Chapter 13

BPOV

Once inside my bedroom, I asked, "Lily honey, how did you meet Edward exactly?"

"Well, I met him at school. Actually, I met Alice first, we have a class together. I then met Edward at lunch. He and I are in PE class together after that. We didn't hit it off at first. He was a little standoffish and a touch frightening, but now he is just amazing." I could see the honesty in her eyes and how they sparkled when she spoke of Alice and Edward.

Is it strange that a tiny part of me is jealous of my own granddaughter? I, in no way want to be with Edward, but the idea of being young and in love sounds like a dream that I have long since awoken from; like it is just beyond reach. I have to try to be a grown woman about this. I am happily married and love being in my 70s. Edward holds none of the allure that he held over me like when I was young. Granted, the vampire traits that draw in their prey are still there, but the love that I had for him now resides in my heart only for my husband.

She is making this so much harder for me. I want Lily to be happy, but I want her to be human and happy. I suppose that in the big scheme of things it really doesn't matter what I think.

"Honey, how do you feel about Edward?"

"Oh, Grandma Bella, I really care about him. He is so sweet. There is something somehow different about Edward and his whole family, but I don't mind. I am sure there are things that are different about me, but that shouldn't make someone not like me, so I want to extend that same courtesy to everyone else."

"What things are different about them sweetheart?"

"Um...well one of them will just materialize from nowhere in a cool mysterious kind of way. I never see them eating anything...ever; and just their extreme good looks. You know that can't be normal, but to me they are fascinating and so incredibly nice." My granddaughter is as observant as I was and really laid back about their differences. I had a moment of pause wondering what to do about their differences, but she is so accepting.

"Dear, how do you really feel about Edward; I mean really?"

She whispered to me, like that would keep them from hearing everything that we are saying right now. Poor angel, if she only knew. "I think I am falling in love with him, Grandma Bella. He is so kind and intense and when I am with him it is like everything else falls to the wayside and it's just us."

I was afraid of that. She is in love with Edward. What am I going to do? Do I call Liz and have her forbid Lily from seeing Edward? That could turn out badly; I can picture Liz wanting to know why Lily can't see them again and my having to explain how the Cullen's are vampires. As for being forbidden to see Edward; I know how I would have dealt with that, I would have run straight into Edward's arms if Charlie forbade me to see him. She is 18 and can make her own decisions. All I want is for her is to be safe and loved and as bad as I hate to admit it, I know Edward would protect her and love her beyond all else.

"How long have you been seeing each other?"

"Well, he and I have known each other since the first day of school, but he just asked me on our first date last night. I am so excited."

"Grandma, I have met the whole family. They are all great. Rosalie is so nice and Emmett is so funny. He even let me paint his nails and give him a facial during our slumber party last night."

I couldn't help myself; picturing Emmett trying to fit in at a slumber party was sending me into bouts of laughter. "Did you foist that on him or did he willingly want to be included?" I was dying to know.

"No, he wanted to be a part of the group. He was trying to be nice. Of course Edward and Jasper were being difficult, they are manly men, but don't worry their manliness is still intact. That was the most fun I have had in a long time. Mercedes, my other good friend was there and she thought Emmett was hilarious and a good sport for putting up with us."

"It sounds like you had a blast. I am glad that you are so happy sweetheart. What did you think of their parents?"

"Their mother, Esme, is so sweet. She is the kind of woman that anyone would want for their mother. She is so loving and kind. Carlisle...uh...Dr. Carlisle...I mean Dr. Cullen, their father, is the nicest man; he is funny and compassionate. Mom works at the hospital with him and she and Esme hit it off."

I could see this is going to be difficult, especially if Liz likes Esme and Carlisle, but then again who wouldn't?

"Honey, I am getting a little tired would you mind if you come back another time?"

"Sure, Grandma Bella." Lily looked at me with concerned eyes, so I smiled at her and patted her hand.

We stepped out of the bedroom and I walked over to Tom. Lily announced it was time for them to go. As they walked to the door I saw Alice make eye contact with me. I whispered so low that only they could hear, "Later on today; we will be here waiting." Then they made their departure.

I sat down on the sofa with Tom and we just held hands facing each other. He finally said, "Honey, I know what you must be feeling right now and I don't blame you."

I smiled wryly. "Why do I feel a 'but' coming on?"

His eyes twinkled and he said, "Remember, you told me long ago that you have forgiven the Cullens for leaving you behind. I know how you felt about Edward at that time, but still, you understood why he left. It took you a long time to come to terms with it, but after you married and had a family and career you understood what he meant by 'human experiences'."

I placed my finger over his lips and told him, "Hush dear, please let me have my moment. I am anciently old and may not get the chance to vent about this again." The humor in my eyes spoke volumes and he understood that I had forgiven them, but still wanted to moan and groan about it.

"Tom, I saw the look in Lily's eyes. She is in love with Edward. She really sees him for who he is. She knows there is something 'different' about them and she still has that light in her eyes. They started out as friends and that helped cement her feelings for him. I know now as an adult the feelings for Edward that I had was just infatuation and blossoming love, but mostly curiosity for what he was and not the love that Lily has for him or the love I feel for you."

Tom kissed my hand and hugged me tightly saying, "Dear, everything will work out for you, Lily, and Edward. I can feel it."

EPOV

Driving Lily home was a quiet affair. She held my hand and let me sit with my thoughts. When we pulled up to her house she leaned into me and kissed my cheek. I looked into her eyes and I smiled. "Will I see you later on this evening? What time will you pick me up?" she said. I smiled and told her 5:30 would be perfect. "See you then" and she waved at the three of us before stepping inside.

I called Emmett and told him that I didn't hear anyone threatening in the vicinity and that we need to meet at home.

I sat down in my room and scrubbed my face with my hands worrying about what I should do. I got up, paced the floor and went into my bathroom to splash water on my face. This was wholly unnecessary, but a human trait that refused to subside over time. Memories flashed through my mind; Bella and I at our meadow discovering a new relationship; our first kiss; sitting in Bella's living room with Charlie watching a game; Bella meeting my family for the first time; that fateful day when Jasper almost killed her over a derisory paper cut; then my mind flashed to that day I ended our lives as we knew them.

I went over the pain I had caused, the loneliness I had forced upon Bella; my whole family actually. I asked Alice and Rose to meet with the rest of the family. I just didn't have it in me to relive that intense moment again and see their stunned faces and questioning eyes.

Soon after arriving home, I heard a knock on my door; it was Carlisle and Esme. "You can come in," I said almost inaudibly.

"Sweetheart, are you okay?" I heard Esme's concerned voice in my head before the door had swung open. She swept me up into her cool embrace and hugged me tightly.

"Bella looked so shocked and angry," I said in a defeated voice. "It broke my heart to see that. How can I look her in the eye later on this afternoon?"

I sat there wondering how I could live with myself. "She is married." A part of my heart was breaking. Bella being married and happy is exactly what I wanted for her, but I didn't think it would hurt so badly. "Mom, what am I going to do? I have fallen in love with her granddaughter. If I would have known it would never have happened. How can I be with Lily now? If it is possible for Lily and I to be together, how can Bella accept me being with her?"

Esme looked at me with kind, sad eyes and replied, "Edward honey, I think that Bella wants her granddaughter to be happy no matter whom she chooses to be with and I think somewhere deep down she wants you to be happy, too. Sweetheart, God works in mysterious ways and eventually he will reveal his plan to you."

Carlisle placed his hand upon my shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly. He said, "Son, you have to stop beating yourself up for trying to do the right thing for her all of those years ago. Alice has seen that Bella will forgive you."

All I really wanted to do was to go to Bella and say I was wrong and for that I am so very sorry.

My brothers were suddenly in my room and they both looked thoughtful. They said nothing, but their eyes said everything I needed to know; they were there for me and loved me. Jasper was conflicted. He wasn't sure he could actually go there and look Bella in the eye. He felt so guilty. I smiled in return to let him know that I never have been angry with him. Emmett then suggested we all go hunt before returning to see Bella and Tom. I reluctantly agreed, but I really needed the distraction from my own thoughts and we weren't going far.

We arrived at the assisted living facility at 2:30 and we all walked upstairs hurriedly and eventually knocked on her door. Bella had opened it up and she asked us to come inside. When she gained sight of Emmett she rushed up to him, tripped and fell forward. He caught her before she could hit the floor and put her upright.

"Hey there, Bella! I see you are still accident prone," he said cheerfully. She hugged him, smiled and released her hold on him and then embraced Esme tenderly. "Esme, it is such a pleasure to see you again after all of these years," Bella said.

Esme smiled and told her the feeling was mutual. Bella nodded in Carlisle's direction and was about to embrace him when she caught sight of Jasper standing in the corner of the room. She smiled and slowly walked over to him. "Jasper, I was hoping that you would come tonight. I needed to tell you that I never blamed you for what happened at my birthday party. None of this was your fault. I have never blamed you; not for one minute." She awkwardly hugged him as if to show him the truth in her statement. Surprisingly, he hugged her in return. Jasper blew out the breath he had been holding in since our arrival. "Bella, you have no idea how sorry I am," Jasper said.

"Jasper, I forgive you. It wasn't your fault. I was the clumsy one who should have been more careful in a room full of vampires." She hugged him again and I could see the relief in both of their eyes. Bella then offered for us to sit down wherever we could find a spot in this tiny room and introduced us all to Tom.

"I have something I wanted to say," she said. She walked up to me and held my hand staring into my eyes. I felt a rush of familiarity with this gesture. My heart felt light as a feather at that moment. I was about to say something and she held up her hand and asked that she be able to finish. I nodded my head in understanding. "Edward, for the longest time I wanted you to suffer for the pain you caused me, for you to hurt like I did. After the immense depression had subsided, anger filtered into my heart. I knew this was self-destructive, but my mind wanted me to mourn the loss. I put up a front and went on with daily life, it was an altered half-life, but it was mine. My mom and dad even worried about me and my state of being. They sent me back and forth hoping a change of scenery would help. They sent me to therapy sessions and that didn't help either. It was something that I needed to work out on my own."

I started to feel incredibly disturbed by the turn of conversation and she saw the look in my eyes and squeezed my hand. "It gets better, I promise. I want you to know that I have healed and my life couldn't be better. Let's just skip ahead to how I met Tom Matthews by accident."

"How...how long did you stay in that depressed state?" I asked certain I wasn't ready for the answer.

"Oh, it lasted through college and a little after. I became a school teacher and the children helped me to find some happiness again."

Tom was in the room just taking all of this in and he laughed heartily saying, "Bella, why don't you tell them the truth about how we met. You ran me down."

I could see the hysterics in Emmett's eyes and they matched Tom's at the thought of Bella running him down. Bella responded by laughing and saying, "Okay, I did run you over. I was backing out of the grocery store parking lot and I accidentally hit the gas instead of the brake when Tom was walking past with his grocery bags. I felt so bad, I thought I killed him. Tom actually was just fine and he asked me if I would go on a date with him." Tom interjected, "Aren't you glad that you said yes?"

"Of course I am, dear," she responded kindly.

Alice said, "You ran your own husband down with your truck? And you actually asked her out on a date? The both of you are amazing. You were really meant to be."

"I really didn't want to go on a date, but I ran him down, so I went anyway out of guilt. Tom made me feel free of the depression I felt when we were together and I really needed that feeling so I accepted more and more dates with him. Eventually, we fell in love and I finally accepted his marriage proposal. It was then that I felt compelled to tell him everything, as we kept no secrets from one another. After Tom initially freaked out about knowing you are vampires, I told him about why you all left in the first place, what you had told me Edward. He explained to me from an outsider's perspective why you left and as painful as that might have been it was for the human life that you wanted me to have; to live a normal human existence that was rich and full of love and laughter. I had the life you wanted for me and I am eternally grateful. You were so wise and I was an emotional girl who didn't really know how I would change in the future. I didn't listen to you and I'm sorry."

I really wanted to hold her in my arms, but my better judgment told me not to do that. Tension was rolling off of me in waves. I felt a sudden surge of calm wash over the entire room. Tom raised an eyebrow and said, "One of you is working your mojo, huh?"

We all laughed and then I said, "Bella, you were so angry earlier, but now you forgive me?"

"Edward, I forgave you a long time ago. It was the heat of the moment that made me slap you."

Tom interjected, "Ah...honey you actually hit Edward with a chair, too."

Emmett and Jasper both sniggered and quickly stopped when Esme gave them a sour look.

Emmett said still laughing, "Aw shoot, I always miss the good stuff. Hey, Ed? Did it hurt?"

Bella saw the exasperated look that I gave Emmett and quickly said, "How did you know?"

Tom responded by saying, "I found my splintered chair under the sofa. Did you have to kill my favorite chair?" Bella blushed and said, "I hated that chair."

"Bella, what do you want me to do about Lily?" She looked at me with a puzzled look. This is one of those times I really wanted to read her mind.

She laughed and said, "Edward isn't it obvious what you should do?" I just sat there ready to tear my hair out. "Just go with your heart. She loves you."

"You don't mind? It won't hurt you?"

"Edward, it has been over 50 years since you and I were together. I have my soul mate." At that moment she went and took Tom's hand and gazed lovingly into his eyes; then she looked back at me. "Isn't it time for you to be with yours?"

My whole family smiled at me encouragingly. I responded quietly, "I thought you were my soul mate?"

Bella laughed and said, "Edward, I am so klutzy and danger prone. Being around vampires with my bad luck would have ended worse than the way things did for us if you would have stuck around. I now think that I was a stop on your journey through life. Meeting me and changing my life for the better was needed so you could find your true love and she happens to be my granddaughter."

I was confused. "You think I met you so I could break your heart?"

"Yes, I do. I believe everything happens for a reason and if it weren't for your leaving me behind and for my almost running Tom over, I never would have had Liz or Lily. Think about it Edward, you met Lily anyhow and she fell for you a long time ago. She had told me about a boy she liked, but it was never important enough for me to find out his name. There was nothing impeding either of you getting together as a couple."

I still couldn't understand why she was saying these things to me. "You mean we didn't matter?" I was dumbfounded.

"Of course we mattered, Edward. I will always love you and I know you will always love me, but we weren't meant to be. Meeting you sent me on my journey to finally meeting Tom and having a family. Edward, I am an old woman now. There is no way for us to be together and my being married doesn't help the situation any either. Besides, could you ever leave Lily behind?"

"No, I could never do that to anyone ever again."

"Well then you have your answer right there."

"If I could take it back?"

She said, "We can't live with what ifs. The last 50 years happened. You can only learn from your mistakes and move on. Go be with Lily, be happy."

"You don't mind her being with me? A vampire?"

"I know she will be safer with you than if she is alone and I know she will be loved dearly. What more could I ask for?"

Bella walked over to me and wrapped her arms around me. It felt so good. I relaxed into her embrace and all she said to me was, "Be happy, Edward."

She gave me a lot to think about and it felt good to have this conversation over and done with.

After many stories, laughs and with some tears, we finally left Bella, my past, with her husband. Oddly, I felt warm when I was leaving her home. Tom is a great man and I am happy that he protected Bella and kept her happy all these years.

My family had missed her also; with all of them it was as though no time had passed. Esme is making plans for a girl's day out to go shopping together with Bella. Carlisle is planning to come to the facility and donate his time for the residents there. Jasper was my only sibling that I was worried for. I wasn't sure how he would react to Bella and Tom, but it was like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders after all this time. I know he blamed himself for what happened to Bella. It was a papercut and one drop of blood, but he went after her like he was dying of starvation and that effected him greatly.

It was then that I pulled up to her house. I had just left my past love to meet my present love. I know now that Lily is in love with me and she doesn't know what I am. She will have to know sooner or later. I prefer later.

I mussed my hair to give myself a look of non-chalance. I just didn't want to look too polished. I went to ring her doorbell and I was pleasantly surprised by her throwing open the door and embracing me into a huge hug. Emmett would have a strength match with this girl if she was a vampire.

"I missed you," she said dreamily. I missed her, too! She smelled so good. I took in a huge breath to get more of her scent. It was almost vanilla, mint and...Jasmine? She had put on a perfume that had a similar scent to her own natural one. It made her more intoxicating. I had to shake my head to clear it, this girl amazes me. She is so similar and yet completely opposite of her grandmother.

"Are you ready?" I asked her.

She responded, "Where are we going?"