A/N: HELLO! As a result of being ill for a bit and therefore missing some of my uni classes, I read through the reviews for this and felt super bad that I've been leaving all of my stories hanging. So I figured I'd update this one first (it's my favourite to write for, because it's so easy to get back into), and then get round to everything else later.
Also, I kinda just like making Dani and Blades feel awkward.
A little Red Dwarf knowledge of holoforms, and some ridiculous dancing. Just what the doctor ordered.
Oh, and Chase's parents. (If you've read the second latest chapter of my other story Sirens & Scalpels you'll get this whole thing before everyone else.) Because fun.
Did anyone else almost cry at the RB season finale? Because I sure as hell did. And that musical episode? Someone, please. Try and tell me that Hasbro don't ship Blani, because they patently obviously do. (Although my ship goggles might just be permanently stuck on.)
I have decided that Cybertronians use the archaic "mater" and "pater" as opposed to "Mother" and "Father." As in, "maternal unit" and "paternal unit." Plus it just sounds funny when Chase says it.
Please enjoy this end-of-hiatus-marking chapter, and REVIEW! REVIEW ALL THE EVERYTHING! Because seriously, your little reviews, even just "This is good" or "This is bad" helps me. I mean, not as much as the longer ones, and the negative ones help less than the positive ones, and I kinda just don't even listen to most of the weird bible quote ones, but still. Review!
Chase's Parents Phone Him
"How are you doing these ridiculous moves, Blades?" Dani hissed as she was gracefully twirled around and set back on her feet with little to no effort from Blades' holoform. "You totally lied when you told me you didn't know any dances."
"I did not." Blades replied. "You only asked if I knew Cybertronian dances. I only know two, and I pretty clearly told you this. You just kind of forced your human dance knowledge onto me and almost got me electrocuted!"
"In my defence I was completely overcharged at the time." Dani said, smoothly pirouetting around a circle of dancers who had apparently gotten stuck in 1964, complete with tie-dyed t-shirts, dreadlocks and tiny circular sunglasses.
"How is that an excuse?! Electrocution is serious business!" Blades demanded very quietly, jumping over someone collapsed on the floor – with red hair and a suit jacket covered with piano keys – landing on his knees and sliding back over beside Dani with military precision.
"It just is, okay?" Dani retorted, pulling Blades to his feet, crossing her feet and spinning on the spot, then falling backwards for Blades to catch her and push her back up onto her feet. "Actually, come to think of it, how the hell am I doing these ridiculous moves?"
"Flyers have built-in aerial balance sensors, to keep us stable in the air, right?" Blades asked rhetorically, spinning about 20 times insanely fast, his waistcoat flying. "It's meant for just aerial manoeuvres, but, obviously we can't, uh, we can't just turn them off whenever we want to. So human dances, which are all about balance and strength and stuff, are super easy for us, because, um, because we've first off got unparalleled balance, and secondly because we're much stronger than the average human."
"Wait, what?" Dani asked, inspecting her hands while unconsciously rotating on the spot, stepping backwards, catching herself on Blades' arm and rolling backwards over it landing perfectly on her feet. "So we've still got our robot-mode strength in holoform?"
Blades shrugged, seamlessly transitioning into the dance from Saturday Night Fever. "Uh, not quite, but we're still way stronger than actual humans. Hard light doesn't really follow most laws of physics."
Dani caught her foot on the lip at the edge of the dance floor and fell backwards, automatically catching herself in a one-armed handstand and pushing off to land in one of the pink armchairs. Blades followed and sat himself down across from her.
"Wow." Dani said, mildy breathlessly. "I'm weirdly feeling quite tired."
"Yeah, well, what's your fuel state?" Blades asked, checking his watch. "Mine's actually getting pretty low."
Dani looked at her own watch which had a "low battery" symbol flashing in the top right corner. "I guess mine is really low, then. Can I still fly when I'm this...uh...hungry?"
"Sure you can." Blades said. "But we should probably turn our holoforms off. It uses a lot of power, because normally you should reasonably be able to last without refuelling for like a whole Earth week."
"Well then let's go back to the firehouse." Dani said.
"What about Graham and Kade?" Blades asked. "Shouldn't we, you know, tell them?"
"Nah. Kade'll just show up tomorrow morning with a different jacket than the one he was wearing tonight, and we'll find Graham sleeping inside a police box somewhere." Dani replied dismissively. "Now how do I turn this holoform thing off?"
"Like this!" Blades answered, suddenly disappearing into a tiny diamond-shaped floating thing which shot off out of the club.
Dani scowled. "Of course. Like that." she said to no-one in particular.
Dani concentrated as hard as she could on the words TURN HOLOFORM OFF and was pleasantly surprised when her viewpoint flicked back to her helicopter mode in a shower of blue sparks. Small green text flicked up in her vision saying LIGHT BEE DOCKED and she sent out a comm to Blades, who was spooling up his engines.
"Roger. What's the problem, Dani?" Blades asked.
Dani span up her rotors and took off. "Nothing, I'm just seeing this thing telling me I just 'docked my light bee.' What's a light bee?"
"A light bee is the thing which projects the hard light for your holoform." Blades explained. "Basically it's that little diamond-shaped thing that flies around inside your hologrammatic body and, uh, and projects a hard-light 3D construct."
"Oh, right. So that's why it uses so much power, because we're putting all our core systems into a tiny little flying diamond."
"Pretty much. Hey, you're getting the hang of this being an Autobot thing, now!" Blades complimented, taking off and following Dani towards the firehouse.
The lift descended to the main bunker floor, where Chase, Boulder and Heatwave were, once again, playing cards. Chief Burns and Cody were sitting on the edge of Heatwave's rotary CQC training platform, watching the card game.
"Hey, guys. Boulder cure your viruses?" Blades asked, jumping down off the lift and gliding down to earth with his tail rotors (in the bottom of his stabilisers). Dani followed in a much less impressive way, simply waiting for the lift to reach the bottom and stepping off.
"Yeah." Heatwave ground out. "Just in time for Chase to take all my chips again. Like he does all of the time."
Chase raised an optic ridge. "I would not take all of your chips all the time if you simply ameliorated your tactics."
Chief Burns laughed. "He's got you there, Heatwave. You've got no kind of poker face."
Heatwave grumbled. Suddenly, Chase's arm started ringing.
He looked at it for a whole second before completely ignoring it.
"Aren't you going to get that, Chase?" Blades asked. "It could be important."
Chase shook his head. "It is just a reminder that I set myself. It is definitely not an incoming comm call." he lied exceptionally badly.
"That's totally a comm call." Dani agreed.
"Is it from Airwave? I bet it's from Airwave." Boulder put in.
"It is not from Airwave." Chase ground out.
"So it is a comm call?" Heatwave smirked.
Chase's arm continued to ring loudly. He stared down everyone in the room who was even thinking about asking him to answer it.
Chief Burns raised his eyebrow. "Chase, answer the phone." he said. "That's an order."
Chase shuddered with the effort of resisting the order, but eventually pressed on his arm and answered the call. A white and black Autobot mech and a white and red Autobot femme appeared, projected in the air above his gauntlet.
"Chase, you had better have a very, very good explanation as to why you didn't accept our comm the minute we sent it." the femme said angrily. "I was worried sick."
"Y-" Chase attempted to reply.
"You know I worry, Chasey, don't you? I mean, really, your last comm you were talking about lifting an underwater research station back to the surface and let me tell you that is not an easy task. Have you checked your forearm struts? You could have bent or even snapped one, you know." the femme went on, becoming more agitated with every word.
"Calm down, Red Alert. Look at him. He's fine. And besides, he has his team to look out for him. Good day, Chase." the mech reassured the femme calmly.
"Good day, pater." Chase said.
Red Alert sighed and cycled her air vents. "Oh, you're right, of course, Prowl. Good day, Chase. Sorry about being such a worrier, dear, but..." she started. "Oh. Hello, Heatwave, Boulder, Blades."
"Good day, Chase's Ma." the three chorused.
Cody piped up from his seat. "Hey, Chase. Is this your parents?"
Chase turned slightly and nodded, apparently completely mortified. "Indeed."
"Hello, young human." Prowl said calmly. (Calm seemed to be his default setting, at least to Dani.) "Judging by your size, I would assume you are Cody Burns. Chase has spoken of you in high regard."
Cody smiled widely. "Really? That's awesome!"
"Yes," Red Alert said, rolling her optics, "if only Chasey trusted us enough to let us speak to his human comrades. We have asked him, you know. Repeatedly. Apparently we're too old and mad and we embarrass him."
"That is not at all what I said, Mater." Chase said defensively. "I simply pointed out that they are often busy with rescue operations and would not be available to talk."
"Well, I guess that's kinda true. Not all of us are here right now. My brothers are out, but I guess you can speak to my dad! Him and Chase are partners." Cody explained, gesturing towards Chief Burns.
"Good day, Chief Burns." Prowl said, inclining his helm respectfully. "Chase tells us you are the commander of the Enforcer contingent in your community."
Chief Burns nods. "Time was. The island's so small we don't rightly need a full police force, so these days the Rescue Team's pretty much it. You're a cop yourself, Prowl?" he asked.
"Indeed. I had the honour of serving in the Enforcers before and after the Great War. During the war I served as the Prime's tactician." Prowl confirmed. "I did what I could."
Red Alert sighed. "Oh, he's being modest. Prowl was held in such high regard that one of the Decepticon Hunter regiments was named after him."
Dani snapped her fingers. "Oh, you mean the Prowlers!" she asked. "Chase was in the Prowlers before he joined Sigma-17."
Red Alert inclined her helm. "Yes, that's right. I'm sorry, but who are you? Chase? I thought there was only four members of your team?"
Chase bowed his head. "This is Blades' partner, Mater. Dangerzone."
Blades had a sudden realisation and made some kind of garbled excuse. "Ah...um, well, it's not quite as simple as..."
"Well done, Blades. She's quite pretty." Red Alert said, winking.
"Oh. Uh. No, uh, we're not...um...we're..." Blades stammered, going quite blue as he and Dani surreptitiously shuffled a few steps away from each other.
"Oh, I'm messing with you, Blades, dear." Red Alert smiled, her optics twinkling. "Sorry, Dangerzone."
"Mater, will you please not embarrass my teammates so." Chase requested. "This is exactly the reason why I do not invite you to speak to them regularly."
Prowl laughed shortly. "You can relax, Chase. We cannot exactly show them however many pictures your mater has of you as a youngling. Although I am reasonably sure that she will find a way."
"Yes. Please. Allow us to have some recharge, pater, mater. I am sure we have a long day of much strenuous rescuing tomorrow." Chase agreed, his hand hovering over his forearm.
"Indeed. We shall give your regards to Airwave, before she loses patience and flies to Earth." Prowl said. "I am also sure that those cards and that large pile of Energon chips is helping you to recharge. Good-bye, Chase."
Red Alert laughed. "Oh, do try to get better at lying, Chase. We love you. Good-bye, Chasey-Wasey!" she trilled.
"Mater, I cannot believe you would use that nickname, I – Oh. What is the point. Good-bye, Mater, Pater." Chase finished, slamming his hand down on his forearm and cutting the call.
Dani raised her optic ridge. "So...Chasey-Wasey, eh?"
Chase levelled a flat stare at every member of the room. "We shall never speak of this again. Or I shall bring up how my maternal unit assumed that you and Blades were a couple, repeatedly and at length."
"Mhm. Chasey-Wasey." Blades grinned.
"Oh, for the love of-"