Shift change had taken place less than an hour ago, and Ten Forward was sparsely populated. That made it easier for him to notice that she was watching him. Given her long scrutiny, it surprised him when she left without speaking to him. Will said a quick goodbye to the group he was with and hurried after her, stepping into the turbolift just before the door closed.

They stood in silence until Rosemary, slouched against the back wall, said, "I think it's waiting for you to tell it where to take you."

"That rather depends on you," he replied with a disarming smile. "I get the feeling you're upset with me for some reason. Would you like to talk about it?"

Scowling, she demanded, "Is everybody on this ship a counselor?"

This time he laughed. "No, but as first officer, I'm used to handling personnel problems."

Crossing her arms, she hunched her shoulders. "So now I'm a problem."

"Perhaps I'm the problem," he offered. "Why were you watching me? Did I do something to upset you?"

Rosemary looked at the floor. "I... I don't know. Damn! I wish I didn't have to say that all the time. I think it's a memory, but nothing makes sense."

"And maybe it had something to do with me?"

"Just how close were you and Beverly?" she asked abruptly, then faltered at the curious look on his face. "I mean I'd hate to be breaking up the romance of the century just because I don't remember anything."

"We've been good friends for several years," he said cautiously.

Before he could continue, the door opened.

The lieutenant waiting there, a seasoned veteran of numerous difficult encounters, was given pause when she saw the lift's occupants. She had seen them leave Ten Forward a few minutes earlier and was confused to find them still in the lift.

Will took Rosemary's arm, leading her out and down the corridor to a nearby, rarely used lounge. Settling them both on a small sofa, he said, "Why don't you tell me more about this 'memory'."

Suddenly, everything seemed too close - the room, the couch, him. It took all she had to resist the urge to move, to put some distance between them. She refused to look at him, however, as she struggled to get a clear enough picture to put into words. She spoke in a rush, the words tumbling over themselves, unable to be contained. "Like I said, it doesn't make sense. It's you... but sometimes it isn't you exactly... and it's a lot more than good friends."

Will sighed. "You couldn't pick one of our confrontations, could you?" he asked wryly. "Well, the good news is I can explain it..."

Glumly she finished for him. "And the bad news is I won't like it."

"No, the bad news is it might be just as confusing as the memory. You can relax about one thing though; 'romance of the century' in no way describes my relationship with Beverly. But, she is one of my closest friends."

It took a while and a lot of explaining about Trills and their symbionts, but eventually, Rosemary said she understood what had happened between Beverly, Odan and Will.

"Why did you volunteer to be the host?"

It was a question Will had always suspected that Beverly wanted to ask. He wondered if he could give Rosemary the simple answer and be lucky enough to have her accept it. "To keep the negotiations going, of course."

"That's the Starfleet officer talking. Why did Will Riker do it?"

So much for luck, but this question was very Beverly, too. "Because I saw a friend who was hurting, and I wanted to do something."

"You knew Beverly and Odan were involved?" He nodded, wary of where this was leading. "Would you do it again?"

He was only half sure how to answer that. "For the negotiation, yes. For Beverly? Maybe not, but only because I don't know how much it helped her."

"That's a lot to do for a 'friend'." She arched an eyebrow at him.

Will reddened slightly. "Beverly is more than a friend and less than a lover. She's done more for me than I can ever repay, and she never asks for anything for herself. She deserves to be happy."

"Did Odan make her happy?"

"I think so... until Fate turned against her. Again."

She scowled at him. "You don't believe in Fate, do you?"

"Maybe," he shrugged. "Why not?"

"Because I don't like the idea that it was 'Fated' for me to be here, surrounded by people who want me to be somebody else!"

She got to her feet, and he thought she was going to leave, but she began to roam restlessly around the room. Her movements reminded him of prisoners he had seen in the brig - except that her cell was an entire ship.

'Or is it her entire life?'

That was a depressing image that he couldn't quite shake off.

When she came back in range, he caught her hand. "I won't lie to you by saying we don't miss Beverly or that we don't want her back. We desperately want both those things because Beverly is very important to us. But that doesn't make you any less important. You have developed into your own person - even if you happen to be a part of Beverly Crusher."

"A nice sentiment, Commander, but I'm not the part anybody wants."

"That's not exactly true. You're the side people would like to see more of in Beverly. As Rosemary, you have no responsibilities or duties. You are more relaxed. Beverly only lets us see glimpses of her humor. You're giving us a whole new insight to a friend we thought we already knew."

Despite her slight smile, her eyes darkened with sadness and her voice cracked slightly as she said, "And while you're all learning new things about Beverly, nobody sees me. Why should you? I don't even know who I am."

Will's heart ached as he watched her leave.

x~x

It wasn't terribly late, but the counselor hadn't been expecting visitors - not until she sensed him exiting the turbolift. She met him at the door as he was reaching for the chime.

In his agitation, Will didn't wait for an invitation, simply walked past her. Stopping in the middle of the room he turned and spoke quickly, "I told her about Odan." He forced himself to look at Deanna as he waited to be chastised for interfering with a patient.

Deanna sat back and watched the first officer shift his weight from foot to foot. The emotional mix was intriguing. He was absolutely certain he had done the right thing and at the same time was totally convinced he had made a huge mistake. "Sit down, Will. This isn't a court martial."

He looked as though standing was his own self-imposed penance, but he finally gave in, taking a position on the very edge of the chair across from her.

"What made you tell her about Odan?"

"She asked," he said simply. One look at the counselor's face told him he was going to have do better than that. "She was remembering bits and pieces. You have to admit it was confusing enough being there for the whole thing. Trying to figure it out any other way... Well, I thought it was the best thing to do at that moment."

Deanna shook her head, laughing softly. "I'm beginning to think I spent far too much time earning my degree. Everybody's a counselor now - and good ones!"

"We learned the hard way...," he grimaced, "in real life situations."

Searching his face, she realized something else. "You learned something yourself tonight, didn't you?"

"I guess I realized how she must have felt, looking for Odan and seeing me. I see Beverly, but it's Rosemary inside. And I want to tell her I understand now, but I can't because..." His voice trailed off, not wanting say the words out loud.

"You'll get the chance, Will," Deanna said, reaching out and squeezing his hand. "One day."

x~x

The memory of Odan sparked nightmares in which she was implanting not a symbiont but a ravenous parasite into Will Riker, bringing on a major regression in the progress they had made with Rosemary.

Nearly identical to her reaction to Geordi, for days it was difficult for her to be in the same room with Will, becoming hysterical if he came too close or tried to assure her that he wasn't injured in any way.

It became the pattern for the following months.

A memory or actual incident would set off horrifying dreams which led to a return of the uneasiness she had originally experienced around each person.

All that had to be worked through again in addition to finding a way to sort the original memories from the artificial ones.

Selar... Alyssa... Deanna... all were subjects of her nightmares - despicable, vicious dreams that made her unwilling to close her eyes many nights.

They explained their theory as to why Data never appeared in her dreams, but Rosemary didn't much care about why. She was grateful, whatever the reason, to have someone available to talk with at any time of night.

Picard tried to arrange his schedule to be available for each of the first three sessions whenever a new set of dreams surfaced. As the hysteria began to overwhelm her, he would whisk her back to her quarters.

On the occasions that he wasn't available, one of the others who had already been a subject of Rosemary's dreams was called in to substitute. She usually asked for Geordi first, a request most likely based on the fact that he was her first friend. Riker tended to be her second choice although no one was sure why.

She never asked for Deanna.

-tbc-