Disclaimer: Criminal Minds is owned by CBS. I own nothing but my imagination.
A Different Kind of Life-Chapter 14
It's a Female Thing
**Jane is 16 years old in this chapter**
'Damn' Jane thought to herself. 'This would have to happen today of all days.' Jane was in the bathroom, she had a severe stomach virus and she had spent so much time in there over the past few days that she was contemplating bringing in her pillow and blanket. She had been using the toilet yet again when she saw that she had gotten her period… it two weeks early and she knew that she was out of supplies, in fact she knew she had one tampon in her purse and that was it.
'Crap, what am I going to do?' She thought. She had feminine supplies on her personal shopping list, but school projects and this virus had derailed her trip to Target, not to mention the fact that her illness had caused her period to arrive early.
'I will just have to run to Target tonight.' She decided. In order to do that, she knew she would have to convince her father that she was better. 'Good luck with that,' she told herself. Under normal circumstances her father was overprotective; when she was sick his protective streak went into overdrive. She knew the chances of her father letting her out of the house in the next three days much less tonight were slim to none, but she still had to try.
Jane washed her face, brushed her hair and teeth and got dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt. She added some blush to her face so she didn't look so deathly pale. She looked in the mirror and thought 'not bad' although she was afraid that the sheen of sweat from her fever might give her away. She wiped her face and went out into the living room.
Hotch was sitting on the sofa watching The Simpsons and for the first time in a long time he didn't have a case file in his lap. He looked up when Jane entered the room, she looked terrible. He wondered why she was fully dressed; she hadn't gotten out of her pajamas in the last two days.
"Um, I just need to run to Target for a few things. I'll be back in half an hour or so." Jane said, grabbing her keys from the coffee table.
Hotch just stared at her. "What are you talking about? Has the fever made you crazy? Do you really think I'm going to let you go out like this? You can barely stand upright for god's sake."
"It will just be for a little while dad, I'll be fine." Jane was anything but fine; in fact her stomach was roiling even as she was trying to convince her dad that she was OK.
"There is no way you are leaving this house tonight, Jane. You look terrible! I can tell you still have a fever by the way you are sweating, you are deathly pale and you've been practically living in the bathroom for the last two days." He paused to look at her more in-depth. "What could possibly be so important for you to get that you would go out like this?"
Jane looked at the floor and took a deep breath. "This stupid flu bug has messed up my cycle and I got my period today and I don't have any supplies, I was going to pick them up this week, so I need to go out for a few minutes to get them." Jane spoke very fast and was turning red.
Hotch processed what Jane had told him. "Oh." He said flatly, this was a problem. He thought about the situation at hand and was contemplating actually letting her go out when suddenly her eyes got big; she clamped her hand over her mouth and went running for the bathroom.
He followed her to the bathroom and was about to go in when he heard her heaving. Hotch had seen many awful things on the job and was able to deal with it, but he couldn't stomach it when someone threw up. He was what Jane called a 'sympathetic puker.' He took a deep breath and willed himself to go into the bathroom, that was his daughter and she was sick; she needed someone to comfort her.
Jane had her head in the toilet when she heard her father enter the bathroom. A moment later she felt him rubbing her back as she lost the juice she had drunk ten minutes ago. She finally finished being sick, got up (with her dad's help) and rinsed her mouth. She then headed back to the living room and picked up her keys.
"Well now that I've gotten rid of the juice I drank, I've got about a forty-five minute window before something else happens; I only need half an hour." Jane said to Hotch who had followed her into the living room.
"Sweetie, I can't possibly let you go out like this. You're sick; you're burning up with fever and from the way you were walking, I know you're dizzy as well. Plus you could infect everyone in the store." Hotch was adamant.
"You don't understand, I need these supplies. I can get there and back-" She was interrupted by her dad.
"I'll go out and get them for you." He told her.
"You?!" Jane asked in surprise. "Really? But you won't know what to get."
"Jane, I am an educated person with advanced degrees and I work in one of the most difficult departments in the FBI. I'm sure if you tell me what you need, I can figure it out and get it for you." Hotch said, a bit sarcastically. 'How hard could it be?' He thought to himself.
"Um, ok…I need a pack of thin Always, make sure they are the super ones with wings. Do you want me to write this down?" Jane was turning red again.
"Nope, I think I've got it. Thin Always, super with wings. Will you be alright by yourself while I'm gone?" He asked her.
"I should be OK, I think I'm going to take a shower."
"Don't make the shower too hot, you don't want to make your fever worse." Hotch warned her.
"I won't…and thanks dad." Jane knew this was a big thing for him…it was a big thing for any guy to do.
**********
Hotch made his way to the local Target. He really didn't want to do this, but he couldn't allow his sick daughter to go out. He realized that so far he had lucked out in the "girl stuff" department with Jane; Haley had been alive to give Jane the early sex talk and the talk about her 'changing body' and she had been staying with Garcia when she had gotten her first period. Hotch realized that he still needed to have a more in-depth discussion about sex with her, but he knew that could wait a little longer. This was really the first time he had deal with any 'female issues' of Jane's.
He got to Target, parked his car and walked in. He realized that he didn't know where the feminine items were, but there was no way he was going to ask anyone where it was. He guessed that it would be near the make-up and other mainly female items, he wasn't wrong.
He found the aisle he was looking for and stood in the middle of it looking at the shelves in wonder and confusion, there were so many choices! He spent a few minutes just staring at the supplies on the shelves, wondering where to even begin. He found a package that said Always on it, but then the package next to it said comparable to Always. Which one should he get? There were numerous packages that said super and thin and wings, but he wasn't sure if it was the right brand. It was like all of the colors on the shelves and all of the choices had made him suddenly go stupid! He stood there for another few minutes, examining different packages and slowly turning red with embarrassment when he looked down at the end of the aisle to see a couple of teenage girls laughing at him. Screw this! He went back to the entrance and got a cart, went back to aisle 8A and started loading the cart up. Hotch knew from Haley that women were loyal to their brand and types of products and he would rather get way too many supplies for Jane rather than the wrong kind. He put one of just about each package in the cart and hoped that one of them was what Jane wanted and made his way to the front of the store.
Thankfully the lines weren't long since he had gotten a couple of weird looks with his cart full of feminine products. When he got to the front of the line the cashier was a sweet, middle aged lady. She looked at him sympathetically.
"Doing some shopping for your wife?" She asked him.
"My sixteen year old daughter actually, she's home sick with the flu." He explained.
"Aw, you're a good dad to be doing this for her. Let me guess, she told you what to get, but you couldn't figure it out once you got here?"
"That's right, I figured better safe than sorry, which is why I have a cart full of items." He smiled.
His smile didn't last long once he got the total bill, it was well over a hundred dollars! He had no idea these products were so expensive and he made a mental note to increase Jane's allowance so he could help her pay for them.
**********
As soon as her father left, Jane took her shower. 'Well that couldn't have been more embarrassing,' she thought as she stood under the lukewarm water. She couldn't believe that she had to talk to her dad about her period! This was one of those times that she really missed her mom.
She stepped out of the shower twenty minutes later and got into bed. It was only nine o'clock, but she was feeling really tired and sick. She dozed for a little while and then woke up when she heard thunder. She looked at the clock and saw that it was nine-thirty and she wondered what was taking her dad so long at the store. Just as she was thinking that, she heard his car pull into the garage and minutes later there was a knock on her door.
"Jane, are you asleep?" Her dad asked.
Jane sat up in bed and turned on her bedside light. "I'm awake dad, you can come in."
Hotch came in bearing four shopping bags full of feminine products. "Jeez dad, I only needed one box! Did you buy out the store?" Jane was shocked by how much he had gotten, she didn't know where she was going to keep it all.
"Pretty much. I know you explained what you needed, but when I got there all of the products started confusing me and I couldn't figure out what to get. I thought if I got a bunch of them, chances are the product you want will be in here." He told her, sheepishly.
He set the bags down by her closet door and took a good look at her. She was both pale and bright with fever at the same time and she looked miserable.
"How are you feeling, sweetie? Is your period making things worse?" He asked her. He didn't really want to discuss her period with her, but he wanted her to feel comfortable talking to him about anything. Plus he wanted to make sure she was really all right.
"Well, I haven't gotten sick since you left, but the cramps aren't helping any." She told him.
"Your mom used to take ibuprofen for her cramps. Do you want me to get you some?" He asked her.
"I'm way ahead of you, I took some just after you left." Jane could feel herself blushing, this whole conversation she was having with her dad was surreal.
Hotch saw Jane's reaction and knew that he had to say something. "Jane, I know this has been embarrassing for you, believe me it hasn't been a picnic in the park for me either, but I'm your father and I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything, even girl stuff, OK?"
"Ok dad." Jane said with a small smile. "All I really want to do now is go to bed."
"Well don't let me stop you." Hotch said as he helped her lay down in her bed.
"I'm going to work from home tomorrow so I can take care of you and if you are still sick on Tuesday, Penelope said she would stay with you, OK?" He told her this as he was tucking her in. He normally didn't tuck her in anymore, but she looked so pathetic and sick tonight and he just couldn't resist. He knew that she was sicker than she let on when she didn't fight him on it.
"That's fine. Goodnight dad." Jane said as Hotch turned off her bedside lamp.
"Goodnight, feel better sweetie." He said as he gently shut the door behind him.
**
Of course my muse has hit me while I'm supposed to be writing papers for school. Oh well, that's what all-nighters are for.
I wrote this chapter because I figured as a single father of a daughter, Hotch was eventually going to run into a situation like this. It made me laugh to imagine a big, bad profiler being intimidated by the feminine product aisle. I know guys who run into burning buildings for a living, yet when they have to pick up tampons for their wives or daughters, they are struck stupid and are cowards about doing it.
Reviews are appreciated!