Chapter 14

Jacob's POV

It took everything in me to remain calm and collected as Nessie and I got on my bike and drove away from the high school. I didn't know what had happened, but it didn't really matter. She was upset and what's-his-face was nowhere to be seen so it was fair to assume he had done something wrong. If he had hurt her in any way, shape, or form, so help me God… I forced myself to stop the thought. Otherwise, I knew I would lose control and that would do a lot more harm then good right now. Instead I chose to focus on how close Nessie was to me, how tightly she was holding on to me, how I could still feel her heartbeat despite the vibrations from my bike. I felt her slide a hand up to my face and could see that she didn't want to go home. She wanted to go to the beach at La Push. I made a turn for the reservation and ended up pulling up in front of my house. I looked back and saw a face filled with sadness and confusion that absolutely broke my heart. I took of my helmet and took one of her hands in mine.

"We're going the beach, Nessie. Don't worry. I just figured you might want to change first and we could grab some blankets or something. It gets chilly down by the water."

She absent-mindedly nodded her head and walked into the house. She stood helplessly in the kitchen while I went into my room and found her some sweatpants and an old thermal that I hadn't worn in years. I returned to the kitchen and handed them to her. She took them silently and went into the bathroom. I packed a backpack with a blanket, a flashlight, some water bottles, and a few beers that I had in the fridge. I wasn't really sure what she would want or need so as I waited, I collected a few other odd objects that I saw lying around, trying to keep busy. She emerged from the bathroom in the clothes I had lent her. She had cleaned off the makeup Rosalie had put on her and taken all of the pins out of her hair. It fell around her shoulders in radiant copper tendrils that I longed to run my fingers through. As beautiful as she had looked early that night, I preferred her like this. This was my Nessie and she was perfect just the way she was. She didn't need makeup and fancy hair to be exquisite.

I cleared my throat.

"Um, so I was thinking we could go down to the beach and I'll start a fire and you can tell me what happened. Does that sound ok? Or we could just walk on the water. Or sit on the water. Or we could go over by the cliffs. Or…"

"A fire sounds great, Jake. Let's do that."

She walked out of the house and I awkwardly followed. We started making our way to the beach in a comfortable silence. I knew she needed to talk but I didn't want to push her. She would start explaining everything in her own time. When we were about halfway there, she shyly reached out and grabbed my hand. I interlocked our fingers and squeezed it tightly. I loved the way they fit together. They were so different. Her hands were small and delicate while mine were large and calloused. She was white as snow and almost glowed against my tan skin. But they balanced each other perfectly and looked like they belonged together.

We finally made it to the beach and found a pit that had been used fairly recently. I found some wood and started a fire while she retrieved the blanket from the backpack and laid it out for us. When I finished I turned to see her holding two bottles of beer with a cocked eyebrow.

"Trying to get me drunk, Jake?"

"I wasn't sure what you would want," I said sheepishly. "And one beer will hardly get you hammered."

"No, you picked right. You always do."

I sat down on the blanket next to her and we stared into the fire.

"So. Do you want to tell me what happened?"

"There's really not much to tell," she said with a sigh. "He was cheating on me, I confronted him, I got him in an arm lock, and then I ran out."

"Wait. He CHEATED on you?"

I felt my blood run cold and I was seeing red. I would kill him. I would literally go back to the school and maul him. I knew he was stupid, but how could you throw away an opportunity to be with the most perfect creature on the face of the Earth? I would be doing the world a favor by killing him. The world was full of morons and we would be better off with one less idiot.

"Jake, please calm down. I'm ok. Yes, he's a despicable excuse for a human being and what he did is disgusting but it's really not that big of a deal."

"Nessie, of course it's a big deal. He cheated! He hurt you!"

"No, he didn't. I mean, yeah, it wounded my ego a little bit but other than that I came out unharmed."

"You're just saying that."

"No, I'm not."

She went back to staring at the fire for a moment and I waited for her to continue.

"I didn't love him," she whispered so softly I wasn't sure I heard it.

"You…you didn't?"

"No. I didn't. I thought that maybe I could but now that I think about it, I know I never really did. I think about my parents and Grandma and Grandpa and everyone else and Joe and I never had what any of them have. I should have realized from the beginning that if I had to make a conscious effort to try and love him that it wasn't real. I guess I just really didn't want to be alone."

I wrapped her up in my arms and she let her head rest on my shoulder. I kissed the top of her head and drew soothing circles on her back.

"You'll never be alone, Nessie. I'll never leave you alone."

We sat like that for a while until I suddenly felt her body stiffen underneath mine. She untangled herself from my arms and locked her eyes with mine.

"What were you doing there tonight? Why did you come?"

"Because I love you."

I watched as her eyes widened and her mouth fell open. Damn it. I had practiced a whole speech on my ride over to the high school. I was going to make a big scene at the prom and impress her with my well-composed verses of my undying love for her. It was going to be smooth and poetic and she would've eaten it up. Instead, I blurted it out like an idiot. Nice going, Jake.

"Wha-what did you just say?"

I took a deep breath. Everything that I was planning on saying was completely gone now. I was going to have to improvise.

"I said I love you. I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you for as long as I can remember and I've made a real mess of things. I should've told you forever ago so that I could spend every day after that telling you how much I love you. I was a coward. I was afraid to tell you. I was afraid to fight for you because I wasn't sure what I would do if you didn't love me back. The greatest regret of my life will always be that for the past year, I didn't fight for you. I thought I was doing the right thing, but you deserved better because you deserve everything. If I've learned anything from this, it's that I don't think there can be any greater pain than the pain of not telling you and seeing you with someone else. You can't possibly comprehend how much I love you. If you could ever find a way to love me, then nothing else would matter. The sun could fade out into nothing, the moon and the stars could fall on our heads, the Earth could flood, or freeze, or burn, and it wouldn't matter. If you could ever find a way to love me, I wouldn't need food or water. There'd be no need for air. If you could find a way to love me, then I could do or be anything. You're love is all I need."