Jeez Louise, I do love me some Seth.

Chapter Thirteen

It took Leah three weeks before she got up the courage to go get some of her stuff from his house. She still couldn't think his name without flinching.

Not that she let anyone else see.

On the first day, she walked into her kitchen, with four pairs of eyes on her, everyone's face showing a different emotion. Harry's, confirmation, Emily looked sad yet supportive, her mother looked speculative, and Seth looked like he had just woken up, which was probably the case.

"I hope you didn't paint my room." Was all that she said to her mom. "Because your favorite color is orange, which I hate, almost as much as I hate painting."

And they set up all of her stuff that she still had at home, which consisted of a dresser, and her bed with it's old sheets.

The couple of posters she had pinned up had been thrown away, and the rest of her stuff was…elsewhere.

Sue had known better then to try and get Leah to open up while they moved her things in from the garage.

Harry only pat her on the back.

Emily however, had given her a hug. "I'm so sorry Lee-lee." She whispered. Not noticing how Leah had frozen at the use of her old nickname.

That night she sat on her bed, once again not crying, but shaking. So hard her whole frame was clattering, that her teeth were chinking against one another. She felt like she was literally falling apart. Like her bone was disconnecting from muscle, piercing out from her skin. She felt like she just might be dying.

But she would not cry, she was not going to talk about it to anyone, because she was fine. Or she would be. Or she would pretend to be.

Even if her pretending came off to be sort of angry, that was much better then crushed any day.

But, eventually, she admitted, she would have to go over to his house. To get her clothes.

She didn't want anything else, she didn't want any of their temporary crappy furniture they had shopped for, none of the plates, none of the pictures, especially not the ones of him and her.

She only had one thing that connected her thoughts directly to him, and that was in a small box between her bed frame and mattress.

She and Seth, who actually offered to help, drove he dad's truck over to the house. They already had a couple of boxes, and she knew, down to the sock, everything she wanted to get, it was going to be an easy in easy out trip.

He was going to be at work anyway, they wouldn't even see him.

They went straight to her old room, she held her breath, trying to keep any memories at bay. They just hurt too much to completely cover up.

Leah ripped down the three articles of clothing that she was not planning on bringing home with her, all were things that he had given her, and she didn't want them anymore.

Seth started by emptying her clothes from the dresser, and Leah from the closest.

The whole time Leah held her breath, waiting, expecting to hear his footsteps, the front door open, that for some reason, some out-of-the-blue one-in-a-million chance reason he had come home from work early.

But they didn't hear him in the room, they made it through packing and bringing the first load of boxes out to the car. They made it back into the house, picked up the second load and almost made it to the step outside the house before they saw him.

"Oh." Was all Sam said, looking surprised to see them.

Both Seth and Leah's heads snapped up, like they had been yanked by a string. Each of them had shocked expressions, but only Leah's had that extra…look behind her eyes. The one that only people who knew her well, knew spelled out sadness.

One that Sam himself could decipher

"Hello." Sam said, finally breaking the silence.

Leah felt like someone had literally hit her in the chest. Like she couldn't breathe. All she wanted to do was put her arms around Sam, and make things better…but she only bit down on the inside of her cheek. Thoughts like that would get her in trouble. Nothing was going to change back, she may as well get used to it.

"Hi." She said shortly, feeling like just saying that simple little word was going to kill her.

They all stood there a couple of seconds not saying anything.

"So…how have you been." It sounded lame, even to him.

"Fine." She wasn't looking at him, only at the box in front of her.

She shifted her weight, the box seemed to be getting heavier the longer she stood there.

"Can I help you or something?" Sam said, finally realizing what they were doing.

Leah and Sam had talked about moving out, but they had always thought they would be doing it together, and in one week. Off to college.

"No. It's fine, I've got it." Her voice was flat and her face pretty much the same.

Sam finally looked at her, and barely recognized her at all. Leah had always kept a close guard on her emotions, but there was no doubt she had them. To someone who didn't know Leah before, if they saw her now she looked heartless, she looked…dead.

More silence.

Seth lamely muttered something about one more box, and went in the house.

Leah walked down the stairs, the whole time avoiding Sam's face. She threw her box in the trunk and made to go over to the driver seat when Sam stepped into her path.

"Please Leah, will you at least talk to me. I feel…so terrible for what happened. For what I did. But can't we at least…talk?" He knew he should leave her alone, that he owed her that, but he had to try and fix it, to somehow make it better.

"I…no. We can't. I don't know what more you want me to say Sam." She forced his name out to show him how nonchalant she could be, how she was unaffected by him.

"I think you made your feelings pretty clear, and the only one I have is that I don't want to talk to you."

"But…"

"Get out of my way." She said, her face looking desperate. It was as if something was about to spill out, like everything she was trying to control was about to break.

"Hey," Seth said stepping between Sam and Leah. "Sam can I talk to you?"

And Sam had to hand it to the kid that barely made it to his chin, for looking so pissed off at him, and not at all worried at the consequences.

Leah looked back at the ground and stepped in the truck. Her eyes focused on the steering wheel in front of her, she held on to it like it was a lifeline, but other then that nothing could actually be discerned from her face.

"Listen dude," Seth said, literally getting up in Sam's face. "I know you're 'bigger' then me or whatever. But I am not afraid of trying to kick you ass if you don't back off."

"I was only trying to help…" Sam said, realizing that everything that had come out of his mouth since the party made him sound like a total asshole.

"Well you can stop, anytime, seriously." Seth said, flatly. "Because I think it's like, literally killing her to be here right now. Not that she's actually show that, but well, that's really all your fault, so you can't help. You can only spit in the friggin' hole you already dug." He finished with crossing his arms.

"Right." Sam said weakly, because everything Seth said was right.

"And don't come around the house."

"Seriously, Seth, you don't need to threaten me, I get it…"

"No." Seth said, as he walked back to the truck's passenger side. "That was me helping you, because I think my mother might literally shoot you."

And Sam had no doubt that she would.

It wasn't very surprising to Seth that Leah didn't say anything on the drive home, or the rest of the day for that matter.

It wasn't until that night, when she was alone, that she let some of it wash over.

She would have to work on it harder, she thought, controlling herself. Because she had almost broke down, standing there with him.

She had almost let him see, to the full extent, what he had done to her. Which was the one thing she had promised herself wouldn't happen.

But now, she could allow herself a little of it, not crying of course, but something. She thought of him, how he looked, and how some of it was strange. Like the way he acted before, when they were…well the way he acted before.

He didn't have his shirt on, and he was coming out of the woods. Even though Leah's foggy eyes she could see he was tired. Like he had been up for weeks straight.

And if he was coming out of the woods, it meant he was not at work, which would mean he was where…?

But Leah pulled her thoughts in, and tucked them under that new black stone in her heart, the place that nobody, ever again, would reach.