Fusion

A/N: Inspired by this beautiful piece of artwork. fav . me / d9flpjy (remove the spaces b/c FFN hates links)

Sirius stood looking up at the stars while the cold spring air materialized before him. The sky was clear tonight, and Sirius couldn't decide if it was a blessing or a curse that he could see into the night sky. His mind spun with the news, and part of him wanted to collapse while part of him was cold and unfeeling and Sirius felt like a right prick for his emotions surrounding it all. This sort of news was meant to devastate people; but Sirius had to admit amid his anger at his family and the ache in his chest, a small part of him was relieved. And that was probably the worst feeling to have. Merlin, he was fucked up!

It was all so stupid!

He shouldn't have been surprised, really. His parents and family hadn't spoken to him since he finished school. He should feel lucky he found out about Reg's death period, even if it was months after the fact. This was the final dig his horrid parents could give, the greatest insult, to leave absolutely no doubt in his mind that he had no family with them.

Why had he quit smoking again?

It was Dumbledore who thought he should know. A source, as the old man had put it, found out that Reg had gone missing. It was more or less accepted by the Death Eaters that one of the Order had offed him, or that he committed suicide - though his parents insisted that Voldemort himself had killed Reg. Sirius shook his head. Leave it to those idiots to try and pull one last drop of pureblood station from their dead son.

Their same unfeeling blood runs through you, he reminded himself, and Sirius felt his chest cramp.

A pop sounded behind him and Sirius didn't bother to turn. Her scent filled the air as she approached, a mix of leather jackets and whatever you'd call the scent of soap she used. This was home, well a part of it. Then she slipped her hand into his back pocket and he was really home. Home was Marlene, her presence, her touch. She let him think for a brief moment that maybe he wasn't one of them. Maybe he had changed. Marlene and Marlene alone could quiet the self-loathing that threatened to consume him regularly. There were times where she couldn't certainly, but she was the only one who could, and Sirius was happy for any reprieve.

They stood, his hands jammed in his leather jacket, her hand jammed in the back pocket of his jeans, for what felt like hours before Sirius felt like he could speak.

"Reg is dead," Sirius wasn't surprised at how his voice didn't sound like his own.

Marls moved her hand to snake around his waist, "When?"

"Last year at some point," The words spilled casually from his lips but they seemed to slice through his chest as he spoke them and Sirius pulled in a shuddering breath.

Marlene pulled him closer and Sirius stared up again, quickly finding what he'd been watching all night.

"It wasn't any of us. My lovely parents insist it was old Voldy-shorts himself. If that's true I'll eat my wand." He scoffed.

Marlene moved her hand again to start drawing patterns on his back. She told him once she was writing in script, but he could never decipher what she was writing.

"He, he was eighteen." Sirius swallowed hard. "Merlin, Marls, eighteen..." He drifted off.

"I'm sorry," Marlene rested her head on his arm.

"I'm not. Now I don't have to worry about being the one who kills him." Sirius hated himself for admitting it, but hating himself was nothing new.

"I hadn't thought about that," her voice grew stricken. "You never mentioned that was a concern you had."

Sirius' shoulders slouched and he pushed his hands deeper into his jacket pockets. "Yeah, well, I didn't want my loyalties questioned. I am a Black, Marls. Just because you lot have forgotten doesn't mean anyone else hasn't."

"Anyone who does can fuck off," she grunted.

Sirius smiled, he loved the fierceness of this slight creature beside him. "If they assumed I didn't care about killing my brother, then they could assume my loyalty was in the right spot."

Marlene huffed, "You shouldn't have had to hide that. And you certainly didn't need to hide it from me." She moved her hand from his back to clutch his arm.

"Old habits die hard, love," Sirius sighed heavily, and Marlene nodded against him.

It grew silent again, the darkness enveloping them deeper into the night. Sirius' back was starting to ache by the time Marls spoke again.

"I'm glad you found out in the spring," she looked up with him. "It's brightest in the spring."

He nodded, unsure if his voice could manage a response.

"Before," Sirius fought back the lump in his throat, taking a deep breath. "Before he chose them, I used to think that there was some meaning or foreshadowing that Reg's star is in the Lion constellation." His body shook with his bitter chuckle. "I used to hope it meant that he would be in Gryffindor after I was sorted there. Then he was sorted as a snake and I convinced myself that it meant he had a good heart and that he'd turn it all around. That maybe he'd contact me and ask for a way out, for help. I tried to convince him to come with me to the Potter's when I left. I told him Mia would take him in, would show him what a real family looked like. Damn idiot just kept telling me I needed to stay." He shook his head and gave a hollow laugh. "Stupid really - to hope all that - none of it was true."

Marlene chuckled, throwing Sirius off and he looked down at her confused.

"Well, Reg's name may not have been a foreshadowing, but Merlin, Sirius, yours sure as hell was!" She gave him a small smile and Sirius heard himself laugh. It was strange, to laugh right now. But she made a good point, and Sirius was never the man to deny anyone a laugh, especially Marls.

"You're still bright," she said turning to find his star. "Not as bright as at the end of winter, but you're still the easiest to find."

Sighing Sirius turned with her, looking wistfully up at the shinning orb that gave him his name. There had been nights where he cursed that star, nights where he wished he could pluck it from the sky and destroy it. But since Marls had come into his life, it had started to become more of a friend than a foe. Marlene sought out his star frequently and Sirius' association of the star with his parents was slowly being replaced with Marlene's fascination with it.

"Meet me there when this is all over," he snaked his arms around Marlene's waist.

"At your star?" She laughed as she leaned back into him.

"I want to see it, and that'll be the easiest place to find when we're dead. Just go to the brightest light you can find."

"You'd better not stand me up, Black." She pulled her hair over her shoulder and tilted her neck in invitation.

"Never, McKinnon" he placed a long kiss against her neck, grinning smugly when she melted against him.