"I …"

"Some other time. I'm sorry, but … my friend Alex still needs some advice in dealing with his father."

"Are you sure I couldn't help?"

"I think I understand the situation better in this case, Atem. As well as you know people, Alex's father is a businessman. I think I can work out some sort of arrangement with him."

"Very well. But … if you change your mind …"

Atem headed back to Malik feeling that things hadn't gone as well as they could have.

"Kaiba's not upset that you came with me, is he?" Malik asked. "He seems …"

"No, I think he's just worried about his friend."

"Because I wouldn't want him angry with me. I don't know him very well and …"

"Don't worry about it, Malik. If he's upset, he's upset with me. But I don't understand why he would be. He's the one who changed our plans."

It couldn't have been that … that he saw Malik hug me. Seto doesn't see me as a potential partner … does he? He's never given me any sign.

No … he's probably angry because he offered to teach me to sail and I let Malik do it … but why would that be important to him? A blow to his ego?

Atem looked toward Seto's retreating figure with a mixture of wistfulness and regret. If only he could learn to read him better. What was the matter with him? This was exactly the sort of thing he did best.

"Atem?"

"I'm sorry. It's just … Do you really think that Seto was upset?"

"Kaiba? He always seems a little annoyed with something to me. I'm sorry, Atem, Kaiba scares me a little."

Then why the hell did you hug me in front of him? If you don't like him annoyed with you …!

Atem suppressed the thought. It wasn't Malik's fault. He was being a good friend, and they had been having a pleasant time. Malik didn't know how he felt about Seto. If he didn't keep his feelings hidden …

But he wasn't prepared to tell Malik about it, either.

"You never …"

"What, are you asking whether I …? I never tried to read him with the sennen rod, no. With the stone carving, I was sort of afraid use it directly against him … you know, lest it respond to him? The priest in the carving …" He frowned. "You—you're not trying to get inside his head, are you? You know that's …"

"Of course I do and I wouldn't … I—I just … Sometimes I just wish I knew what was on his mind, that's all. I really shouldn't be so worried about this, but …" he threw up his hands. "Oh, I don't know!"

Malik stared at Atem with deep concern and compassion. "Great Pharaoh!" He knelt before Atem and bowed his head. "I can't bear to see you in such distress! How can I assist you? Has Kaiba offended you? Is he keeping secrets?"

Atem put his hand on Malik's head and said, "Don't, please. All this is in my mind. Kaiba didn't do a thing. He always keeps secrets," Atem smiled, "but if he is, I'm positive they don't have to do with me." Unfortunately, he added mentally.

Atem walked to a bench on the marina boardwalk and sat, allowing Malik to join him.

"You know, I've gotten so that I can predict some of the things Seto's likely to do in a duel situation. He uses a beat-down strategy centered around those dragons of his. He likes to cripple and demoralize his opponent. You can expect him to be aggressive, often impatient."

"Yes, I'd say that impatience is his primary weakness as a duelist," Malik commented. "I had planned on exploiting his impatience … I don't even want to think about what my dark side was contemplating …" He shuddered.

Atem felt a chill creep up his spine as well at the thought of Seto facing Malik's darkest, most deranged aspect. "Ah, well. We don't have to think about that. But … it's hard to read Kaiba in ordinary, day-to-day circumstances. He's not an ordinary guy with ordinary feelings. He doesn't like to—"

Malik shrugged. "He doesn't want to have feelings. They annoy him."

Atem chuckled. Annoyance was an emotion itself, but Malik was right on target. Seto didn't like emotion, did he? He couldn't quantify them or make them work for him. But because he didn't understand them well, people could easily use emotion against him if they knew what they were doing, even those emotions he thought he had under control and working in his favor. Take anger, for example. Seto thought that anger fueled his dueling and made him sharper when, in fact, it made him overly aggressive and impatient. It was primarily his impatience that lost him their duel on Alcatraz. Looking back, that duel could have gone in an entirely different direction had Seto exercised patience.

He examined Malik's open, genuine face, trying to imagine what the duel between his dark side and Seto would have been like. What shadow game would he have conjured up for Seto?

Thank Ra it was only a dark speculation.

"Atem?"

"Sorry. I was just thinking. You're completely right about Seto. He's … maybe he's a little afraid of how he feels. I … I guess I have a hard time understanding what that's like."

"You too? I thought you could read people like a book."

A short laugh escaped Atem's lips and he admitted, "I pride myself on that talent, but … apparently there are some people who elude even my abilities."

"Is it so important?"

"I need to understand him, Malik."

For a moment, Atem was positive that Malik was going to ask why, but then Malik asked whether Atem would like to go to the seafood restaurant at the marina instead.

Atem accepted gratefully, all the while studying those strange lavender eyes of his with their odd, constricted pupils that had dwelt too long in darkness. Malik had immediately moved on to the subject of the Ishtars and family business. Atem reminded himself that they were his adopted family now and that he should spend more time with them after all. "Thanks, Malik," he said.

"Whatever for?"

"For everything, of course," he said. But mainly, right now, for changing the subject. Atem was positive that Malik had read him clearly and was well aware of his feelings for Seto. But Malik wouldn't say anything about it, not even to Rishid. He had understood completely. Atem was amazed at the manner in which he'd transformed himself into a perfect servant … and an admirable friend.

"Then you're very welcome, I guess," he said. "Let's get some food into you, my Pharaoh. You look like you need it."

"Uh, Malik, could you just call me Atem? I'm not sure that people would understand."

"Oh. Right."

Author's notes:

I keep looking this over and I'm not finding tweaks, so ... here goes. (Plus ... I'm kind of nervous about the next chapter, so I want to post it soon to get it over with ... but it must be done ...)

Thanks again for reading & commenting!

... and a preview of chapter 15:

"I understand, Mokuba. I do. And I understand why you're worried about me."

"We're happy, Seto. We're finally happy. And here he is again. Sure, he helped you work things out so we could be happy, but …"

"… but he's part of the reason why I wouldn't let myself be happy. I understand."