Quinn is having mixed emotions after coming back to her dorm and finding Rachel sitting on her bed. At first she was relieved to see the other girl. Quinn has been waiting a week for Rachel to finally talk to her. But at the same time she's afraid of the things that might be said in this conversation. Quinn has no choice but to be completely honest if she wants to keep their relationship in tact. Quinn's not stupid, she knows there has been a shift in their relationship. It's not as honest and pure as it once was. And that's Quinn's fault. She can admit to that.

"Why Santana?" Is the first thing out of Rachel's mouth after they sit in silence for five minutes.

"I...what?" Quinn frowns.

"There are plenty of women, Quinn. So why Santana? Have you always liked her?" Rachel fires off question after question. "I'm trying to understand."

Quinn shrugs. "It just happened. I didn't plan it. I wasn't hanging out with you and fantasizing about your sister, Rachel." Quinn moves to the end of Tina's bed so she's closer to Rachel. "I didn't plan to be with Santana but it happened. Believe me I tried to avoid this at all cost..."

"Avoid what...getting caught?" Rachel glares.

"No. Falling in love with Santana." Quinn breathes out honestly. "I tried so fucking hard not to even look at her anyway but as my best friend kid sister. But then...then we kissed and other stuff happened and before I know it I'm hooked."

Rachel sits quietly as Quinn talks. Shes never heard Quinn talk like this. So passionate.

"I never been jealous in my life but I saw Noah talking to San and I just turned green and we weren't even officially together. I was actually trying to push her away at the time but at the same time I didn't wanna think or see her with anyone else. It was driving me crazy. I didn't know what to do."

"You could have talked to me."

Quinn rolls her eyes. "Yeah right. You would have slapped me as soon as I said I've seen your sister naked."

Rachel's hard exterior breaks and she cracks a small smile. "That's true."

"I told my mom." Quinn admits.

Quinn watches Rachel's eyes snap to her face. Rachel knows how straining Quinn's relationship with her parents is. Far as Rachel last heard Judy and Quinn was doing better but she didn't know they were doing well enough for Quinn to confide in Judy.

"I just...I wasn't ready to tell you. Especially when things were up in the air with Santana and I. So I told my mom."

"She knew when she came to your party?" Quinn nods.

"Yeah. She actually gave me some good advice. She also didn't want me to hurt Santana." Quinn makes eye contact. "I know you think that's what's going to happen. That I'm going to hurt her."

Rachel looks away.

Quinn sighs. "Look...I get it, okay. I...you know me. You know my history with self destruction, you know my track record with girls. You know about...about Hannah." When Quinn's voice cracks, Rachel turns to look back at her best friend. "I know I really fucked that up. I know how I handled that situation was...I could of done better. I should have done better." Quinn lowers her eyes to the floor as memories of her time with Hannah and the bad way they parted comes back.

Flashback

"You are such a bitch!" Hannah screams.

"Hannah..." Quinn puts her head in her hands and sighs before moving to get off the couch. "I don't want a girlfriend. That doesn't make me a bitch."

"No it doesn't." Hannah nods. "You wanting to end things with me after a pregnancy scare makes you a bitch." Quinn ducks out of the way when a bio text book comes flying across the room. "You couldn't wait even a fucking day before telling me you're done using me."

A few days ago Hannah had came to Quinn with her concerns of possibly being pregnant. Quinn had a panic attack for a full five minutes before sort of getting her shit together and talking to Hannah about it. At first she pulled a super jerk move, talking about there was no way, they've only had sex without a condom twice and Quinn wasn't sure if Hannah was having sex with other people so why was Hannah bringing this information to her. Quinn really got her shit together the next second after Hannah slapped her. Quinn had apologized and they made a plan to meet up in a few days and take the test.

Today they met up and went back to Hannah's dorm. All the three test came back negative. And after sighing in relief, Quinn recommended that they ended their arrangement.

"I wasn't using you. Hann...we had an agreement." Quinn argues. "You knew from the start that this was just sex. And...look this is getting to complicated for me. I mean...shit you could have been pregnant. That's...I just can't,okay?"

Hannah just glares. "Fuck you. Get out."

"Hannah, come on. We can still be frie..." Quinn doesn't get to finish the sentence before a hair brushes hits her chest.

"You are such a piece of shit, Quinn! I can't believe I ever liked you! Just get the fuck out! Don't talk to me again! Just fuck off!"

Quinn starts to argue but decides against it. She figures she can smooth things over In few days.

End of flashback

She never got to smooth things over. Hannah ignored all of her text and calls. And the one time she stopped by Hannah's dorm, one of her friends was there and told her to stop trying to contact Hannah, she wants nothing to do with Quinn. Quinn tried for a couple of more weeks but never got a response so she gave up.

She didn't tell Rachel what happened until a few months ago when they bumped into Hannah on campus. She didn't tell Rachel when it happened because she knew Rachel liked Hannah and wanted them two together as a couple and plus the fact that Rachel would be disappointed at the way Quinn acted about the pregnancy scare. It was true that Quinn had been kind of misleading with her intentions sometimes with Hannah. They had went out to places together and did things together besides having sex (couple things)so she could see where Hannah might have got the wrong idea. But she knew she couldn't continue things with Hannah because things like pregnancy scares shouldn't be happening with someone you are just fooling around with. That makes all the more complicated. Quinn was being reckless with how she was having sex and needed to get herself together.

When they saw Hannah on campus she didn't give Rachel her usual greeting, she glared at Quinn and kept on her way. Quinn told Rachel what happened later that night.

"Hannah was a good girl and I fucked that up. I wasn't good to her." Quinn looks back up at her best friend. "Yes I didn't want a relationship with her but the way I went about expressing that was wrong and completely out of line. And I'm sorry about that. I regret how I treated her." Quinn voice gets louder and more clear with her next words. "But Hannah is not Santana. I love her, Rach. I fucking love Santana and it's scary and confusing at times...but shit I can't help it." Quinn face lights up when she talks about Santana. "See...she has me saying all this soft shit."

Quinn can see Rachel's lips twitching but the brunette refuses to give in.

"Come on, Rach. I need my best friend."

Rachel sighs. "I still can't believe you guys lied to me."

Quinn roll her eyes. "You can't tell me that you didn't have any suspensions."

Rachel nods. "I did but...you know best friend and sister. You would think I wouldn't have to play detective. That one of them would inform me of this change in our universe."

"Rachel stop being dramatic." Quinn gets fed up with trying to get Rachel to get over them lying. "It happened and we are honestly, truly sorry."

Rachel humms and just stares at Quinn. "You know it was never about you not being good enough or and me thinking because I know your past that you could be that same way with my sister? I know you, Quinn. I know that you would never intentionally hurt Santana. I know what kind of person you really are." Quinn feels like Rachel is staring into her so. "I was upset because two of the people I hold dearest in this world kept me from something so important and..and life changing in their lives."

Quinn can understand that. Rachel felt left out. Quinn gets that.

"And yea apart of the hurt I felt was from knowing some things will change between us." Quinn opens her mouth to argue but Rachel raises her hand. "But that's okay. It'll have to be okay. As long as you guys are happy, I'm happy." Rachel smiles. "So I guess what I'm saying is that I forgive you for being an asshole."Quinn lets a smile creep onto her face.

"Uhuh don't get too happy you guys are still on probation. No more lying. And no inappropriate jokes while I'm around. I don't want to even think about you two hooking up."

Quinn is up and pulling Rachel into her arms before Rachel can even complete her sentence.

Rachel's squeezes Quinn before pulling back to see her face. "I think we've had enough feelings for the day, don't you?"

Quinn chuckles and pulls completely away. "Text me when you get home?"

Rachel kiss her cheek before leaving.

It's not until a few hours later and two classes worth of homework is done that Quinn calls Santana.

"Hey, Rachel told me she left you alive. Thanks for calling sooner." Santana answers the phone with sarcastic remarks.

Quinn rolls her eyes with a smile. "I had homework and I knew if I would have called you earlier I wouldn't have gotten it done."

"Are you trying to say something, Quinn?"

"Yeah, you're distracting." Quinn smirks.

"Whatever." Santana sighs. "Are you okay?"

"I have my best friend back."

Santana hums. "I've heard."

"Still got my girl."

"You do." Quinn can hear the smile in Santana's voice.

Quinn shrugs even thought Rachel can't see her. "Then I'm all good."

Tbc