Title: A Leaf on the Wind
Disclaimer: Violence, language, slash, angst, character death.
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Chapter Fourteen: Change
The numbers on the clocked changed to mark the top of the hour. Six-o-clock and he was sitting outside in his car trying to get up the nerve to go inside. When he'd left the lab Hagen and Frank and Horatio were beginning their interrogation of the prisoner. During the drive to Alexx's house the two of them had a lovely, serious, deep talk about something that had been on his mind the last few days. Turned out that she made some good points. He thanked her, kissing her on the cheek before leaving to pick up Ryan. Wolfe was pacing in his driveway when Delko drove up. The attack on the lab had been all over the news and he wanted nothing more than to be out work. The call from Horatio had been like a godsend to him. They made idle chitchat on the way to the lab. Then proceeded to spend the rest of the day working on DNA, trace, and fingerprints. When Delko left the interrogation was still going strong.
Now he sat outside the ever familiar apartment trying to convince himself that he needed to get out of the car and go upstairs instead of going home. An old lady walked by for the third time, giving him a look that said she didn't trust him. He must have looked suspicious just sitting in his car. Pocketing his car keys he climbed out of the truck and headed for the entrance of the apartment building. Thunder rumbled on the horizon as another thunderstorm prepared to roll through. He hated the pop-up thunderstorms that so frequently hit the state. The elevator moved too fast for his liking. He still wasn't entirely sure that he had the guts to do this. What if he wasn't welcome anymore?
Walking down the hallway with his head hanging down he tried to think of the best way to phrase what he wanted to say. Should he start off the conversation by making small talk or would it be better to blurt out the reason he was there? He reached out to knock on the panel of wood when the door opened. Speed jumped in surprise.
"What are you doing here?" he asked.
Delko tried to find the slightest sign of revulsion or anger in his voice but failed to find either. "I wanted to talk to you about something. Unless of course you're on your way out.."
"I was just going to grab something to eat. We can order in though, makes no difference to me," Speed said, stepping aside to let Delko into the apartment. "However, if you're here to talk about this afternoon don't waste your time. I received quite an earful from Calleigh."
"No, I'm not here to yell at you for that, though it may come up once or twice," admitted Delko as he sat on the couch.
Speed grabbed the phone book. "Pizza or Chinese?"
"What were you going to have?" asked Delko.
"I was going to drive by and see which one smelled better," smiled Speed, reaching for the phone. He glanced at Delko. "Pizza it is than." Delko sat quietly while Speed placed the order. When he hung up the phone he murmured something about it arriving in about an hour. "Now what is it that you want to talk about?"
"Us," replied Delko shortly.
"What about us?" Speed's brow furrowed. His eyes darkened.
"Well, you can't deny the fact that things have changed between us since that night," Delko started off, not strong enough to look Speed in the eye. "And I know that I've been distant since you admitted your feelings and I am aware that that made you feel bad. I apologize for my behavior but I didn't know how to handle the whole thing. Until I drove Alexx home this afternoon."
Speed cocked an eyebrow. He kept his distance, remaining on the arm of an armchair instead of moving to the couch. "What does Alexx have to do with any of this?"
"Horatio had me drive her home this afternoon, for safety reasons I assume. When I went to get her from the morgue we got to talking about you and she mentioned how much I cared about you. She talked about how we're practically glued to each other and that we'd be lost without one another," he said while watching Speed's face for any sort of reaction. "It got me thinking so I told her what you said to me and we talked while driving to her house."
A scowled spread across Speed's face. "So you pretty much ousted me to Alexx without my permission? That's real nice of you, Delko. Thank you."
"You're not listening to me, Timmy." He got up and walked over to him, placing a hand under his chin and tilting his head up until their eyes met. "She made me realize the truth. She's always right and I would be completely lost without you. So many things ran through my mind today when I saw that man holding a gun to your chest. I relived the day you got shot in the jewelry store. I remember every emotion that ran through my body that day. The numb feeling of pain and loss. I remember how my heart stopped when I heard you were being rushed to the hospital. And don't even get me started on the hopelessness that overtook me when I heard that you might not live."
"Delko-"
"When I look back over the last few months, years even, I realized that every relationship I ever had failed because it wasn't right. I was running from the truth out of fear of the unknown. But I'm not going to run anymore. My place is here with you," Delko said, his voice lowering into a whisper. "I love you, Timothy."
Speed stood, brushing Delko's hand from his face. "And you needed someone else to help you see that? You couldn't figure it out for yourself? I've known about these feelings far longer than I care to admit and I never once questioned it. I waited for you to figure out how you felt. Do you have any idea how hard it was to sit by and watch you chase skirts? For so long I wanted you to look at me as more than a friend. And now you are but only because Alexx pointed out how you felt."
Delko didn't say anything in reply. He just gathered Speed in his embrace, pulling him close. He loved how right it felt to be holding Speed close, to have their body's pressed together. He could feel the heat rolling off of Speed, could smell the shampoo in his hair, the soap on his skin. He wanted to kiss him, to leave a mark on him to let the world know he was taken but he was afraid it would be too much too soon. Speed finally wrapped his arms around Delko, resting his head against Delko's shoulder.