"Hey, Bella," Jane called out to me as I clocked in for my morning shift. "Marcus wants to see you in his office when you get the chance."
"Am I…did I do something wrong?" I asked while trying to tie the strings of my apron. Every day I tried and every day I failed. Eventually they would just hang loose.
"No."
"Okay. Well, then, do you know what it's about?" I tried instead.
"Yes."
"And you're not going to tell me?" I assumed.
"No."
I huffed with annoyance. "I'm going to talk to him now. If he's going to fire me, I'd rather him do it before I gave him my time."
"You're not getting fired, Bella," Jane finally replied with more than one word.
With a final huff, I waddled my way towards the steps leading to the office and slowly heaved myself up said steps with one hand clutching the railing and the other pressed against the wall. I had to be getting fired. There was no other explanation of the torture of climbing the metal mountain while I was carrying two boulders in my belly.
I knocked tentatively on the office door when I saw that Marcus wasn't alone. The stranger turned his head at the sound that disturbed their conversation.
Holy hell!
I stared wide-eyed and silently. He was absolutely gorgeous. Dirty blond hair sat atop a heart shaped-face with the most enticing hazel eyes. His lips were pouty and deliciously kissable. A sexy amount of stubble coated his strong jaw that led to his imperfectly manly nose. And Lord help me, his muscular arms were a sight to behold all on their own.
Was it hot in here or was it just him?
"Hey, Bella!" Marcus greeted me. "Come in," he instructed. I watched as the visitor stood while I further entered the small room. "Bella, this is Cauis. He's an independent accountant who we brought in to better organize our books."
I eagerly grabbed his outstretched hand and could feel heat warming my cheeks when I felt his hand in mine.
"Lovely to me you, Bella," he responded with a light English accent.
Well, fuck…me! Please.
"You, too. Thanks." I felt stupid just talking to him so before I said something that proved my feelings correct, I turned back to Marcus. "Jane said that you needed to speak with me."
"Yeah." He turned to Cauis. "We'll finish speaking later, okay? Jane can show you around in the meantime."
"Not a problem." He shook Marcus' hand. "Bella." Why did it sound like he moaned my name? I was losing it. Again, he offered me his hand and again I had to stop myself from snatching his. "It was a pleasure." Very slowly and very delicately his placed a soft kiss on the back of my hand.
A whimper. I definitely whimpered. I was also not surprised to find that he had a beautifully plump ass. I was not ashamed to admit I watched him walk away.
"Have a seat," he encouraged with a smirk on his face. I had no shame. I was a young, horny, and very pregnant.
"So how's the pregnancy coming along?" Marcus asked, making futile small talk. I didn't make the arduous trek up those forsaken steps for small talk.
"It's…moving along quickly," I answered, playing along. "I go on maternity leave in a few weeks," I reminded him.
"About two and a half, right?" I nodded affirmatively. "I actually wanted to talk to you about that."
"Okay," I responded defensively as I sat up straighter in my chair. He was the store manager so I was assuming that he knew there were laws protecting me. If he was going to prevent me from taking my leave.
"Don't look at me like that, Bella," he scoffed. "I'm not firing you or anything. The opposite, in fact."
"What?" Now he really had my attention.
"Have you spoken with Jane?"
At that I had to roll my eyes. It was like a conspiracy between them. "I tried, but she wouldn't tell me anything. She told me to talk to you so here I am. Now talk to me."
He chuckled lightly, shaking his head. "That girl. She puts up this hard front, but I know that she's a softy inside."
"Not to be rude while you're having your Jane moment, but what does any of this have to do with me and my maternity leave?"
There was a long sigh. "Long story short, Jane is leaving us to get married. We need a replacement and she suggested you."
"What?" I asked again. Nothing about where this conversation was going was making sense.
"I guess this is going to be a long story," he laughed. "Jane came to me a few days ago and informed me that at some point she would be resigning. Her fiancé will be transferring to New Mexico for work, but it wouldn't be for another two months. Needless to say, Jane will be going with him and that's where you come in. Consider this," he said, pointing between the both of us, "me offering you her position if you'd like it."
"But Jane's assistant store manager," I clarified for Marcus, the general store manager – the man who actually hired Jane.
"Yes, I am aware of that," he responded slowly, as if I was daft. In his defense, I was acting like it.
"But why me?"
"Why not you?" he countered.
"What about Shelly? She's been here longer than I have." Why was I fighting this? Marcus was trying to promote me and I was giving him a hard time.
"Yes, but she's only part time. She doesn't want to commit all her time to work. She wants to spend time with her grandkids and her husband just recently retired." He leaned forward and placed his elbows on his desk. "The truth of the matter, Bella, is that after Jane, you're the best person for the job. You know the customers and they love you. You can ring, stack, inventory, and whatever else your job entails. I actually wouldn't be surprised if you didn't need much training. I think you're the right person to take over."
I was absolutely speechless. I knew I did a good job and worked hard. I never did it for praise, obviously, but it was nice to know that my work was noticed and appreciated. I was never under the impression that I was providing some great service to the community, like Edward, but I liked my job and the recognition filled me with pride.
"I want you to think about this before you give me an answer, Bella," he continued. "It is a promotion, which means more money, but it also means more responsibilities and more hours. Really consider whether it's something you can handle along with being a new mother. Now don't get me wrong, I think you're more than qualified for it, but I also don't want you to take on more than you can handle."
"What about my maternity leave?"
"That'll stay the same. If you decide to take the position, you're training wouldn't start until after you come back. It was something that I discussed with Jane. If it came to it, she's willing to stay behind for a few weeks to complete your training."
"Wow," was all I could come up with after a minute of digesting everything he told me. I was…honored and most likely going to accept the position. More money was something I was definitely going to need. I just needed to figure out childcare, but that was going to be an issue no matter how many hours I worked.
"Don't give me an answer today. Go home tonight and think about it. You can let me know tomorrow or sometime this week."
I nodded and slowly began lifting myself off the seat. "Thank you, Marcus. This is…" I shook my head slowly as I could feel my emotions taking hold. "Thank you," I croaked.
"Please don't cry, Bella," he laughed. "My wife would kill me if she found out I made a pregnant woman cry."
…..
The rest of the day wore on along with my energy. I found myself needing to take frequent breaks. It was either my feet aching or my back. Maternity leave couldn't come quick enough.
"Is this seat taken?" Cauis asked when he found me sitting outside. A looked up at him and noticed one slight dimple, not as deep as Emmett's, on his right cheek.
Jesus, this guy was seriously good looking. I felt embarrassed to just be looking at him.
"Um…no. Go ahead."
"Thanks." I watched, unabashedly, the graceful way he moved his body to sit next to me. "I'm Cauis…in case you didn't remember my name," he chuckled.
I felt like a teenager whose crush finally acknowledged her. Biting my lip, I gave him a small smile. "I remembered. I'm Bella."
"I remembered." His smile was beautiful.
The silence was a bit awkward. We were two strangers sitting together – one incredibly handsome and one ready to pop.
"So how are things going?" I finally asked. It seemed like a waste to sit here with him and let the time go by without getting to know him.
"Quite good, thanks." There was a pause. "Actually, Bella, it's a bloody mess," he laughed. I laughed with him. "For a store manager, Marcus isn't very good with record keeping and organizing. Fortunately, he's a good man who does seem to be trying."
I held my aching belly as I laughed. Marcus was a terrible bookkeeper, but somehow he was good at what he did.
"Ow," I laughed out. "I think the babies agree with you. They keep kicking."
"Would it be terribly inappropriate if I asked to feel?" he asked shyly.
Probably, but I agreed. I don't know what the hell made me do it, but before over thinking it, I grabbed his perfectly manicured hand and placed it where the kicks felt most prominent.
"Oh, wow. I felt it!" His excitement made me excited.
"Cool, huh?"
"Very." He slowly pulled his hand away, grazing my side on the way. "I don't mean to be nosey, but I couldn't help but notice that you aren't wearing a ring. Are you and the father not married?"
I looked at my bare left ring finger. There would probably never be a ring on it – no one liked it.
"I'm sorry, that was too personal," he backtracked.
"No. No. It's just…complicated, I guess."
He nodded in understanding. "I hope everything works out the way it should." He sighed wistfully. "I've always found pregnant women to be outstandingly beautiful and strong. My mum was a single mother when she was pregnant with my sister." This time he sighed sadly. "Then my sister found herself pregnant and single at seventeen."
"Oh, no. I'm sorry. I'm assuming the father didn't stick around."
"Don't be. Everything's fine now. Austin, the boy that impregnated my sister, talked a big game and convinced her that he would be a brilliant father. Sadly, that was not the case. He moved on to the next pretty girl when my sister was just five months along."
"So…how did she do it?" I asked curiously. I was more than just curious. I needed to know that if someone who was in a similar situation could do it, so could I.
"Well, my family is very close so it was never a question of whether we would help her or not. We rearranged our schedules so she could finish her schooling and not worry about child care. We all lived at home and lent a hand in feeding and bathing and the like. I like to believe that we all helped raise little Jackson."
"Wow," I whispered in awe. "So babies don't intimidate you, I suppose."
"Not at all. I never saw myself as a father before Jackson came along, but I now I can't wait. I found that I am quite good with children." Was that a wink? I think he winked at me.
"Don't take this the wrong way, Cauis, but you're… fucking gorgeous, compassionate, and like kids," I laughed awkwardly. Thankfully, so did he. "Why are you single? What's wrong with you?"
"I'm a workaholic. At least that's what my last serious girlfriend told me. We were together three years when she said she had enough. I didn't pay enough attention or wasn't affectionate enough." He shrugged as if it was a flaw that he had come to accept.
"Really?" I shook my head. "I don't see that about you. You seem like you would be a very affectionate person." Then again, what did I know? I thought I knew Edward, but that didn't work out the way I thought.
"Oh, I can be very affectionate," he soothed, throwing a wink my way. I may or may not have blushed fiercely.
"You're good," I chuckled.
"And you have a beautiful glow." He was really fucking good. He stood from where we sat. "If things stay complicated with the lucky – but stupid – mystery man I hope you look me up."
I would need to keep that in mind.
~Now how about I'd be the last voice you hear tonight?~
"You know, Alice and my mom are very excited that you're allowing them to throw the baby shower for you," Edward commented as he sat on my couch. It was still weird to see him sitting there.
We were working on building a friendship. It was a bit awkward in the beginning as there was not much to talk about aside from the pregnancy. He did keep on with the questions, though, in a continuing effort to get to know me. He stopped testing my knowledge of him. He knew I could write his biography in a weekend.
I shrugged. "I figured it would get Alice off my back and if it makes Ma happy…" I trailed off and shrugged again.
I had agreed to the party last week, but I had a few stipulations. It had to be co-ed. I didn't have many important people in my life, and a majority of them were male. I told Alice that Edward had to be invited as a guest – not as the father of the babies. Kate was also not to be invited or Edward's plus one. I was still petty.
The party was tomorrow and no part of me was looking forward to it.
"What about you? Does it make you happy? Because you don't look happy about it."
I shrugged again. "Eh. It's okay, I guess. I've never been one for parties. I've only ever gone because of Emmett." He rolled his eyes playfully. "What? Do you think I'm this party animal," I laughed.
"Not a party animal, per se, but are you telling me you've never enjoyed any of the parties that you went to?"
"Some of them were fun, but it was only because of Em. I would have easily preferred to stay home with him and hang out. I mean…don't you remember those few times you hung out with us at home? We had fun, no?"
"They were few and far between, though," he responded. It was me. It had to be me because there was no way he actually sounded regretful.
"It wasn't for a lack of trying. There was always some test you were studying for or project you had to finish up," I teased. He looked away with shameful eyes.
"Hey," I called to him to get his attention back. "That's not bad thing. I know you're an adult now, but the world isn't that different from when we were younger. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for what you enjoy. You liked to study and that paid off for you. You should be proud that you accomplished so much in so little time." Without thinking, I quickly leaned over and pat his shoulder. "While you were becoming a doctor, I was flunking out of high school, so you made the right decision not to hang out with us." I tried to lighten the mood and I had no idea if it was working.
"So what's new with you?" he asked, desperately trying to change the subject. "We haven't spoken in a few days."
"I was offered a promotion at work. I don't know if Emmett mentioned that to you."
"He didn't. Congratulations, Bella. What position?" He was genuinely proud.
"Assistant store manager," I answered shyly. "I accepted the offer last week. I'm not a doctor or anything, but it's a step in the right direction career wise."
"Bella," Edward chided. "Stop. Assistant store manager is a big step. You should be proud. Your hard work is being recognized." He gave me a sly and knowing smirk. Touché, sir.
"Yeah, I guess." I shrugged. Even with Edward's encouragement, it didn't seem like such a big deal anymore.
"What else?"
"Um…I met someone at work," I answered for a lack of anything new to share. Edward's face contorted into something foreign to me. "I made it sound more serious than it really is," I amended. "He's the store's temp accountant. We've had lunch a few times together. He's a nice guy." And breathtaking, I left out.
"And he has no…hang ups on your current…condition?" Edward asked in a tone that seemed to question my judgment.
"You mean me being pregnant?" I asked with wide, questioning eyes. "Yeah, he's aware," I replied sarcastically. "It's kinda hard to hide, but he still seems interested. Hard to believe, huh?"
"That's not what I meant," he sighed. "Does he know about us?" he asked motioning between our bodies.
"What is there to know?" I asked, honestly at a loss of what to say. "We're not together, or anything. I'm not asking him to be a father to my children. We just have lunch sometimes. That's the extant of it," I repeated.
Why was I even explaining this to him? I didn't owe him an explanation for this or anything else.
"It's none of my business," he finally confessed.
"No, it's not," I agreed.
Insert awkward silence here.
"If I asked you questions that were none of my business would you answer them?"
"Probably. I don't really have anything to hide."
"So can I? Ask you some questions?" he proceeded seriously.
"Go ahead." I should have demanded that I get to ask some questions in return, but there was nothing that I wanted to know. I didn't have the strength to know how serious his relationship with Kate was.
It was another silent minute before he asked his first question.
"Do you regret anything from that night?" Well so much for starting out easy.
"One." He waited patiently for me to elaborate, but I could see the anxiety mar his beautiful features as he unnecessarily adjusted his glasses. "I wish that I had stayed the night with you. Maybe things would have turned out differently between us." It probably wouldn't have, but it was nice to dream.
He took another minute to think before continuing. I'm sure he wasn't expecting that answer, but I wasn't going to lie to him. I didn't regret sleeping with him or becoming pregnant. I didn't regret taking his virginity on a bathroom sink or kissing him. I regretted cutting our time short.
"How many people have you been with? Intimately?" he whispered.
My sexual partners seem to interest people these days.
"Including you?" He thought a second then nodded. "Two."
"What? Seriously?" he asked with utter shock.
"You know, I'm really becoming offended," I gritted out. "Rosalie had the same reaction when I told her. Do I have the word slut written across my forehead?"
"No, no, no. I d-didn't mean it l-l-like that." He shook his head and hands furiously. "I don't-t think you're a slut. It's just…you were popular in school. And I thought you and Jasper…,"he trailed off.
Why did it feel like I was having the same conversation with didn't people. I was feeling like I had to validate my actions all over again.
"I wasn't popular in high school – Emmett was. I told you this already. Emmett was the one with all the friends; I was Emmett's shadow." I gave him a pointed look as I threw his words back at him. "People didn't like me. They tolerated me because I was his best friend. Jasper was the only one who saw me as Bella, not Emmett's sidekick. We dated for almost a year, but he went off to college. I didn't want to tie him down during such a big time in his life."
"If he would have stayed in Forks, would you have slept with him?" There was something he was trying to pull out of me, but unless he asked directly, I wasn't giving him extra information.
"I don't know. Maybe. Maybe not. We had the opportunity before he left, but we didn't. I don't know what that tells you."
"Did you love him? Jasper, I mean."
"I did, but…" I shrugged, not really wanting to finish that sentence. He wouldn't let it go.
"But?" he pressed.
I looked at him straight on. "I loved you more."
I had to give him credit. He didn't shift uncomfortably or cringe away with my admission.
"What about your first partner?" he asked with a falsely confident voice. "Did you love him?"
"No. James was…a good guy that I wronged. I don't want to lessen his character by saying it was a mistake, but it shouldn't have happened." I guess there were things in my past I wasn't willing to divulge, but I didn't want to dirty the James situation any more than it was.
"Thank you. For sharing all that with me."
"Sure. I'm not sure what you gained from it, but you're welcome nonetheless."
Then the king of switching gears went on to say…
"I'm closing on a house in a few weeks." Talk about a mood changer.
"Oh, yeah? That's cool. Emmett didn't mention anything to me about it."
"He doesn't know about it. None of my family does."
I bet Kate knew, though. I had to fight not to roll my eyes and keep my comments to myself. They probably seemed like the perfect little couple house hunting together. Gag me with a spoon.
"It's four bedroom with a big back yard," he vaguely described.
"I thought you wanted a starter home? A four bedroom doesn't sound like a starter home," I replied with unnecessary force. Already planning a family with the pretty nurse?
"That was the original goal when I started saving, yes, but things change. My realtor showed me the house and right away I could picture myself planning the future there. I made an offer the next day and it was accepted." He shrugged like it was no big deal. "I was able to put a substantial amount down."
"Good for you," I replied half-heartedly. "Once again, you shoot for the stars and land on the moon."
"Maybe you can check it out when it's ready," he offered.
"Sure." I probably wouldn't.
~Spent all your time and your money just to find out that my love was free~
"Do I act surprised?" I asked Rosalie as she stood behind me and fixed my hair.
She looked at me like I was dumb. "Why would you act surprised?" She narrowed her eyes, gauging how stupid I actually was. "You know about the shower."
"I don't know," I replied petulantly. "How should I know how to act? I've never been to a baby shower before," I defended.
"Think of it as going to a birthday party. Everyone is there to pay a little attention to one person, eat free food, talk shit, and have a good time. You're over thinking it."
"Whatever," I mumbled. "Is Edward going to be there?"
"Yes, Bella. Edward is going to be there," she placated me.
"You're supposed to be nice to pregnant women. You'll get a sty in your eye if you don't," I reminded her.
"Sorry, Dr. Swan, I wasn't aware." She rolled her eyes. She was definitely getting a sty. I'd see to it.
"Are you almost done?" I whined. "My back hurts and my tummy itches."
"Yeah, we're done. Finish getting dressed and I'll call over – let them know we'll be on our way."
I looked at myself in the mirror. I was really something. Rose did a good job on my hair and make-up. I could have done it myself, but lately I could find the motivation to anything more than put my hair in a lopsided bun.
It was too bad I had the body of a whale. I would have been really feeling myself if I wasn't so bloated and achy. Where was the glow that I was said to have? It was probably buried under my swollen cheeks and cubby fingers. I was the opposite of a butter face. With a sigh, I heaved myself off the bed and into my closet.
…
I received a loud welcome when I arrived at the rented hall. It could have been a surprise party for all I knew. Charlie and Sue were already there. In fact, everyone was already here. More people than I actually expected. Apparently, Alice and Esme had invited co-workers that I would never have thought to invite. Not because I didn't like them, but because I thought they wouldn't want to come.
Jane and Marcus were there. Even Jessica. Lauren and Angela were in another corner speaking with Emmett.
Even…
"Oh, my God, Tanya! What are you doing here?" I hugged her like it was years instead of months.
"Alice called and told us about the shower. It's only me and Mom, though." She took a step back. "You're huge, Bella," she laughed. "You look like you're overdue."
"Yeah, thanks," I deadpanned.
"Oh, you're beautiful anyway. I can't wait to meet my new cousins. Maybe you'll pop tonight," she squealed.
"Shut your dirty mouth, Tanya." I glared at her. "I'm going to say hi to your mom." I left her laughing. I hoped she choked on her spit.
There were a lot of people here and I surprisingly knew them all. It wasn't like one of Emmett's parties where I maybe knew a handful. I talked to them all – thanking them for coming. Fortunately, not one of them was Kate. However, not one of them was Edward, either.
Before I could make my way over to Emmett and ask about his brother, the man in question was standing in front of me.
"Hi, Bella." He bent forward to place a kiss on my cheek. I may have been frozen in shock. "I'm sorry I'm late. You look very nice."
I stood rooted in my spot, sputtering and trying to find something to say. Edward – the man I was in love with and whose babies I was carrying – gave me a kiss and a compliment.
"I'm…I'm…good." I shook my head to clear the stupid thoughts. "I mean thank you. Thank you for coming. You look very nice."
"Thank you. I had to go home and change – one of the reasons I'm late."
"Don't worry about it."
He graced me with a shy, but indulgent smile. "I'm going to find my parents. I'll catch up with you in a little bit, okay?"
"Sure."
I sat myself down at the nearest table before I fainted. That was my Edward. I knew he couldn't have been a figment of my imagination. He may not have been mine, but that part of Edward would always own a piece of my heart.
"There's the beautiful woman of the hour," a sexy European accent purred to the side of me.
"Cauis?" I almost squealed. He helped me stand up so I could embrace him the best way I could with a big belly in the way. "What are you doing here?"
"I was invited. I hope that's not a problem for you."
"Of course not! I didn't know you were invited, but I'm surprised you'd even want to come. I hope you didn't bring a gift."
"You should know me better than that, Bella. Of course I did."
Jeez, he was good looking.
"I'm glad you came. Really." I was beaming. I knew I was. I could feel my face begin to ache.
We sat there and we talked. I pointed out the most important people at the party and told him a little about them. And like the pregnant lady whisperer he was, sometime during our private conversation, my foot found its way into his lap, receiving a moan inducing rub.
"You're really good at that," I groaned.
"A lot of practice, my dear," he laughed. "Now, tell me. Is the father of these wonderful babies at this party?"
It had not escaped my attention that I hadn't pointed Edward out.
"He is, yes," I confirmed. I would grant him the same courtesy as Edward and not hide anything from him.
"The situation is still complicated, I presume."
"As ever," I laughed.
"Can I guess who the lucky fella is?"
"Knock yourself out."
I watched him scope out the attendees. He gave the critical eye to any perspective males. There weren't many of them, honestly.
"It must be the handsome gentleman with the glasses," he guessed correctly.
"How'd you know?" I was impressed.
"Because if looks could kill I'd be a pile of ashes on the floor right now," he laughed.
"What?" I chuckled with him. I turned to look for Edward. It didn't take long. He was standing by the big wicker chair, glaring in our direction with Emmett whispering in his ear. "Yup. That's him. In all his glaring glory. I'm used to that look from him."
"Is he trying to pursue a relationship with you?"
"No. He has a beautiful girlfriend waiting at home for him. I don't know what his problem is."
"He's jealous," he answered simply, switching feet. I gave him an incredulous look. "I'm serious. I'm a guy and I know how we think. He may not want a relationship with you – and I find that hard to believe – but he's definitely jealous. We can make him really jealous if you'd like." He wagged his eyebrows. I laughed and swatted at him.
"Be nice, Cauis. This is a family friendly party."
"Ah," he sighed. "A man can only hope with a beautiful woman."
We continued to talk until Emmett approached us and introduced himself to Cauis. The two of them talked for a few minutes when it was announced the food would be brought out soon.
"I'm going to talk to Marcus. Bella, I'll speak with you later." He ran his finger down my cheek to my chin and departed. I swooned big time.
The food was delicious and continued to be packed on to my plate as soon as it disappeared. I hadn't overeaten like that in so long.
I mingled when I was able to stand again after fighting off a food coma. Every so often I would catch Cauis' eye from across the room and manage a quick smile before anyone could see.
Edward was attentive and I couldn't help think that Cauis' words were true – that maybe Edward was jealous. But there was nothing to be jealous of. He was the one who rejected me. If he came to me tomorrow and said he dumped Kate and wanted to run away with me I'd go in a heartbeat.
But that wasn't going to happen and Cauis was there – willing to accept me, baggage and all. I was very attracted to him, but nowhere near being in love with him. I could grow to love him, though, and wasn't that best for everyone?
Did I ever mention that I hated opening gifts in front of people? Because I did. It was just as bad as sitting there while everyone sang Happy Birthday. But I sat in the big, fan back wicker chair and opened gift after gift. Clothing and diapers. Bottles and nipples. A baby wipe warmer. A double stroller from Alice and Jasper. A changing table from Tanya and Carmen. Customized Seattle Seahawk infant jerseys with the name Cullen on the back from Emmett. A hi-def baby monitor from Rosalie. Cribs from Carlisle and Esme. High chairs from Charlie and Sue.
Tears and tears. That's all I had to offer all these people besides all my heartfelt thanks. They weren't even dainty, precious tears. They were crazy women sobs.
"I need to pee," I choked out from my seat. Everyone laughed at the crazy crying girl but that was okay.
"I'll help you up," Edward offered quietly. I took his proffered hand with gratitude.
"Thanks." Holding my bulging belly, I walked as quickly to the bathroom as my huge ass would allow. Thankfully, no one offered to accompany me. I needed time to get myself together.
Splashing myself with water – makeup be damned – I made my way back to the party.
"Hi," I greeted Edward as he stood across from the bathroom doorway. "Did you need something?" I questioned.
"Uhh…yeah. I…um…have your gift. I didn't want to give it to you in front of everyone, though. Do you…have a minute?" He was adorably nervous.
"Sure. Lead the way."
He took my hand. "Is this okay?" he asked nervously. I smiled shyly and nodded. However, my confusion was evident when he veered away from the hall entrance and toward the exit.
"Where are we going?" Now, I was nervous. It was a chilly November afternoon and not particularly ideal for being outdoors without a jacket.
"It's not going to take long," he assured me. Releasing my hand, he walked ahead and stopped to wait for me when he was a few feet away. "I'm not really sure what to say here so I'll just give you these." He held out a closed fist, waiting for my open palm. I held it out hesitantly, waiting for him to drop a dead bug or something similar.
The light metal and plastic were heavy in my hand. "Edward?" My wide, wet eyes looked into his scared ones. "What is this?"
"This is me offering my most sincere apology. This is me asking you to trust me even though I don't deserve any of it," he answered softly and sincerely. His eyes shone with unshed tears.
"This looks like you bought me a car," I corrected.
"Then it's exactly what it looks like."
"This is not what I wanted from you. I don't want these big gifts, Edward."
"I know you don't. I didn't buy it because I thought you'd want it. I bought it because I know you need it and you'll need it even more in a few weeks. And I was an asshole when I accused you of using my family for their money. I bought it because I can afford it." I opened my mouth to comment, but he cut me off before I could. "I didn't mean it to sound pompous, I'm just stated a fact. Save your money for the babies. They'll need things later than no one thought to gift you now. You shouldn't have to worry about how you're going to get to work or doctor's appointment, or having to constantly pay for repairs if you buy an old model. Something like a car should distract you from the really important things. Let me do this for you, Bella."
I should have presented an argument. Told him that I could take care of myself and, though it would be a struggle, I could buy my own car eventually. I should have told him that a car wouldn't make up for all the tears, heartache, and betrayal I've felt all these months. I should have told him that he didn't need to worry about any distractions from my children's wellbeing.
Instead, I said what I should.
"Thank you, Edward."
Wasn't this what being a mature, responsible adult was about – letting go of past discretions and making amends? Not letting the past dictate the present or future? If Edward was extending the olive branch – more like shoving it in my face – wouldn't I be just as bad as Edward was when my pregnancy was revealed? Refusing to think logically and with too much emotion. I had to look beyond my own pride and bruised ego and toward how this benefited my children.
"Do you want to take a look inside?"
"This is it?" I pointed to the new silver midsized Volvo he was standing next to.
"Yes."
I stepped forward and clicked the fob to unlock and open the door. Immediately, I noticed the two car seats already strapped in the back. I turned back to Edward with fresh tears in my eyes. My Edward.
Overwhelmed with emotion, I stepped back and locked the doors. I couldn't fully appreciate everything if I couldn't keep myself from crying.
Without warning, I wrapped my arms around Edward's waist. I felt him stiffen before awkwardly hugging me back.
"Thank you, Edward," I mumbled into his shirt.
"You're welcome, Bella."
Soon, the party started to trickle outside to come see my brand new car. Edward had kept his gift a secret from everyone, apparently. Esme and Sue wiped tears from their eyes as Carlisle proudly patted his son on the back, followed by Emmett. Charlie glared, but eventually expressed his gratitude. Cauis and Rosalie shared a similar, smug smirk.
Another two hours later, various guests were saying their goodbyes while other helped load gifts into my new car. My new car! I would squeal about it in private.
The gifts were then unloaded into my room and scattered around the living room to be sorted at a later time.
I was exhausted and just wanted my bed. Marcus was a fair boss, but not fair enough to give me the following day off.
The Volvo drove like a dream. Handling and breaking were smooth. There was no oil stain or exhaust cloud hovering above the car. I wasn't in constant fear that it would blow up while I was stopped at a light.
There was a built-in GPS –though getting lost in Forks just wasn't possible – and a rear view camera.
And the leather seats! Heated leather seats. My ass never felt so cozy.
I wish I was driving somewhere further than work.
Did I mention the leather seats? The leather seats that were now wet? So unless I pissed myself without knowing…
"No, no, no," I muttered as a pulled over to the side of the road. "That's not how it's supposed to go." I read the books, for fucks sake. As if to punctuate my point, a sharp pain ripped through me.
"Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck," I chanted as I tried to think through the pain. Taking steadying breathes, I slowly pulled back onto the road. Why the fuck didn't I replace my cell phone?
This is what I wanted right? To prove that I could have these babies by myself? Well, I guess I'm getting what I wished for. So why was I suddenly terrified?
AN: I may take forever, but I always come back.