Hot Off The Press
She's So High
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
"C'mon Orochimaru-sama, we've got a road trip to go on!" Kabuto cheered, skipping ahead of his mentor and into the snake man's black pedovan (Take that Itachi).
Orochimaru sighed. His bitch was a little tooexcited for his liking, but the six hour long drive was necessary, as Sakura's plane was landing at an airport two towns away from where he lived.
"This better be worth it." He hissed at Kabuto.
The white-haired dork pulled on a purple hat and T-shirt that read 'Orochimaru and Kabuto's Epic Road Trip,' and said in a sing-song voice "We're gonna be late!"
X
Hidan was furious, not because he had snuck out of the car when Sasori stopped in front of the airport so he could stalk Sakura, who was now nowhere in sight, but because he found out from one of the workers there that she had boarded a plane to Mexico City.
"Dammit!" Hidan yelled, scaring away a group of fangirls who where planning on raping him.
Why the fuck is she going to Mexico? Hidan thought hopelessly.
Beats me. I didn't even know we where going to Mexico. A voice inside his head said.
Who the fuck are you?
I'm your fucking conscious.
No you're not, I sacrificed my conscious to Jashin-sama years ago.
Well then I'm Jashin-sama.
Holy shit, I didn't know you were a girl!
Well I am, and I'm inside of you.
You're Jashin-sama, alright.
Enough with this...um, minion. Go save Sakura! And when you do, fucking ravish that girl.
Yes Jashin-sama! But...I do have one fucking question...
What is it?
Jashin-sama...are you a hot girl?
I'm the fucking love child of Draco Malfoy and Sirius Black.
X
Hey, where did you go?
Just to talk to a friend of mine. Oh, and you might want to ask one of the flight attendants where this plane is going.
Why?
Just do it.
"Um...excuse me?" Sakura said to the closest attendant.
"Yes?" The woman asked.
"Where is this flight landing?"
"It's going to Mexico, dear. More accurately, Mexico State." She smiled, leaving Sakura to gape at the air.
HOLY SHIT!
...I'm gonna take a wild guess and say you're not willing to jump.
X
"Where's Sakura?" Ino demanded, stomping up to Pein. The blonde had remembered what she had forgotten and had just now dragged her gang out of bed to go save Sakura.
"On a plane." The Akatsuki's leader told her. Him and his tired gang of sex bombs wanted to enjoy their vacation already.
"Why is she on a plane?" Sasuke scowled, letting a little bit of possessiveness leak into his voice.
"Foolish little brother, you lack hatred and are weak, therefore we will not tell you why Sakura is on a plane." Itachi smirked at Tenten, who looked at him quizzically.
"Itachi, that makes no sense." Sasuke said, glaring at his brother's upper back. Hn. Maybe Tsunade was right about his eyesight...
Itachi frowned and turned towards his chicken-haired brother's voice. "Foolish little brother, you lack hatred and are weak, therefore we will not tell you why Sakura is on a plane." He repeated his earlier words.
Sasuke flicked him off, knowing Itachi couldn't see the gesture and would get angry over the fact that he hadn't bothered to reply.
"Don't flick me off." An apathetic Itachi said.
Sasuke raised a dark (waxed?) eyebrow. "You can see?"
"No but you are foolish and weak, and therefore predictable." This time, Itachi was turned towards Naruto, who was standing next to Sasuke.
"Hn."
X
Okay,Hidan thought, pacing the Airport hallway despite the 'Wet Floor' sign that stood proudly behind him. If the pink bitch is going to Mexico, then I have to follow her. That's what fucking stalkers do, right?
Hidan marched towards the ticket booth, target in mind, only to slip on the soaked marble floor.
"FUCK!"
X
Ouch, face first. That must've been painful.
Huh?
Pikachu, I choose you!
Are you stupid or something? Everyone knows you should never use an electric type on a rock type!
It worked in that one episode...
Well, your name isn't Ash Ketchum, now is it?
Shut up and go back to sleep.
X
"WHAT? My dearest cherry blossom is on a plane to Mexico!" Rock Lee cried after receiving the horrid news from one of the ninjas he hired to keep an eye on Sakura for him.
Well, there was only one thing to do about this, Lee thought. Nobody was allowed to steal away the Green Beast of Konoha's bitch.