A/N: Inspiration has finally struck again! Yay!
Chapter Fourteen
Something was wrong. Sirius may have been gone for two years, he may not have seen his god-son on many occasions before that, but he still knew something wasn't right. He said nothing aloud, keeping his suspicions to himself. After all, just because he thought something was wrong didn't mean he knew exactly what was wrong.
The others seemed completely satisfied. Harry was awake. Harry was smiling. Harry was cheerful, acting as if nothing had happened. After the gloom and stress his collapse had caused, everyone wanted to believe it. Sirius wanted to believe it.
But Harry's smiles didn't reach his eyes. Even shielded by his glasses, Sirius could see an edge, a tinge of something that had never been there. His cheerfulness wasn't forced, but to Sirius, it felt like an actor of a well-rehearsed part. The laughter rang fake in his ears. Harry would pull away from his friends when they hugged him, or even just tossed an arm around his shoulders. He'd take a step closer to Malfoy, wave away any concern, and twine his fingers with the boy's in a display of affection that had been more discrete before his week-long sleep.
Several days after Harry woke, Sirius discovered he wasn't the only one who noticed. Charlie moved to stand next to him at the kitchen counter, arms crossed and smiling lightly as he watched Harry eating breakfast with the others. "Doesn't it feel like you're looking for the differences?" he asked, reaching up to brush a few stray strands of red hair from his brow.
Sirius glanced over at him, then back to the boisterous group at the table, lifting a spoonful of cereal to his mouth and chewing thoughtfully. "What are you talking about?" he finally muttered.
Charlie waved absently to Harry. "That," he answered shortly. "It's like holding two pictures and trying to pick out everything that's different between them. Something doesn't fit here, but I can't quite put that little red circle around it."
"You too?" Sirius asked, frowning as he took another bite, then set the bowl down. It was getting soggy anyway. "No one else acts like they can see it."
Charlie turned, motioning for Sirius to follow him. He lead the other man through the kitchen doors and up the stairs to Sirius' room, then he crossed to the bed and flopped down. "They're all too close to him," Charlie observed crossing his arms behind his head to glare up at the ceiling. "I think it's because we're outsiders that we can see it."
Sirius opened his mouth to agree, but was interrupted by a knock. "Come in," he said brusquely and leaned against the edge of his desk. He may not use it for work but the heavy old wood served its purpose now as it always had, a bench.
The door opened silently, just enough to admit Remus, who closed it behind. "I'm sorry to intrude," he apologized, trying to brush wrinkles from his worn robes. "But I heard you, Charlie, and I think you're right." He looked up, meeting Sirius' eyes with an unusually direct gaze. "I think something is wrong with Harry."
Later that night, Sirius stood behind the counter at the store, chewing his nail between purchases. He, Charlie, and Remus had spent a full hour discussing Harry and his behavior since awakening, but hadn't come up with any solutions. It might have helped if they'd been able to pinpoint the problem, but that had proved a task easier said than done. The vague sense that it wasn't right was all they had to go on, so they'd agreed to watch the boy, hoping to find the proof they needed.
Sirius had herded them from his room then, using his need to get ready for work as an excuse. He'd showed up nearly three hours early just to maintain the lie. Otherwise, Charlie at least may have suspected the real reason Sirius needed them to leave. Thanks to his worried pacing, Remus' scent had just about taken over his room, that soft mix of chocolate and dirt that made Sirius' head spin and his hands ache to hold the werewolf. He only had so much control.
He looked up when the bell rang over the door, indicating that a customer had walked in, and rolled his eyes. He could only just see the top of the woman's head, but that shockingly purple hair was a dead giveaway. He didn't need the "Wotcher, Steven!" to know he'd been blessed with yet another visit from his cousin.
For the next thirty minutes, Sirius listened to her chatter with half an ear as he alternated between restocking the chocolates and cigarettes and ringing up the odd customer. That didn't keep him busy for long though and eventually he found himself standing behind the counter with nothing to do but watch the girl pace back and forth between the chips and chocolate.
It was then that he started to notice things, small actions that raised his curiosity and made him wonder if she wasn't here for something other than to talk his ear off. Little nervous twitching movements her fingers made, and giggles that were more high pitched than usual. The girl was definitely agitated. "What's wrong?" he asked roughly. The way his luck had been running lately, the chit wouldn't mention a thing unless he said something first.
Tonks tried to laugh lightly, but Sirius could hear the strain in the sound. "It's just..." she paused for a moment as if trying to find the right words. "It's Remus' 'time of the month', you know," she said, moving her fingers in small quote marks before motioning to the full moon hanging low in the sky outside the glass doors of the store. She shook her head and Sirius tried not to be surprised when the purple shifted to a deep red with the movement. "I can't stand being around the house then," Tonks moaned and resumed her pacing, fingering the ends of her hair.
Sirius kept his face straight and it took more of his self-control than he'd ever admit not to blast the girl. These few days of the month when Remus transformed at nights had always been so difficult for him. His pain, the strain and stress of the transformation, the intense loneliness he endured each night of the full moon, were what made James and Sirius work so hard to become animagi, so that even if only for a little while, Remus wouldn't have to suffer alone. If Remus was still his, Sirius would never leave him on his own now!
"I can't take the sound of his pain!" Tonk's voice interrupted his thoughts and Sirius was slightly mollified by the genuine sorrow he heard. "And when he's locked up in that room, all alone, even with the potion, he makes just the most dreadful howls. It could bring you to tears," she finished with a sigh and her hair shimmered into a dark midnight blue.
Before he had the chance to even roll his eyes at his cousin's dramatics, she plopped a chocolate bar down on the counter in the same manner an alcoholic might slap his hand for another drink, asking, "Gimme this one, will you?" Then, without waiting for him to finish ringing it up, Tonks jumped up on the counter and started munching. "Mm," she breathed. "This just makes everything feel a bit better," she confessed.
Sirius did roll his eyes then. It was such a girl thing to say. A piece of chocolate didn't help matters at all, unless you were facing off against a dementor if Remus was to be believed. "How wonderful for you," he finally said dryly . "Now if you've finished with your useless prattling, perhaps you could see clear to getting off my counter before another customer comes in?"
Tonks laughed at him but jumped down anyway. "It's well after midnight, 'Steven'. I doubt you'll get too many now," she pointed out and took another bite of her chocolate.
Sirius shrugged. "I might," he responded with ill humor. There were always a couple of teens, hyped with the buzz of alcohol and the thrill of being out past curfew, who insisted on buying an odd assortment of snacks, cigarettes, and flavored condoms in the wee hours of the morning.
Tonks nodded absently and started pacing again, stopping only once to buy another chocolate bar. It was on the tip of his tongue to order her back on the counter when she suddenly spun, facing him as if just coming to a decision. "Sirius, I need to tell you something," she informed him.
Sirius took in her straight back, the fists clenched at her sides, and her hair- bright green and standing straight up- and decided he really didn't want to know. "Why me?" he asked before she got the chance to say anything else.
"I have to tell someone, duh," Tonks grinned. "And you're the only one I've been talking to with any regularity lately. Except Charlie," her face darkened for a moment as she thought of the red-head and Sirius thought he saw her stick out her tongue briefly and smiled. She was not thinking happy thoughts, something Charlie wouldn't appreciate overmuch. "I think I'm pregnant."
The words stopped his brain mid-process. His smile froze on his face and Sirius stared unblinkingly across the counter at his cousin. She was biting the corner of her lip nervously, her hands twisting and wringing together and her cheeks flushed.
Outwardly, he appeared the perfection of utter calmness. Inside, however, Sirius exploded. He couldn't have heard her right. There was no way! To have heard her right meant that Remus, his Remus, had ...had...! He couldn't even finish the thought! The darkness that had lain dormant since Harry's collapse came back to life, roaring with a strange mixture of fury and disbelief, ordering him to do something, anything, burning in his chest so that he had to work to keep his breathing even.
She didn't know. Tonks had no idea what had happened between Sirius and the werewolf during those lazy school years, or the few short years after graduation, or those stolen moments before his flight through the veil. She couldn't possibly realize what effect her words were having on him. So he fought to maintain his calm facade, if only to protect the girl from damage his unleashed wrath may inflict. After all, it was entirely possible that there was a part of Remus in her, and Sirius would die before harming that.
Slowly, he realized a small hand was waving across his face, begging for his attention. "Alright there mate?" Tonks asked, leaning with her other hand against the counter. She waited for Sirius to nod, obviously unaware that she had just shattered his world. "Good, because I need your help, Sirius. What should I do?"
A/N: And that's all. You know, I've been trying for days to figure out how to end this chappie. Tell me what you think, yeah? (By the way, I'm laughing evilly right now because my friend, who I'm writing this for, just found out what I did. She's pissed. Hee!) Ok, thanks to: cyiusblack, muumuu122, Rhea1305, Anastasia Snape, PottersLittleSister, Soubi-and-Ritsuka-are-ADORABLE (x13) and OrichalcumRose for the reviews. Also, I think there may be another, but the site's being all screwy right now so I can't be sure. If so, thanks also! If not, well, thanks for reading. *shrug*