Chapter 14 Can't find my way

2 days later

"You seem sad, little Fae. Why do you look so distraught?" Godric asked me a few days later when I turned the corner in the tomb and came into his sight and dropped down onto the dirt ground and hid my face in my hands while I listened to him shuffle around on his side of the dark hallway. I didn't want to look at him because of the bad news I had to deliver and mostly because I didn't want him to see how bugged I was about everything that had happened since I had last seen him. I was barely holding it together as it was and if I saw the expression on his face and the sympathy in his eyes I would surely fall apart again.

"I failed you Godric. I failed you big time." I muttered, looking down at my hands as I spoke and sighed. "You're going to hate me for what I have to tell you."

"I highly doubt that there is anything you could say that would make me hate you." Godric replied with that easy going tone in his voice that put me at ease and I tilted my head back to see him looking down at with a gentle smile. He sat down with his feet under him and he leaned forward with his arms on his knees as he asked. "How did you think you failed me?"

"I couldn't get Bonnie to agree to break the curse." I admitted with a frown, thinking back to that night when Bonnie had pulled me aside on the street and told me that she wouldn't take part in releasing Godric and I found myself getting sad all over again. "She doesn't want to be involved in this and Elena says there are no other witches in the area."

"I suspected that may happen." Godric stated, shrugging his transparent shoulders easily. "As I said, not many witches, if any, would want to break another witch's curse. So I can't say I fault Bonnie for her refusal."

"How can you not?" I demanded, clenching my hands tightly. "It's because of her that you are going to be stuck here for a while longer. And that pisses me off."

"I'm sure she has her reasons for believing her decision is the right one. And I can't be upset over that." Godric pointed out, the calmness never leaving his face as he spoke to me. "Besides, I've been stuck here for this long anyway. A little more time is not going to kill me."

"You shouldn't have to be here for any amount of time." I hissed, my voice sounding a lot more harsh then it ever had before. "What if I called home and I asked around? Maybe I could get a witch to come here and break the curse."

"I don't think that would be wise my dear." The 2,000 year old vampire told me with a shake of his head. "If you were to do that, then word would get back to Eric and I don't wish for him to find out about this just yet. And we both know why I think that."

"Because Eric would freak out and he would only have one thing on his mind. Revenge." I finished Godric's sentenced and nodded in understanding. "And if it didn't work then it would hurt him even more. So you were probably right the first time you said that we should keep this between us."

"I don't want to bring any more pain upon my progeny then there already has been." Godric murmured, looking down at the dirt and traced a circle with his ghostly finger. "So we will have to figure out another option."

"Wait, you said there was another way to get you out." I exclaimed, remembering the conversation I had with him just a few days ago and I sat up straighter. "You said that having a witch break the curse was the easiest and fastest way but that option failed and you also mentioned that there was one other way."

"Oh did I?" Godric asked, his face going blank as he spoke. "I don't recall saying that."

"But you did, I remember it very clearly. You said there was only one alternative but you never explained what." I said, feeling a ball of excitement drop into my stomach and I clasped my hands together gleefully. "So what is it? Tell me what the other solution is and I will do it right away."

"I can't." He replied simply, looking at me straight on and shook his head. "I can't tell you the other way. It's not right."

"What do you mean it's not right? Why can't you tell me and let me decide that?" My face fell into a frown as his words sunk in and I was confused. He knew the one other way that would set him free and he was refusing to tell me? That didn't make sense. "Godric, this could make a difference between you getting out of here soon and going home to Eric, or being stuck here for god knows how much longer."

"I realize that little one. I know the consequences of what my silence will be." He confessed, touching his hands to his knees as he sighed. "But I would rather stay here in the dark then to put this burden on someone like you. Do not ask me to divulge this information to you. It is not something I can do easily."

"Fine. I'll let it go for now. But this is not over Godric." I warned him, waving my finger in his direction. "It's not over by a long shot."

Later that day

"What the fuck is that?" Elena demanded the moment she laid eyes on her friend when she walked through the doorway of Allison's apartment and she paused in the front hallway in shock. She had come over here expecting to just spend some time with Allie without any drama going on like it had for the past couple of weeks. But now that she was here and was looking at Allison, Elena found her eyes growing wide as saucers when she saw the marks on the older girl's neck and she dropped her bag on the floor in fury. "You were bitten by a vampire? When? Who? I'll kill them!"

"Um, I highly doubt you would be able to do that." Allison pointed out, her voice sounding surprisingly light despite the angry looking bites on her skin. "But I appreciate the offer any way."

"So who did this to you?" Elena asked, pulling her jacket off and setting it on the back of a nearby chair before she followed Allison into the kitchen. "And when did this happen? Was it recently? Because you never gave any indication that something like this had happened."

"It was a few days ago and I didn't say anything because it wasn't all that big a deal." Allison replied, opening a cabinet and taking down two glasses. "I'm fine and obviously still alive. So it's not a big deal."

"Hello? Are you crazy?" Elena asked, throwing her hands in the air. "You were attacked and bitten by a vampire. I think this is a very big deal."

"I just want to forget it ever happened. I have more pressing matters to think about and this attack is not one of them and you know why?" She asked, turning around with her hands on her hips. "Because it wasn't a stranger vampire who bit me. It was Damon."

"Damon!" Elena's eyebrows practically shot up into her hair line the moment she said his name. "Damon was the one who attacked you and bit you? Are you serious?"

"Completely serious." She nodded, walking over to the refrigerator and pulling out a pitcher of ice tea. "It was that night that I found out he wasn't going to help with the Godric situation. He followed me out to the parking lot and I insulted him and he bit me."

"Oh my god." Elena exclaimed, her jaw falling open at this explanation. "I had no idea. He never said anything about it."

"Well that's a surprise since he has been shouting around how much he thinks he would enjoy my blood since the first night we met. And then the second he drinks from me, I'm shocked that he didn't go around bragging about it." Allison rolled her eyes as she filled both glasses and set the pitcher on the counter. "But whatever. I don't care. It was going to happen sooner or later and now that it is over, I don't have to worry about it anymore. Damon got the chance to taste my blood and now we can all move on."

"That still doesn't change the fact that I am pissed." Elena said, pushing aside her glass of tea and walking out of the kitchen and back to where she had dropped her things while Allison followed after her.

"Uh, what are you doing?" She asked sounding concerned as Elena stuffed her arms back in her jacket and grabbed the handle of her purse and slipped it up over her shoulder.

"I'm going to stop at home to get something. And then I am driving over to the Salvatore house to kick Damon's ass." Elena said determinedly, looking back at her friend. "Don't worry, I won't really try to pick a fight with Damon. I will just yell. A lot."

At the Salvatore house

"You want to explain why you are walking around here looking so happy?" Stefan asked his brother, suspicious of Damon's unlikely good mood that had been present for the last 48 hours. There wasn't all that many moments when Damon had a smile on his face for a genuine reason and in fact, those moments were few and very far between. So that made him think that whatever had brought about this change of attitude had to be something that was sure going to disgust him. "Why are you looking like that?"

"Like what?" Damon asked, pretending to appear innocent but Stefan knew his brother too well and was able to pick up on the smirk that was going to show up on his face any minute. "What do you think I am looking like little brother?"

"You like you just had your top three fantasies all rolled into one." Stefan shot back, crossing his arms as he watched the darker haired vampire lounge back in the chair in front of the dancing fire. "Come on. I know something happened because you are never this nice for this long."

"Well since you are so curious I will tell you this. One of my fantasies did come true a few days ago." Damon confessed with a click of his tongue against his teeth. "And it involves a certain little brunette."

"Allison finally let you kiss her?" Stefan guessed, hoping that would be it and not what he has been secretly worrying about. But the look in Damon's eyes said it wasn't something as simple as a kiss. It was something much bigger then that. Something that Damon had been obsessing about for over a month. It was something that had satisfied the hungry look in Damon's eyes and Stefan found himself freezing in place when a wave of understanding washed over him and he looked at his brother in shock. "Damon, don't tell me you did what I think you did."

"Ok, I won't." Damon relented, shrugging his shoulders and turned back to look at the fire. "I know you wouldn't approve."

"Oh my god, you did it didn't you?" Stefan demanded, his hands curling into tight fists as he leaned forward. "You finally tasted her blood."

"Wow, that only took you 2 days to figure out." Damon said mockingly and rolled his eyes, an action that confirmed Stefan's worse fears. "But don't worry. I didn't take too much of her blood. Just enough to know how truly delicious she is."

"I can't believe you would do that." Stefan told his brother, disgusted by what he was hearing and he sat back with his hands tucked under his arms. "And I am even more surprised that you actually didn't drain her completely."

"Well if I did that then there would be no more fun to be had." Damon responded with a chuckle as he tossed a crumbled up napkin into the fire. "I had to leave her alive so I could keep the fun times rolling."

"You are so one dimensional that its not even funny." Stefan scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief. "Do you even care that you could have hurt her? That is if you didn't kill her first?"

"But I didn't kill her now did I?" Damon shot back, smirking mischievously while he tapped his fingers against his chin. "And I won't kill her in the future. At least not purposely."

"You really are a piece of work, you know that?"Stefan couldn't but feel a wave of dislike towards his brother. Damon had no shame when it came to anything he did. He never felt guilt or remorse for the pain he brought down upon people and this time was exactly like all the others. Maybe it was time that he stopped thinking Damon could change. If it hadn't happened by now then it may never and it would do everyone good if he just accepted that. "You only care about your own well being and your own happiness."

"Uh yea, exactly." Damon agreed, laughing at him loudly. "Like you haven't realized that before now."

"I keep hoping that you will change and become a better person but I suppose that is just not possible is it?" Stefan questioned, biting down on his bottom lip and leaned back in chair he was in. "You are not going to change for anyone are you?"

"Nope." Damon shook his head as he answered. "I like how I am and nothing you say will change that."

2 hours later

"Well, don't you look angry this evening." Damon's mischievous voice filling her ears the moment she stepped through the doorway of the living room and threw her jacket and bag on the nearby table. Stefan caught her eye and took it upon him to remove himself from the room right away without even questioning it. He knew her that well and could tell that she was on a mission that had nothing to do with him. So she was grateful when he left her alone with Damon because she didn't want him to be around to witness her anger at it's peak. Elena never wanted Stefan to see that side of her.

"You know what? I'm not even going to yell at you." Elena told him, marching into the room and sitting down calmly in the chair opposite of him in front of the fire and crossed her legs. "Because I have yelled at you before and it is obvious that it doesn't work on you."

"See, you are finally learning." Damon replied, swirling his champagne glass full of blood and grinned. "But I am curious to know how you will express your anger this time since I can guess that it has something to do with my little taste testing from the other night."

"If that's what you want to call it then fine." Elena grumbled, gritting her teeth so hard that her jaw started to hurt. But she held back from her natural instinct of yelling and just gripped the arms of the chair tightly. "But why on earth would you attack Allison and drink her blood?"

"Why not?" He asked, raising his eyebrows as he turned to look at her and took a long sip from his glass. "It was fun."

"Who cares if it was fun, you could have seriously hurt her or worse, killed her." Elena pointed out, resisting the urge to jump up and knock that damn glass out of his hand. "I get that she insulted you but did you have to react like that? Why must you always react like that?"

"Didn't we already establish the fun factor?" Damon smirked, setting his empty glass on the table and intertwined his fingers together on his lap. "But I am assuming that this isn't the only reason you are pissed off at me."

"Oh Damon there are many reasons why I will forever be mad at you." Elena pointed out, rolling her eyes as she knew that this vampire would never be the kind of vampire that Stefan was, but that didn't stop her from trying. "But I am also still mad about the fact that you are refusing to help Allison with the Godric situation."

"I told you and Stefan that group activities are not my thing." Damon protested with an underlining groan as he hunkered down in his chair and crossed his arms. "It doesn't make me an asshole for not wanting to have my time used up on helping a vampire I don't even know."

"I think you are only refusing to do it because you hate that Allison's mind is on a vampire that's not you." Elena retorted, pleased when a dark frown appeared on Damon's features. "But it does make you an asshole because no matter what your reasoning is, you should have taken in to account that this means a lot to her. And you don't even seem to care in the slightest about that."

"I made it very clear that I don't care and I hate repeating myself so don't make me do it." Damon snapped, his eyes turning to slits as he glared at her. "Do you get that yet?"

"I get that you are incapable of caring about anyone other then yourself. I wish that weren't true because I honestly believe that you have a heart somewhere inside of you but you are not going to let it out and your actions show that." Elena mentioned, sighing heavily and she ran her hands through her loose hair before continuing. "You just can't do anything nice even when it would really make a difference in someone's life. And that's just so incredibly sad to me."

"I never said I could do anything nice. So don't expect me to." Damon snapped, getting to his feet with a sneer. "I'm not harboring any goodness inside of me that's waiting to come out. There is no goodness so stop looking for it."

"Yea, whatever you say Damon." Elena muttered, watching as he stomped out of the room and left her alone with her thoughts.

Later that night

"You're back so soon. I wasn't expecting this." Godric said to me when I showed up at the opening of the tunnel that night with my flashlight clutched in my hand and a determined expression that I was sure was written all over my face as I walked towards him and stopped 2 feet away with my arms crossed. "You look upset."

"Not really so much upset as I am frustrated." I replied honestly, rubbing my face with my free hand before I focused on him as best I could in the darkness. "I'm trying to understand what you said to me this morning but truthfully, I think it is a bunch of bullshit."

"I can see why you think that." Godric nodded, his ghostly body pacing back and forth across the length of the corridor. "And I can also see that my silence about it has bothered you."

"Yea it has because it doesn't make sense." I told him, running my fingers through the ends of my long hair as I tried to vocalize what I was feeling not just now, but also what had been with me the entire day. "I mean, you called me here for a reason and that was to help you get out of this tomb. And I told you that I was willing to do whatever it took to make that happen. But when that first option failed, you should have been able to tell me the other way that you knew of. And you didn't. And I'm trying my hardest to understand why."

"I don't mean for this to torment you but I just can't bring myself to tell you what else can be done. It's a heavy burden and I could never think of asking this of you." Godric explained with a forlorn look on his pale, transparent face. "It's an option that I was hoping to avoid."

"I don't care if you think it is a burden. I will do anything that I have to do to get you out of here." I said earnestly, praying that he would just tell me what I was supposed to do already. "It can't be something so terrible that you can't even say what it is."

"To me it is terrible. Because it requires a huge sacrifice on your part and I would never ever ask you to do that just so I could escape this tomb." Godric shook his head stubbornly. "I would rather stay here longer and look for another option rather then have you do this. It's too much."

"Will you just let me decide that?" I snapped, angry tears filling my eyes and they were beginning to fall down my face almost as quickly as they appeared. "Please Godric just tell me what it is and I will do it, no questions asked."

"Your heart is in the right place and I would be taking advantage of your kindness by telling you what I know." Godric sighed as he began backing away into the shadows. "I'm sorry. But I can't do that."

I couldn't even watch as he disappeared from my view because my vision clouded over in tears.

20 minutes later

"I've been waiting for you. Where have you been?" The voice of Damon Salvatore asked as I walked down the empty hallway of my apartment building and saw him leaning against the wall next to my door. He stood up straight as I came closer and I saw him frown when his eyes landed on my face. "You've been crying."

I didn't even bother to deny it because I knew it wouldn't do any good. I had never been great at hiding my emotions and right now I couldn't even attempt to try. I was way too drained emotionally to put up any kind of a buffer. I had barely been able to pull myself together after my talk with Godric long enough to get back in my car and drive away. But I was upset and had to pull over twice when my eyes filled up with tears and distorted my vision. Eventually I was able to keep my frustrations at bay so I could get home and my face dried itself of the tears. I wanted nothing more then to just go inside and fall asleep without any more interactions with people. But that wasn't going to happen with Damon standing outside my door.

"Go away. I don't have the energy to fight with you tonight." I told him, reaching in my pocket for my keys. "I just came back from seeing Godric and it didn't go well and I just want to forget about it."

"What happened?" Damon wanted to know, his usual smug expression no where to be found but he wasn't exactly putting me at ease anyway.

"Oh don't pretend to care. You made it obvious that you don't" I snapped at him, my fingers locking around my keys as I looked up at his face. "Why are you here?"

"It came to my attention that my actions from the other night in the parking lot weren't my most charming and I came here to apologize for that." He said gruffly, sticking his hands in his front pockets and looking uncomfortable. "I'm not good at this apology thing. So can you cut me some slack?"

"Yea ok, whatever. Apology accepted." I waved my hand, not really caring about what had happened between us. "But that doesn't mean that I am going to let go of your refusal to help me. That I can't forgive. Because it really hurt me. More then you biting me did."

"Allison..." He began to say but I cut him off quickly.

"No, it's ok Damon. You don't have to say anything else. I know you don't care about what is important to me so don't force yourself to try and make it right because nothing you say or do will fix it." I shrugged, moving around him to the door and he let me go. I slid my key into the lock and turned the knob so I could step into the door way and turn on the light before I pivoted around to look back at him. "I rescind my invitation to you to enter my house. Good night Damon."

And I shut the door in his face without a second thought.